Soldiers
by cdghuntermco
Summary: Some time before the events of Mass Effect 1, Shepard makes the unorthodox call to include Ashley William's unit on a covert op. A Male Shepard and Ashley Williams romance, spanning all three games and beyond. Rated Mature for language and adult situations. Currently covering Mass Effect 1.
1. Chapter 1 - Circumstances

Soldiers

Sometime before the events of Mass Effect 1, Shepard makes an unorthodox call to include Ashley William's unit on a covert op.

I do not own Mass Effect or any of its subsidiaries.

Chapter 1 – Circumstances

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><p>Shepard stepped out of the elevator and into the waiting area. Bypassing the other patrons either waiting or talking, he logged himself in at the reception desk. The receptionist informed him that the Admiral would see him in a few minutes, so Shepard opted to sit down in one the chairs and wait.<p>

Once again he found himself on Arcturus Station, due to meet with Admiral Hackett and be given another mission to complete. And due to the fact Shepard was an N7, it was likely something high risk that the Admirals would only trust in the most assured hands. Shepard might have complained, but this was in fact what he had signed up for. If anything he never wanted the skills he acquired through ICT to be wasted while playing gate keeper on some back water colony.

Soon enough a younger officer came into the waiting area and asked Shepard to follow him. Shepard was lead through a series of hallways and through a door, where he found Admirals Hackett and Mikhailovich standing over a holographic projector table. Shepard snapped off a crisp salute.

"At ease, Shepard." Hackett greeted in his trademark gravelly voice. Sheaprd lowered his hand and accepted the handshake Hackett offered. "Glad you could make it. I hope Anderson doesn't mind we've detained his XO."

"Anderson is fully capable of running the _Tokyo_ without me, sir. And he knew you'd only call if it was important."

"True enough." With a nod of his head, Hackett directed Shepard to the holo table. Inputting a command, Hackett brought up the image of a woman in her mid-thirties. Shepard recognized her as one of the chairmen for Hahn Kedar Manufacturers.

Hackett continued. "This is Beatrice Prior. As you may know, she is an important official within Hahn Kedar, and we rely upon them for our weapons manufacture. We've received reports that the transport ship she was traveling on had been attacked by pirates. They must obviously know who she is, for we've received multiple transmissions requesting the pirates be paid five hundred thousand credits for her safe return."

Shepard nodded, but didn't quite understand where he fit in this equation. "And where do I come in, sir? Want me to track them down and find where they're holding Prior?"

"We appreciate the enthusiasm, Shepard, but we're already a step ahead of you." Mikhailovich interjected. He typed in a few more commands, and the image of Prior was replaced with the topographical overview of a fortified base. It was surrounded on all sides by high rocky outcroppings. That made it impossible to get to the base by anything other than a shuttle or by foot. The outcroppings allowed a height advantage to anyone attacking the base, but that was counteracted by the four sniper perches that stood in each corner of clear land between the base and the outcroppings. In addition, on top of the building sat two sets of anti-air defense systems.

"Prior installed a tracking device into her femur some time ago." Mikailovich continued, "Using that, we were able to track her to Utukku, a pitiful little planet in the Mulla Kul System, Ninmah Cluster. The pirates set up base in one of the southern mountain ranges."

"Their anti-air makes it too dangerous to try and drop in troops with Kodiaks," said Hackett. "And we can't bomb them from orbit for fear of Prior being killed in the blast." He turned to Shepard. "The reason you're here, commander, is because you have extensive experience with ground missions such as this. We want you to come up with a plan to infiltrate the base and then lead the assault once we know what to do."

Shepard rested his hand on the table and leaned over the holographic image, spinning it to view the base from different angles. The building was rather tall, so it was likely the facility didn't go too far underground if at all. From what he could see, it only had two entrances. A large gate on the south wall, and an elevator that allowed access to the landing area on top of the base. Contemplative, Shepard gripped his chin, running through different scenarios in his head.

"Whatever you plan to do, commander, make sure that you act quickly." Mikhailovich piped in. "It's likely the pirates will execute Prior once you make it into the base before you can reach her."

Like a light bulb turning on atop his head, the idea formed within Shepard's mind, and a small smile grew over his face. "Well then we make sure the assault team doesn't go near the base."

Hackett and Mikailovich shared confused looks before turning back to Shepard. "How exactly would that help us, Shepard?" Hackett asked.

Shepard zoomed in on the outcroppings south of the base. "What I mean to say is that we'll have the main assault body attack from here. First, they'll use heavy artillery to take out the sniper nests. Once those are dealt with, they'll start laying down small arms fire on the mercs coming out of the main gate. The assault team will make a show of trying to cover ground, but in reality they're staying hunkered down and drawing the pirates' attention."

Shepard scrolled back to the elevator on the northern side of the base. "At the same time, I'll approach from the north, hopefully undetected, and use scaling equipment to make it up to this elevator and sneak into their base from behind."

"By yourself?" Mikhailovich asked incredulously.

Shepard answered without looking up from the hologram. "I move faster by myself, or in small three man teams." He stood up straight and addressed Hackett. "I can't predict how many hostile I might encounter, but most of them should be preoccupied with the activity to the south. I can get in, find Prior, and get out before they even realized they've been duped."

Hackett was already nodding approvingly, going through the logistics in his head. "I say it sounds like a plan. How fast can you and your men get out to Uttuku?"

Mikhailovich gave a dismissal wave of his hand. "The _Tokyo_'s stationed with the Third Fleet right now. It would take too long to break away and head out." He turned to Shepard. "The _SSV Leipzig_ is in dock at this very moment, and she can get you there faster. Thing is, it doesn't have a marine posting right now, so we'd have to bring in another unit."

Ever prepared, Hackett immediately pulled up a holographic list and passed it to Shepard. "This is a list of units on hand that aren't currently stationed aboard ships or on colonies. Read through them and tell us if any of them might fit the bill you need."

Shepard scrolled through the various options, looking through their aptitude scores, service histories, commendations, and commanding officers. One that stood out to him was the 212 Marines, a unit that, despite its outstanding aptitude scores, had a very distinct lack of actual hands on missions. The commanding officer was one Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. Shepard thought he knew the name from somewhere.

He pulled up her bio. From her picture, Shepard could see that she was very much a military woman. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into a regulation bun and the tan on her skin denoted the hours she must have spent groundside while stationed in colonies. She held herself with authority, and her facial features spoke disciplined professionalism.

Beyond that, she was well toned for a woman. She had large brown eyes and full lips. While Shepard didn't normally let himself be caught up in things like this, he had to admit she was quite pretty for a marine. Sure, her nose was a bit big and her features a bit masculine, but it all equated to a beauty that was rugged and earned rather than pampered and crafted.

Ms. Williams had a sterling record, the very epitome of what a soldier should strive for. However, her rank was much lower than someone of her skill deserved, and the fact that she lacked actual groundside combat experience was glaring. Needless to say, Shepard was intrigued.

"How about these guys? The 212?" he asked while enlarging the roster over the table hologram so the other two men could see.

Mikhailovich sneered, failing miserably to hide his disdain. "I think a mission such as this requires more seasoned hands, commander."

"These men and women have been working together for a few years. And they've shown to have a good deal of potential."

Mikailovich still looked unsure. "I don't know, Shepard. What if this goes south? If people hear Williams was involved with a botched op, your credibility goes down the shitter."

Perplexed, Shepard looked to Hackett. "Is there something I don't know about Williams, sir?"

Hackett sighed. "You know of Shanxi's history, yes?"

"The only colony we temporarily lost during the First Contact War with the Turians. What does Shanxi have to do with this?"

"Yes. The commanding officer of the colony's military force at the time was General Nathaniel Williams."

Now it clicked in Shepard's head. Alliance ships had been driven from the system, and the Turians blockaded the colony. Rather than lose more soldiers and civilians to orbital bombardments, General Williams and his forces had opted to surrender. After the cease fire, Williams had been ridiculed in the public eye and his command taken away. After that he faded into obscurity.

Shepard had once done a report about the man in high school, the topic being take a historical 'mistake' and justify it. Shepard had never faulted Williams for his decision, in accordance to his own mentality of prioritizing saving lives over the mission. However, that had not stopped several of his fellow class mates with relatives in the war berating him for his "wrong opinion."

"Now you see why involving Williams might not be the best option, commander?" Hackett implored, "Besides, she and her men don't have the experience for a mission such as this."

While Shepard maintained an outward persona of calm assurance, he secretly fumed on the inside, furious that the woman he assumed to be General William's granddaughter was being short shafted for events that happened decades ago.

Shepard leveled Hackett with a malign glare. "Admiral, do you mean to tell me you intend to hold this woman and her unit back because of her family's history?"

Hackett stood straighter and folded his arms behind his back, unwilling to visibly back down. "What I intend to do, commander, is assist you in rescuing Prior, in any capacity. Now, do you honestly believe William's unit is the best choice for this mission?"

Shepard jabbed his finger on the data pad showing the 212 roster to emphasize his point. "I know that if I were in William's position, I'd be clambering for an opportunity like this. Not just for me, but for my men. And yes, I've made my decision."

Hackett looked to Mikhailovich, who held his hand up in surrender. "You've made your point, commander. I'll make the calls for William's unit to come in and the _Leipzig_ to start preparations for takeoff. At most you'll have five hours before you depart, but probably fewer, to get your things in order."

Shepard stood straighter and snapped off a salute. "Thank you, sir."

Mikailovich pointed a finger at him. "You can thank me by getting this job done right, commander."

* * *

><p>"So what do you think we're doing, Brandson?"<p>

"I don't know, Morley," Brandson muttered sourly yet again.

"Oh come on, Brandson! You can't tell me you're not even a little bit curious. Maybe we have to clear a space station full of pirates, or it's a secret mission against the Turians, or…"

Ashley Williams listened to the corporal rant off different ideas, her head ache steadily increasing with each one. She finally had enough when he got to breaking up an underground ring of Hanar prostitutes.

"Morley!" she barked. The young man clamped his mouth shut and stood at attention, but visibly shrank under her withering glare. "The commanding officer will give us the full debrief once we get to the _Leipzig_. Until then, I suggest you keep your goddamn mouth shut."

Morley did indeed clamp his mouth shut, and muttered a "Yes mamn" while finding a spot on the floor extremely interesting. Ashley might have worried about being too harsh on the kid, but she was too grateful for the silence in the elevator to care.

But while Ashley didn't want to admit it, she too was perplexed as to what their mission was. She'd gotten the call from Alliance command stating that her unit was being taken off of their shore leave for a classified assignment. Stranger yet, they also informed her that Commander Shepard of all people would be taking command of the mission. Both of these things were highly irregular for Ashley's service history, and it irked her not knowing just what was going on.

Despite that, she was still a soldier, and she still had to do her job. So she rounded up all of her men, either in person or by comm., and informed them of the situation. Aside from a few groans of displeasure, they snapped to attention and began getting their affairs and equipment in order. With their preparedness, the last few stragglers would make it to the _Leipzig _before even an hour after the call came in.

Still, the whole situation grated her nerves, what with the sudden timing and general lack of substantial info. She couldn't shake the feeling that something had gone terribly wrong. Alliance command would never call on a Williams unless the situation was truly desperate. Not after what happened with her grandfather.

Ash mentally kicked herself. That was a road she had been down numerous times before, and it never left her feeling better. For now all she could do was board the _Leipzig,_ get the briefing from Commander Shepard, and prepare her men.

Although Ashley had to admit she was excited to meet _the_ Commander Shepard. After Akuze the man had become a celebrity on the galactic scale, a poster boy for the Alliance. She didn't actually know much about the man himself, just what she'd read in reports and news articles about his assignments that weren't classified. Just that he'd been born and raised on military ships his whole life, his mother Hannah Shepard was currently a rear Admiral, and his father Daniel Shepard was a veteran fighter pilot who died of a heart condition around the time his son was five.

John Shepard had enlisted at eighteen and had been invited into N school early on. He later went on to become one of the school's highest scoring graduates. On Akuze, he had lost his entire unit to a Thresher Maw attack. Reports were sketchy, but Ashley heard there were three Maws in total, and Shepard took all three down with a Mako, but the vehicle was practically half melted by the time the last worm was dead.

After that Shepard became the Alliance go-to man, almost always on point for the most dangerous and high risk missions. If Shepard was involved, Ashley knew their mission today wouldn't be a simple snatch and grab.

The elevator dinged as when they reached the docking bay and its doors opened. Ashley hefted her duffel bag onto her shoulder and followed her two friends onto the docking area. The _Leipzig_ was thankfully easy to find, as it was the only frigate currently in dock. Upon getting closer, Ashley could see that a number of her other troops were waiting to be let in through the ship's decontamination port.

Eventually they all made their way onto the bridge, where the pilot informed them to head down to the ship's cargo bay. There they could stow away their gear and Shepard would be down eventually to brief them on the mission at hand.

A few minutes later, Ashley and most of her men were congregated in the cargo bay, putting their equipment away as they waited for the last few stragglers. Ashley stood off to one side, doing her habitual cleaning and rechecking of her guns. Suddenly, the group's somewhat loud chattering turned to hushed whispers. Confused, Ash picked her head up and looked to the elevator. Sure enough, Commander Shepard had just walked into the cargo bay, surveying her men with a critical eye.

Ashley had to admit the recruiting adds using his likeness did little justice to the man himself. Shepard walked with a calm but powerful assurance to his step. His entire presence was utterly commanding.

Under that persona Shepard certainly wasn't a sorry sight. His dark hair was close cropped, showing the dips and curves of his skull. He had a strong chin, and his dark blue eyes looked like they could pierce your very soul.

His body could only be described as years intense of intense military training. He had a broad chest and limbs that only consisted of lean cords of muscle. It was as though there was nothing going to waste in his figure.

Ash mentally kicked herself yet again. Checking out your commanding officer _never_ panned out well. Attachments only led to tension during postings and had the potential to derail missions.

_Besides,_ she chided herself, _a guy with looks like that can do a lot better than me._

Shepard approached one the men closer to him and seemed to ask him something. Ash couldn't hear them from where she stood, but she could guess at the topic, as the marine pointed in her direction. Upon seeing Ashley, Shepard thanked the man and made a beeline for her position. Ash put her weapons aside and stood at attention, snapping off a crisp salute when Shepard was close enough.

"At ease, Williams." He extended his hand, and Ashley shook it. "I've read a lot about you."

"Anything we need to discuss, sir?" She was prepared for this part; the rundown. How he was in charge and Ashley wasn't here to hold him back.

"Before you ask, yes, I know your grandfather was General Nathanial Williams."

Ashley nearly jumped to give her normal platitudes and assure she wouldn't disrupt his command, but Shepard cut her off.

"That being said, no, I do not care that your name is Williams, nor do I subscribe to the idea that your name automatically makes you an inept soldier."

That struck Ashley dumb. Normally during these talks her CO's spoke with barely concealed contempt. Shepard spoke as if he were talking to his equal. It was… different, to say the least.

Ash couldn't come up with a proper reply, so Shepard continued. "All I do care about is if you can follow orders, control your men, and get the job done no matter the cost. If you can do those things, then I see no reason as to why we can't work together."

Still reeling from mild shock, Ashley pulled herself up even straighter. "Of course, sir. I won't let you down." A pause. "And… thank you."

"Good." At that, Shepard relaxed somewhat and a smile spread across his face. "Now loosen up. You're starting to make me feel bad."

Ash huffed a laugh and eased some of the tension in her body. If Shepard was anything at all, it would be odd. Normally her CO's didn't talk with any respect toward until she beat in into their heads that she could prove to be a valuable asset. Shepard spoke to her like her potential was general knowledge. It was… nice.

"Permission to speak freely?" she asked him.

Shepard shrugged. "Um, sure. What's on your mind?"

"You're pretty weird."

His brow lifted in mild surprise. "That's not the normal kind of gushing I usually receive, but I'll take what I can get."

Ashe couldn't help but laugh as she leaned back against the weapon bench. "No, I mean you're... different, I guess. The good kind. Normally my CO's can't stand it when they find out I've been placed under their command."

"Well I do like to think I'm not like most commanders. And like I said, I don't care about your name, just what kind of soldier you are. Besides, from all the guard postings I saw in your file, I figured you and your guys might want a change of pace."

"Amen to that. Ever since the call came in Morley's been itching to find out what it is we're doing."

"I'll get to that eventually, as soon as everyone's present. Speaking of which, do you know when the rest of your men will show up?"

"Last I checked three of our guys were still incoming, but they should be here in a few minutes."

Their conversation might have continued, but both of their heads were drawn upward at the sound of the ship's VI. "Commander Shepard to the CIC. Commander Shepard to the CIC."

Shepard sighed. "Well, duty calls." He turned back to Ashley. "But we'll continue this later?" he asked, a hopeful expression on his face.

Ashley felt a wide smile spread across her face. "Sure. I'd like that."

Shepard nodded, his own smile present, before turning and making his way back to the elevator. Ashley watched him walk away, ruminating on their conversation.

Nice ass too.


	2. Chapter 2 - Opportunities

Soldiers Chapter 2 – Opportunities

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><p>Brandson thrust his mug of beer into the air and shouted, "To the 212! The best band of sons-a-bitches this side of the Milky Way!"<p>

The rest of the company raised their own glasses and cheered before chugging deeply. Ashley joined them in their cheers, but didn't match them for their guzzling. Ash hadn't nominated herself as designated driver, per se, but she took it upon herself to remain lucid enough and make sure her men didn't get into trouble while they celebrated.

To say the mission was a success would be an understatement. The Hahn Kedar rep was safe, the merc base was nothing but a smoldering ruin, and the 212 hadn't lost a single man. Ash owed it to Shepard's brilliant plan, but he in turn said it was her leadership that won the day.

Once all of Ashley's men were present on the _Leipzig,_ Shepard explained their mission was to rescue Beatrice Prior from a pirate base on Uttuku. He then went into detail about how Williams would lead an assault from the South and provide distraction while Shepard would approach from the North by himself and infiltrate the base via its elevator shaft. Ash and a few of her men were skeptical, but they knew enough not to question an N7's plan.

During the day long period it took to reach the Mulla Kul System, most of the men focused on getting rack time and making sure their equipment was prepared. Ash had spent much of the time talking with Shepard in private, going over more minute details and suggesting alterations where she thought them applicable. Shepard took her criticisms in stride, actually willing to adhere to some of them. They also discussed the men of Ashley's unit, the strengths and weaknesses of each. Shepard offered her a few tips of squad makeup she hadn't thought of herself.

The lead up for the mission had taken much longer than expected. The shuttle was forced to drop off Ash's unit several kilometers South of the base in order to ensure the pirate's detection systems and anti-air defenses didn't pick them up. It did the same with Shepard to the north. So both parties spent several hours trekking to their objectives, ever alert for ambushes but thankfully unhindered. Ashley and her unit then spent another half hour making sure they were properly in position before Shepard's call came in.

The firefight was almost anti-climactic compared to how long it took to reach the base. Four of the soldiers kicked it off by sending rockets into the pirate's sniper nests and taking them out. Then Ashley and her men focused on laying down as much fire as they could on the men at the front gates, mostly with assault and sniper rifles.

Just as Shepard predicted, a large force of pirates gushed out of the front gate to face the intruders. However, Ashley and her men were too entrenched within the outcroppings of rock, and without sniper support the pirates couldn't make any of their shots hit their marks.

They'd been fighting for barely ten minutes before Shepard radioed in and informed them Prior was safe. Not seeing any point to keeping up the assault, Ashley ordered her men to fall back and out of the blast radius of the orbital bombardment that would eventually come down on the base.

They made out almost like bandits. The only casualties of note were Bahtia, who'd been winged in the arm, and Morley, whose pride was hurt more than anything when he fell and sprained his leg. That hadn't stopped either of them from stringing up their wounds in casts and celebrating with the rest of the company.

Upon making back to Arcturus, Hackett praised them all in person and allowed them to resume their now well-earned shore leave. The very first thing Brandson did was organize a night of drinking and partying as a reward for their first real op being such a success. Ashley had half a mind to invite Shepard, but the man had slipped away while Hackett was commending her.

And now here they all were, talking and singing far too loudly. The bar workers might have been upset at how rambunctious they were, but all was forgiven with how much alcohol they were buying. Ashley sat at the counter, laughing as Morley and Sanders did a horrible duet of We are the Champions by Queen. It warmed her heart to see her men this happy and carefree for once. They'd been short shafted by Alliance command so many times; they were making up for all the lost opportunities.

"Quite the rowdy bunch, aren't they?" the man sitting next to her asked.

Ash turned back to him, trying to remember his name. Ron something, maybe. He was a local and one of the bar regulars, who had sauntered up to Ashley and started chatting her up, probably thinking her an easy target. The guy was handsome enough, more so than what you usually found at a place like this. But he was over confident to a fault, and his cologne was a bit too much.

"Can you really blame them?" she replied, raising her voice over the sound of the music. "After all the work they've put in they deserve to let off a bit of steam."

"Oh believe me, I know everyone needs to take a breather once in a while," he quickly added. He put on his best Pretty Boy face and asked, "So how does a girl like you wind up in the military?"

Ash's brow raised in speculation. "What? You don't think I'm cut out to be a marine?"

He took a swig of his beer and shrugged. "I just mean a girl like you could be doing a lot of other things at this point. Not slogging through mud and rain with a bunch of jar heads."

Ash squared her shoulder, almost defiant. "I'll have you know my family has been military for as long as I can remember. I enlisted as soon as I turned eighteen because I support serving for a government that protects its citizens, even if they are loafers like you."

He held his hands up defensively. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I support the Alliance just as much as the next guy."

"Says the man who thinks I'm too feminine to be a soldier."

Sighing, he grabbed his beer and stood. "Look, this isn't going anywhere, so I'll just leave you alone." With that he walked off, probably going to prey upon the cute blonde in the corner that had been ogling him since he walked in.

_Smooth, Ash._ She shouldn't have been surprised. This was the reason she usually shied away from the club scene. Any man who tried talking to her always ended up criticizing her military background. How she deserved to have a _man_ take care of her, preferably while she's doing mundane house wife chores, not slogging it out with the other grunts.

And Ash would always bite back. She was too quick to jump to the conclusion that men were only trying to butter her up, get in her pants, and get the hell out of dodge as soon as they could. Of course that was usually their MO, but Ash hated being treated like some floozy, batting her eyes at strong men with big muscles.

So she chose to drown her abject self-loathing with another swig of her beer. Ash reminded herself yet again that she was here for her boys, not to indulge in a one night stand that'll just leave her feeling shittier in the morning.

"Ouch. Never knew you were such a man eater, Williams."

Ash started at the sound of that voice. She spun in her chair, and sure enough there stood Shepard, looking nothing like the steadfast commander she met a few days prior.

He looked… damn good, clad in a simple pair of blue jeans, a white T, and a jacket that looked as though it were real leather, not the crappy synthetic stuff. She noticed it had a red stripe running down the left arm, just like on his Onyx armor. The whole ensemble made Shepard look much more laid back but still did nothing to hide his amazing physique. Ash couldn't help but feel flustered, as she had decided to parade around in her standard blue BDU's.

"You saw that, did you?" she asked, mind drawing a blank on anything better to say.

"Oh, I did. And if you don't mind me saying so, it looked like you shattered that poor guy's heart." His trademark lackadaisical smile was firmly entrenched on his face, obviously feeling no sympathy for Ron Something. He gestured to the seat next to her. "May I?"

"Of course," she replied, turning somewhat to face him as he sat. "And for the record, commander, I've made a career of breaking young men's hearts throughout the galaxy."

He waved her off. "Enough with the 'commander' stuff. We're nowhere near on duty. If it's just you you and me, call me John."

Ashley flashed him a grin of her own. "If that's the case, then you just call me Ash."

His voice lowered several timbers. "It would be my genuine pleasure, Ash."

She tried telling herself it was the base of the music sending tingles down her spine.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here, John?" She over enunciated his name a bit, smitten with the novelty of being on a first name basis with Commander Shepard.

He laughed a bit and looked down bashfully, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. "Actually I first tried out a bar a few blocks down the way. I guess a couple regulars came in and started complaining about how they were ousted from their usual haunt because a bunch of 'no good loud mouth marines' were mucking up their bar.

"I got the nagging suspicion it might be the 212, so I decided to head here. And from what I can see, it looks like I was right."

"Wow. That's…" she looked for the right words.

"Mildly stalker-ish?"

"I was going to say sweet, but I think you may be on to something."

"Ha! Well, I'm here now, and I guarantee I'm a harder man to turn away than Pretty Boy over there. Besides, I wanted to talk to the marine that sniped the one pirate you guys missed with the rocket launcher."

Ashley winced. A powerful gust of wind had blown in just as the missiles were being launched. One had been pushed off course just enough to missed the Northwest tower altogether. Thinking fast, Ashley had pulled out her sniper rifle and lined up her sights on the pirate before he truly knew what was happening.

"Oh right, that. Look, Sanders had actually been on her mark but some bad luck got in in the way. Don't go too hard on her."

"Oh no! I don't care that the rocket missed," he replied emphatically, "I just wanted to buy a drink for the sniper that took out the pirate. That was a damn good shot."

"Really? In that case I'll take a light beer."

His eyes widened. "That was you?"

"Surprised?" She might have felt offended, but strangely enough she didn't, her Cheshire grin spread across her face.

"No! Like I said, that was a really good shot. I don't know if I could have pulled that off. Where'd you get so good with sniper rifles?"

Ash shrugged. "Most of our postings are colony defense details. That means lots of down time. So I took a lot of my off time and worked on sniping rocks from farther and farther away."

Nodding appreciatively, Shepard turned to the bar keep. "Two light beers."

As the man got the drinks, Ash quirked an eyebrow at Shepard. "Trying awfully hard to loosen me up, huh?"

"What? Oh, no! The second one's for me."

The eyebrow remained quirked.

"So I couldn't think of what I wanted and went with the first thing that came to mind. Sue me."

Ashley laughed as they took their bottles. Chinking their bottles together, Ashley and John took long droughts, relishing the mild burn of alcohol as it passed down their throats.

Shepard was like nothing Ashley expected. Where his service history painted him as a serious, calculating man, he was actually carefree and downright fun to be around. And it was because of this she couldn't push away the lingering doubt.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked as she put her bottle down.

"Of course, anything."

"Why did you actually choose me and my unit?"

He canted his head, his smiling falling just a bit. "I thought we already went over this. I don't care that your name is Williams."

"I don't mean that. I mean why were you willing to take a chance on someone you didn't even know?"

He looked away for a moment, contemplative. His voice was much more serious when he spoke next. "If there's anything I hate, its wasted potential. Knowing good people are languishing because they just haven't had a chance to prove themselves."

He fixed Ashley with a point stare that near took her breath away. "And I knew if I were in your position, I'd hate being constantly passed up because of events I had no control over. And remember that I read your file. I knew I could take a chance on you because you're the exact kind of person I'd want watching my back in a firefight. You've kept persevering in the Alliance even though you've basically been blacklisted. You're loyal to your men, to your superiors, and to your ideals. To me, all that means you deserve more recognition then you've been getting."

Ashley leaned back in her seat, completely at a loss for words of any kind. She already knew Shepard looked at her like an equal. But this? To know he held a woman he'd only known for a few days in such high regard was more than she could process at the moment. Never in her career had she met someone who so inherently believed in her, besides her family of course. And to be coming from John Fucking Shepard of all people? It was an honor in of itself just to be praised by a man like this.

"Wow," was all she could manage.

Shepard shrugged. "It's true. And Uttuku proved that to me. You're a better person than everyone sells you to be."

Ash had to look away. She couldn't let Shepard see the tears that threatened to spill over, and she had to cover her mouth with a hand to hold back grateful sobs. Forget the military; no one had ever talked to her like this period. She couldn't remember the last time someone spoke to like she was actually a person, not just an asset to be used.

Shepard leaned in and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, his voice softer. "Hey, you alright?"

She screwed her eyes shut and nodded vigorously a few times, something halfway between a sob and a laugh breaking through her hand. She turned back to him with bleary eyes. "I'm sorry, I just… I can't tell you the last time someone spoke to me like that."

He gave her a small smile. "I just like giving credit where credit is due."

She let out a quiet, more genuine laugh. "No, you don't get it. I mean you're the first person in literally years to talk to me like you actually give a damn about who I am. To treat me like I'm good enough to be soldier I want to be."

He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and in a voice devoid of any doubt, said, "You are that soldier."

Ashley looked away, simply enjoying the warmth of both his words and his touch.

"Now buck up, marine," he implored in a cheery voice, "From the looks of things Brandson wants to pound my face in."

Ashley craned her neck to look behind her. Sure enough, Brandson stood with some of the others, looking over at Shepard and Ashley like an overprotective older brother, wary of Shepard doing something to hurt his sister.

She flashed him a smile without having to fake it and sent him a small wave. Brandson still looked skeptical, but gave an assenting nod and turned back to his group.

"Don't worry about Tommy," Ash said, turning back to Shepard, "He's the oldest of our group and tends to act like a dad to everyone."

"I'll be certain not to piss him off." He turned back to her with a more serious expression. "But are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, really. Better, maybe."

"Good." He leaned back again, but not as far away as before, sporting a large grin while he took a swig of his beer.

Putting it back down, he said, "Break not, O woman's heart, but still endure. Break not for thou art royal, and endure."

The words clicked in Ashley's head and her eyes lit up. "Remembering all the beauty of that star, which shone so close beside Thee that ye made, one light altogether, but had past and leaves, the crown a lonely splendor."

Shepard's eyes widened in surprise. "You know Tennyson?"

"Just because I can drill you between the eyes at a hundred meters doesn't mean I can't like sensitive stuff." Ash leaned in conspiratorially. "Just don't go spreading it around. I've spent too much time making my men think I'm a stone cold bitch."

He made a cross over his heart. "Your secret is safe with me. So, which of his is your favorite?"

Ash thought a moment, but the answer was obvious. "Ulysses without a doubt. It was always my dad's favorite."

"I'm guessing he was the one who beat some culture into you?"

"Shut up!" she said, playfully shoving him. "But yeah, I owe a lot of who I am to him. He had me record myself reading Ulysses whenever he shipped out. He must have had at least a dozen different copies by the time he retired."

"Wow. And he still likes listening to them after all these years?"

Ashley's smile turned melancholy. "I hope so. I read it to his grave whenever I'm home."

Shepard looked away, shame clear on his face. "Sorry," he said quietly, "I know what it's like to lose a father."

"Thanks, and it's alright. That wound healed years ago. And I like to think he'd be proud of who I became."

Shepard let out a small laugh and turned back to her, some of his humor returning. "Believe me; any father would be proud of you."

"Sweet talker."

"I try."

Ashley laughed a bit, but the incredulity of the whole situation struck and she couldn't hold back a fit of giggles.

Shepard quirked an eyebrow. "What? It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"I'm sorry, but you're just like nothing I expected."

"Yes, we've gone over how weird I am."

Ash rolled her eyes. "You know that's not what I meant."

"So what do you mean?"

"I mean that I expected you to be a stone cold bastard who didn't give a damn about grunts like me. You're…" She trailed off, gesturing to his personage with her hand.

"Charming? Debonair? Devilishly good looking?"

"Adorably bumbling," she supplied.

"Wow. Nice to know you hold me in the same regard as a Beanie Baby."

Ash laughed. "You know what I mean. You're fun, easygoing, not acting like every word you utter is calculated." She made a show of roving her eyes over his body, like a lioness inspecting its kill. "Though I must admit Alliance propaganda doesn't come near close enough to describing how cute you are."

He smirked and struck a suggestive pose on his chair. "Well, there are some reputations I like living up to."

They lasted a mere moment before peeling over in laughter. Ashley may have had a few beers in her, but Shepard… _John's_ presence was far more intoxicating. With how close they were she could feel his warm breath on her face. She could smell the alcohol, but was far more enraptured with his own scent, a mix of some mild cologne and his own heady musk. His whole body radiated comforting warmth that one just wanted to fall asleep in.

There Ash went again thinking of him as being more than a friend or a commander, but she felt no need to curtail her thoughts. Not with how his muscles bulged under his clothes, or how his eyes looked at her with utter compassion, or how firm his lips looked-

Her eyes shot wide when she felt those lips against her own. A strong hand came up to caress her neck and a moan escaped her, Ashley's eyes drifting closed. She brought up a hand to rest on his shoulder, maybe to push him away, but instead she gripped his jacket with a fiery intensity that shot down to the warmth pooling in her stomach.

After a moment they pulled away, slowly, still in mild shock from what they had just done. Ashley stared at him wide eyed, beseeching him for any kind of explanation.

John looked down, that adorably bashful smile back in place. "I'm sorry; I let myself get carried away. We were both laughing, you looked so beautiful, and I figured I'd take a chan-"

She shut him up by kissing him back.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Notes:<em>

_First of all, I had intended to put this with the first chapter, but the excitement of posting my fist ever fanfiction chapter got the better of me and I blanked on adding in an Author's Note. _

_That being said, allow me to fully say hello! I have been a fan of fanfiction for quite some time and a fan of Mass Effect for far longer. So I finally decided that I'd had enough of reading and went ahead and posted Soldiers. _

_Soldiers was born out of my undying love for Ashley's character and the frustration of thinking that she never got the respect she deserved throughout the series. At the moment I only have about five chapters planned out, the two I've already posted, one following the events of this chapter, and two taking place during the beginning of ME1. After that I have a bunch of loosely connected ideas but no real plan. Also, keep in mind the focus of this story is Ashley and Shepard's relationship, how they interact with each other, and how they interact with the other characters of the series. It will steer away from recounting the missions in detail unless they are pertinent to the story._

_I don't have a clear idea of what exactly constitutes as a large amount of internet traffic. However, I must say the first chapter has been getting more traction than I expected. Along that train of thought, I want to give a shout out to united88, Colonel Hatake, and Shepard112! Your reviews, while short, are much more encouraging than you might think. And thank you to everyone else who has already followed, favorited, or at least viewed this story. Again, the attention has been more than I expected, and I hope to please you with further chapters. So please feel free to review, whether it be to point out a spelling error or submit an idea you think might work with the story._

_P.S. At this point I am not looking for a Beta reader. If anything I still need to get a better idea of how Beta Reading works on this site exactly. _

_P.S.S. Does anyone know how to make those grey lines other authors use to break up sections of their stories? The real thin gray ones that cross the entire page. I'm not sure if it's a fanfiction feature or something I can do myself in Word. _

_P.S.S.S. The poem Shepard and Ashley recite words from is Dedication by Alfred Tennyson. I must admit I'm not big into poetry and picked a poem that seemed to fit the situation based a cursory read through. _

_P.S.S.S.S. I'm sorry about the really long Author's Note! I just had a lot of stuff to get off my chest. For future chapters I promise that if I need to put in another Author's Note it will be much shorter. _


	3. Chapter 3 - One Day More

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Soldiers Chapter 3 – One Day More

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><p>Ashley woke up from one of the best naps she'd had in a long time. Blearily opening her eyes, she deduced she had somehow made it back to her motel room from the bar last night, and the clock on the bedside table read a quarter after nine in the morning.<p>

Yawning, she stretched out her limbs, working out the knots that had formed overnight. She brought a hand up to her head to brush away the errant strands of hair from her face. That she wore no clothes under the sheets and there was a pleasant ache coming from her lap attested to the deplorable acts she got up to last night, and a lazy smile wormed its way across her face. She took a moment to fully recall what had happened, and her blood ran cold.

Lieutenant Commander John Shepard, N7, Survivor of Akuze, and all around Alliance hero, had kissed her.

And she had kissed him back.

The rest passed by in a sort of haze, but it followed the general story of Ashley taking John back to her motel room (all the while vigorously kissing and groping each other in the skycar on the way their), shoving him on her bed, and shredding away whatever innocence the two of them had left.

Shepard certainly wasn't the first man Ash had ever slept with, but she never remembered any of her other trysts being that _spectacular._ They'd been in the throes of passion for hours, stopping only when their bodies were well and truly exhausted.

And now here was Ashley, sitting in a bed that positively reeked of her and John's combined scents.

Alone.

Looking to the other side of the bed she could make out the depression where he had fallen asleep. But now the man was gone, along with all his clothes and any other evidence indicating he might have been there.

Gingerly, Ash sat up straight and draped her legs over the side of the bed, dragging the bed sheet with her. Resting her elbows on her knees, she hung her head in her hands.

Of course he was gone. Just like the other men she'd indulged herself with. Just like Ash when she couldn't stand to say goodbye to the other men before they awoke. This was just how this kind of thing worked. Had she'd actually been expecting it to be different?

_But John was different._

She hated how goddamn hopeful that thought sounded. Sure, he'd been different enough. A cut above the usual crop. Different enough to work past Ash's defenses and get him what he wanted. He may have been Commander Shepard, but John was human just like the rest of them. He wanted the same things, he was just craftier at getting them.

Ash crossed her arms over her legs. Despite that John was gone and Ash felt hollow inside right now, last night she'd had a lot more fun than she had in a long time. So if anything positive could be taken away from the situation, it was for one night, she felt as though someone actually cared enough about her to make her feel like a person again.

So engrossed in her self-wallowing, Ash almost missed the ping alerting her that her door was being unlocked. Gripped with sudden panic, Ash simultaneously gripped the bed sheet to her chest to cover her body while reaching for the pistol she had fastened to the back of her night stand.

Her fingers wrapped around the handle just as the intruder passed through the doorway, and Ashley's jaw dropped.

There stood John Shepard, largely unchanged from the prior night, from the leather jacket to the carefree smile entrenched firmly on his face. The only differences were that John held her room key and a bag full of something with an enticing aroma in his hands. Ash breathed a sigh of relief and withdrew her hand from the firearm.

"Good morning," he said in a chipper voice. "I was wondering if you'd be awake when I got back. Uh, your motel doesn't have a breakfast buffet, so I stopped at a fast food place and picked up a few sandwiches." He jostled the bag in his hand, as if providing evidence to make Ash believe him.

He tossed the key card onto the night stand as he sat down next to her. "I hope you don't mind I appropriated your key. I needed some way to get back in."

"Oh, no, you're fine." Dazed, she took the egg and sausage sandwich he offered her in the hand that wasn't holding up the bed sheet. But instead of eating, she stared first at the sandwich and then at Shepard, the pair lapsing into awkward silence.

Foregoing his own breakfast and putting the bag on the floor, John bumped her shoulder with his own. "You okay? You're quiet."

"I'm fine," she answered a bit too quickly, "Just, confused I guess."

He canted his head, clearly not understanding.

_Don't ask. Don't ask don't ask don't ask!_

"What are you still doing here?"

_Shit._

John drew back, a hurt expression crossing his face. "Do you not want me here?" he asked slowly.

"No!" She dropped the sandwich and reached out to grip his shoulder, as if to keep him planted if he planned to walk away at any moment. "I mean, you weren't here when I woke up, so I figured you'd… left."

Ash immediately regretted voicing her concerns, as John frowned at her in consternation. "Just what kind of man do you take me for?" he asked, put out.

"Oh god." Ash buried her face in her free hand, unable to look at John from shame. "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. You weren't here and I guess I freaked. Shit, I wasn't trying to call you some asshole that just walks out on women."

To her surprise, John actually sidled up closer and looped an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, I didn't mean what I said either," he implored in a soft voice. "Come here." He pulled her to his chest and reached his other arm around to massage her bare back. Ash rested her head in the crook of his neck and sighed, reveling in the warmth of his touch, how his hand erased any tension it found on her back. It was scary just how safe she felt, wrapped by powerful arms that could easily crush her but chose instead to cradle her.

"Sorry for calling you shallow," she mumbled.

She felt John's shoulders lift up in a shrug. "Well I did leave; I'm not surprised you jumped to that conclusion. But don't worry about it. All that that matters is we're both here now."

They stayed like that for a few moments, basking in its serenity, Ashley letting out small moans whenever John found a sensitive part of her back. Ashley listened to his heart, thumping strongly within his chest. The contented silence was broken when John chuckled atop her head.

"What?" she asked.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Nothing."

"Come on, what is it?"

John sighed and rested his chin in her hair, and his arm stopped its ministrations, opting to curl around her waist. "It's just, I might have lied a bit last night." Skeptical, Ashley pulled her head away to look him in the eye. That damn bashful smile was back in place. "Well, lie of omission if anything."

"Is this part where you tell me you're actually Shepard's body double?"

"No! Though I don't think the galaxy could handle two faces as beautiful as this." Ash rolled her eyes, and John continued. "The truth is when I heard the 212 was nearby, I headed to your bar hoping… you would be there."

Ash pulled back a bit, giving him an incredulous stare. "Me?"

"Well, yeah. On the way back to Arcturus I thought a lot about you while I was filling out my report. About our conversations from a few days ago, how well you led your men, and about how I might be able to boost your credibility with Alliance officials. The thing is, after we got back and we went our separate ways, I didn't stop thinking about you. And I noticed my thoughts about you weren't entirely… well, let's say professional.

"So I figured I'd track you down and get to know you, without the mission or rank hovering over us. Try and understand just what it was that got you lodged in my head." He gestured around the room with one hand. "I never expected this to be the outcome when I walked into that bar," he returned the hand to her waste and leaned his forehead against her own, his smile matching hers, "but I can't say I'm entirely displeased."

Ashley smirked. "Well, who knew you could turn Commander Shepard into such a love sick puppy with a few choice compliments?"

"Yeah, yeah. Rub it in while I'm pouring my heart out." If John actually felt offended, it was completely undermined by the large grin on his face.

"Oh suck it up, marine. I don't go out with whiners." Ashley lifted her free hand to caress the side of his face, her thumb massaging his cheek. Her voice turned serious. "But seriously, thank you. That might be the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"Even if it is mildly stalker-ish?" he joked.

"I certainly wouldn't say _mild,_ but you're cute enough to make up for it."

Ash loved the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed. Emboldened, she leaned in and planted a quick kiss on his lips. However, one quick kiss led to one long one, and that in turn led to longer, deeper kisses. Ashley closed her eyes and looped her other hand around his neck, reveling in the sensations he gave her.

Slowly, John turned their bodies. Deliberately but gingerly, he starting lowering Ash's body back to the bed, not once breaking the contact of their lips.

"Mmmm!" came her muffled cry.

John immediately pulled back, concerned he'd done something to hurt her. "Are you okay?"

To his relief Ash reeled her head back and laughed. "You made me lie down on the sandwich."

Chuckling himself, John fished the thankfully still wrapped food out from under her back and tossed it aside. He then moved to resume their activities, but a firm hand on his chest kept him at bay.

In response to his confused stare, Ashley said, "Despite how much I'd love to go another round, I feel like I can barely walk as is." John smirked, smugly proud of himself, but relented and let her sit up. "Besides," she continued, "you need to go take a shower. You still smell from last night."

He chuckled. "Yes mamn." As he stood up, Ash also asked him to get her shirt, which he scooped up off the ground and tossed to her. Before passing into the bathroom, John paused in the doorframe and turned back to Ashley, fixing her with a quizzical stare. "You know, we could be very economical right now."

She quirked an eyebrow, already guessing where this was going. "Yeah? And how's that?"

He leaned against the doorframe, trying (keyword) to act nonchalant. "Well you know how Arcturus administrators are constantly telling us to conserve water where we can. We could potentially cut our water usage in half by showering together." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oooh, so you want another chance to see what I have to offer?" Ashley replied with a mischievous grin. Faster that John expected, Ash grabbed a pillow and flung it at his face. He caught it, but by the time he removed it from his field of vision Ash was already fitting the hem of her shirt around her waist, effectively covering her upper torso. "Well that's something you have to earn, lover boy."

Shaking his head and chuckling, John dropped the pillow and entered the bath, closing the door behind him. After a moment Ash heard the sound of running water, so she made to get up and started gathering the rest of her clothes off the floor. She put her undershorts back on and fished out a large sweater from her dresser, markedly colder now she was out of the warm embrace of both the bed and John's arms.

The rumble from her stomach reminded Ash she had yet to eat anything today, so she picked up the sandwich John tossed aside before and unwrapped it. _A bit flattened, but still good._ She was on her third bite when John called out from the shower.

"So how long are you guys still on shore leave?"

"We've still got about a week and a half before our new orders come in!" she called back. In return for interrupting the 212's shore leave, Hackett had graciously extended their leave period by a few days. "What about you?"

"Ah, my CO wants me back on the _Tokyo_ within the next few days, so I have to ship out tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh." Ash replied, not wondering if her voice was loud enough for Shepard to hear. She let herself sink back onto the bed, the hollow feeling already returning to her chest. After what happened last night and the confessions they went through this morning, she'd been hoping to spend more time with John. Maybe figure just what it was they were.

Possibly sensing her disappointment, John called back, "But I don't have anything on my agenda today! Maybe you and I could do something together?"

Despite herself, Ash felt a smile grace her lips. "Only one day of shore leave and you choose to spend it with some lowly grunt?"

A moment's pause. "No. But I'd sure as hell spend it with Ashley Williams. Besides, I'd be loath to let either of us spend Valentine's Day alone."

That made Ash pause while she crumpled up the wrapper of her finished sandwich. "What?"

"It's Valentine's Day!" John yelled back emphatically.

Confused, Ash pulled out her Omni Tool to check the date while she shot the wrapper into her waste bin. Sure enough, it read February 14th, the date slotted this year to host the celebration of Saint Valentine. "So it is," she muttered to herself.

Ash heard the water shut off. "So what do you say?" John continued, his voice lowered now that the water wasn't muffling him. "Let this old N7 show a pretty girl a good time?"

Ash considered for a moment while she got a fresh set of clothes from her dresser. "I hope you realize I'm absolutely terrible when it comes to romance."

"I'm not saying we'd have to buy fancy get ups and have dinner at the most expensive restaurant on Arcturus." Ash heard the door open, and she turned to see John walk out clad in his jeans and T-shirt, running a towel over his head. "How often have you been to Arcturus?" he asked her.

Ash shrugged. "Including now, maybe four times. And I've never had much time for sightseeing."

John grinned. "Then let me give you a tour around the station. Show you a bunch of the hot spots most tourists don't know about."

In response, Ashley sidled closer, placed a hand on his chest, and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "I think I'd like that," she whispered in his ear, rewarded by the shiver sent down his body and the shaky breath he let out. Ash made to move past him and toward the bathroom, but just before he was out of reach, she sent a hand out to give him a swift smack on his ass.

John jumped. "Hey!" He turned about and made to grab her, but the laughing Ashley dodged his grasp and dove into the safety of the bathroom.

* * *

><p>Once Ashley was cleaned and clothed, opting to go out in a light blue blouse and a pair of grey jeans, she followed John out of the motel and let him take the lead. She might have teased him for wearing the same outfit as yesterday, but they had went back to her place, so John didn't really have any other options. Besides, his outfit was a great view to look at, so Ash couldn't complain. Though John did tease her about keeping her hair up in a bun. He suggested she let her hair down, since today was supposed to be a carefree one. Ash decided to meet him half way and tied her hair up in a simple pony tail that fell down behind her neck.<p>

They started out in the commercial district, Shepard giving tidbits of history about Arcturus, the businesses that began here, and some of the work that went into making the whole thing life sustaining. He described what it was like as a teenager growing up here, or on the various ships where his parents were posted. Ash lamented that he spent his childhood jumping from ship to station to ship, never being allowed to actually live groundside and experience planet side life. John shrugged off her concerns, stating that whenever he went groundside for training or missions it was always either raining, snowing, hailing, humid as hell, or erupting. The last one was a mission where a pirate base he was doing recon on was inadvertently built atop an active caldera. "Easiest mission I've ever completed!" he said.

Ash could relate, though instead of ships it was different colonies her family kept jumping between, based on where her father was posted. John commented at least Ash had her mother and three sisters to keep company. Ash confessed that with her father away so often, she acted as a sort of father figure for her younger sisters, and that in turn led to years of tension between her and eldest sister Sarah. When John asked if they were still not talking to each other, Ash recounted the tale of how she had taken emergency leave to help Sarah deal with an ex-boyfriend, but her concerns were unfounded when Sarah broke the boy's nose when he tried to hit her. After that the two bonded, and Ash and her sister still stayed in contact no matter where Ashley was posted.

Despite all of that, John still wished he had a brother or sister growing up. Someone to lean on after his father passed and when his mother was too busy working. Ash reminded him that taking care of younger siblings was always a lot of work, stating how her father would always say he felt more outnumbered at home than on a battlefield.

Around noon, John led Ash into a more isolated part of the station, where he showed her his favorite pizza joint. Ash was skeptical at first, hardly one to call pizza a romantic meal, but she soon realized why John adored it so. Apparently the owner had family in one of the colonies, who managed a goat farm. So instead of using the cheap, synthetic cheese most franchises used nowadays, the man imported goat cheese from his family. And due to the out-of-the-way position of the restaurant and some creative loophole managing, he got the cheese largely tax free, so he could still sell his pizza at low prices.

When Ashley asked John how he found this gem, he bashfully answered that he'd woken up in the alley after a long night of drinking with a couple friends. Hung over beyond all relief, he stumbled into the first open doorway. Rather than berate John, the owner allowed him an out of the way booth and supplied head ache pills while the alcohol wore off. Grateful, John ordered the most expensive pizza they had, and where he expected another run of the mill slice, John fell in love. Like clockwork whenever John had enough time to walk around Arcturus, he'd visit his favorite pizza joint at least once.

Ash ordered two slices with chicken and green pepper, and could honestly say it was the best slice of pizza she had ever eaten. While they ate, Ashley recounted her time spent training when she first enlisted with the military, from the basic training in Brazil, to zero-G training on one of Earth's orbital stations, to combat scenarios performed on Saturn's moon Titan. John and Ash roared with laughter when they realized they'd both had Gunnery Chief Ellison as their training instructor. They remembered the man and his penchant for abnormal fraises fondly.

Leaving the pizza parlor, they traded funny experiences they had in basic. John remembered the time he and his friends snuck into the local zoo, and were promptly chased out when the gorillas somehow managed to break free of their pen. Ash countered with the time a few other recruits decided to play a prank on her by swapping out her normal blue armor with a gaudy set of pink and white Phoenix armor. Rather than hide in shame or rebound on the pranksters in anger, Ash wore the suit with pride to live fire accuracy training. That day forward, Ash kept the armor as her good luck charm, as she had scored a 100% accuracy rating at all ranges. The closest man behind her scored 83%.

The entirety of Ashley's service record could be summed up in two and a half sentences, so John took the lead and described his tenure with ICT. Though he could look back on it now and laugh, at the time it was absolute hell. ICT pushed applicants to their breaking points and told them to keep going. There was a reason most recruits dropped during N1, and fatalities during training were not uncommon. While it was without a doubt the hardest thing he had ever done, John persevered, continuing on with the training even when instructors told him there was no shame in backing down. His graduation day was one of the proudest moments of his life; with his mentor Anderson positively beaming. It was also the only day he had seen his mother cry, but thankfully with tears of happiness.

Akuze was only mentioned in passing. A footnote that allowed him to Segway to his service history. Ashley couldn't possibly imagine the pain he went through that day, but she knew enough dredging up memories like that would only lead to ruin. So she didn't mention it, allowing John to continue speaking while they stopped to buy drinks from a street vendor.

He went on to describe some of his favorite ops in detail. When Ashley voiced her concerns about a lot of them not being privy to open discussion, John waved off her concerns, stating, "Censoring gold like this is a crime to screen writers everywhere. Besides, I'm still leaving out the important info, like names and places."

John told of how he'd been among the first wave of marines who responded to the mass pirate attack on Elysium. Somehow, a soldier on shore leave had managed to rally the planet's remaining defense force to keep the Batarians out of the city long enough for the Alliance to come in with backup. John wished he could have met the man himself, but he had died while defending a breach in the city's defenses singlehandedly. Last John heard, the man had been posthumously awarded the Star of Terra.

Not wanting to dampen their mood, he moved on to other missions with happier outcomes. One of his favorites was the time he was doing undercover work on Illium, and accidentally got roped into breaking up an underground ring of Hanar prostitutes (_Morley is going to freak!_ Ash thought to herself).

After that they'd lapsed into idle chatter, not talking about anything particularly important, but talking for the sake of hearing each other. Ash could not remember having laughed and smiled so much in one day. So much so that her face actually started to hurt. But one glance at John and his stupid grin and she couldn't help herself.

They discussed Tennyson, Hemmingway, Whitman, and countless other writers who wrote poems they appreciated. For a while they played a game where one would recite a few lines from a poem, and the other had to guess the title.

Somehow the topic of religion came up, and Ash could feel the air become heavier around them the slightest bit. Religions in general had lost a lot of clout in the past few decades, what with the discovery of alien life supposedly not within God's plan. Ash was always nervous to confess she believed in Unitarianism, wary of how people might treat her differently. Shepard took her confession in stride, though, stating firmly that it was everyone's right to choose what they believed in and how he'd fight to the end to defend that right. But when Ashley asked if he believed in anything, his eyes took on a faraway look. John said he'd been raised Catholic, but had since forgone religion of any kind.

Willing to let a sleeping dog lie, Ash suggested they sit down and have dinner, as it was getting later in the day. By the time they found the right place, fancy but not too upscale, they'd nearly walked a full circuit around the circular station. Once seated, John impressed her with a surprisingly large amount of knowledge about different wines. He tried sweet talking her into a quick wine tasting event they'd passed by earlier, but Ash informed him he was barking up the wrong tree. She'd always been more of a whiskey girl.

Much of the meal passed in silence, but the pair kept stealing quick glances and smiles across the table. Ash was sad to note her parmesan chicken was made with synthetic cheese, but it was still good nonetheless. She voiced her concerns to John, claiming he'd spoiled her for food everywhere. The man had simply laughed in response.

After dinner they continued walking around, this time foregoing conversation and simply enjoying the companionable silence. Ash walked on John's left, her right hand intertwined with his left, and her head resting on his shoulder.

"Have you seen the park?" he asked out of the blue.

Ash picked her head up to look at him. "This place has a park?"

John smiled. "I think that's a 'no'. Come on, I'll show you." He led her by the hand to the outer edge of the station. Within a few minutes, Ash could see why John would remember this park specifically. It was far larger than Ash expected, and she marveled at how a patch of green life like this could sustain itself on a station consisting of little more than steel and glass. It was predominated by evergreen trees, and the spaces between them were filled with bushes of more species of flowers that Ashley could count. Citizens milled about the various paths through the greenery, talking or admiring the plant life. Through the tree line she could see a vast amount of stars thanks to a large window on the side of the station. It almost gave the effect of a forest under a starry night sky back on Earth.

"Beautiful." Ash eventually muttered.

John's grin only widened. "I thought you might like this." He glanced upward, a shifty look in his eye. "Although this isn't exactly what I wanted to show you."

Before Ash could ask what he meant, John was already leading off to the side of the park. Stopping at a door that read 'Staff and Workers Only', John typed in a code and the door opened for them.

"And you know the code to get in here, why?" Ash asked as she followed him inside.

"I know a guy." John replied as he started to ascend a ladder. "It's up here."

Skeptical, Ashley followed him up the ladder. They'd climbed in silence for a few minutes, Ash wondering just how high they were going. Once John made it to the top he turned back to help her cross the threshold. He made to open up a door close to them, but seemed to think better of it and turned back to Ash.

"Close your eyes," he told her in a surprisingly serious voice.

Wary, Ash did as she was told, but not without adding, "You know, I'm pretty sure this is one of those situations my sex-ed teacher kept telling me to stay away from."

She heard him laugh and the sound of a door opening. "Just trust me." She felt him take her hand and allowed herself to be pulled forward. The creak of metal whenever she put a foot down did not assuage her anxiety. Her free hand accidentally brushed something, and reaching out to grab it she realized it was a guard rail, like you'd find on a catwalk. She noted she could still smell the earthy scents of Arcturus's mini forest.

"John Shepard, just where exactly are you taking me?" she asked with a nervous chuckle.

"You'll see." After a few more steps they finally stopped. John let go of her hand and angled her body so that she was facing a certain direction. Whispering, he said, "Alright. Open your eyes."

Ash did so and immediately gasped. Stretching out before was what looked to be the entire cosmos. To the left was the Arcturus star, and to the right she could make out the system's mass relay. And everything in between was up filled up with more stars that Ash could possibly count. Looking up she could see the window curved upward, so one could see even more of the sky. And looking down she found they were on a catwalk overlooking the park.

"Oh my God," was all she could manage. The whole view was something beyond beauty. From this spot she could make out star clusters, gas formations, the outline of the Milky Way. Space itself might be pitch black, but all the stars and planets within it made for a kaleidoscope of colors, from motes of red and orange to splashes of blue and green. It felt like Ash hadn't looked up at the sky in a long time, and she'd forgotten the majesty it holds.

"Quite the view, isn't it?" John asked her.

Ash tore her gaze away from the expanse of colors and focused on the man leaning on the railing next to her. John had a far off look to eyes again, like he was trying to categorize every minute detail of the picture before him. Ash noted just how utterly at peace he looked. Sure, he'd been relaxed throughout the day, but John always held himself at attention with some amount of authority. Now, here John Shepard stood. Not the commander and not the survivor of Akuze. Just a man finding peace where he could.

"You take all the girls you like here?" she asked playfully.

John let out a quiet laugh. "Only the pretty ones." Ash chuckled, and John continued. "But for me, this has always been more cathartic than anything. Coming up here and looking at all of this, it helps me remember."

"Remember what?"

"I don't know really. Seeing a galaxy this big, it reminds me that there are boundless opportunities out there. Opportunities for some run of the mill military brat to go out and do something amazing. To become something bigger than himself and leave a mark on history."

Ash knew exactly what he meant. Even from a young age John Shepard could probably never stand to just fade into the background. He was a man who wanted to experience life, not view it through a lens.

She leaned on the railing next to him, leaning her shoulder against his own. "I completely understand where you're coming from. Only, for me, it was always sort of a means of escape. The idea that I could travel to someplace new, where I could find a fresh start and just help those who need it."

John nodded, finding her ideology respectable. The two stood there for a while, soaking up the view. John pointed out a few constellations astronomers of Arcturus deemed noteworthy.

"You come here a lot, don't you?" Ashley eventually asked him.

He nodded once more. "It's why I always check into the Marriott Hotel a few blocks away. It's the closest hotel to the park, so I can come here when I want and it won't interfere with my schedule too badly."

Ash turned to face him with a smirk. "Oh, so you mean you've been angling for us to spend the night in _your_ place tonight, huh?"

John turn to her with a perplexed face, before his eyes widened in realization. "Oh! No, I didn't mean… well, I was going to offer… we don't have _do_ anything… I just…" He turned away, his face bright red. "Yeah," he finished lamely.

Ashley instantly became worried, foregoing her teasing manor. John Shepard was not a man so easily reduced to stumbling over his words. Something was definitely wrong.

She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and spoke with a softer voice. "Hey, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

John shook his head. "No, believe me, this isn't your fault. It's… my own problems. I don't want to trouble you with them."

"John, please. Just talk to me. I can't help if you don't let me."

He glanced at her sidelong before screwing his eyes shut. He gripped the railing in front of him with such intensity Ash saw his knuckles go white. "I didn't have any nightmares last night," he blurted out.

Ashley's brow furrowed. "I don't understand."

John took a deep breath before he continued. "You're the first person I've slept with in… well, years."

Somewhere in her head, Ashley connected the unspoken dots. "You mean since Akuze." It wasn't a question.

John nodded. "A few months afterwards the psychologists cleared me for active duty again, but… the nightmares never stopped. The images of my men blaming me for letting them die. Of the fires, and the Maws, and the stench of death and… and…"

By now quiet sobs began to wrack his body. Ashley moved closer and moved her hand to rub his back, trying to console him. "It's alright. We don't have to talk about this."

"No." His eyes opened then, staring out into the view of space with a steely determination. "No, I need to say this."

Ash stayed quiet, letting him work up his resolve. He needed to talk this out, and by God she would listen.

"They prescribed a medication to suppress dreams, but… I never wanted to trade nightmares for an addiction to pills. Sometimes they wouldn't come back if I pushed my body to utter exhaustion, or if I got completely shitfaced with booze. But even when those did work I never felt better about myself.

"But last night felt like the first time I'd been able to sleep in peace in _centuries._ And all I'd done was let one of the most amazing women I've ever met take me to bed." He finished with a shaky laugh, incredulous at the whole situation.

Ash knew what he was trying to say. That where psychology, medicine, and self-medicating failed, simply spending a night with her had assuaged the demons from his past from haunting him, at least for one night. She didn't know if she entirely believed it, but John did, and if she could do anything to alleviate the burdens he carried, she would do so without hesitation.

Gingerly, she placed her hands on either side of his face and made him look at her. In his deep blue eyes, desperately trying not spill tears, she could see all the terrors he experienced that he kept hidden from the outside world. Ash could see that beneath his persona of charm and authority, he was a broken man who had see far too much death for one soul to bear.

But beyond that, she also saw his strength. How despite all the death he's seen, he still finds the courage to persevere and keep going. His fortitude and willingness to do the right thing, no matter how great the sacrifice.

Ashley did not see Commander Shepard, the staunch Alliance hero. Nor did she see a man broken by the things he had been forced to endure. Ashley saw John Shepard, a man who found the will to continue and fight for that which matters to him.

She leaned forward and connected her lips with his own, both of their eyes drifting closed. John's hands found her waist. It was a kiss not deep and full of lust. Rather, it was soft, and tender. Ashley tried to will a thousand different emotions through the connection. To prove she didn't think John was a broken man, but that he was good, and he was so much more than the events of his past. That at least one person saw past the suffering and pain and cared for him as the person he was.

They pull away after a moment, and Ashley looks back into his eyes. She knows there are connections between them, some she doesn't completely understand. But what she does know is that John Shepard has changed her, and she will never be able to forget him or what he has done for her.

Slowly, she pulls away, and takes his hand to lead him back to the service ladder. "Come on," she implores quietly.

John goes along easily, a small smile gracing his features. "Where are we going?"

She smiles back at him, putting as much affection into it as one face can hold. "Well, from what it sounds like, there's a big comfy bed waiting with our names on it."

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><p><em>Author's Notes:<em>

_So, that turned out to be a lot longer than I originally planned. So much so that I actually cut this into two chapters. The second part should be up in a few days. _

_A quick shout out to those who have read, favorited, followed, and reviewed this story. It all means a lot to me._

_And a super big thank you to Ravereli for helping me figure out how to use Divider Lines! You rock!_

_Just to be clear, I was raised Catholic, but I completely support everyone's right to their own decision as to what they believe in. I'm portraying Ashley as a Unitarian because a friend once described the religion as, "Believe in God, be nice to everyone, make your own choices, and you're cool." _


	4. Chapter 4 - Parting Ways

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Soldiers Chapter 4 – Parting Ways

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><p>Around six thirty in the morning, John Shepard awoke with a smile on his face. And for the first time in years, it is due to his own predisposition for waking up at early hours.<p>

Not the memories of Thresher Maws bursting out from underground. Not the faces of his long dead team mates trying to pull him into their unmarked graves. And not the mile high flames come to melt the flesh from his bones.

No, that night John had dreamt of walking the stars, hand in hand with a brown eyed goddess, and he woke up when he was good and ready.

He lay there for a few minutes, in the dim of his hotel room, simply resting before his day had to truly begin. He went through some of his most recent and earliest memories, and he can't remember a time where he has been this… happy. Graduation day for N Training, he remembered being proud and thankful that he's made it through, and anxious for what came next. Or his eighth birthday, when his mother had been able to get off duty and pay a surprise visit to his party, John was full of excitement and energy.

On both those occasions and more John had felt happiness, but he'd never experienced it quite like this. This feeling of everything just being right with the world, and John could finally be allowed to sit back and relax with that which he cared for. A feeling of elation and freedom, like some door long hidden away burst open, letting in a cleansing light to chase away the shadows within him.

A small sigh sounds to his right, and John looks over and finds that which helped him find this happiness, and he feels a smile spread across his face at seeing her.

Ashley Williams, still clad in her blue blouse and undershorts, lies curled into his side, an arm draped over his bare stomach. She uses his chest as a pillow, and her hair splays out in odd directions. With is right arm curled protectively around her shoulders, he reaches the left over to brush away a few errant strands of hair from her face, revealing a small smile formed from pleasant dreams. He likes how she looks with her hair down. Ash's features appear softer somehow, like she hasn't spent years in the military. It makes her look more… approachable, maybe.

John immediately nixed that idea. More approachable meant more men would have the desire to hit on her, and the thought of Ashley flirting with other men leaves a sour feeling in his gut.

John sighed. He looks at this woman and he knows he's fallen for her. Hard. They'd met barely a week ago and yet John feels like he has known Ashley Williams his whole life. She is strong, smart, beautiful, confident.

And braver than John thinks himself to be. Shepard was already a respected name among the Alliance before John enlisted. He had always been expected to go on and do great things. But the Williams named had been dragged through the mud before Ashley was ever born. But she still enlisted, despite all the naysayers trying to keep her back. She knew no one would give her sympathy or an offer of help, but still she kept going, working herself to the bone to prove she could be better than what others believed her to be. Ash had called it a special kind of stubborn unique to being a Williams. John called it a special kind of perseverance.

Truth be told John was on the brink of having a heart attack when he realized he kissed Ashley in that bar two nights ago. He hadn't been in a situation like that in years, just having a conversation with a woman that wasn't about protocols or mission reports or squad tactics. He didn't know where all his cheesy lines came from, but talking and laughing with Ash had spurred him on. A part him he hadn't seen in quite some time, the fun and cheerful part of himself, had come back out from hibernation, all because he wanted to impress a woman he'd only met recently.

When he pulled away he expected Ash to react negatively. To slap him, or yell, or indeed get Brandson to pound his face in. He never expected her to kiss him back while he bumbled through an apology. Nor did he have any real control over the rest of their night. Yesterday morning he woke up from the first peaceful rest he'd had in years, and looking at Ashley sleep beside him, he knew something had changed inside of him.

The entirety of their date yesterday was John thinking on his feet, trying to come up with ideas he thought Ash would like. Thankfully, they seemed to share a lot of the same interests (_Other than choice in drink apparently, Miss I'm-too-good-for-wine_)_._

John berated himself for breaking down in front of her like that last night. He thought he'd suppressed his demons, compartmentalized them so no one else would have to see them again. But Ashley came in, and while he wasn't entirely sure what it was she had done, she had wormed through his defenses and made him put down his walls long enough to see him in such a vulnerable state. And again, where John was certain he'd scared her off, Ashley stayed, saying more with her kiss than words could possibly express.

John leans down and plants a kiss to the top of her head. Ash only shifts marginally, letting out a content sigh. For the life of him, John can't think of what it is he's done to deserve the affection of a woman as wonderful as Ashley.

An overly loud ping from his Omni Tool pierces the quiet of the hotel room and John winces. Ash groans, burying her face into his chest. Before the signal alerting him he has a video message can blare again, John brings up his left hand up to face and presses the holographic Connect button shining from his Omni Tool bracelet.

A video screen materializes, bathing John's face in yellow light, and the image of Admiral Anderson pops up. "Shepard," he greets, in a voice far too loud for what the situation calls for.

John tries to urge him to keep his voice down, but the damage is done, as Ash stirs and groans next to him. "Five more minutes," she mutters.

Anderson gives him an apologetic smile. "I take it this is a bad time?"

"You could say that." Shepard replied.

Anderson chuckles. "Hell, son, I'm just glad you got yourself laid for once in your life."

Shepard gives him a scowl, which only deepens when the woman beside him laughs as well. Ash props herself up on an arm and gives Anderson a lazy salute. "Morning, sir."

John mutters an apology as she gets off the bed, but she waves him off as she moves to the bathroom. Sitting into an upright position, Shepard can see Anderson lean forward and try to look beyond the confines of the video screen.

"Wait, was that Chief Williams?"

"Anyways!" Shepard interjects before Anderson can ask too many questions, "Care to explain why you're interrupting my beauty sleep, sir?"

Anderson still looks skeptical, but turns to address Shepard. "Of course. There was an incident along the border yesterday, and the situation is slowly starting to escalate. I won't go into details over a vid chat, but suffice to say I may have need of my XO in the very near future. I sent a shuttle to pick you up, and it should be at Arcturus in a little more than an hour."

John feels his chest become hollow with disappointment. Originally his transport hadn't been slated to leave until 1400 hours, and he'd been hoping to spend what time he had left with Ashley. Now they would have to say goodbye much sooner than they wanted to.

Hiding his displeasure behind his Commander Mask, Shepard responded, "Of course, sir. I'll be prepared to leave when it gets here."

Anderson nodded and terminated the call. John let his mask fall and he sighed, letting the back of his head rest on the wall behind him. He almost forgot that even when everything feels right with the world, the galaxy can comeback in whenever it wants to remind you how messed up it can get. But if anything positive could come out of this, it was that John was grateful to have at least met Ashley Williams.

"Hey Ash?" he called out to the bathroom.

"I heard!" she called back, and John could hear the underlying disappointment in her voice. Obviously neither of them liked how their plans were being accelerated. She opened the door and leaned on the frame, fixing John with a sad smile. "Duty calls, right?"

"That it does," he agreed, draping his legs over the bedside and smoothing out his pants where they'd gotten bunched up overnight. He felt his shirt thrown over head, and John smiled despite his moping. He removed it and looked over in her direction, seeing Ashley working her long legs back into her jeans. "So where's the 212 headed next?" he asked, genuinely curious.

Ash shrugged as she worked the hem of her jeans around her shapely waste. "I know we're slated for colony defense, but I don't know where yet. Though Hackett did mention putting in a good word for Eden Prime."

John hummed appreciatively as he put his shirt on. "Eden Prime's definitely a step above the usual roster. I hear it's beautiful there."

"I've heard that too. Maybe I'll send you a postcard. What's next for you?"

John considered for a moment. "I'll go back to being XO on the _Tokyo_ for a while, but I know Anderson wants me to join up with him on a project he's been heading for the past few years."

"Sounds fun. And classified."

John shrugged. "I probably couldn't tell you anything even if I knew more. Though I do know it's a joint venture between the Alliance and the Hierarchy."

"The Turians?" Ashley asked incredulously when she sat down beside him, working on tying up her boots. "Some kind of goodwill thing?"

"It's more than that, I think. But like I said, I don't know much else and then it'd probably be classified all to hell."

Ashley let out a quiet chuckle, and the pair lapsed into silence while she finished up her shoes. Once those were done she placed her hands on knees and turned to John with an expectant gaze.

John worked his jaw open a few times, but he was at a loss for words of any kind. How do you say goodbye to someone who had such a profound effect on you? Or put a close on one of the most joyous weeks you've had in years?

Ashley sighed. "Look, I suck with words. Other people usually say what I mean better than I do. But… I had a lot of fun. And frankly, I'm glad I got to see past the Commander and meet John Shepard." She bumped his shoulder with her own. "For the record, this old N7 _does_ know how to show a girl a good time."

John smiled at her comment. Gingerly, she gripped his chin and angled his face so she could plant a long kiss on his cheek. Pulling away, she said, "Stay safe out there, John." With that, she stood up and made for the door to his hotel room.

"I should be telling you that," he said after her. Ash paused in the doorway and sent a smirk over her shoulder. His voice turned serious. "Goodbye, Ash."

Her deep brown eyes became softer. "Bye," was all she said quietly, and with that, she was gone, the door sliding shut in the space she once occupied.

John felt his smile fall and his shoulders slump, and he wiped his hands over his face. He was beyond happy that he and Ashley had been able to spend a day together without pressure of any kind, but it did little to alleviate the hollow feeling in his chest. He couldn't shake the suspicion that he had done something wrong somehow.

Defeated, he stood up and stretched his limbs. He wasn't nearly as sore as yesterday morning, since last night they'd been too tired from walking around all day and opted to simply fall asleep together.

On a whim he decided to move to the window and pull back the curtains to let light into the room. He braced a forearm on the glass and leaned his forehead on it, looking out over the view presented. From his room he could see Acrturus Station's 'skyline' and where it eventually curved upward into the 'sky'. He could see a vast amount of space through the large windows placed throughout the station's exterior walls.

But most importantly, he could see Ashley Williams, walking down the street below him. Even from three stories up he could recognize the confident gate of her walk and the assurance set into her shoulders.

Almost with a mind of its own, a memory came to the forefront of John's mind. One he hadn't bothered to remember for quite some time.

_Ten year old Johnny Shepard and his mother Hannah sit at the table of their small, utilitarian apartment eating breakfast. His mom told him her work would likely keep her through the night today, so she insisted upon at least having one meal with her son before they had to part ways. _

_At one point Johnny looks up from his bowl of cereal and sees his mother looking off into space, that glassy look to her dark blue eyes whenever she's remembering something sad. She is also fiddling with the gold band on her ring finger again. _

_He follows her gaze to one of the few pictures they keep on a side table. It is a picture of Johnny and Hannah, both of them looking much younger, standing with the man Johnny remembered to be Daniel Shepard, his father. The man is a mirror image of what John looks like today, but with warm brown eyes. Daniel has the cheering four year old Johnny shitting on his right shoulder, with his left arm looped around his wife's shoulders. Both sport large, loving smiles for one another._

_It is one of the few pictures left of Daniel Shepard where he is not donned in pilot gear or sitting in the control pit of his fighter. It had been taken while the family was on vacation during Hannah's shore leave._

_Hannah realizes she's been caught staring and gives her son an apologetic smile before going back to her news report and mug of coffee. The two of them had moved on since Daniel's peaceful passing years ago, but it was never a wound that would ever completely heal over. _

_Overcome with a strange curiosity this fateful morning, Johnny decides to ask his mother a question. "Hey, mom?"_

"_Yes, sweetie?" she answers without looking up from her data pad._

"_When did you realize you loved dad?"_

_All of her movements stilled and Hannah stared at her son with wide eyes. But the boy simply looks back, waiting for any kind of answer. After a moment Hannah laughs a little, and she puts her things aside before folding her hands together atop the table. "My, now isn't that a story."_

_Johnny cants his head, confused, and Hannah laughs a bit more. She'd always said John had somehow memorized all of his father's mannerisms. _

"_Oh, your father and I went back many years," she continued, her smiled turned nostalgic. "I was serving as an officer aboard a carrier, and I was in charge of making sure the fighter pilots integrated well enough with the rest of the crew."_

_Her smile broadens and her eyes dance as she comes across fond memories. "But this one hotshot, a cocky piece of… ahem, stuff, takes a fancy to me almost the instant we meet. He spent the entire cruise talking to me, getting to know me, constantly asking me to go out with him. A few friends told me to report his unbecoming fraternization to my superiors. But I'd never felt threatened or embarrassed by his advances. I'd always found him sweet, funny, bumbling at times. _

"_About halfway through our tour I called his bluff, and I told him I'd go out with him, but only if he could somehow make our date work on the ship." Hannah closed her eyes and propped her face in one hand, laughing more. "Oh god, did he deliver. He set up a small picnic beneath the area where his fighter hanged during the night shift, and he somehow rigged his fighter to alternate between a series of different colored lights. Add in the candles and it was much more romantic than I expected. _

"_To this day I have no idea where he found the two chicken breasts he cooked himself for our dinner. It was during that first date I realized I cared about him, maybe as much as he did me. After that we became something of an item aboard the ship. No one batted an eye because we weren't really in the same chain of command, so fraternization regs didn't apply to us._

"_Unfortunately, the tour came to an end, and I was due to be reassigned under Hackett's command on a cruiser. Daniel and I told ourselves that the relationship we'd had was a result of being cooped up on a ship together. He was due to retire in a few years, but he recognized that I still had a long service ahead of me. He said he didn't want to hold me back from my dreams._

"_The day I had to disembark, we said our goodbyes in the docking bay by the ship. We left on good terms, but I just couldn't get over how terrible I felt. I got only about halfway down the bridge connecting to the main Arcturus docking area before I looked back at him, still smiling at me. And I considered this man for a few moments, this man who made me laugh and smile, who dredged back up feelings I had long thought buried forever. At that moment, I asked myself, 'Could I live with never seeing Daniel Shepard again?'"_

_Hannah shook her head and wiped the back of her hand over her eyes, even though no tears had escaped. "And I realized my answer was no. So I dropped all my things, ran back, threw my arms around him and told him that I loved him. That no matter where life took either of us, in the end I wanted us to always be together. God, John, the man looked like he'd just been given the key to the Citadel he was so happy."_

John Shepard stood against his window, looking down on Ashley Williams as she walked away from his hotel, thinking. About what his mother had told him so long ago. About the amazing day he spent with Ashley. About how she had gotten him to open up where a legion of doctors couldn't. And he thought about how far he was willing to go for true happiness.

_Could I live with never seeing Ashley Williams again?_

"Hell no," he growled.

Acting quickly, John tore open his traveling bag and found the pad and pen he kept for writing. He ripped out a sheet of paper and wrote down a series of letters and numbers. After that he threw on his shoes and jacket, caring little for how he looked, and burst out of his hotel room.

Foregoing using the elevator (Slow elevators was one of the few universal constants), John flew down flights of stairs and past perturbed hotel guests to the main lobby and out the front door. From there he veered left, not quite running but not quite walking either, in the direction he saw Ash go off in.

She's gotten quite the lead on him, but thankfully Ash is only plodding along and Shepard covers the distance between quickly. The whole time he can't help but feel like an actor in a cheap rom-com he'd gladly make fun of on any other given day.

John is about a block away from her when he calls out her name. Ashley pauses, like she's deciding if she really heard her name or if her mind is playing tricks on her.

John is closer now. "Ashley!"

This time Ash whirls around in surprise, and her eyes connect with his. "John?"

"Wait up!" He finally crosses the last few meters between them, huffing out his breaths, and it is when they are only separated by a mere foot of space that he realizes he has no idea what to say. So engrossed in his realization that he wants to continue seeing Ashley, he didn't come up with a plan of persuading her to agree.

He briefly notes she kept her hair down while he holds out the piece of paper. "Uh, here."

Ash looks confused, but takes it nonetheless. "What's this?" she asks, looking it over.

"My contact info," he supplies without elaborating.

She looks back up at him, showing no signs of understanding just what exactly he's going for.

John took a deep breath before continuing. "Look, Ash, I care about you. And I don't want my time with you to end and become a memory I'll eventually forget. I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. Because I think you're beautiful and fun and confident and a thousand other things equally endearing."

He rubs the back of his nervously, and his voice takes on a slightly pleading undertone. "You're the first person to make me feel human again in years, and I… I don't want to say _goodbye_ to you. I want to show you how much you mean to me. I want to make you as happy as you've made me. I want be there when you prove it to your superiors you're a better soldier than anyone else in the Alliance. I want to-"

Ashley closed the distance between them and placed two fingers on his lips, effectively silencing him. "Has anyone ever said you talk too much some times?" she asked playfully.

John feels his mouth pull into a smile as he nods. Ash hummed appreciatively, and pulled the hand away to rest it on his chest, right over his heart. Her expression turns serious as she looks down at the piece of paper curled in her other hand, and John suddenly becomes afraid that she'll say no.

"Look, I don't hold any illusions about long distance relationships, and I'm pretty sure you don't either," she began. "And the truth is you and I have barely known each other for one week. This has been fun, but we don't know if it could still last months or years from now."

John deflates, understanding what she's saying as true. He can't help feeling utterly depressed, but he knows he can't force her to do something she doesn't believe in. He respects her too much for that.

He tried to pull away and mutter some kind of apology, but Ashley's hand on his chest curls his shirt into her fist, stopping from moving anywhere. Before he can protest, Ash looks back up at him, and the hopeful look she gives him sends electricity racing up and down his spine.

"But," she continued, "that's usually the case for normal people. And from what I've seen, you and I are far from normal."

John huffed out a laugh and nodded in agreement. Ash went on saying, "And the real truth is I care about you too. A lot more than anyone else I've ever met. Because I think you're handsome, and brave, and caring, and a thousand other things just as virtuous. So maybe years from now, when you're an admiral and I'm too tired of whipping soldiers into line, I want to come back to this, and I want to see if this can work."

John is grinning from ear to ear now as he leans his forehead against her own and moves his hands to her waste, happiness flooding his system through every pore. "I'd wait an eternity for you," he whispers.

"I certainly hope so," she whispers back in a breathy voice, "Because if there's one thing I hate, Shepard, it's sharing."

On an impulse Ash leans in to give John a quick kiss, but he isn't having any of it. He wraps his arms around the small of her back and pulls their bodies flush together while he seals their lips in a long, passionate kiss. He feels her arms encircle his neck and he swallows her short, breathy moans, countering them with his own long, low rumbles of pleasure.

"You… do not… make it easy… to walk away… from you," Ash manages between oral attacks.

"That's… the idea."

Ash laughs into his mouth, and John loves the way it sends his heart fluttering.

Eventually their tempo slows, their kisses less fervid and demanding. At last Ashley finally pulls away, tugging on John's lower lip with her teeth as she goes. John frees her from the prison of his arms and takes her hands in his own. Both of them sport the largest, stupidest grins for one another, and neither could care about who could see them right now.

"I think you've got a ride to catch," Ash told him with a squeeze of his hands.

"I'll only leave if you promise not to miss me too badly."

"Oh, I don't think that'll happen." She released one of his hands and held up the paper he gave her. "Remember, John Shepard, I've got your number."

John chuckled as he leaned down to give her one last parting kiss. He finally released her hand and began backing away slowly, trying to keep her in her vision for as long as possible. "I'll see you next time, Chief."

Ashley smirked back at him. "Until then, Commander."

* * *

><p>Shepard stood on one of the bridges of Arcturus Station's docking bay, leaning on the railing and reading a news report on his Omni Tool. At the sound of engines becoming louder, he looked up and saw an Alliance Kodiak inbound for his position. His closed down his Tool and hefted his duffel bag onto his shoulder. The Kodiak touched down a few meters away and opened one of its doors to allow Shepard entry.<p>

The pilot hailed him when he stepped in. "You Shepard?"

"If not me then Anderson sent you here for nothing."

"Ha! True enough. Go ahead and try to get comfy, sir. It'll take a few hours to get back to Third Fleet."

"Noted. Wake me up when we're ten minutes out."

The pilot gave him an 'aye aye' and Shepard made to secure his duffel in an overhead compartment. He braced himself as the shuttle took off, but the inertial dampeners kicked in and helped to right his footing. Once that was done he sat himself down in one of the seats and tried to make himself as comfortable as possible. Kodiak seating might be some of the most uncomfortable and unyielding in the galaxy, but Shepard had made a career out of getting sleep in the most unlikely of places.

Before he dozed off, Shepard pulled up the video screen of one of the Kodiak's external cameras. He watched as the shuttle left the docking area and passed through the station's environmental barrier. Then it moved along the out edge of Arcturus, maneuvering around the station in order to head for the system's Mass Relay.

John watched with a smile as Arcturus slowly began to grow smaller in the camera's view. A week ago he'd been a soldier just for the sake of serving his government. His purpose was to complete the next mission and save as many lives as he could along the way.

But now John has a new reason worth living for. He'd found the one person he truly felt happy with, who understood him as more than Commander Shepard. Ashley Williams had given him reason to look forward to what came after the mission. John didn't know how long it would take him, but he knew he would find her again, and John would do everything in his power to make Ashley believe he could be the man for her.

Shepard's Omni Tool bracelet vibrated, indicating he had a new message in his inbox. Opening it up, he didn't recognize the sender's name, but he felt his smile grow wider.

_To: John Shepard_

_I see you :)_

_From: Unknown Sender_

Perplexed, John looked back the external camera view. He could see they were passing by the Station's park at the moment. On the hunch, he zoomed the view onto the scaffolding overlooking the park.

Sure enough, there was Ashley Williams, sitting on the catwalk he'd shown her last night, her legs dangling over the side and sporting a large grin as she watched their shuttle go past.

Acting quickly, John saved her as a contact and composed a reply.

_To: Ashley Williams_

_Now who's mildly stalker-ish?_

_From: John Shepard_

He watched her reaction through the video. Looking at her Tool, first she laughed; then she flipped him the bird.

John laughed himself. He watched her sitting there for as long as he could, until Ashley was only a spec within the increasingly smaller Arcturus Station.

He powered the video down and sat back to relax. He would wait for her for as long as it took. Because in the end, Ashley Williams would be worth it.

* * *

><p>A few blocks from her motel, Ashley walked down the street before her at a leisurely pace, a lightness to her step a persistent smile tugging at her lips. She couldn't help feeling giddy beyond all relief. Ash clutched the piece of paper in her pocket like it was some rare Prothean Artifact.<p>

That morning she had been fully prepared to walk away from John Shepard and never see him again. She wouldn't like it, but she understood both of their jobs would likely keep them separated by light years of galaxy. And as an N7 on the fast track to even more promotions, Shepard didn't need some woman distracting him. These were the platitudes Ash told herself, though they did little to help shake the feeling of guilt and awfulness.

She'd been completely taken by surprise to find John running after her down the street. And she'd been shocked to hear him say he wanted to continue seeing her despite the obstacles between them.

But more than that, Ashley felt a warmth spread from her chest to her limbs and up her neck, and she knew that more than anything, she felt overcome with a profound joy that John Shepard, a man who could make any woman he wanted fall in love with him, had chosen to fight for Ashley Williams. Her elation only grew at seeing his face perk up in joy when she agreed.

As Ashley walked toward her motel, she felt lighter than air, and the normally drab streets of Arcturus seemed to look much more colorful and alive this morning.

"Williams!" somehow behind her called out.

For a moment Ashley had a flash back, imagining John having broken out of his shuttle and hurtling back toward Arcturus like a meteor just to talk to her again. But turning around, she instead found serviceman Nirali Bhatia jogging toward her, clad in her work out clothes.

"Morning, Bhatia." Ash greeted when the older woman was close enough. "How's the arm?"

Breathing a little heavy, Bhatia stopped and flexed her left arm in different positions. "Oh, just a little stiff," she replied in her Indian accented voice. "Doctors took the cast off yesterday and just told me not to do anything too crazy for a few days."

"Good. I'd hate to lose one of my best riflemen." Ash gestures with her head behind her, and the pair began walking back to their motel.

"Speaking of the prior day's events," Bhatia began, fixing Ash with a teasing gaze, "you disappeared during the party."

Ash shrugged, try to brush her off. "Oh you know me, a few too many beers and I can barely stay awake."

"Uh huh. And what if I told you Sanders says she saw you leaving hand in hand with Commander Shepard?"

Ash smirked. "Come on, we both know how Sanders gets when she has a few too many beers."

"And all the other men who say they saw you walking around with Shepard all day yesterday?"

"Like you can actually trust the word of a bunch of hung over marines."

Bhatia held a hand up in surrender. "Alright, I believe you. Obviously you did not spend a day with the incredibly hunky Commander Shepard doing whatever it is you young people do for fun nowadays." Bhatia waggled her eyebrows suggestively and Ashley couldn't help laughing. She'd always like the Indian woman. Bhatia had a calm, motherly presence, and Ash could always rely on her to keep the men in line when Ash wasn't present.

Bhatia sighed and looked off into the distance, her eyes taking that glassy look to them whenever she was about to get nostalgic. "Have I ever told you about my husband, Ashley?"

"Only about twice a week, Nirali."

"Hmm. Well, did I tell you about the first time he asked me out?"

Ash thought a moment. "No, I don't think I've heard that one yet."

"Well, that is something we must rectify!" she said whilst looping her arm around Ashley's shoulders. Ash ignored the slightly pungent BO while Bhatia spoke. "Oh, you should have seen that man when he first walked up to me. We'd already known each other a couple months, and as a friend I did really like him. So he goes to ask me out on a date, and poor Samesh looks like he's on the brink of fainting.

"Looking back, I wished I could have told him there wasn't any reason to be nervous. I'd always thought he was nice and a little cute when he got flustered. And despite my better judgment, I said yes. He looked absolutely shocked at first, but then he got one of the biggest smiles I'd ever seen.

"Originally the plan was to just go out on one or two dates and let him down easy. But when it was just the two of us, he was a different person. He became romantic and caring, and he'd always show me such a good time on our dates. By the time I stopped for a moment and took stock of what was happening, we'd been dating four months and I had a difficult time imagining the rest of my life without Samesh Bhatia in it."

Nirali trailed off into silence. Ashley had always known the woman loved her husband, but looking at her face right now, she can practically see the memories playing behind Nirali's eyes, and her faced was utterly relaxed with a happy expression. Come to think of it, Ash had seen that same expression on John's face several times yesterday.

"It sounds like you really love him." Ash told her sagely.

Bhatia let out a content hum in response. "I guess it just goes to show that love can find us in the most unexpected of people." She fixed Ashley with a knowing look as she pulled away. "Ah, listen to me chattering on. A young girl like you has better things to do than listen to this old bag rant about days gone by."

They stopped in front of the motel. "Oh come on, you know I love listening to your stories from years past. Tell me again, what was it like to meet Barrack Obama?"

Nirali laughed and playfully shoved her superior. "Laugh it up now, Williams. Someday you'll be just as old as me." She started to veer off and work back into a jogging motion. "Now, I have to go finish my run. I'll talk to you later, Chief."

Ash waved goodbye as she ran off, and went back to making her way to her motel room. Once inside she dropped her things on the nightstand and let herself flop onto her bed, letting out a content sigh. She laid there for a while, thinking over the events of the past few days and the time she spent with John Shepard.

_I guess it just goes to show that love can find us in the most unexpected of people._

Ashley found she could agree with Nirali wholeheartedly.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Notes:<em>

_And that wraps up the story arc I had planned for pre Mass Effect. The next few chapters, which I will post as soon as I can but don't expect anything for about a week, will cover the beginning of Mass Effect 1. After that I have ideas for where I want the story to go, but the real challenge will be coming up with a plausible way to get to them. _

_So, if anyone has an idea for a filler chapter, I'm all ears. Beyond that, please feel free to review and talk about how much you love me or how much you hate me. Either works. _

_And one more big thank you to everyone who has read and supported this story so far. I really appreciate all of it. _


	5. Chapter 5 - Secant

Mass Effect and its characters are owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Soldiers Chapter 5 – Secant

* * *

><p>Within one of the many far flung corners of the galaxy, the <em>SSV Normandy SR1<em> glides through the nebulous color of relay transit. The brainchild of Captain David Anderson, it has finally shirked off the regulations and protocols keeping it groundside. Now, the _Normandy_ literally and metaphorically spreads its wings as it embarks on its very first mission.

The ship is a hybrid design of the very best elements of Human and Turian craftsmanship. It hosts a number of the modern day's most advanced tools, from the Tantalus drive core, allowing the_ Normandy_ to reach speeds unheard of among other frigates, to the IES Stealth Systems, allowing the _Normandy_ to sneak past any fleet undetected. The ship is run by a full roster of Alliance navy personnel and marines, all of them handpicked for this very mission by Captain David Anderson and his executive officer Commander John Shepard.

Four such exemplary serviceman, three Human and one Turian, sit and stand within the helm of the ship. Among them is Jeffrey "Joker" Moreau, the _Normandy's_ acclaimed pilot, who sits in his designated chair and monitors the ship's systems as it passes through between the Arcturus and Utopia Mass Relays.

"Thrusters… check," he announced for the others who did not share the same grasp of ship inner working knowledge. "Navigation… check. Internal Emissions Sink engaged. All systems online. Drift… just under fifteen hundred kilometers."

"Fifteen hundred is good," replied a dual toned voice behind him. Joker swiveled a bit in his chair to see Spectre Nihlus nodding his strange Turian head appreciatively. "Your captain will be pleased." Without fanfare, Nihlus turned and walked away, likely to go and find Anderson.

Joker turned back to face his console when Nihlus was out of ear shot. "I hate that guy."

Sitting to his right, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko scoffed. "Nihlus just gave you a compliment. So you hate him?"

"Remember to zip up your jumpsuit on your way out of the bathroom? That's good." Joker defended, his fingers dancing across the various screen before him. "I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead! So that's incredible! Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having one onboard. Call me paranoid."

"Paranoid?" Alenko echoed. "The council helped fund this project, so I think they have the right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."

"Yup, that's the official story. But only an idiot believes the official story. What do your special N7 instincts say, Commander?" Joker asked the man sitting to his left.

"Mmhmm."

Joker looked over and saw Commander Shepard sitting there with his nose buried into his Omni Tool and his brow scrunched in confusion. Before being assigned to the _Normandy_ roster, Joker had always heard Shepard was a cold bastard who expected nothing less than perfection from those under his command. Having gotten to know him, Joker now likens Shepard more to a twelve year old driving a man's body.

And Joker would be willing to put good money on _who_ it was Shepard was talking to.

"Aw Christ, he's at it again."

Alenko looked up, concerned. "Who's up to what?"

"Naw, nothing's wrong. The commander just gets into his moods whenever he starts chatting up his girlfriend."

Alenko turned to address Shepard. "Just what exactly is Moreau talking about, sir?"

"Mmhmm."

"See what I mean?" Joker stated. "Here, watch. Hey commander, I've been thinking about loading up all our hard drives with Fornax. What do you think?"

"Mmhmm."

"Hey commander, the Batarians are boarding our ship and raping all our women. What do we do?"

"Mmhmm."

Joker turned back to Alenko. "See?"

Alenko nodded. "Does he get like this a lot?"

"No, only when he's having a conversation with his slave driver Ashley Williams."

At the mention of her name, Shepard perks his head up. "What's going on?"

Joker simply shook his head and turned back to his duties. Shepard turned to Alenko with a confused look. "It's nothing, commander," he replied.

"Well, alright then. Oh! Alenko, see if you can help me out for a second." Shepard stood up and walked over, taking off his Omni Tool bracelet and presenting it to the other man. "Can you tell if my Tool's on the fritz? It won't let me send out any messages."

Alenko took it and activated his own Tool to run a diagnostic. In addition to being a biotic, he also acted as the ship's chief combat engineer, so Alenko had a much better mind for tech than Shepard did. After a moment he shook his head and handed it back to the commander. "I can't see anything wrong with it. There shouldn't be anything preventing you from sending messages."

"Well, that's not really the problem. It tells me the messages are being sent, but then I get a warning saying they failed in transit."

"Then it's probably a problem with the recipient. Where are you trying to contact?"

"The colony we're heading to, actually. A friend of mine is stationed there."

Joker muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "Yeah, friend without the benefits."

Alenko shrugged. "I don't know, commander. Maybe Eden Prime's having trouble with its communication relay."

Shepard looked pensive while he stared at his Tool settings for a moment, concerned maybe, and he might have continued their conversation if Anderson hadn't buzzed in over the comm. "Joker, tell the commander to meet me in the comm. room."

"Aye sir," he replied. "And brace yourself. I think Nihlus is headed your way."

"He's already here, Lieutenant." Anderson replied with a touch of disappointment to his voice. Joker shook his head while Alenko smirked.

"You get that, commander?" Joker asked him.

"He sounds pissed." Shepard stated matter-of-factly.

"Naw, he just always sounds like that when he talks to me."

"Can't imagine why." Alenko muttered. He turned back to Shepard. "Let me know if your problem gets fixed."

Shepard was already fiddling with his Tool as he began to walk away. "Mmhmm."

After he left, Joker mimed a slave driver cracking his whip, and Alenko rolled his eyes.

On the bridge, Shepard closed down his Tool. Communication black outs aren't uncommon among the newer colonies, and even then they usually get resolved within a few hours. Shepard played off the sinking feeling in his gut as nerves born of the excitement of the _Normandy's_ first mission.

Shepard had been trying to contact Ashley in case the _Normandy_ stayed near Eden Prime for an extended period of time. If that was the case, he'd wanted to set up a video chat with her. They could do that any time, but the video was always delayed and grainy due to how far apart they were. But now the _Normandy_ would only be a couple thousand kilometers from Eden Prime at any given time, so John and Ash could have a video call and not worry about electrical bugs hampering them.

The two had kept in touch since their time together on Arcturus. They constantly traded text and video messages, describing to each other what their postings were like. It's gotten to the point where Ash has told him so much about her unit that John feels as though he knows the 212 better than any other unit he's actually served with for extended periods of time. Sometimes a message would go unanswered for days or weeks, but eventually the other would reply back with a snarky comment. The times spent talking with Ash in his off hours have kept John grounded in the time they've spent apart.

Along the way to the comm. room Shepard stopped to chat with Navigator Pressly, Corporal Jenkins, and Chief Medical Officer Dr. Chakwas. Each conversation revolved around the topics of the Turian Spectre's strange presence, how Anderson might be withholding something from the crew, and how this was likely going to end up being more than a shakedown run for the _Normandy._ Shepard did his best alleviate their concerns, but privately he sympathized with them. Ever since the announcement Spectre Nihlus would be joining them, Shepard had been unable to shake a subtle feeling of unease. This sense that everything he took for granted was about to suddenly become much more complicated.

Shepard stepped into the comm. room and set aside his nay-saying thoughts for later. He put his Commander Mask back on, for even if Anderson and Nihlus weren't being completely straight up, they were still his superiors, and all three of them still had a job to do.

Except only two of them were present. As Shepard walked in he found Nihlus alone, his back to the commander while he cycled through pictures of a planet's country side and rural dwellings. Shepard recognized the buildings and landscapes as belonging to Eden Prime from the pictures and videos Ashley had sent him.

"Commander," the Turian greeted without turning around. "I was hoping you'd get here first. It gives us a chance to talk."

"About what?" he asked warily once he was close enough.

"I'm interested in this world we're going to – Eden Prime. I here it's quite beautiful."

In his scrolling Nihlus paused on one picture, showing a large, dynamic skyline of Eden Prime's main colony, with its colonists moving about their work. But Shepard became fixated on an image in the background, one that most other people would skip over. Standing on a ridge with a few of her men was Ashley Williams. Even if she hadn't been wearing her beloved Phoenix armor, Shepard could still recognize her by the confident set to her stance and the way she held herself with constant preparedness. With one hand holding her Lancer rifle cocked against her hip, she used the other to point in some odd direction, likely giving her men orders on where to go. Despite the overall beauty of the landscape, Shepard could not bring himself to look away from her stunning image.

"Beyond beautiful." Shepard agreed.

"Yes. It's become something of a symbol for your people, hasn't it? Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but protect them as well." Nihlus finally turned, and fixed the commander with a level stare. "But how safe is it really?"

Shepard crossed his arms behind his back and stood ramrod straight, his familiar 'I'm not backing down' stance. "I know for a fact Eden Prime is under the protection of the 212th Infantry Marines. They couldn't ask for a better defense force."

"Yes, and to my understanding one of their commanding officers is Gunnery Chief Williams," Nihlus stated in a snide voice. "That hardly inspires confidence considering her family's history."

A clenching of his fists behind his back, his nostrils flaring the slightest amount, and is eyes narrowing for half a second. This is all Shepard allows of his sudden but powerful spike of anger to reach the surface of his character.

And in an instant all of his suspicions are confirmed. Ashley Williams may be the commanding officer of the 212, but she is by no means the highest military authority on Eden Prime. Her name would only come up if the interested party specifically pulled up the rosters of the entirety of Eden Prime's military force and searched it out.

The comment about her family is too specific to be a run of the mill insult. Had it been used against anyone else, most people would simply assume the Turian is making a jibe at humanity as a whole, while the rest already look down upon the Williams name and might agree with Nihlus. But he saved that comment specifically for Shepard's ears because he knew it would burrow under the commander's skin. Because he knows just what Ashley Williams means to John Shepard. The Turian purposely criticized one of Shepard's closest friends in order to see how he would react.

Shepard had always suspected the Spectre was here to evaluate the _Normandy's_ crew. He just hadn't guessed that evaluation would be centered on one specific crew member.

"It appears you have me at a disadvantage," he replied evenly with a dangerous undertone.

Nihlus crossed his arms behind his back and gave Shepard the Turian equivalent of a smug expression. "I wouldn't be very good at my job if I didn't thoroughly research potential applicants."

Shepard's eye narrowed. "Applicants?"

They heard the sound of the door opening, and both men turned to see Captain Anderson walking toward them. Addressing Nihlus, he said, "I think it's about time we fully inform the commander of the situation."

Shepard turned back to Nihlus with a hard stare. "Yes, we should."

From there, Anderson and Nihlus explained the reason the _Normandy_ was heading to Eden Prime was because the colony had recently unearthed a Prothean ruin. And chief among the discoveries found in it was a functioning Prothean Beacon. Anderson needn't explain how important something like this was. The last time humanity found a working beacon on Mars, it had jumped their technology by centuries. Their mission would be to secure the beacon and transport it into Citadel space where scientists could research it safely.

In addition, Nihlus revealed his presence here was to evaluate Shepard, for his name had been put forward for the honor of being humanity's first Spectre. Eden Prime would be the first of several missions together, and Nihlus would decide if this human had what it took to be part of the galaxy's most elite Special Forces unit.

Anderson was in the middle of giving them their estimated arrival time when Joker buzzed into the comm. room. He reported they'd gotten a transmission from Eden Prime. Anderson directed for it to be played on screen, and what Shepard saw made his blood run cold.

Where he should have seen lush grassy landscapes and trees, Shepard saw fires and plumes of smoke. He quickly deduced the video was being shot from a marine's helmet cam, considering how shaky it was. He was surrounded by other marines, all of whom were firing their weapons at enemies beyond the camera's view.

Shepard saw a blur of white, and his heart leapt into his throat. Ashley Williams ran up to the camera man pushed him aside, ordering him to get down, before turning and firing a long string of rounds at some unseen enemy. An explosion went off near them and the cameraman lost sight of Williams. Shepard found himself trying to will the camera to pan in other directions and search for her.

Another person's face took up the camera's view, and Shepard recognized the young man as Christopher Morley, one of the men from Ashley's unit. His words were garbled and being drowned out by persistent static. "-are under attack! Taking… casualties. … -repeat: heavy casualties! We can't… argh!... –eed evac! They came out of nowhere! We need –"

Morley's shields failed and Shepard heard the telltale smack of a round hitting its mark. His body spasmed a brief second before falling out of frame, his eyes glassy and lifeless. At his sides, Shepard's nails dug into the palms of his hands. Seeing good men die was nothing new to him, but it was something he never wanted to get used to seeing.

An unearthly klaxon blared off screen, and the cameraman panned upward to see an impossibly large and void black ship descend down from the clouds. It cut out a second later.

"It just goes to static after that, sir," Joker said over the comm.

"Hold at 38.5," Anderson ordered. The video rewound and stopped at the image of the strange ship. It was unlike anything Shepard ever seen. A kilometer long at least, and the carapace looking exterior in addition to the strange appendages on one end likened it more to a cuttlefish than a star ship. Red lightening arced around its framed. Just from looking at it Shepard felt a heavy sense of foreboding settle into his chest. He felt as though he were looking at an object made entirely out of the purest evil.

Anderson turned to address Shepard. "Tell Jenkins and Al-"

But Shepard wasn't there, already bounding up the ramp leading to the command center. Upon exiting through the door, he barked out Jenkins's name. The man visibly jumped but stood at attention.

"Go get Alenko and I want the both of you suited and ready for combat in the cargo bay in five minutes!"

Jenkins snapped off a quick salute and practically ran off to go get the Lieutenant. Shepard turned to Dr. Chakwas. "Report down to the med bay and have it prepped for wounded."

Chakwas nodded. "Yes, commander." She veered left and took the stairs down to the second level. Shepard followed, aiming to get his gear from his locker in the mess hall.

Outward Shepard may appear the very personification of authority and ruthless efficiency, but inside he can feel the icy tendrils of fear gripping his heart.

_You're strong, Ash. Please be strong enough for me to get there in time._

* * *

><p>Her boots dug into the soft ground as she ran. Every so often a geyser of dirt would erupt in or close to her path where a drone's stray bullet impacted. Her chest heaved and her limbs ached. The smell of acrid death and charred plants clung to her nostrils. She ignored the whine of her suit telling her kinetic barriers were below thirty percent.<p>

The smoke in the air made her lungs burn.

The over exertion of her body made her legs burn.

The tears threatening to spill over made her eyes burn.

The fires made the trees and bodies burn.

Everything burned and Ashley Williams ran.

Everything had happened so fast. One minute Ash was doing a normal patrol. Well, as normal as could be considered ever since the Beacon was dug up. The next minute all of their comms were down and Ashley's HUD was picking up a number of unidentified ships entering the atmosphere. Ashley's superiors ordered her and her men to secure the dig site where the beacon was found.

They'd been a few kliks away when Sanders's bio signatures suddenly winked out while she was scouting ahead. Before they knew it the 212 was under assault from an enemy they did not have the training for. Ash knew they were synthetics, but they weren't the clunky droids one saw being sold by private military contractors today. These were sleek, almost organic looking, and they moved far more seamlessly. Their weapons were far more powerful than the 212's, cutting through her men's kinetic barriers like they were nothing.

Even the most brilliant of tacticians couldn't fully prepare for the ambush they'd walked into. By the time Ashley regrouped her men into a defensive position they'd already lost a quarter of their manpower. One of her men tried to send a distress signal off planet, but she wasn't sure if it had gotten through.

At some point a number of machines appeared with rocket launchers, and the resulting explosions caused Ashley and Brandson to become cut off from the rest of their men.

Ash felt her throat constrict and her eyes blur at the thought of her friend, and she struggled to breathe properly and keep herself upright as she ran.

_God, you stupid fucking idiot, Tommy!_

_They'd taken cover on an elevated ridge. To their backs was the ravine that had long since dried out, and coming up on their front were legions of the vile machines. Now Ashley and Bandson had elevation and some proper cover on their side, so they could do more damage to the synthetics than the other way around. But Brandson had been hit in the knee, and Ash knew he couldn't move without serious medical attention, but that would take time, and the machines were relentless in their assault. _

_For every mech Ashley took down, two more would appear out of the tree line. They held no preservation instinct, choosing to willingly sacrifice their numbers in order to gain ground. Ashley knew she and Brandson couldn't keep this up forever, as the machines would eventually flank them. But if they tried to run Brandson would never get very far, and the machines would just shoot them in the back. Her life hung in the balance and Ash couldn't come up with a plan. _

"_You have to go," Bandson said suddenly in a strained voice. Confused, Ash turned to him for a second to see if he had misspoke. But Brandson had a hardened look to his to his face as he fired upon the advancing force. Whatever he had decided upon, he would see it through._

"_What the hell are you talking about?" she yelled back as she turned and resumed firing._

"_We both know I can't walk away from here." Ash knew that voice. He'd only ever used it to chastise some of the younger men and convince them of what they'd done wrong. "But you can still run. I can hold them here and give you a chance to get away."_

"_Don't say shit like that. I promise you we're both going to get out of here." Ashley found she couldn't bring herself to believe her own words. _

_She started when she felt hands on her waist. She looked down to see Brandson fixing his bandoleer of remaining grenades to her utility belt. "I don't believe that," he told her in a solemn voice._

_A staccato of rounds landed in the ground close to Ash's head, forcing her to duck down. "You seriously cannot think I'd actually choose to just leave you here!"_

_Brandson gripped the side of her helmet and forced her to look him in the eye. In a voice devoid of any doubt, he said, "I'm not giving you a choice."_

_Before Ashley could react, Brandson placed his hand on her chest and pushed. The next thing Ashley knew she was falling, tumbling down the side of the ravine to the riverbed below, grunting whenever she connected with a rocky surface. After a moment the world stopped spinning and Ashley collapsed at the base of the incline. Breathing heavy, she propped herself up on her elbows and looked upward._

"_Tommy!" she yelled up at him. She couldn't actually see him, but the steady rapport of his Lancer rifle was all she needed to know he was still there. _

_Before she could debate whether or not to crawl back up to him, a trio of the machine's drones broke from the tree line to their right and immediately started firing on her position. Bolts of plasma struck the ground around her as she scrambled to get up. From the top of the ridge, a series of shots streaked through the air toward the drones. They caught the one in the back, and its resulting explosion threw the other two off their trajectories, giving Ash a chance to get away._

"_Just go, Ashley!" she heard Brandson yell. Sending one last pleading look to his position, Ashley fully picked herself up from ground and took off in the opposite direction of the drones. The pair righted themselves and gave chase, repeatedly discharging their weapons at Ashley as she ran._

Her shields took another smattering of rounds before failing altogether, and Ash screamed as she felt pain lance up her leg. Her form finally gave out, and Ash tumbled to the ground.

Thinking quickly, she used the momentum of her fall to twist her body and draw her sidearm in one smooth motion. Praying more than aiming as she collided with the earth, Ash squeezed off a trio of rounds. Two struck the second drone following the first, and thanks to their weak shields, the bullets impacted something critical and caused the drone to explode. By a sheer stroke of luck, the explosion launched a piece of shrapnel into the lead drone. It was thrown off course and skidded across the ground a few meters before blowing up itself.

Ashley had no time to breathe a sigh of relief, as she realized she'd stumbled upon another trio of the bipedal machines. She watched in horror as they secured a field worker to some kind of device. Before she could do anything, an impossibly large spike pierced the man's chest. With a final guttural scream he was hoisted high into the air.

The three machines released a kind of chattering noise and turned to face her. Ash picked herself up and half ran half limped to a stone slab jutting out of the ground large enough to conceal her body. Taking a careful peek around the side, she saw the machines moving in on her position, but they were going at a slow pace. They likely didn't have reinforcements on the way and couldn't so easily afford to sacrifice one of their number.

Ash withdrew her head and slumped against the rock, trying to take in breaths of air. Her helmet was too constricting and the air filter only served to slow her down, so Ash fumbled with the clasps and tore it off. She tilted her head back and took in great gulps of air. It may be tinged with fire and death, but it was still oxygen. She reached behind her to withdraw her assault rifle, but found the space on her back empty. She then realized she had likely lost it when she fell down the ravine side.

Ash felt herself slump to the ground and her tears begin to cascade down her cheeks. Brandson's gambit failed. Ashley failed her men and she was going to die here on this godforsaken planet for it. They had trusted her to lead them through thick and thin, and Ashley had led them to their deaths.

Overcome with guilt, great sobs wracked her frame. She was sorry for her men. She was sorry for leaving Brandson to die. But most of all, she was sorry she hadn't been able to say goodbye to him.

Ever since Arcturus, not an hour passed that Ash didn't think of John Shepard. He became one of her closest and most personal friends, even if they only ever talked through messages. So most of all, Ash was sorry she would break John's heart when he received the news of her death. She was sorry the two of them would never say goodbye to each other. She was sorry she'd never be able to tell him she loved-

Ashley heard the thunk of something embedding itself into the ground, and a split second later felt more than heard the thunderous boom of an explosion. Risking a look around, Ashley saw a new crater had formed between two of the machines, and both of their shields had been knocked out. Before any of them could react, one was dragged into the air and hung their helplessly in a blue corona, while the second was riddled with bullets. The machine sparked and shuttered as it fell.

The third unscathed machine managed to fire a set of rounds into Ashley cover before an electrical pulse took down its shields and stunned it. Reacting quickly, Ashley drew her sniper rifle, lined up the machine in her scope, and pulled the trigger. She was rewarded with the sight of the ridge line behind the machine through the hole in its chest. It sputtered and fell.

The last machine finally fell back the ground. Before it could pick itself up, a trio of well-placed rounds pierced the large flash light that served as its face. It moved no longer.

Ash leaned on the rock as she surveyed their surroundings, and found that for now they were free of the synthetic menace. Despite the gravity of the situation, Ash felt herself laugh incredulously. She'd been so sure this would be her last stand, and instead she found the cavalry.

She turned to meet her saviors and was surprised to only see two men walking toward her. The first she didn't recognize. Brown hair, brown eyes, handsome face, and from the blue corona dissipating around his arms, Ash guessed him to be a biotic.

But the second she recognizes in an instant. Even if he hadn't sent her countless video messages, she still remembered the face from all the dreams she's had of him. He still had the close cropped hair, the strong chin, and the dark blue eyes that saw past all her defenses.

"Shepard?" she asked, utterly surprised. "What are you do- aaaaaAAAAHHAAAAAAGH!"

Ashley made the mistake of stepping toward them on the leg that had been shot. By now her adrenaline had worn off, no longer numbing the bullet wound, and her body was quick to remind her she'd been wounded by sending pain lancing up and down her body.

Ash staggered and tried to brace herself on the rock as she fell, but she felt strong arms wrap around her waist. Ash looked up and blinked through her blurry vision to see Shepard standing over her, easing her into a sitting position against the rock.

"Take it easy, Ash," he commanded in a soft voice. "Try not to move too much."

Ash gritted her teeth and nodded, biting back the pain as he extended her wounded leg outward. The other man came forward and kneeled down next to them, a medical pack in hand. Shepard took it and laid it on the ground, opening up its contents. He turned to Ash with a steady gaze. "I'm going to have to take off the armor around your thigh."

Ash nodded once more and looked on as he dealt with the clasps connecting the cracked and smoldering ceramic plating on her left thigh to the rest of her suit. After that was gone Shepard took out a small surgical knife and cut away the skin tight under suit marines wore to avoid chafing. He peeled away the blood soaked layer of cloth and threw it away, allowing them to see the damage done.

A sizable chunk of Ashley thigh was missing, replaced with a blackened crater. The blood leaking out was only minimal, as the machine's strange weapons appeared to have cauterized a good portion of the wound. But where it didn't bleed it oozed other bodily fluids. Ash felt she might have thrown up looking at it, had she not already done so a few dozen yards back down the ravine.

Shepard inspected the wound with a critical eye. "I can't tell you what kind of weaponry did this, but it looks to be a glancing blow, and it didn't hit any major arteries." He turned back to the med pack and began rummaging through it, looking for something.

The other man leaned in to get a better look. "Jesus. What could have caused something like this?"

A memory she'd previously glossed over came back to the forefront of Ash's mind. "Geth," she blurted out like a gasp of pain. Rodriguez, their resident expert on all things tech related, had called that name out before Ash lost sight of him after an explosion.

The man turned to her, perplexed. "Geth? They haven't been seen beyond The Veil in over three hundred years. What are they doing-"

"_Alenko."_ Shepard interrupted pointedly, glaring at the other man. "Go scout ahead and make sure nothing's sneaking up on us."

Alenko looked taken aback and glanced between the two of them warily. But he nodded, and stood while drawing his weapon before walking off to check their perimeter.

Shepard shook his head as he went back to his search. After a moment he withdrew two items and presented them to Ashley. The first looked like a small can full of some aerosol, and the second looked like a simple plastic cylinder.

Shepard held up the can. "This will deal with any infections and prevent further tissue from dying." He then held up the cylinder. "And this is for you to bite down on."

He held it forward, and Ashley took it warily. "Why do I need this?"

"Because this," he stated, holding up the can of aerosol, "is going to hurt like a bitch."

Ash nodded and placed the plastic between her teeth. Shepard uncapped the can and, giving her an apologetic look, pressed the spray button.

Ashley's eyes screwed shut as she reeled her head back and screamed in agony through the gag. Had it not been there, she imagined she would have crushed her teeth. The spray made it feel as though hundreds of pins of pure ice were stabbing into her wound. She couldn't stop more tears from spilling down her cheeks. Ash took in great gasping breaths of air as she tried to block out the pain.

The spray stopped and the stabbing pain turned into a bruising coldness. A gloved hand came up and brushed away the rivulets of tears from her cheek. "Hey," Shepard consoled in a soothing voice. "Believe me, that was the worst part."

Ash heard the sound of a package being ripped open, and after a moment she felt a slick substance being pressed into her wound. She felt a brief second of stinging before moaning in relief as the pain numbed away in sweet bliss. She allowed her eyes to open and spied the open package on the ground beside them, reading the name as 'Medi Gel.'

"Better?" Shepard asked hopefully.

"Yeah," she replied in a shaky voice.

Shepard smiled at her. "Good." He produced a length of gauze from the med pack and wrapped it around her now numb leg so as to fully cover the wound. The Medi Gel would heal her leg to some extent, at least allowing her to resume walking, running, and fighting. It would at least allow her enough time to have an actual medical professional view her leg. The gauze would provide a barrier so her suit didn't aggravate the wound. With that done, Shepard retrieved the ceramic plating and patched up its hole with Omni Gel before affixing it back to her armor.

He closed the med pack and secured it to his utility belt. He then stood up and offered Ashley a hand. She took it, grateful, and allowed him to hoist her back to her feet. She took a moment balancing herself and testing her weight on her bad leg. Ash couldn't detect any serious pain, and she gave Shepard an affirming nod.

Shepard looked relieved before turning serious again. "If you feel up to it, we could use a sit rep. I have no real idea of what we're walking into."

Ash shook her head. "There's not much I can tell. We were moving to secure the dig site when we were ambushed by the Geth." Her eyes began to waver as visions of what happened played back. "They came out nowhere, and they'd already killed so many before we could-"

Shepard stepped forward and gripped her shoulder. He looked into her eyes with his deep stare that saw more than it should have, and Ash couldn't find any words to continue with.

"Stop. We can talk about this later, but right now I need you to stay focused. Alright?"

Ash took a long breath. She would eventually have to grieve for her men, but for now, she still had a job to do. She nodded, and Shepard gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before taking it away, though he didn't step back, not that Ash was complaining.

"So what exactly are you doing here?" she asked him. "We tried to send out a distress signal, but reinforcements shouldn't have arrived this quickly."

Shepard looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "We were already in route to Eden Prime when we got your message. Our original mission was just to secure the Beacon you found, but obviously the situation had changed."

Ashley perked up, knowing how she could help. "I know where to find the Beacon." She thumbed over her shoulder in the direction she meant. "Follow me and I can take you to it."

Shepard's eyes widened. "You've been wounded. You can just give us the coordinates and get somewhere safe."

"Just what the hell kind of marine would I be if I pussied out now?" she demanded, stepping forward and practically daring Shepard to defy her. "Those flash light heads killed my men and a lot of innocent people. There is no way in hell I'm sitting on the sidelines instead of paying them back what's due."

To her surprise, Shepard smiled. "Now there's the Williams I remember."

Ashley smirked back as she began walking away. "Good. Now come on, we have a lot of ground to cover."

She reached a hand over her shoulder, but scowled as she remembered yet again that she had lost her assault rifle. She started reaching for her pistol when the butt of a rifle was pressed to her chest. She looked to Shepard, confused, but accepted the weapon nonetheless.

"I figured you can make better use of that than I can," he explained. He drew his own pistol. "Besides, there's a reason they call me Quick Draw Shepard."

"No one calls you that, sir!" Alenko called back from up ahead.

"Well they damn well better start!" Shepard countered.

Ashley felt a smile creep across her lips despite herself. She knew what Shepard was doing. He was trying to keep her mind off of what happened to her, in order to keep her grounded and focused on the mission before them.

The 212 may be all but wiped out, the colony in shambles, and for all Ash knew the Beacon was already gone or destroyed.

But Ashley was alive, and John Shepard was here to save the day. For now, that was enough.

* * *

><p><em>All Shepard saw was death.<em>

_Cities crumbling. Aliens he didn't recognize being slaughtered. Entire worlds consumed by flames._

_Shepard felt the anguish of an entire culture, an entire people, being snuffed from existence. His skull shook and vibrated with the sound of billions of souls crying out. For mercy, for salvation, or merely in agony._

_He wanted to close his eyes but could not, forced to watch as synthetic beings butchered men, women, and children. Some were simply eradicated. Others were turned into… something else. In the end, every last one fell._

_Shepard watched in horror as he witnessed the downfall of an entire civilization. And it wasn't simply a set of images played through a quick slideshow. He watched different snap shots from all around the galaxy over a period of multiple lifetimes. This great purge took its time, methodical, with absolute precision and certainty that it erased every single shred of evidence of the conquered people. _

_Shepard looked upon the creatures that had done this, and he experiences a fear not even Akuze could instill into him. These vile creatures of steel and circuitry. They are not dictated by morals and emotions. They are death incarnate, and they feel no remorse as they trample over the graves of a trillion dead souls._

_With no more innocents to decimate, these monsters disappeared. Back in to the recess of hell they crawled out of. But John heard their unspoken promise. They would come back, and the slaughter would begin anew._

_The harvest would continue, and there was nothing Commander John Shepard could do to stop it. _

_For an interminably long period of time, there was only darkness. Nothing, like no one was there to experience anything._

_And suddenly John flashed back to one of his earliest memories. A beaming Hannah holding her son in her arms while an equally happy Daniel looked over her shoulder._

_John's life played back before his eyes. From his first time walking upright to his first days in pre-school._

"Shepard?"

_He knew that voice. Sweet and husky mixed into an accent that sent chills down his spine. He tried grabbing for it, but could not find its buoy in the storm of his memories. _

_He relived the pain of watching his father die in the hospital bed, and the months afterward of trying to cope with his mother. He re-experienced the long days and nights spent alone while his mother kept the galaxy safe. _

"Can you hear me, Shepard?"

_It was clearer now, and he could vaguely place a face to it, but both still eluded him. He remembered his first time learning to drive a sky car, and how his mother clenched the dashboard as if her life depended on it. A warmth filled him at the memory of his first kiss with his high school crush._

"John, if you can hear me I need you to answer me!"

_He remembered his time in basic training and ICT, of the fear and pain he felt during the Maw attack. Missions played by, admirals commending him for his service, but through it all he could find no real reason to care._

_He remembered walking out of the elevator into the cargo bay, and upon seeing her for the first time in person, the only thought going through his head is how she's much prettier than her picture led him to believe._

"Doctor! Dr. Chakwas, I think he's waking up!"

Shepard blearily opened his eyes, immediately grateful to whoever had the decency to keep the med bay's lights on low. He glances around, and his eyes lock on the face with the voice from his dream.

Ashley Williams sits on a stool beside the bed he lays in, looking down at him with a smile of relief. He notes she's out of her armor now, and the grime and blood had been washed away from her face and hair.

Carefully, Shepard picked his body up off the bed and draped his legs over the side, hanging his head in one hand. His body felt like it had been put through the ringer, punched and beaten and tenderized. And his head ached to all hell. It felt like someone was taking a few dozen butter knives and shoving them into his brain.

Shepard heard steps padding across the metal floor and looked up to see Dr. Chakwas coming to stand in front of him. Ashley hopped off her stool and moved to stand behind him while Chakwas did her examination.

"You had us worried there, commander. How are you feeling?" she asked in her soothing British accent.

Shepard dragged a hand over his face, still dead tired even after just waking up. "Like the morning after shore leave," he muttered sourly.

"Really?" he heard Ash ask wryly. "Well then you must feel pretty damn good right now."

Shepard laughed, but immediately regretted it due to the uncomfortable throb sent through his skull. "Shit, don't make me laugh. My head feels like an over ripe melon fit to burst."

"Sorry," she replied meekly, though Shepard could still hear the smile in her voice.

He looked up to Chakwas, briefly noting her amused grin. "How long was I out for?"

"About fifteen hours." Shepard was only marginally surprised. He'd been out longer after Akuze. "Something happened down there with the beacon, I think."

Ash stepped forward to stand beside him. "It was my fault. I was caught in some kind of security field when I approached it. You had to push me out of the way."

Shepard shrugged. "You got too close and apparently the 50,000 year old relic had personal space issues. Nothing to lay blame for."

He was rewarded with the slightest quirking of the corners of her lips.

"Actually we don't even know if that's what set it off." Chakwas spoke up. "And unfortunately, we'll never get the chance to find out."

"Um…" Shepard turned to see Ashley looking down at the ground in embarrassment, her fists clenched at her sides. She spoke with short, clipped sentences, like she didn't actually trust her own words. "The Beacon exploded. A system overload, maybe. You were knocked out cold. The lieutenant and I carried you back here to the ship."

Under any other circumstances Shepard would have growled in frustration. Allowing an objective this important to be destroyed would mean the mission's utter and complete failure, no matter how many people Shepard saved.

But somewhere deep in his mind, hidden within the unclear visions that made his skull ready to crack, Shepard knew the Beacon wasn't lost. That whatever the Beacon was trying to say, that message was now firmly lodged in Shepard's head. He had no idea how to make sense of it, but it was there.

And he really couldn't fault Ashley, despite how she was quick to blame herself. It was entirely possible Saren rigged to Beacon to explode, just in case the nukes didn't take out the colony. If not, then the security field likely would have activated with the first person to approach it. Ash just had the misfortune of being that first person. And Shepard being Shepard, he would have gone to the rescue of anyone caught in some such field.

So if anything, he was grateful neither of them were hurt in the blast. That he and Ashley were simply alive.

"I appreciate it," he intoned truthfully with a nod of his head. From his angle, he could see the grim line set into her mouth turn into a small smile.

Chakwas continued, "Physically you're fine. But I detected some unusual brain activity, abnormal beta waves." Shepard stood up from his bed and leaned on the end while she continued talking. "I also noticed an increase in your Rapid Eye Movement, a sign typically associated with intense dreaming."

"I saw…" he tried, but words couldn't accurately describe just what exactly he'd seen. Shepard focused on the floor as he continued in a grave voice. "I'm not sure what I saw. Death. Destruction. Nothing's really clear."

Chakwas hummed thoughtfully. "I'd better add this to my report, this may-" She looked up at the sound of the med bay door opening. "Oh! Captain Anderson."

Anderson nodded in way a greeting. "How's our XO holding up, Doctor?"

"Well, all the readings look normal. I'd say the commander is going to be fine."

"Glad to hear it." He turned to the commander. "Shepard, I need to speak with you," he cast a wary glance at Williams, "in private."

Ash took the hint and proffered a salute. "Aye aye, captain. I'll be in the mess if you need me." With that she walked off, Chakwas following close behind.

Anderson turned back to him when both women were gone. "Sounds like that Beacon hit you pretty hard, Shepard. How are you holding up?"

Shepard shrugged. "I've gotten into worst fistfights."

Anderson crossed his arms behind his back and his voice adopted a much more serious tone. "I won't lie to you, Shepard. Things look bad. Nihlus is dead, the Beacon was destroyed, and Geth are invading. The Council's going to want answers."

Shepard explained he and his men did nothing wrong, and Anderson vowed to back him up. But Anderson also explained that Saren, the Turian they'd heard about leading the Geth, was one of the Council's most highly revered Spectres. No matter how much evidence the Alliance presented, the Council would likely take the side of its golden boy.

Anderson asked Shepard if he learned anything from the Beacon, and he recounted the strange dreams of synthetics killing organics. He couldn't clearly remember anything and Shepard scoffed at the idea of using a bad dream as evidence. But Anderson also explained how Saren hated humans, and he would likely use his new found secrets from the Beacon to wipe humanity off the map. Shepard vowed to come up with some way to expose Saren and make the Council believe, no matter what it took.

Instead of talking in circles, Anderson informed Shepard they were still a few hours out from the Citadel, and ordered the commander to take some down time before meeting him on him bridge later. Anderson made to walk away with that final note, but Shepard stopped him, unable to keep back a question that had been bothering him throughout the whole conversation.

"Sir, what exactly is Williams doing aboard the _Normandy?"_ Ashley wasn't on their roster, still technically stationed on Eden Prime. He briefly considered her to be a character witness, but Anderson hadn't mentioned any other witnesses yet.

Anderson stood there a moment, facing away from Shepard, and answered in a grave voice without turning around. "Once the dust had settled and the Geth were driven from the colony, the casualties of the 212 were found to be nearly one hundred percent. Williams is the only surviving marine from her unit."

Shepard felt himself sag as he absorbed that information. "Does she know?"

"Yes."

Shepard shook his head. He'd known the 212 had likely taken a high number of casualties, but he'd been hopeful that a few were able to retreat to a safe position. He assumed as much with how upbeat Ash was when he woke. It was then he realized she'd likely been worrying over his state while he was in a coma. She hadn't been allowing herself time to grieve for her men.

But the points still didn't add up. "That doesn't explain why she's aboard this ship, sir."

Anderson turned to him finally, his face holding mild shock, like he couldn't understand why Shepard couldn't see the things he knew. "Williams is a good soldier, don't you think?"

"The very best the Alliance has to offer." Shepard replied with conviction.

"And Lieutenant Alenko agrees with you. So instead of making her wade through the bureaucracy and constant reassignments, I had Williams reassigned to the _Normandy."_

Shepard shook his head, incredulous. "On any other occasion I'd be the first to argue she deserves a posting like this. But I cannot support your decision, as it has the high potential to violate Alliance regulations. You… know what she means to me, don't you?"

Anderson only chuckled and smiled in the fatherly way. "Why do you think I brought her on this ship?"

Shepard canted his head, still not quite understanding. Anderson looked down a moment, choosing his words before he looked back up at Shepard. "Do you remember those first few weeks when you came back to the _Tokyo_ after Hackett's mission?"

Shepard nodded. "I remember the crew being wound tight and readying for a brawl while the situation with the Turians escalated. We all breathed a sigh of relief when nothing came of it."

"Yes, well I remember thinking the crew was sure to fall apart if things between us and the Turians dragged on much longer. The thing was, they held together, and did their jobs no worse than if they weren't under pressure. Do know why it worked out that way?"

Shepard shook his head, and Anderson continued. "It's because their XO came back a new man. That first week after you came back I saw you smile more than in the last three years. You talked and laughed with the crew. Your ease with the situation affected all of them, and they took an example from their Commander."

Shepard's eyes widened as Anderson word's stated to sink in. The man stepped forward and placed a reassuring hand on Shepard's shoulder. "That was the first time I'd seen you let yourself be happy in god knows how long. I don't know Ashley Williams as well as you do, but that woman is good for you. I've only ever wanted what I thought was best for you, son. And I get the feeling we'll all need reminders of what we're fighting for in the next few months."

Shepard nodded slowly as Anderson pulled away and made for the exit. Over his shoulder, he said, "I don't think Williams has been given a proper tour of the ship yet. We've still got a few hours before we reach the Citadel. Why don't you be the one to take care of that?"

With that Anderson was gone, and Shepard leaned back on the medical bed to go over everything he's been told. He couldn't deny ever since he met Ashley his outlook on life has been substantially more positive. And truth be told he'd always credited the crew's steadfastness and their own ability during that stressful time. To think those two things were connected was… actually quite plausible now that he thought about it.

Because the honest truth was Ashley Williams did make him happier. Not a day went by he didn't think about the amazing few days they shared. Shepard knew if they served aboard the same ship they'd never be able to keep their relationship strictly professional, and there would be consequences should the Alliance ever learn of them. But it was Anderson's ship, and he'd made it very clear he brought Williams on for this very reason. Anderson was one of Shepard's oldest friends, and he could count on the older man to keep the brass off of him and Ashley.

If Shepard was right, the investigation into Saren would likely lead the _Normandy_ and its crew into highly dangerous missions. If Shepard were a sane man he'd never purposely push Ashley into harm's way. But Ashley Williams was one of the best soldiers he'd ever fought with, and he knew he'd need only the most seasoned and trustworthy hands watching his back.

And Anderson was right. Shepard could admit if he was going to do this, he needed something worth fighting for. And he knew he'd fight to every known edge of the galaxy just for her.

It was decided then. Ashley Williams would remain aboard the _Normandy_, and Shepard could already see her accompanying him on all of his ground mission alongside Kaidan Alenko. The three of them had shown great synergy as a team on Eden Prime.

Shepard just wasn't entirely clear on where the two of them stood. A one night stand and a single date hardly counted as a healthy relationship. Ash had said she wanted to come back to this eventually and see if it could work, but both of them had been assuming they'd be much older and lives wouldn't be hanging in the balance.

John knew he wanted to see what a relationship with Ashley could be like, but both of them were still new to this. Ever since Akuze Shepard kept most of his relationships with others strictly professional, and Ash didn't seem like the kind of girl who dated easily. They'd take things slowly, he decided. He'd give her time to adjust to ship life and deal with her men's' deaths properly. Hell, he'd be there to help whenever she wanted it. Shepard would wait as long she needed him to, because like he told himself so long ago, Ashley Williams was worth fighting for.

Feeling markedly better about himself, Shepard strutted out of the med bay, fully intending to go find Ashley.

Instead, he almost ran headlong into Kaidan.

"Woah there!" Kaidan cried out, barely sidestepping the burly commander. "I didn't expect you to be in such a rush after you woke up, sir."

Shepard righted himself and gave the other man a pat on the arm. "You could say I've been having some healthy introspection since I came back to the world of the living."

Kaidan visibly winced a bit. "You can joke about that now, but for a while there I seriously thought the worst. How are you feeling?"

Shepard shrugged. "Could be a lot better, but could be a lot worse too." Kaidan nodded a bit, but still looked a bit unsure. "Besides, you almost ran into me as much I almost ran into you. Where are you headed in such a hurry?"

Kaidan cast a significant glance to Shepard's right. "I was… looking for you, actually."

Shepard looked in that direction and felt his light mood dampen. Ashley sat alone at one of the mess hall tables, staring at the freshly made cup of tea sitting before her. She made no move to drink it, simply staring with a forlorn, blank expression on her face.

Shepard recognized that face from all the times he's stared at it in the mirror. That moment when you're stuck in one of life's quiet moments and you have nothing to comfort you but your memories. Ash was in the near catatonic state where she was remembering the events of what had happened, but viewed the images in a detached sort of way, unable to fully make the emotional connection yet.

"How's she been doing?" Shepard asked Kaidan.

He dragged a hand through his hair helplessly. "She was a wreck when we were dragging you back to the _Normandy._ I thought she might break down, but Chakwas said you were just knocked out, and she calmed. I convinced her to get cleaned up and eat some food while you were asleep, but after that she stuck to your bedside, worried I guess. A few minutes ago I saw her walk out of the med bay smiling, and she told me you'd woken up. Then she just started… this," he finished with a paltry gesture of his hand.

Kaidan gave Shepard a meaningful look. "Look, it's really none of my business, but Joker said you and Williams are sort of a thing. So I made her some tea and went looking for you. I thought maybe you could coax some life out of her."

Shepard gave him a sidelong glance. "I'll see what I can do." He started to move away, but turned back to Kaidan. "You should go get some rack time too. I imagine Anderson will want all three of us at the hearing once we get to the Citadel."

Kaidan nodded and walked off. With that done, Shepard turned back to Ash and took a seat next to her. She didn't respond to his presence immediately, too far lost in her own nightmares, so Shepard placed a careful hand on her shoulder.

Ash jumped only slightly, but brightened when she turned and saw him beside her. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

Shepard chuckled. "I'd be a very rich man if I had a credit for every time someone asked me that."

Ash gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Right, sorry. I was just worried since the Beacon- oh!" She had laced her hands together had been moving to rest them on the table when she nearly knocked over the mug before her. She turned to John with a confused expression. "You made me tea?"

"Uh, no, Kaidan did actually. He said you were kind of out of it."

"Oh," was all she replied with. Cautiously, she gripped the mug with both hands and brought it to her lips to take a small sip. She winced slightly and let out a humorless chuckle. "Alliance never did know where to get the good stuff."

Shepard smiled, but couldn't put any heart into it. Ash regained her far off look; the mug suspended an inch from her face.

John knew he'd have to be careful going forward. "Did Anderson tell you?" he asked slowly.

Ash shook her head. "A friend of mine, Lieutenant Taylor, messaged me a few hours after we left Eden Prime. He said he and his men drove out the Geth, but the only remaining 212 they found were all dead. And they haven't heard from anyone presumed MIA."

"Do you need to talk about it?" She might be calm now, but he remembered how bad it could get when all those emotions finally caught up to you. It might be in a few minutes or it might take years.

Ash pursed her lips, set her mug down, and leaned back in her seat. "I don't know. I guess it doesn't feel real yet." She looked down at the floor, solemn. "I've seen friends die before. It comes with being a marine. But seeing my whole unit wiped out is… And I don't think I could ever get used to seeing dead civilians."

"I'd be much more worried if you did." John leaned forward on the table to try and get a better view of her face. "I'd understand if you wanted to take some time off. Maybe talk to a psychiatrist…"

Ash placed a hand over his on the table, and John felt his words trail off. She turned to him with a meaningful gaze. "I know what you're trying to do. And believe me when I say I can't appreciate it enough. But right now I don't need to talk to some shrink." Her gaze hardened and some of the fire John fell for returned to her eyes. "Right now what I need is to find that bastard Saren and shove my boot straight up his Turian ass."

John felt himself smile genuinely. Here was the Ashley Williams he'd fallen for. The fighter who kept going even when the situation was at its bleakest.

He knew she couldn't put this off forever. Eventually her men's deaths would catch up to her. But John also knew he'd be there when that happened. And if he wanted to take down Saren he'd need fire like Ash's. Wherever John went, he knew he'd want this woman by his side.

John rose from his seat and offered Ash a hand up, which she accepted. "You know, we're coming up on the Citadel soon," he told her.

Ash smiled a bit in response to his lighter mood. "Alenko said that too. I hear it's a sight to behold."

"I've heard that too. And I know the best spot to see it from once we get there."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: That ended up being a lot longer than intended again. I thought about chopping it up, but all three scenes happen in such a small amount of time I would have felt weird doing so. <em>

_And so begins the actual ME1 arc of this story! I did some planning, and I have a much clearer plan for chapter content and what order they'll be posted in. At this point in time I'm predicting chapters may be posted once per week, given the amount of time I'm allowed to work on this in between school and life in general. _

_And once again, thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story so far. _


	6. Chapter 6 - Broken

Mass Effect and its character are owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Chapter 6 – Broken

* * *

><p>John Shepard stood in Ambassador Udina's office within the Human Embassy, leaning on the railing of its outside patio and gazing out over the Presidium. The entire Citadel was every bit as beautiful and calming the news outlets proclaimed it to be. Shepard stood there, taking in the lake and carefully maintained fauna enclosures, thinking over the day's events.<p>

In the space of a few hours, Shepard had found out his mentor Anderson was once a Spectre candidate years ago, realized the existence of a doomsday heralding race of aliens known as the Reapers, and exposed Saren Arterius for the traitorous terrorist he was. In addition, he'd also recruited three of the strangest aliens he'd ever met.

Garrus Vakarian, the disillusioned Turian C-Sec officer, and at the time Shepard's only lead when the Council took Saren' word over his. Vakarian was still young and a bit hotheaded, but he stuck to his own morals, not the ones his people tried to engrave into him. And his mastery with sniper rifles rivaled that of Ashley's, maybe even more so.

Wrex, the towering Krogan of death and mayhem. He may only be there for the danger and firefights joining with Shepard promised, but the Krogan was an impenetrable wall of muscle on the battlefield. Plus he'd worked well with Shepard and the others as a five man unit when they assaulted Fist's club. Wrex could follow orders and enjoyed killing; that was enough for Shepard.

Tali Zorah Nar Rayya, the peppy Quarian engineer who held the evidence cinching the trial against Saren. She'd shown she could handle herself in a firefight, and Shepard needed someone with such an intimate knowledge of the Geth to help combat them.

Alenko had taken things in stride, his biotics meshing well with Wrex's and swapping tech attacks with Vakarian. On the other hand, Ash never voiced her concerns, but Shepard could see her repeatedly shoot suspicious glances at all three aliens. They never outright talked about it, but a while ago Shepard sensed Ashley held some mild xenophobic tendencies. Despite that, on the battlefield she slipped easily into a combat routine with Vakarian and Wrex, and the three never showed any unease at working with each other when their lives depended on it.

It was quite possibly the most rag tag team Shepard had ever come up with. But they got the job done, and somehow Shepard knew he could trust them all to watch his back.

On top of all of that, Shepard had also been inducted in to the ranks of Special Tactics and Recon, the first human to ever officially do so. And Anderson passed on control of the _Normandy_ to Shepard, seeing as how the perfect Spectre would need the perfect ship.

Shepard stood there in silence while Anderson and the rest of his ground team chatted amicably. He hasn't fully absorbed the true weight of the past day's events yet. It may never feel real. A week ago becoming a Spectre and commanding his own ship both seemed like far off pipe dreams.

Someone came over and leaned on the rail beside him, and Shepard didn't have to look to know how it was. Shepard inherently knew what Ashley's presence felt like, and it never failed to calm him when she was near. She stood close, their shoulders only a few inches apart. Far enough to keep things professional, but close enough to let him know she was there for him.

"So are ship postings usually this exciting?" she asked him.

Shepard laughed quietly. "Only when you get lucky."

"I guess so." A pause. "So how's it all setting in? Becoming a Spectre is a pretty big deal. It hasn't already gone to that big head of your, has it?"

Shepard smiled as he shrugged. "I'm still getting there. What I do know is that it'll let me keep doing what I do best, only now I've got a lot less red tape holding me back." He bumped his shoulder with hers playfully. "Though I give it a week before I start abusing it all to hell."

He waited a moment to hear her retort, but none came. Confused, he turned to Ash and found her leaning farther over the rail and apparently looking at something down on the main floor of the Presidium.

"Ash?"

She snapped out of her trance and turned back to him. "What? Oh, sorry. I thought I saw something." She glanced warily at the door to the room and spoke without looking at Shepard. "Hey, I've got some… things to take care of while we're here. I'll meet you and the others back on the ship."

Utterly dumbfounded, Shepard could only mutter an 'alright' as she walked away at a brisk pace. What things could she possibly have to do aboard a space station she's only first stepped foot on a few hours ago? He watched her bypass the others and clear the doorway, and then she was gone. Obviously Shepard wasn't the only one to notice her abrupt absence, as Alenko walked over to him with a concerned look.

"What's up with Williams? She just brushed by me looking kinda agitated."

Shepard pursed his lips. Slowly, he said, "I don't know." He thought a moment and turned to face Alenko. "Look, why don't you take Wrex, Vakarian and Zorah back to the ship and help them get settled in. I think I have a few things to check out before we go."

"Sure thing." Alenko still looked wary, but headed off to round up the aliens and escort them to the _Normandy._

Once they were gone, Shepard exchanged a few more pleasantries and goodbyes with Anderson before making his leave. He made his way down the stairs to the common area, offering polite nods to those who noticed him. Before walking into the reception area, Shepard held back and opted to peer covertly around the corner. He was just in time to see Ashley say something out of earshot to another man before walking away. Shepard waited until she disappeared through the front entrance to the public area. After that he turned the corner and made his way to this other man who was now dry washing his hands nervously.

Coming up on him, Shepard could tell he was of Indian descent, and he looked to be later in his years judging by the graying hair. He was dressed formally, but Shepard could tell he was ill at ease with the situation and quite upset about something.

"Excuse me?" Shepard said once he was close enough.

The man turned to the sound of his voice. "Yes? Can I help you with- oh!" His eyes widened as realization dawned his face. "Commander Shepard!"

Shepard put on his best reassuring smile. "Yes, that would be me." He extended his hand, which the other man shook. "I was wondering if you've seen a crew member of mine. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams?"

The man adopted a small smile. "Yes, miss Williams did mention she was serving under your command now. She was just here speaking with me. I was overjoyed to learn she survived the events on Eden Prime. Oh! But where are my manners? Samesh Bhatia. Pleased to make your acquaintance, commander." He finished with a slight bow of his head.

The name clicked in Shepard's head, and his unease steadily grew. "Would that be any relation to Nirali Bhatia?"

Mr. Bhatia turned solemn. "I take it then Miss Williams has told you about my late wife."

Shepard's spirits sunk completely at that. "I'm sorry for your loss," he managed. He hated how petty those words were, but he didn't know anything other than platitudes he'd been given when his father passed away, or when typing condolence letters to the families of men he'd lost under his command.

Still, Mr. Bhatia seemed grateful for the sentiment. "Thank you, commander. Your words mean a great deal to me in this grave hour. And I must thank you as well for your and Miss William's assistance."

Shepard canted his head. "Our assistance?"

"Oh? I had thought your presence meant you were both… Ah, my apologies. I simply assumed you were here to help as well."

Shepard asked him what he meant, and Mr. Bhatia took a moment to think of how to fully explain the situation. "I had requested my wife's body be placed into my custody so that I may see to her funeral arrangements. However, the Alliance has informed me they cannot release her body, and the representative I met with refused to give me a proper explanation as to why."

His eyes grew pleading. "I only wish to lay my wife to rest, sir. I was at a loss as to what I could do to resolve this, but then Miss Williams approached me a few moments ago. I explained to her what I have just told you, and she offered to try and help convince the representative. I tried telling her she needn't go so far to help me, but she insisted. She walked off just before you arrived."

Shepard propped his chin in one hand. "Yeah, that sounds like something Ashley would do. Where did she go?"

Mr. Bhatia pointed to the street behind him. "To the same place I went to meet the representative, a human owned café a few blocks to the right. Miss Williams isn't tarnishing herself by helping me, is she?"

"Oh no. At least I don't think so. And seeing as I'm here now, I have no reason not to help in this matter. We'll be back to inform you once the situation with your wife is resolved."

"Thank you, commander," Bhatia said with a grateful smile. With that Shepard moved past him and made his way down the street.

As Shepard walked on by, his mind was an interesting muddle of different thoughts. He was certain Mr. Bhatia's concerns about Ashley being reprimanded for talking with an Alliance rep. were unwarranted. But Shepard wouldn't put it past Ashley to say or do something that might put her in a compromising position. The 212 had practically been family to her. And if Shepard knew her, Ashley wouldn't take an insult or transgression against her family kindly.

But beyond that, Shepard couldn't help feeling put out. He could understand this being a personal matter for Ashley, but Shepard thought they were close enough that Ash could trust information like this with him. Maybe Ash simply didn't trust him with something this sensitive, and that hurt more than it probably should have.

The café wasn't difficult to find, seeing as how it was primarily full of Alliance personnel and human politicians currently off duty. Shepard was worried he might make a scene when he walked in, seeing as how the news of his Spectre initiation was being blasted everywhere. However, his concerns were unfounded, as most of the patrons there were more interested in the small altercation happening toward the back.

Coming up to them, Shepard immediately recognized Ashley talking with a man he didn't know, whom Shepard guessed to be the Alliance rep. based on his somewhat nicer than average clothing. He looked young, and quite obviously spent much more time behind desks filling out reports and requisition orders than actually doing hands on work.

His face was pale from sheer terror, and Ash practically had him backed up against the wall, barring him from moving with her words rather than her fists. Though they kept their conversation quiet, it was clear the topic only served to agitate Ashley. Shepard started catching snippets of words as he got closer.

"-have to understand, miss Williams." The man was practically begging. "The tests we run on Mrs. Bhatia's body-"

"Won't count for jack shit," she cut him off with. "Take it from someone who's actually been shot at. Looking at bullet wounds only tells you how big the gun was. You might think otherwise, but keeping Bhatia's body from her family won't yield some big discovery. Why don't you do something useful with your time actually take a look at the guns that fired the rounds?"

She stepped forward and really got in his face. Ashley wasn't exactly a tall woman, but the way she made the man cower made him appear a whole lot smaller than her. "Keeping people's bodies form their loved ones is low. Commander Shepard and I are out there fighting to protect people like you and stop this kind of shit from happening!"

The man held up his hands in surrender. "Alright! It was hard enough turning away Mr. Bhatia, I won't say no to you as well. I'll see to it his wife's body is returned to his family."

Ashley grabbed the scruff of his shirt and forced his head down to look him in the eye. Her voice took on a low, dangerous growl. "You know that's not good enough."

"I-I'll make sure the whole 212 makes it back to their families! I'll even oversee the transfer myself!"

They stood there for a moment, and Shepard was afraid Ashley might do something to escalate the situation. But she released his shirt and with a gesture of her head, the man practically ran off. He bowled past Shepard, barely getting out a pardon, and Shepard watched the man go until he was out of view of the café.

He turned back to Ashley and found her pinching the bridge of her nose while she shook her head. Shepard could sympathize. This wasn't the first time an unwise decision from up the chain of command made his job harder than it had to be.

Shepard stepped closer to her. "Williams."

She visibly stiffened and muttered "Shit" under her breath. She turned to face him, keeping her emotions hidden behind a stoic mask. "How much of that did you see?"

"Just the tale end." Shepard glanced around the café, and more than few patrons quickly turned back to their tables and pretended to be engrossed in their own topics. This wasn't a conversation to be had in public. He gestured to the entrance. "Come on, we'll talk outside."

Ash followed him out of the cafe. They walked back to the embassies side by side in awkward silence. Shepard was thinking of the best way to approach the situation, and he could guess Ash was deciding on how best to explain herself. She hadn't exactly lost her temper per se, but how Ash had spoken to the man was extremely unprofessional. Shepard wouldn't put it past him to seek action against her. Sure, Shepard could wave off any charges with his newly minted Spectre status, but it would just be some unpleasantness that could have been avoided.

"So how pissed are you right now?" Ash eventually asked.

Shepard blew out a breath. "Honestly I'm more disappointed you didn't think to tell me about what you were doing. I would have gladly helped once Mr. Bhatia explained the situation."

Ashley glanced at him warily. "So Samesh told you about his problem?"

"He told me the Alliance was withholding his wife's body and that you agreed to try and resolve the dispute. So exactly why were they holding her body? Something about tests?"

"The rep. said their scientists were studying the wounds her body took from the Geth weaponry. They thought it might help them understand how the machines' guns work. I called his bullshit and told him to spend his time doing something more productive, like actually studying the guns themselves."

Shepard hummed thoughtfully. He looked at her, and he could plainly see Ashley was ill at ease with the situation. She was likely going over what she said and starting to see how poorly chosen her words might have been. Shepard knew she wasn't in the wrong; it was just how she handled herself.

"For what it's worth, I think you're right. Looking at wounds wouldn't provide the information they wanted. And at the same time it only keeps their families from finding solace."

Ash was silent for a moment. "Thanks," she said without any inflection.

"But," Shepard continued, "that doesn't really excuse borderline threatening an Alliance representative." A pause. "No matter how much they probably deserved it."

Shepard glanced at Ashley to see a small smirk on her face. "I might have been a bit too hard on the kid. Just a little."

"Eh, the kid looked like a stern talking to every now and again wouldn't hurt." That got a small chuckle out of her. "Just try to keep in mind most of the people we're going to meet aren't military grunts like us, and in most cases we're not really allowed to yell them into submission."

"Well, maybe I'm not, but from what I understand Mr. Spectre over here is allowed to yell at whoever he wants."

"Within _reason_." Shepard amends, chuckling himself.

Ashley looked pensive for a moment before turning to him. "I am sorry about keeping you out of the loop. My people, my problem. I didn't want to waste your time."

"I already waste enough of my own time that anything you ask me to do won't set me back any more than I already have," he replied. "Besides, you're my crew now. I'd do just about anything to help you sort out a personal problem, even if you weren't my girlfriend."

Ash faltered in her stride by the slightest amount. He'd have probably missed it if he hadn't been watching for it. Obviously she hadn't been expecting those words.

She turned to him with an expectant gaze. "You're serious about this, then?"

Shepard nodded and spoke without any doubt. "Of course I am. There's no reason why I wouldn't be."

"I don't know if you've noticed, but we're kinda hunting a down a rogue Spectre with an army of Geth." Ash looked away, the doubt clear in her features. "A mission like this is too important, and you don't need someone… distracting you. I'd completely understand if you wanted to hold off on us. At least until after Saren's behind bars."

"Well try seeing this from my point of view. A story like this would suck if the dashing hero didn't get the beautiful maiden in the end."

Ash smiled but sighed, exasperated. "You really can't take anything seriously, can you?"

"How's this for serious." Impulsively, John turned about face and took hold of Ashley's hand, making her stop and face him. The pair were a mere foot apart, and any traces of joviality or uncertainty were swept form their faces. It was rather intimate given how close they were, and any other passerby on the street could see them. But for the life of him John couldn't bring himself to care.

"I want to be with you Ashley Williams. I'm more certain of that than I have been of anything else in years. And knowing you're on the same ship as me, watching my six in a firefight, puts me at ease more than having a fleet of dreadnoughts at my back."

Ashley gasped lightly as John took a half step forward and invaded her personal space, but she did not dare move away. John stared into her large brown eyes, looking back at him with such an earnestness that made his heart quake. Her scent filled his mind, a mixture of vanilla soap and grease and her own sweetness that was a heady aroma all her own, and it invaded every corner of his mind. But instead of feeling his judgment being clouded, he could see with sharp clarity, and he knew what he needed.

"I need you by my side, Ash. If I'm jumping straight into hell I want to know the woman I care about most in this galaxy will be waiting for me when I get back." John paused, trying to think of how he could possibly express himself.

"You make me want to be a better man."

Ash stared at him for a moment with her mouth slightly agape, stunned into silence. She finally tore her gaze away, staring off into space with an expression John didn't recognize. Bewilderment, maybe.

"If I came on too strong…" he tried.

"No!" In an instant her gaze found his again and her other hand came to grip his in both of hers. "No. This is just a lot to take in. Surviving a Geth attack, then hunting down evidence against a rogue Spectre, and on top of all that the first human Spectre says he wants to be in a relationship with me? It's a bit more than I can handle right now."

John rested his remaining hand on her own. "I'd understand if you needed time to think this over."

Ash shook her head, and John couldn't detect any doubt in her features. "I don't need time to think. At least not about us. The last time we saw each other I told you I wanted to come back to this. Come back to what we have and see if we could make it work. So I'll be damned if I let Alliance regs or a Turian with a hard on for synthetics come between me and what I want."

Coyly, Ash checked the immediate area around them. Before John could ask what she was doing, Ash leaned up and planted the smallest but most meaningful of kisses on his lips, and he felt a flush crawl up his neck. The both of them were smiling as she pulled away.

"Because what I want is to be with you John Shepard. And I know I'm certain about that."

John felt his chest warm as it filled up with giddiness. "You make a very persuasive argument, miss Williams."

Ash only smiled sweetly in response. After a moment she finally pulled away but refused to let go of his hand with one of her own. "Come one. We shouldn't keep Mr. Bhatia waiting."

John let her take the lead from there, the pair walking side by side in content silence and never breaking the contact of their hands until they reached the embassy.

They found Mr. Bhatia sitting in one of the reception area chairs, but he quickly stood and approached them when he noticed their arrival.

He looked anxious and spoke at a fast pace. "Do you have any news about my wife?"

Ash looked to Shepard, so he took the initiative. "Your wife is coming home, Mr. Bhatia. Williams reminded the representative of just what exactly the Alliance stood for and he saw reason."

Relief instantly swept across Mr. Bhatia features and the tension left his shoulders. "Oh thank you commander! Thank you both so very much." He stepped forward and shook each of their hands vigorously.

Mr. Bhatia took a step back and seemed to sober. "I cannot say this will bring me happiness. But maybe it will bring me and our family peace. I cannot thank you enough, but I hope you both may find happiness of your own in the future."

Shepard glanced at the exact moment to catch Ashley's eyes. He saw just how much lighter she stood now that they'd helped the family of her friend.

_I'm pretty sure I already found that._

"If you'll excuse me, there are arrangements I must attend to now."

Mr. Bhatia began to turn and walk away, but Ashley jumped forward. "Mr. Bhatia, wait!"

He turned back to her with undivided attention. "Yes, miss Williams?"

Ashley stood straighter, steeling her resolve. "This might not mean much coming from me, sir, but… Nirali loved you very much. She would stay up late listening to the voice recordings you sent her, and she constantly talked about how much she missed your cooking or about all the different places you went when you were both younger. She'd count down every day she was closer to talking to you again. I cannot express how sorry I am she's gone now."

Shepard knew Ash was saying that for her own benefit as much as Mr. Bhatia's. He knew Ash likely blamed herself for her men's deaths, and apologizing to a widow was her way of making amends to herself.

Shepard looked to Bhatia, and he saw the man's eyes welling up with barely restrained emotion. "Believe me, miss Williams, it means the world to me hearing that coming from you. Thank you."

Mr. Bhatia began to walk away again, but something seemed to cross his mind, and he turned back to Ashley. "I would like you to know miss Williams my wife only had the utmost respect for you, and that she considered you to be a dear friend. She only ever had words of praise for you when she told me of your endeavors together. If she could speak to us now, I am certain she would say she was extremely proud to have served under your command, and she would not blame you for her death as you likely blame yourself."

Shepard stood rigid with shock. Very rarely did the family ever return condolences they were being given. A glance at Ash told him she was reeling worse than him. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hung open, and she spoke in a quiet, meek tone. "Thank you, sir."

Mr. Bhatia folded his arms behind his back and, looking between them, bade them good day. With that he turned and walked away.

Shepard blew out the breath of air he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Turning to Ash, he said, "Well that was certainly unex… Ash?"

Shepard instantly grew worried. A moment ago she'd been calm and collected, but now he saw she was fidgeting constantly, her eyes were darting in every direction but never focusing, and her breathing had become short and shallow.

Shepard reached out a hand to ground her. "Ash? Is something-"

Without warning, Ash pivoted on her heel and all but ran out of the embassy entrance. Alarmed, Shepard gave chase. He followed her out of the embassy and to the right down the street. Other pedestrians veered off to the side, afraid to be bowled over by two Alliance marines donned in full military gear as they sped past.

Ashley ignored John's calls. At one point he caught up to her and gripped her shoulder to try and stop her, but Ash gruffly shook her arm from his grasp. He trailed on after her, helpless, watching as her eyes darted back and forth between different buildings.

Suddenly her gaze locked on something in particular, and Ash abruptly turned with John on her heels. He noted she was heading toward an elevator, specifically one they'd taken earlier which led to an access to the upper Wards.

The elevator door swung open as they neared, and once inside Ash stabbed a button without checking to see what it actually did. As the door closed and the elevator began to descend, Ashley resumed her rapid movement by pacing continuously in the small confines of the compartment, haphazardly raking a hand through her hair.

If John wasn't worried before, he was now. Ash had a look of pure terror as her eyes saw something his didn't. It only distressed him more not knowing what was wrong and how there was nothing he could do to help.

"Ashley!" he tried again. If she heard him Ash made no move to acknowledge him. She only kept pacing frantically in the small elevator. John finally had enough, and he forcefully pushed himself into her path and gripped her arms. Ashley continued to thrash a bit in his arms, but finally stood still, her eyes staring at his chest but seeing beyond it.

"Ash, I need you to calm down. Just please tell me what's wrong!"

"Nirali's dead," she blurted out, her words heavy with emotion.

That made John pause. "Yes, Nirali's not here with us anymore. But you made sure she went back to her husband, remember?"

"No." Ashley screwed her eyes shut and shook her head violently. She latched her hands to his arms in a vice like grip. "No no no. Nirali's dead. They're all dead! They're all dead and it's all my fault!"

_On no._ John told himself he'd been expecting this. But he thought he'd have more time to prepare what he'd say. He hoped this would happen on-board the _Normandy,_ maybe during a night shift when Ash wasn't working and her memories caught up to her. He hadn't been prepared for this to happen out in public, where others could see.

Mr. Bhatia. He likely triggered this. Not on purpose of course. But insuring Ash what happened on Eden Prime wasn't her fault simply brought back up all the feelings she had been trying to repress. Mr. Bhatia may not blame her, but that didn't stop Ash from blaming herself.

"Oh god, Ash." John threw an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She buried her face into his neck and John brought his other hand up to comb through her hair, trying to calm her down. He could feel liquid trailing down his neck as sobs began to wrack her body.

She tried to speak between gasps of air. "They trusted me. They trusted me to lead them… and I failed them. I _killed_ them."

"Stop it." John implored quietly, hugging her tight to his body. He tried so hard to make her feel safe in his arms, to keep her grounded. "You had no way of preparing for what happened. It wasn't your fault."

Ash only shook her head against his neck. "I should have known it was a trap. I should have been able to save them, but I was too stupid and scared to do anything. I deserved to die back there, not them."

John's heart broke for her. He knew this wasn't the Ash he'd fallen for talking, but these weren't outright lies. Somewhere deep down she'd been thinking about this and on some level she believed her own words.

The elevator dinged, alerting them they'd arrived at their floor, and John cursed. They couldn't stay here, as other people likely needed to use the elevator. Moving quickly, John kept Ash close as he led her through the door and past a startled pair of Asari. Looking about, he spotted maintenance door leading to a secluded room. He used his Spectre status to deal with the lock, and he and Ash stepped inside.

It was a server room of some kind, probably used for maintaining some of the less important electrical facilities nearby. The lights were turned down much lower than the brightness of the public hallways and streets of the Presidium. John led Ash behind one machine to ensure they had privacy in case someone suddenly walked in.

He finally released Ashley and made her lean back against the wall, keeping his hands gripped on her shoulders to steady her. She still had her eyes closed in a sort of grimace, and he saw she was clenching her teeth something fierce.

"Look at me, Ash," he demanded in a soft but authoritative voice. But Ashley only shook her head again; too afraid to fully come to terms with what was happening.

"Ash, please look at me!" He was practically begging now.

Slowly, she eased eyelids open, and Ash looked up at him with clear sorrow and grief. John could see just how flushed her skin was from how upset she was.

John leaned down to look at her at eye level, and he spoke in a slow, calm voice. "Listen to me. What happened on Eden Prime was not your fault. There was no way you could have prepared for a Geth attack. The only person to blame here is Saren. He's the one who killed your friends. You did everything you possibly could have in a situation like that."

"No I didn't! If I did than Bhatia would still be alive. So would Morley, and Sanders, and Brandson…" A hand came up to grip her forehead. "Oh god, Brandson. He gave his life just so I could get away. My life isn't worth any more than his!"

"Yes it is!" John replied emphatically. He'd seen the report Ash had written while he was comatose. Brandson would have never gotten away with an injury like his. So instead he chose to save the life of a dear friend rather than drag her down with him. "Brandson knew you'd only get yourself killed if you stayed behind, and it was his choice to sacrifice himself so you could live."

"But why should I be alive while he's dead?" Ash yelled at him. She pushed off the wall and into him, balling up her fists on John's chest. "Who was he to decide what was best for me?"

"He was your friend!" he yelled back, and Ashley quieted. John gripped her hands in his own and leaned in closer, so he could really stare into the brown depths of eyes and making her believe his words. Lowering his voice substantially, he said, "He was your friend, and he was a marine. He knew he wasn't walking away from that fight, but he made sure you could. He cared about you enough to see past only thinking about himself."

Ash clearly looked like she wanted to argue, but deep down she knew what John said to be true, and no words would come. Instead, she leaned forward and buried her face in his chest as a fresh bout of tears came to the surface. John looped a hand around her neck and kept her close, whispering soothingly into her hair. He could feel her legs starting to quake, so John eased their bodies to the floor so that they were kneeling in front of each other.

They stayed like that for a long time. John used the one hand to massage the back of neck to calm her down, while the other held onto Ash's hands and kept her anchored to him. Ashley's sobs continued, but waned slowly over time.

John knew she'd never fully recover from what happened. All she could do was pull as many pieces as possible back together and keep going on. He knew because he'd lived through it too, a long time ago. John knew he could never truly fix her, but he remembered words from his past that Ash probably needed to hear right now.

Speaking softly, he said, "Listen to me, Ash. You don't have to answer to any of this, but there are some things I need to say. Is that alright?"

John waited a moment, and when Ash didn't answer, he took it as a cue to continue. Taking a deep breath, he said, "I can't promise you this will get better, because that would be a complete lie. This will hurt for a long, long time. I doubt you'll ever actually forget about the pain you've been put through. It will be a scar of your soul, not merely your body. And it will mark you for the rest of your days."

John paused, letting his words sink in. "But more than that, it will help define you as well. Tragedy like this can destroy us if we let it. But if we find the strength to keep going, the will to rise above the grief and anger, then we get to walk away taller, a better person than who we once were. If you don't let what happened drag you down, than it will hold you up and make you stronger.

"I know what your men meant to you. And I know the lingering doubt saying you could have done more to save them will always haunt you. And years from now, you'll still remember the pain of losing them. But if you give yourself time to grieve, to let the unseen wounds heal, eventually you won't remember the day you lost them. You'll start to remember the days you spent with them. You'll remember all the times you laughed and cried together. Eventually you'll be able to look back on the days with your friends and be happy for the time you spent with them.

"I can't promise you this pain and grief you feel right now will ever fully go away. But I can promise this too will eventually pass, and eventually you'll be able to rise above it, and you'll use this to make yourself stronger. Because you owe it to your men not to wallow in the past, and to continue living your life."

John hadn't needed to hear those words in a long time. He thought himself strong enough to move on. It wasn't until he met Ashley that he realized he hadn't been truly living his own life and allowing himself to dimply be happy.

Ash was quiet for a while, no longer sobbing inconsolably. Only the occasional sniffle escaped her.

"I'm sorry," she quietly said eventually, shaking her head into his chest. "I'm so sorry."

John rested his cheek on her head, trying to will the warmth he felt for her through the connection. "You don't have to be sorry about anything. No one can walk through the jaws of death and come out unscathed. All we can do is pick ourselves up and keep going."

She took a deep, shuddering breath. "Is this what it felt like? After Akuze?"

John closed his eyes, briefly reliving those first few months after that fateful mission. Remembered how lost he felt and all the resentment toward life in general. He'd moved on far from that bitter young man, but he knew he'd never be truly rid of the nightmares.

"If it's not, then it's damn near close."

Ash stayed silent for a moment, absorbing everything he'd just told her. Then she picked her head up and rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him with those big, soulful eyes he could always get lost in.

"What you just said. Is that what someone told you?"

John nodded solemnly. "Anderson got tired of seeing me so listless. One day he sat me down and told me what I just told you." He looked up to the ceiling, a wistful expression briefly crossing his face. "I don't think I truly started healing until after that."

They sat there for a while, staring into each other's eyes, communicating more with their gaze than their words. Again, John was reminded of why he cared for this woman. Ash just went through a mental breakdown, and she'd already came back to herself far sooner than he ever had. He watched as the fears and doubts left her eyes, replaced with confidence and the affinity she shared for him.

John looked away at one point, suddenly feeling somewhat guilty. "Actually, I might have left out one part."

"What is it?"

He blew out a breath. "Anderson said it was always better to have someone helping to support you. At the time I didn't understand. I never wanted someone else to see just how broken I felt inside."

He moved his hand to caress her cheek, and Ash leaned into his touch. "I thought I was fine for a long time, thinking I'd moved on. But then I met you, and I realized I'd been wallowing in my own self-pity and loathing. It felt like I never allowed myself to just be happy ever since Akuze."

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to her own. "You've helped me so much more than I could have imagined. And I know I don't want to make you go through this alone. I want you to know that I'm here for you, whenever you feel like you need me."

Ashley stared at him, drinking in the sight of this man who has pledged himself so completely to her. Suddenly, she gripped his collar and pulled his lips crashing into her own.

John flashed back to the kiss they shared on Arcturus, standing on the catwalk overlooking the backdrop of space. It was not a kiss of physical need, but one of assurance and emotion. One that made promises of how they would always be there for each other, of how they could trust each other, and how they'd support each other when they needed it.

Ash pulled away, breathless, and pulled him into a crushing hug. "Thank you," was all she said, needing no other words.

John returned the embrace with equal intensity. "You don't have to thank me. I care about you, and so long as I'm here, you'll never have to deal with any of this alone."

Ash let out a shaky laugh, and John considered it a small victory. Gingerly, he began to stand and Ash followed suit. They held each other at arm's length, and John heart soared to see the small smile Ash gave him.

"Better?" he asked.

Ash looked down a moment, thinking of the best answer. In a thick voice, she said, "Better. I can't say good yet, not right now. But I'm getting there."

John squeezed her hands. "I've learned it's better to take small victories then let them pass during the long haul."

Her smile grew and her hands squeezed back. John could see the normal color of her skin returning as she calmed down.

Satisfied Ash was okay for now at least, he began to lead her out of the maintenance room. "Come on. If we take too long the crew might start to worry."

Ash followed him back to the elevator, making sure to keep their hands intertwined. As it ascended back to the Presidium, Ash leaned on John's shoulder, tired from the day's events.

She let out an exhausted breath. "God, I'm such a wreck."

John placed a kiss atop her head. "You're no worse than anyone else who's dealt with trauma. Just give it time, and you'll see things will get better."

Ash hummed affirmatively. After a moment she pulled her head away, fixing John with a quizzical stare. "So how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"How do you, I don't know… just keep going? How did you put your past behind you and keeping move on with your life?"

John looked away, growing solemn. "Truth be told I never really put Akuze behind me. I've just had enough time to learn how to hide the pain and bury it away. It wasn't until I met you I felt like I actually started to move on."

"I guess that's why we're together, huh?"

John turned back to her, perplexed. "What do you mean?"

Ash shrugged. "I mean we're both broken on some level. If you or I tried dating anyone else we'd just end up scaring them off, because they wouldn't know what it is we actually need."

She squeezed his hand as she smiled up at him. "But not us. You could never scare me, because I know just what it is that scares you. The reason we're together is because we know how to fix each other."

John grinned back at her. "So you're saying we're just a couple of defunct mechanics?"

She shoved him with her shoulder. "You know I'm terrible with this sentimental crap. Just bear with me."

John laughed as he placed an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. In a much more serious voice, he said, "I do know what you mean. And quite frankly I'd never trust anyone to fix me besides you."

Ashley beamed, and her dark brown eyes crinkled with happiness. She placed her palm on his cheek and pulled him into one last passionate kiss before the elevator doors opened.


	7. Chapter 7 - Regulations

_Pre Author's Note: _

_First of all, I am soooo sorry it took this long to post this next chapter. My computer crapped out last weekend and I only got it back from our tech guy a few days ago._

_Secondly, a warning to fans of Garrus, Tali, and Wrex. There is some mild character bashing in this chapter, and while they don't necessarily reflect my opinions, I am trying to portray how Ash feels in this part of the story. I'm just telling fans of the lovable alien characters not to take what I say personally. _

Mass Effect and its characters are owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts.

Chapter 7 - Regulations

Ashley slid the now thoroughly cleaned barrel back into place. She made sure it was secure, then snapped the muzzle of the side arm back to handle. Before reattaching the slide, Ash integrated one of the Recoil Damper units Shepard had picked up after one of their firefights on the Citadel. She secured it to the chassis, right in front of the trigger guard, and ran a program with her Tool to make sure it synced with the side arm. With that taken care of, she reattached the slide, making sure it adequately protected the small mass accelerator in the back of the gun. To finish, she replaced all of the pins and screws necessary to keep all of the pieces together.

Ash picked up a dummy clip from her work table and slid it into the handle. The side arm's integrated computer indicated it now had a full clip of virtual rounds. Ash ran another simulation, making the computer believe five rounds had been fired. The supply of 'ammunition' was replenished by the small mass effect field generator in a time of two and a half seconds. Much faster than the time taken when Ash originally found it thanks to the Heat Sink mod she put in as well.

She hit a button on the side of the grip, and it collapsed into its deactivated form and its warning lights flashed from red to green. It barely made a squeak of noise the parts were so clean and properly affixed.

For the final test, she placed it onto the magnetic clip affixed to the belt on her waist. She ran another simulation, this one designed to sync up the side arm computer with her hard suit, and by extension the magnetic clamps holding her guns in placed. Then, Ash pretended to draw her gun suddenly on an enemy. Understanding it was being 'unholstered', the side arm extended its components into its active state, the lights now switched back to red to indicate it was armed. The action was so smooth Ash barely felt any change in the weight distribution.

Smiling proudly to herself, Ash clicked the safety on the Kessler 3 pistol and discharged the dummy ammo reserve. She then placed it on the work bench next to her Haliat 1 Assault Rifle, Python 2 Sniper Rifle, and Storm 2 Shotgun. Each one had received more live and care than tiger cubs being cleaned by their mother. Ash always made sure her equipment was in tip top condition. Especially now, as Shepard informed her yesterday she would be accompanying him and the Quarian to a planet in the Hades Gamma Cluster to find a missing survey team.

She didn't know what to make of the Quarian, Tali Zorah… something something. Ash didn't think the alien to be as capable as Shepard thought she was. Sure, Zorah had gotten the upper hand against Fist's men in the alleyway with her tech grenade, but she didn't have a plan after that. Ash was certain Zorah would be dead right now if Shepard and his team hadn't shown up.

Still, Zorah knew a hell of a lot more about Geth than any of the rest of them did, and she knew about a lot of tech that went way over Ashley's head. But it was obvious the girl was young, naïve, and likely wasn't used to the firefights Ash and Shepard usually found themselves in. Ash was worried of Zorah becoming a liability on the battlefield, rather than an asset.

For the umpteenth time, Ash tried telling herself she wasn't irked by just how easy it was for Zorah to get on board the Normandy.

Ash heard a loud bellow off to her left, and her smiled damped into a scowl. Looking over, she found the Krogan… Wrex, in front of his locker, working on his own guns. He withdrew his Scimitar 1 Shotgun and began dissecting parts to see the inner workings. It wasn't a bad gun, but its bigger than average punch came at the cost of any kind of accuracy. He opened up the firing chamber and gave it a superfluous look over before going, "Eh, looks good enough." Foregoing any kind of care, Wrex slapped the pieces back together.

Ash felt her scowl deepen. Wrex she had no worries about holding his own in a fight. That's what put her on edge. Krogan were notoriously quick to anger, and a _biotic_ Krogan Wrex's size could cause a lot of damage inside of a small ship like the _Normandy._ Wrex had made it clear he wasn't here for Shepard, but for the hunt and fighting and explosions chasing down Saren would surely bring. Ash trusted the Krogan as far as she could throw him, and she was pretty sure Wrex was heavy enough without the armor.

Still, Ash wouldn't be happy right now even if Wrex was human. Guns were not just tools to be used and manhandled. They were extensions of the body, and like any body part should be maintained and kept sacred. Wrex's disregard for his weaponry made her blood boil. Ash had a feeling they'd quickly burn through all the guns Shepard tended to scrounge and/or pilfer with how fast Wrex was certain to put them through the ringer.

Next, Wrex rummaged through his locker and pulled out a wicked looking blade. He then set about attaching it underneath the muzzle of his shotgun. Another thing about Krogan; they really liked getting close and personal.

"You sure that thing's legal in Council Space?" she called out to him.

"Probably not!" Wrex returned smugly. "But the legal stuff's never as much fun to use. Besides, this is a Spectre ship. Where we're going, I don't think anyone will care about a little knife."

Little indeed. The bayonet was longer her forearm and it looked sharp enough to pierce Thresher Maw hide, plus it was serrated like a buzz saw. Ash supposed they needed something stronger than standard issue army knives to deal with Geths' metallic chassis, but what Wrex had in mind just seemed wholly barbaric.

Ash was about to give a witty retort when they both heard the elevator to the cargo bay opening up. She watched as Shepard stepped out and made his way to the far wall, toward the Mako and Officer Vakarian. For whatever reason the Turian assigned himself as something of a chief engineer in charge of Mako maintenance and upgrades.

Of the three aliens currently on board the _Normandy,_ Ash was sure she could trust Vakarian the least. Sure, he was good with tech, and Ash had to grudgingly admit he was better with sniper rifles than she was. But he was still ex Turian military, and Ash knew Vakarian was a highly esteemed name in their society. Vakarian had told them he thought of Saren not as an enemy who happened to be Turian, but as a 'bare-faced' traitor to their people. Ash had a feeling if push came to shove, Vakarian would choose his people over a human ship every time. She wouldn't put is past him to be recording data about the _Normandy_ and sending it back to his military.

Obviously Vakarian gave him a satisfying report, as Shepard nodded and walked away, toward Ash's side of the cargo bay. It looked as though he meant to go talk with her, but he glanced sideways and noticed Wrex fiddling with his gun and bayonet. Shepard stepped up in front of the burly Krogan, crossing his arms and adopting an authoritative stance.

Wrex regarded him impassively. "Shepard."

"Wrex. Is that a _Slakt_ Blade?"

The Krogan eyed the commander warily. "It might be."

Slowly, without drawing attention, Ash subtly pulled out a live ammo reserve for her side arm and placed it on her table.

"Uh huh. Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't those banned in the Council Ordinance of 831 CE? Something about being too barbaric and wounds inflicted being untreatable?"

Wrex scoffed. "So a bunch of squishy Asari and Salarians didn't like the knives we Krogan made to deal with each other. Big whoop. You'd think the Genophage was already enough to curtail us."

"And you know I sympathize with you in that regard. Given the choice, I'd much rather my knives be taken away rather than being sterilized."

That took Ash by surprise. From what she knew of alien history, the Krogan Rebellions over a thousand years ago had been especially bloody compared to other galactic wars. The Council's hands were tied, and if they didn't deploy the Genophage to reduce Krogan repopulation numbers, the Krogan likely would have continued bombing planets into oblivion with giant asteroids.

Hearing Shepard say he didn't support the idea of a birth rate altering genetic mutation virus wasn't surprising coming from him. But circumstances mattered. Krogan were tough enough to kill as is, and if it weren't for the Genophage, there could have been a lot more of them around today. Ash normally agreed with Shepard's opinions, but right now she thought his idealism was misplaced.

Shepard continued in his calm but authoritative voice. "But right now a lot of aliens don't like there being a human Spectre already. And several of my superiors in the Alliance really don't like how I'm letting aliens aboard my ship. Both of those parties will jump on any chance to make my life harder than it has to be."

Wrex's upper lip curled slightly. "What? Are you telling me you're afraid of a bunch of spineless politicians?"

"You wound me, Wrex. But no, I'm not 'afraid' of them." Shepard leaned in closer, but far enough he didn't invade the Krogan's personal space too much. "But what I certainly don't look forward to are the hearings and meetings they'll drag me into about it."

The Krogan snarled. "Meetings?"

"Yup. Long, drawn out procedures where they explain every last minute detail about why exactly _Slakt_ Blades are illegal and why I can't have them onboard and blah blah blah. You know how bureaucrats can be sometimes."

Ash wasn't great at reading Krogan, but she could see the realization dawn on him once he thought about it. "And if you're stuck in meetings it'll just take longer before was can kill stuff again."

Shepard only leaned back and nodded, sporting a smug smile. Wrex harrumphed and shook his head. "You aliens make it really hard to kill stuff."

"That we do, Wrex. Hell, I'd let you swing around a war hammer if they'd let me. But as is, you and I really shouldn't push our luck."

Wrex considered the options, then after a moment began taking the bayonet off of the shotgun. "Alright Shepard, you win. I know a good black market dealer on the Citadel. As soon as we dock there again, the knife's gone." The Krogan's disappointment was clear to see.

Shepard uncrossed his arms and shrugged. "Sorry Wrex. Them's the rules. Though I figured if an enemy ever got that close you'd just head-butt them to death."

Wrex chuckled deep and gravely. "Yeah, but's that only fun the first dozen times. After a while it just starts to give you a headache."

Shepard laughed incredulously. "Wrex."

"Shepard."

Ash rolled her eyes. She wondered if they realized just how dumb their customary greetings and farewells sounded.

Before anymore obstacles could delay him, Shepard hurriedly walked over to the station Ashley had claimed as her own. "Williams."

"We start greeting each other on a one name basis like you and your boy toy over there and I will kick your ass," she informed him. Where any other CO would immediately berate Ash for her uncouth way of addressing them, Shepard only broke out into a larger smile.

"I'm going to choose not to look up the translation for that particular title." Wrex called over. He fixed Ashley with a malign glare. "Though I'm assuming it's something flattering."

"Only the best for you, big guy." Ash responded.

Wrex only grumbled unbelievably. He then seemed to notice something, and raised his nostrils into the air and took a few quick whiffs. Scowling at something Ash couldn't see, Wrex pushed himself away from his spot on the wall and walked away toward the elevator.

"What's gotten into him?" Ash asked Shepard, nodding to the retreating Krogan.

Watching him go, Shepard only shook his head. "Damned if I know. Wrex kinda just does what he wants." He turned back to her and gestured to the weapons on her work bench. "Doing some maintenance I see."

"Yeah, I was just about to get started on my armor too. It might be the third time I've checked them over, but it never hurts to be too thorough."

Shepard's brow furrowed. "You've had time to completely clean and recheck your equipment three times already?"

Embarrassed, Ash crossed her arms behind her back in a somewhat defensive posture. "Well, I wasn't slated to serve on the _Normandy_ originally, remember? So I don't really have a set list of duties assigned to me. Alenko's in charge of the marine detail, so he sort of appointed me as the arms master."

Shepard nodded in understanding. "Right. But beyond cataloguing all our guns and making sure they're properly maintained, there's really not much for you to do." Ash nodded, and Shepard propped his chin on his hand, thinking. After a moment, he said, "I really can't think of anything right now. Let me talk to Alenko and we'll see if we can come up with something suitable for you."

"That's all I can ask for." Ash moved past him to her locker and pulled out her Phoenix Armor. She placed it on the work table backside up and opened the Kinetic Barrier generator in the utility belt, a stoic expression on her face as she worked. Shepard leaned on the table beside her, looking worried and a bit perplexed.

"You alright?" he asked her. Ash turned to face him, expectant, and he said, "You just seem quieter than usual."

He leaned in close and his voice took on a concerned note. "If you're still hung up about the 212 you know I'm here to talk…"

Ash put a hand on his chest and pushed him away only slightly, but gave him a small, assuring smile. "I appreciate it," she told him honestly. "But right now I just want to work and keep my mind off of things."

Shepard took her hand in his own, massaging the back of it reassuringly with his thumb. Ash enjoyed the warmth of the contact, though Shepard still appeared concerned. "You shouldn't bury stuff like this down. It'll only come back later. I learned that the hard way."

"I'm not!" she defended. More quietly, she continued, "I'm still letting it sink in I guess. I still think about the 212 every day, but the ache I get when start doing that is getting to be a little less each time. I just don't like to dwell on things. Especially if I have a job to do."

The answer seemed to placate him, as Shepard relaxed somewhat. "So you're okay?"

Ash turned and leaned on the table with him, looking up at the ceiling. After she thought for a moment, she said, "I'm definitely not okay. And I probably won't be for a long time." She faced Shepard once more. "But I'm good. Good enough to keep going and get the job done. Besides, I'd only hate myself if I started wallowing in self-pity."

"Alright. Just keep in mind I'm always here if you wanna talk."

Ash gave him a deprecating smile. "So you keep saying. But I'm fine. Really. I could be better, but I could be a hell of a lot worse too. Besides, that wasn't even the reason I was being moody for."

"Well then what were you being moody for?"

She looked away nervously, and stood up straight again. "Permission to speak candidly?"

Shepard responded with a mocking smile. "Weren't we doing that already?"

"That's not what I mean. It's about the crew. I have… concerns."

Shepard instantly lost his joviality and stood up straight. "I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say you're not comfortable with the aliens."

Ash answered with a curt nod. "They're non-Alliance personnel. I know you're a Spectre now, and you have the right to govern who we work with, but this is still technically an Alliance vessel. I don't think it's wise to let them wander freely and poke around with our systems. And I especially don't like Zorah being allowed access to work in engineering with the one of a kind, never before seen drive core and the highly secret stealth systems."

"Yeah, I figured you'd feel that way." Shepard said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Look, I know you have more reason than most not to trust aliens. But we need the best if we want to take down Saren and his Geth." Shepard glanced around, seeing Tali talk with Garrus while he worked on the Mako. "And call it a gut feeling, but I honestly think we can trust them. Or at least I don't think they'll ever turn their backs on us."

"Believe me; I don't doubt Vakarian, Zorah, and Wrex aren't good at what they do. But don't you think we could have brought in other Alliance soldiers to fill their niches? Maybe some of your N7 buddies."

Shepard laughed and faced her again. "Take it from me; N7's have a very hard time sharing command of a mission, especially on ship postings like this. We'd probably spend more time bickering about plans more than actually doing something about it."

She had to concede to that. Multiple CO's vying for power on one small ship didn't sound too enticing. Still, it didn't make her feel any better about having unknown quantities aboard an Alliance ship.

Sensing her reservations, Shepard went on. "They are a bit unorthodox, but they can help us get the job done and bring Saren down. A problem like this is too big for humanity to deal with on its own. We need allies to see this thing through."

"I'm not saying we should turn away allies," she replied earnestly. "I just think we shouldn't bet everything on them staying allies. As noble as the Council seems now, if they feel like their own people are at risk, they'll abandon us."

"You have a very pessimistic outlook on life." Shepard stated dryly.

Without missing a beat, Ash responded, "A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist."

Ash thought for a moment, remembering an old story her father once told her when she was younger. "Look, say you and your dog are hiking through the woods and you're attacked by a bear. The only way you can make it out alive is if you sick your dog on it." Ash's voice turned softer, trying to make Shepard see reason. "As much as you love your dog, it isn't human, and ultimately your life is more valuable than its."

She adopted a more business-like manner before saying, "It's not racism. Not really. The same kinds of unspoken rules still applied back when humans didn't know the relays existed and it was country against country. The peoples of the Council will always be more important to them than humans are."

Shepard closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Alright, I see where your concerns are coming from. But this is my mission, and like you said, I have the here say to decide who I think we need. And what I think is that Zorah, Vakarian, and Wrex are the best soldiers for a situation like this. Please, Ash, I need you to trust me on this."

Ashley's expression softened. "You know I do. I'd never follow an order if I didn't think you supported it."

She saw his mood visibly lighten at hearing his words. "That's all I ever want from you." Turning serious again, he said, "But this is a multi-lateral mission. You're going to have to work with aliens, whether you like it or not."

She straightened her posture and spoke in a no-nonsense tone. "It won't be a problem, Shepard. You tell me to jump, I ask how high. You tell me to kiss a Turian, I'll ask which cheek."

Shepard smirked, and his eyes took on the glint that warned Ash when he was about to say something incredibly stupid. "Would you kiss anyone I ordered you to?" he asked coyly.

Ash grinned wickedly and stepped closer. In a breathy whisper, she said, "Well that depends on how cute the recipient is."

Shepard's tone was equally seductive as he stepped closer. "Oh I think I can someone who stands up to your standards."

"Well I'd love to meet them." Despite her usually stoic and professional self, it was so easy for Ash to let go when John was near. He knew all the right things to say to make her loosen up, and his sheer presence coupled with his close proximity sent her mind reeling.

She started to lean forward at the same time he did, and their lips were scant inches apart when a loud clang rang out through the quiet cargo hold. Zorah yelped, Vakarian let loose a string of Turian expletives, and Ash and Shepard practically jumped away from each other in surprise. They quickly looked over to find Vakarian fumbling with a piece of machinery that had fallen off the Mako while Zorah tried to help.

Shepard turned back to her with a bashful smile, and the two broke out into a fit of giggles when they realized what had almost happened.

"Maybe we shouldn't be too open about us while we're still on the ship." Ashley suggested.

Shepard nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck. "You might be right. Forget about some Krogan knife, the admirals would have a field day if they found out I was dating a soldier under my command."

"Don't joke about that!" she said, playfully shoving his chest. "We both know they get their panties in a bunch over the smallest things." She paused for a moment, thinking of something. "So, how long do you think we have?"

"How long until what?"

"Until the crew starts pairing us together. I don't know about ship postings, but groundside we'd always spend more time gossiping about potential couples than doing drills."

He laughed a bit at that. "Believe me; it only gets worse on ships. It's harder to try and keep a relationship secret because there's almost nowhere to hide, and the crew has a lot more idle time to just chatter aimlessly about their friends and CO's hooking up."

He considered the situation and all the variables for a moment. "I give it a little less than a month before the crew really starts to wise up. Then another couple weeks where the wild speculation starts to run rampant. By two months one of half the crew will be dead certain we're together, and the other half will just be waiting on tangible evidence."

"That time scale is a bit more specific than I expected."

Shepard shrugged. "I've been through a lot of ship postings. Some things tend to follow a certain pattern. Besides, being able to read people has helped me earn a pretty penny in office pools."

Ashley's brow rose. "You take bets on when crew mates hook up?"

"Give it three weeks, and I guarantee you'll understand just how little we have to do in between missions and ship maintenance."

"I still don't think it'll spread as quickly as you think. No one knows about us yet, and it's going to be awhile before they notice anything strange."

Shepard looked away and visibly gulped. "Umm…"

Ashley sighed. "Who knows?" she asked tiredly.

"Well, as far as I'm aware only three people know for certain. Joker found out because he gossips more than teenage clique girls, and Alenko found out from him. The only other person who knows is Anderson."

"_What?"_ Ashley's heart started hammering in her chest. Anderson was an extremely high official within the Alliance. If he knew it was only a matter of time before the whole brass-

Shepard cut off her runaway train of thought by gripping her shoulders and giving her a placating look. "The reason you're here is because Anderson knew," he told her seriously. "He thought having the woman I care about fighting alongside me would keep me grounded and actually help the mission."

Ashley blew out a breath in relief. "Oh thank Christ." They had enough to deal with right now. A bunch of old men in stuffy suits was definitely something they didn't need to contend with as well. "You should really preface with that and avoid giving me a heart attack."

"But then how will I keep you on your toes?" he replied cheekily, letting her go.

"Ass."

"That's _commander_ Ass to you."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Well it is an appropriate title, given how full of shit you usually are."

Shepard placed a hand over his heart, feigning being hurt. "Wow. I expect words like that from my enemies, but from my girlfriend? This feels like an abusive relationship to me, and I'm not sure if we should continue seeing each other."

She only laughed and waved him off. "Sure, we can do that. But we both know you'll only come crawling back when you realize you'll never do better than me."

He placed his fists on his hips in an authoritative stance, but the smirk gave him away. "Really? Because I think it's the other way around. I give it two days until you've realized you're nothing without me, and then _you_ will be begging _me_ to take you back."

Ashley's grin only turned feral at that as she stepped closer. "Oh yeah? Well in my personal experience whenever we're in the bedroom I've had you begging for me to take your-"

"Umm…"

Both of them froze and their eyes shot wide. Slowly, they looked to the side to find Tali Zorah standing not two feet away. Obviously they'd been too absorbed with taunting one another to hear her coming. The Quarian clutched a data pad to her chest for dear life, and even through the mask Ashley could see the poor girl's bright eyes were wide with shock. Ash felt her face flush from embarrassment, and she imagined Zorah's face must practically be on fire right now.

Shepard took a professional step away from Ashley and both of them regained some of their composure. "Do you need something, Tali?" Shepard asked her in a measured voice.

"Oh! Right, um…" Tentatively she stepped forward and held out the data pad, which Shepard took with a word of thanks. "Adams wanted me to… to give you his report." Tali took a few quick steps backward. "So, um, yeah. I'll, uh… talk to you both… later." With that, the Quarian borderline ran away before Ash or Shepard could say anything.

They turned back to each other with emotionless faces. "I think we can chalk up that number to four now." Shepard said.

Ashley dragged a hand over her face. "I think I know how my parents felt when I walked in on them having sex once."

Shepard screwed his eyes shut almost painfully, trying his best not to conjure up that particular image. "And on that note my libido is now thoroughly dead."

She couldn't help laughing. Ash had to agree the mood was entirely killed now. "Like I said, we should try staying low key right now. To avoid tipping off and/or traumatizing the crew."

"That would be the wisest option." Shepard agreed. He started taking a few steps away. "I should probably go talk to Tali and try to calm her down. Make sure she isn't too shell shocked."

"Good luck with that. Poor girl looked absolutely terrified."

Shepard smiled at her comment. "I'm sure she'll be fine. Oh! And like I said I'll talk to Alenko and we'll see what we can get for you to do. I'll come talk to you later."

"Looking forward to it, Shepard." With that, he turned around and truly began to walk away.

Ashley turned back to her armor on the table to pick up where she left off. Strangely, she couldn't shake the feeling of another presence nearby. She was about to turn around and look when she felt Shepard's arm grab onto her waist. Ashley gasped lightly as he planted a quick kiss on her cheek, and a flush of heat ran up her neck.

The lips and hand were removed, and Ash turned to watch Shepard walk away for good this time, sparing only a cheeky glance over his shoulder. Ash smirked back at him.

_Damn that man and his perfect ass!_


	8. Chapter 8 - Play Nice, Part 1

_Pre Author's Note: I am soooo sorry it took this long to post a new chapter! I've been dealing with a lot of end-of-year school stuff and whenever I had time to sit down and write the muse never came to me. _

Mass Effect and its characters are owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic fArts

Chapter 8 - Play Nice, Part 1

It was late into the night shift on the Normandy, and the mess hall housed one sole occupant standing in front of the Med Bay doors. Hesitating only for a moment, Ashley stepped up to the doors and passed through as they opened for her. Dr. Chakwas looked up from her desk and flashed Ashley a smile.

"Ah, there you are miss Williams," she said in her chipper British accent. "And here I thought I'd have to coerce lieutenant Alenko into dragging you to me by force."

Despite how much she didn't want to be here, Ashley couldn't help but smile at Chakwas' way of lightening the mood. "I'd laugh, but I'm too afraid you're actually being serious."

"As you should be." Chakwas said while standing up. "I take the wellbeing of the crew very seriously, and if that means administering checkups for wounds you have, then I will do everything in my power to do so." She pointed to one of the medical beds along the wall. "Now, up on that bed and off with those trousers."

Ashley smirked as she walked over and unlatched her belt. "You know, most women usually buy me a few drinks before they start giving me orders like that."

"I'm sure, but in those instances the women involved don't have the capability of barring you from further ground missions for lack of an up-to-date bill of health."

The smirk turned into a low scowl. "I see we like playing dirty," Ashley observed.

"Chief, in my experience soldiers won't even drink their cough syrup if you don't use some kind of black mail."

Harrumphing somewhat, Ashley loosed the pants from around her waist and pooled them around the tops of the boots she kept on. Thankful she was still clad in her compression shorts, she hopped onto the medical bed, gripping the edge while she dangled her legs over the side. Chakwas came to stand in front of her, opening up her Omni Tool and beginning to inspect Ashley's left leg.

The gunshot wound she had sustained on Eden Prime was mostly healed now, only a faint patch of scarring that was lighter in color than the rest of her body. Since then the only times Ashley actually felt it was a dull ache in her calf after a workout or a mission.

"This won't have to be too intensive, will it?" Ashley asked the doctor.

"Oh no, I only have to run a few surface scans. Nothing invasive or terribly time consuming." Chakwas was silent for a few moments while she pored over the data popping up on her Tool. It gave off a beep, and Chakwas typed out a few commands. "Well Chief, your leg seems to be healing remarkably well. It was fortunate the commander was there and able to apply medical attention so quickly."

_Not quickly enough,_ she thought glumly. Ashley mentally berated herself. She knew the _Normandy's_ presence arriving sooner likely wouldn't have changed anything. Ashley was grateful Shepard had gotten their in time to save her life from the Geth. She still just needed time processing what happened to the 212.

Shepard had been immeasurably helpful over the last week, giving her a job to do or talking with her when she needed it. Shepard would have lent a helping hand even if they weren't together, but Ashley could tell he put in a bit more effort to help her than he needed to. Shepard never asked for a thank-you, but Ashley found it sweet all the same.

Silence stretched between them as Chakwas ran her scans. It wasn't awkward per se, but Ashley and Chakwas had simply never found common ground to talk about. It was then Ash realized she actually knew very little about the woman standing in front of her, so she decided to change that.

"So how long have you been a doctor?" she started conversationally.

Chakwas let out a low, melodic chuckle that reverberated off the walls of her med bay. "Much longer than I care to admit, I'm afraid. I spent my younger years earning my degree, and since then I've always served with the Alliance."

"Your whole life? Didn't you ever want to open up your own practice?"

The doctor paused in her work as she stared off into space with a small smile, remembering events from yester year. "That option has actually crossed my desk more than a few times. And yes, I've been tempted. To start up my own clinic on one of the major colonies like Mars or Terra Nova." She closed her eyes as she shook her head, banishing away silly memories. Chakwas turned back to Ashley with a determined set to her blue gaze. "But every time I turned the offer away, because I knew I'd only missed being with the Alliance."

She took on a dreamy look while she resumed her scans. "There's always been something special to me about serving aboard war ships. That subtle vertigo when the dampeners kick, helping to mend wounded soldiers or crewmen, even just meeting new people and adding their stories to the mental collection I have. No, I dare say if I retired I'd sooner go loony due to the lack of excitement."

Ashley smiled at the older woman's words. She never would have pegged Chakwas to be the nostalgic type. "Sounds like you landed the job you always wanted."

The bark of laughter Chakwas let out was so sudden and loud it actually made Ashley jump. "Oh no! I thought the Alliance would be a _very_ different experience when I first enlisted. I was expecting to travel the stars, treating tough soldiers with sensitive souls and piercing gazes." Another beep from the Omni Tool, and Chakwas pressed a few more commands to start the next scan. "As you can imagine any romanticism I had when I was young and naïve was washed away within a year or two of service."

"Oh," Ash replied lamely. Not exactly the kind of romantic story you'd see in the movies. "So what happened? What made you stay if you weren't living your dream?"

"I grew older," she said matter-of-factly, giving Ashley a knowing glance. "You'll find your priorities will change as you grow later in your years. I realized serving with the Alliance, jumping from ship to ship, actually provided more stability than if I worked on my own. And as I said, I love taking care of my children too much to leave the Alliance."

Ashley quirked an eyebrow. "Your children?"

"Yes. You, Shepard, even Joker. You all do good work, and it puts my soul at rest knowing I'll be here to help any of you however I can."

The romantic in Ashley couldn't help feeling extremely touched by Chakwas's sentiments. The older woman could be strict and unyielding at times, but she acted motherly and fair to those she was responsible for.

"Aww. That's actually really sweet."

Chakwas gave her a malign glare. "I'd recommend not spreading that particular rumor around, lest you want these medical visits to be more uncomfortable than they already are."

Ashley held up a hand in surrender, though Chakwas's mild threat did little to dampen her mood. Deciding to change the subject, she said, "Got any good stories to share? Possibly involving those soldiers with the piercing eyes and chiseled abs?" Ashley waggled her brow suggestively.

The doctor laughed good humoredly. "I will have you know I was quite the looker when I was your age. Almost every young man and more than a few women tried to catch my eye while they were stuck in the med bay. Of course, I only ever indulged myself with those I truly thought worth my time."

She sighed somewhat whimsically. "Were I twenty years younger the commander is exactly the kind of man I would have sunk my teeth into."

Ashley gawked at the doctor's sudden admission. "_Chakwas!"_ she exclaimed, over exaggerating her scandalized reaction by placing a hand over her heart. "He's your commanding officer!"

"That's never stopped me before," the doctor said with a smirk. She then gave Ashley a knowing look before saying, "And from what I understand that hasn't stopped you either."

It took two full seconds for Ashley to process what exactly the last sentence meant, and when it finally clicked all of the humor and color in her face drained away. She was stunned into silence as Chakwas closed down her Omni Tool and began typing statuses into a data pad.

"Oh, don't look so surprised," Chakwas admonished. "And close your mouth. It's unseemly."

Ashley did so, not even realizing it had been open in their first place.

Working up her nerve, she nervously asked, "Is it really that easy to tell?" Ashley thought she and Shepard were being more careful. If the crew were so quick to catch on then they might have a more serious problem on their hands…

To her dismay, Chakwas only laughed more at Ashley's expense. "Miss Williams, part of my job is knowing my patients better than they know themselves. And I've been doing my job for the better part of the last three decades."

Ashley breathed a sigh of relief. So she and Shepard weren't totally inept; the doctor was just keenly perceptive.

Chakwas went on. "Believe me; very few people are actually wise to the true nature of your relationship with Shepard. I probably wouldn't have caught on so soon had you not lingered in the med bay for so long while Shepard was unconscious after the Beacon incident."

"Oh, right." Ash had in fact been admitted into the med bay to have her leg looked at. But after Chakwas gave her the all clear, Ashley couldn't bring herself to leave Shepard's side, at least not for very long. On some level she did feel responsible for activating the Beacon and getting Shepard hurt. That guilt was only magnified by the fact it was a man she cared a great deal for. Besides, it wasn't like Anderson gave Ash any responsibilities when he informed her she was being reassigned to the _Normandy_. So Ashley had nothing better to do after cleaning herself up than watching over Shepard.

Putting her things away, Chakwas walked up to Ashley and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a tender motherly look. "But for what it's worth, I approve. I've seen how you and Shepard look at each other when I started paying attention. And I think you help each other in ways I cannot." Ashley nodded solemnly, remembering how long Shepard stayed with her during the breakdown after helping Samesh.

"That might be truer than you realize." Ash responded with a meek smile.

"I can imagine." Stepping back, Chakwas brought her Omni Tool back up and adopted her usual business manner. "Back to the matter at hand, it looks like your leg is healing just fine, and I see no reason to keep you from any ground side missions should Shepard require you."

Ash breathed a sigh of relief. She might have gone stir crazy being stuck onboard the ship with next to nothing to do.

Chakwas stepped away to fish out a small bottle of pills from a nearby cupboard, which she offered to Ashley. "I'm prescribing you one more half prescription of pain medication, but I only want you to take these sparingly when you feel as though your leg is truly acting up. I also have one more request, if it is not too presumptuous."

"Thanks for these," Ash said whilst giving the bottle a light shake, "and what else do want me to do? Special exercises for my leg or something?"

"Actually I was wondering if I might live vicariously through you." Ashley only gave her the blankest of stares, not catching her meaning. Smiling devilishly, Chakwas continued, "As I said, the commander is a very fine specimen. It would make _me_ feel better knowing someone was making _him_ feel better."

Ashley blanched, pretending to be on the verge of throwing up, earning her a playful glare from her doctor. The two laughed it off as Chakwas returned to her desk. Ash stood up from the bed and was about to pull her pants back up when the swoosh of a door opening caught her attention.

Liara T'Soni walked into the med bay from her alcove in the back, staring intently at a data pad. "Excuse me doctor, but I was wondering if you could take a look at- OH!" The Asari stopped dead in her tracks when she looked up to see Ashley with the majority of her lower body uncovered, and a very deep purple blush spread its way across her face.

"Sorry," Ash chuckled, quickly pulling her pants back on to regain her decency in front of the practically terrified looking Asari. As a soldier, Ash had no problem being seen unclothed by her friends and coworkers. It was a particular desensitization that came with being a marine. But Ash imagined seeing someone else naked was something much rarer for T'Soni.

Of the four aliens currently onboard the Normandy, Liara had to be the most peculiar. Before going to Therum, Ashley imagined they would find a stuck up pompous brat who made her mother Benezia clean up her messes. Instead, they found a meek, easily flustered girl barely more than a teen in human years, with more daddy (mommy?) issues than the Krogan who killed his own father.

Listening around the scuttlebutt, it looked as though most of the crew did not like the Asari being onboard the Normandy and being given free rein to go where she chose. Understandable, considering she is the daughter of one of Saren's closest supporters. But for the life of her Ashley genuinely could not bring herself to mistrust the Asari. Liara just seemed too bumbling and innocent to be in cahoots with two of the galaxy's biggest traitors. Or she might be a really good actress, but Ash couldn't imagine the Asari ever lied a lot.

Although at the moment, said Asari was doing a good impression of a deer caught in head lights. "Oh! No, you are, um, fine," she stammered. Working up her resolve and avoiding any kind of eye contact, she quickly stepped across the med bay and held out the data pad for Dr. Chakwas, who was now watching with an amused grin. In a quiet voice, Liara said, "Uh, I wondered if this might be of use to you. They are detailed reports about Asari anatomy and diets."

Dr. Chakwas chuckled airily as she accepted the data pad. "Thank you, Dr. T'Soni. I do think these will help."

Liara nodded and flashed a very brief smile. Before anything more could be said, the Asari turned tail and briskly walked back to her alcove and shut the door.

Perplexed, Ashley walked over to Chakwas, who was now pouring over the data pad Liara had given her. Casting a confused glance at the door, she asked, "Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not," Chakwas replied earnestly. "At least nothing you did personally. Liara is just having a difficult time acclimating to life aboard a warship, and a human one at that. Besides myself and the commander Liara hasn't talked to anyone for extended periods of time."

"You and Liara chat?"

"Yes. It's somewhat strange talking with a person's who's over twice my age but has the mentality of someone younger than me. But Liara is incredibly intelligent and such a sweet girl when you get to know her. I just wish she'd come out of her shell a bit more."

Ash shifted her weight to one hip, fixing the doctor with a serious stare. "Give me your honest opinion, doc? What do you make of T'Soni?"

Chakwas put the data pad down and folded her hands in her lap, staring off into space for a moment while she thought. "I do understand how serious the implications are against Miss T'Soni. The fact she is her mother's daughter is not a connection we can simply overlook." She turned to Ashley with a level, earnest gaze. "But I've gotten to know her over the past few days, and I can assure you Liara has a very bad poker face. Benezia working with Saren worries her more than it does any of us. In my opinion Liara is more than a little shell shocked, still trying to come to terms with everything that's happening around her. But she has a strong conviction of right over wrong, and I truly believe she wants to help us in any capacity she can."

Ash crossed her arms, giving the door a loaded look. "Good to know we're on the same page then."

The doctor made a surprised sound in the back of her throat. Ash turned to her with a questioning glance, and she said, "I had thought you would be among those who hadn't trusted the Asari yet."

"I probably would have thought that too if I were in your shoes," Ash replied with a shrug. "I don't know what it is, but I just can't see Liara having a single bad bone in her body. Er, Asari have bones, right?" Chakwas gave an exasperated nod, and Ash continued. "If anything T'Soni reminds me more of my little sisters back when they were still growing up. None of them could lie worth a damn either.

"I can't say I trust her. Not yet, anyway. But I'm with you in thinking Liara's here to find the truth about her mother, not to sabotage us."

"That's very insightful of you Chief," Chakwas commended. "I can see why Shepard values your opinion so much." Ash didn't respond to the doctor, but smiled at the compliment nonetheless. Chakwas cast a calculating look at the door to Liara's abode, thinking. "You know, I do think Liara would come out more often and talk with us if she had a few more friends."

Ashley thought the unsaid proposal over, weighing the pros and cons. "Yeah, what the hell? Knowing Shepard he'll eventually make the two us come on a mission with him. It's only fair to warn T'Soni how crazy he gets during a firefight. Plus some tips on keeping food down whenever he drives the Mako."

The soldier and doctor shared one more brief smile, and Chakwas engrossed herself with her work while Ashley moved to the door. Rather than barge in, she knocked on the door a few times, to be courteous to a non-Alliance crew member who probably didn't have the same concept of personal privacy as a servicemen. Ash heard a faint, "Come in," so she palmed the panel on the door and moved inside when the doors opened for her.

Ashley briefly took in what Liara had made into her room. The surplus of medicine and medical supplies were stacked in boxes off to one side, like they had been before Liara moved in. Aside from a cot, chair, and personal terminal, the Asari hadn't really put a personal touch to the room yet. The lack of proper lighting made the room a bit more depressing than it had to be, but then again it was never meant to be a permanent residence in the first place.

Liara swiveled in her chair to see her guest, and her large blue eyes grew larger in surprise. "Chief Williams!" she greeted while rising. "Is there something you require of me?"

Ashley moved away from the door to let it close, giving them some privacy while she walked up to the Asari. "No, actually. I was just wondering if you wanted to talk for a bit."

"Oh no. Have I done something to offend you?" Liara gripped her hands together in front of her, probably to keep them from fidgeting.

Ashley's brow rose in surprise. "What could you have possibly done to offend me?"

"You are not angry with me?" Ashley only shook her head, and Liara sighed in exasperation. "I am sorry miss Williams. I had never actually met a human until Shepard rescued me on Therum, and I must admit I'm still having trouble coming to understand your species. Humans are much more… assertive, than I expected."

"Guilty as charged. Us humans don't live as long as you Asari or Turians. We don't get the luxury of waiting a couple hundred years to figure out what we want to do with our lives."

"I can see how that might be a handicap." Liara's mouth twitched only slightly, maybe into the first stages of a smile, but the gesture was gone before Ashley even realized it was there. "In any event, what is it you would like to speak about? Shepard has already questioned me as to the relationship with my mother, and I am afraid there is not much more I could say."

Liara stood rigid, tense, obviously expecting Ashley to interrogate her in some way, and the human mentally sighed. She wouldn't get anywhere if the Asari inherently feared her.

"No, nothing like that. Chakwas said you don't interact with the crew much, so I was wondering if you just wanted talk. You know, girl to girl?" Liara seemed quick to jump to amend that statement, but Ash waved her off. "Yes, I know Asari are mono gendered and that you don't actually have 'boys' and 'girls.' But you look, sound, and act like any number of human women I've met, so it'll be easier for both of us if we just let that be."

To Ashley's surprise, Liara barely looked taken aback. "I suppose that makes sense. And… talking? I will not decline, but I must warn you Miss Williams that I am rather rusty at social interaction." Liara shifted on her feet, glancing away as a worried expression crossed her face. "Besides, I was under the impression you did not… think of me very kindly."

Ash rubbed her arm nervously as she looked down. "Yeah, guess I did kinda act like a bitch during the debriefing after Therum. In my defense, my… friends came real close to turning into crisps in a volcanic eruption, so I was a little on edge going into that."

Ash was careful not to oust herself and Shepard as being together. Right now the fewer people who knew about them, the better. Of course, using 'friends' in that statement would imply she got along with Wrex and Vakarian too. Well, she didn't dislike them, so at least there's potential for mutual acquaintances.

"I think all of our nerves were a bit frayed after that incident," Liara replied, with a little more humor to her voice than Ash expected. "And as I said, humans are still new to me, and some of your reactions took me off guard. The Pilot's attempts at humor were certainly unexpected."

"Joker's is kind of an ass. I wouldn't blame you for avoiding him." The words might have sounded harsh had Ashley not said them with a good natured grin. More seriously, she said, "Telling bad jokes is just how Joker deals with stuff. The same way I like cleaning guns, or how you probably like learning new stuff about the Protheans."

Liara nodded sagely. "I can understand that. And I do hope you realize I do not harbor ill will toward you for how you spoke in the debriefing. As Benezia's daughter any mistrust you might have is quite justified."

"To be honest I thought you'd be more stuck up and pompous like the other Asari we've met, so the whole 'nerdy ancient relic hunter' thing threw me for a loop."

"Threw you for a what?"

"A loop. Oh, uh, human expression."

"I see." Liara adopted a more speculative tone. "I take it you do not think very highly of my species, Miss Williams."

Ashley shrugged, a lame expression on her face. "My family has bad history with the Turians from the First Contact War, more so than most families, so xenophobia kind of runs in the family. Plus I'd never actually met an alien until joining Shepard's mission, so I didn't really know what to expect."

"I cannot say I blame you. Many Asari sees themselves as the apex race, and tend to look down upon the rest. I chose archaeology for its solitude, for dealing with members of my own species can be quite… difficult at times."

"Well, it's good to see you turned out so likeable considering the background you came from." Liara started to shake her head, maybe refute Ashley's claims in some way, but she wouldn't have any of it. "No seriously. You're smart, easy to talk to, and a hell of a lot nicer than a lot of humans I've known."

Liara ducked her head shyly, a faint blush crossing her cheeks, but Ash could see the corners of her mouth quirking upward in the smallest of smiles. "You do not have say such things. But… thank you."

Ashley grinned, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to one hip. "I get the feeling you don't get a lot of compliments like that."

The Asari let out a breath of air that might have sounded like a single laugh. "Truthfully, no. I was never the one pretty girls like you would approach in school, and I've spent most of my life in a career where colleagues do not commonly complement each other's work or accomplishments."

_Did she just call me pretty?_ It was a inconsequential thought, but the prospect of being called attractive by the race that literally cornered the market on sex appeal was too good to pass up.

"Well then I guess that's their loss for not realizing how awesome you are."

Liara brought a hand to cover her mouth to cover the laugh starting to break through. "Now you are deliberately trying to make me blush." From what she could see, Ash was certainly succeeding in that endeavor.

She took a moment to calm down, seemingly taken off guard by what happened. "I am sorry. I cannot remember the last time I did something like that." In response to Ashley asking what she meant, Liara said, "Just… laugh. At dig sites I am usually on my own, and outside of my research I do not spend much time with others. There have never been very many instances where I can just talk with people I consider my friends and let go."

Ashley's eyes widened at Liara apparent confession. "Are you saying I'm your friend?"

Liara's mouth lost its smile and she ducked her head in embarrassment. "I am being presumptuous. I'm sorry if I've overstepped-"

The Asari was cut when the Ashley took her hands in her own. Liara looked up to see Ash giving her a warm smile. "You don't have to apologize so much. And I'd like it if we were friends."

Liara sighed in relief. "Thank you. Most of the crew do not seem to trust me, but it is… nice knowing a few do not see me as a threat."

Ash gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. "You're still new on the ship. Just give it a little while and try coming out more often. They'll warm up to you."

Liara regained her composure after a moment, her large blue eyes shining with a mirth that hadn't been there when Ashley walked in. She decided the Asari looked much less severe when she smiled. "I do not mean to turn you away, but there are some data feeds I must go over. But I would very much enjoy speaking with you again."

Ashley couldn't stop grinning herself, proud of having been able to make Liara come out of her shell, at least a little bit. "You know what? We still have to get you kitted out with some armor and a few guns. I know Shepard will eventually want you to come on one of our ground missions, so you have to be prepared for the kinds of firefights he drags us into. Come down to the cargo bay tomorrow and I'll help you pick out the best gear out of what we have."

"I think I would like that. Thank you."

Nodding in affirmation, Ashley backed off toward the door while Liara took her seat at her terminal. Before leaving Ashley paused at the door, looking over the room. "You know you don't have to live in here. I'm sure if you asked Shepard he'd find something much nicer."

Liara swiveled back to face her. "I am certain her would. But I like it here, and the solitude it provides me." She paused a moment, looking contemplative. "Though I do think I will try venturing out more often."

"Sounds good. Night, doc."

"Good night Miss Williams."

Feeling positively giddy about herself, Ash exited Liara's room, said good night to Chakwas as well, and made her way out of the med bay. Ash didn't feel particularly tired yet, so rather than head to the crew quarters and lie down in her bunk she veered off to empty mess to make herself a cup of late night tea. She was going through cupboards looking for the Jasmine tea she bought on the Citadel when she heard a low groan come from the alcove where Kaidan Alenko could usually be found working on a defunct terminal in his off time.

Leaning over the partition, she found the man sitting on the ground, hanging his head in his hands.

"LT?"

Alenko let out a hiss of air and curled further into himself. "Shit Williams not so loud! My skull feels ready crack as is."

"Oh, sorry," she said, quieter this time. She walked around the partition and kneeled down in front of him to try and see what was wrong. His eyes were screwed shut, and his jaw was clenched in pain. Ash instantly became worried.

"Are you okay Alenko? Do you need me to go get Chakwas?"

"No!" he implored, blindly reaching out a hand to try and stop. More quietly, he said, "No. It's just a headache. I just have to wait for my meds to kick in."

"Uh huh. I'll admit headaches don't leave me feeling cheery either, but I've never had one that put me on my ass like you are now. How long until the meds kick in?"

"Can take anywhere from five minutes to an hour," he muttered sourly.

"Right." Ash rocked back on her heels, thinking of anything she could do. Then she had an idea in the form of an old recipe her mother taught her. "Alright, I think I might know how to help. Don't go anywhere."

"Didn't really plan on it," he deadpanned while Ash got up. Setting the electric pitcher to boil some water, Ash went back through the cupboards and found a package of Earl Grey. She also withdrew the vinegar, sugar, nutmeg, and saffron.

The mess hall was dead silent save for the sound of water starting to boil. Feeling bad about the Lieutenant, Ashley tried engaging him conversationally. "So you get these kinds of headaches a lot?" she called over, but not too loudly so as not to piss him off.

She couldn't see him, but Kaidan sounded haggard when he spoke. "Often enough that it actually affects my work sometimes. Comes with being an L2."

"Being a Lieutenant on the _Normandy_ can't be such a bad job that it gives you debilitating headaches." The pitcher dinged, and Ash poured some of the steaming water into a mug with the Earl Grey tea packet.

Kaidan sighed loudly while Ash began stirring. "L_2_, not L_T_. As in my biotic implant."

"Oooooh, right." She'd forgotten human biotics needed amps to help them focus their powers. She started adding in drops of vinegar while she spoke. "But I thought the scientists who made amps designed them so they didn't do stuff like this."

"Yeah, for the L3's maybe." It took Ash off guard listening to the contempt in his voice. Kaidan was always soft spoken, apologetic, and overall very kind, even to those who didn't treat him with respect. The man never even lost his cool during firefights. To see that fortitude crack even the slightest was a testament to how bad his head ache must truly be. "Those with the L2 implant never got the same treatment as newer biotics."

Ash broke off a few small pieces of saffron and let them soak in the tea. "Can't you upgrade to the new implant?" she asked cautiously.

Kaidan let out a hollow laugh. "I was stuck with the L2 for too long before the newer model came out. It's practically part of my nervous system. It would only end up doing more harm than good."

"Well that sucks." That was like being forced to use a Lancer 1 rifle while everyone else got Tsunami 4's.

"Yeah," Kaidan muttered glumly. "Yeah it does."

As the finishing touch, Ash sprinkled in some of the nutmeg and chased it with a healthy dollop of sugar to help lessen out all the other flavors. Stirring to make sure it all mixed well, she walked back over to Kaidan's spot on the floor and kneeled in front of him.

Offering the mug to him, she said, "Here. I think some tea might help in this situation."

Kaidan took the mug with a small nod, his eyes still shutting out all the light. Taking a cautious sip, his face scrunched up even more as the liquid passed over his tongue. "That's a, um, very… interesting flavor, Chief.

Ash chuckled as she leaned back on her heels. "For the record, it's supposed to taste like crap. You don't have to sugar coat it for me."

"I really wish you had sugar coated-" Kaidan trailed off as his eyes snapped wide. He blinked several times and took another sip, realization starting to dawn. "Oh _wow._"

"Feeling better?" she asked with a grin.

Kaidan rubbed a free hand over his skull, mystified at how the pressure in his head was receding. "Yeah! A lot better." He gave the mug a peculiar stare as he took another sip, completely willing to choke back the rancorous taste in return for its miracle cure. "What's in this?"

"Earl Gray, sugar, vinegar, saffron, and a bit of nutmeg."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "And you knew that combination would cure headaches, how?"

Ash laughed as she repositioned herself, crossing her legs in front of him. "Mom found that out, actually. She was always into the homeopathic stuff. She liked experimenting with different ingredients to see what she could make whenever my sisters and I gave her a break."

"Don't take this the wrong way Williams, but I think I'm in love with your mom."

"Coming from a guy with your looks like yours, I don't think she'd stop you."

A very faint blush crossed his cheeks while he laughed at her comment. Within minutes he already looked ten times better. His muscles weren't drawn taut and his mouth curled upward in a smile rather than remain a scowl of pain. He was in fact a handsome man; a fact he never quite liked to live up to.

"Thank you, Williams," he intoned earnestly. "But if you don't mind, I'd really like that recipe."

"Consider it done. So, what are you still doing up? You're not in charge of the night shift too, are you?"

"No, just getting a late night snack. Because of my high metabolism I wake up with serious hunger cramps if I don't eat something before I go to sleep."

"High metabolism comes with being a biotic, right?" Kaidan nodded as he took another sip, grimacing less so this time. Intrigued, Ash asked, "So what's it like?"

"Well I can eat just about anything and not have to worry about it going to my thighs, so I've got that going for me, which is nice." Kaidan snickered at some joke Ash didn't realize.

Ash rolled her eyes. "Not _that._ I mean what's like being able to move stuff with you mind?"

Kaidan's light expression fell somewhat, not particularly eager about the change in conversation. "It's definitely not as much fun as some Human Evolution advocates might try to make you think."

Kaidan titled his head back, leaning it on the bulkhead, as he thought. "This probably isn't very accurate, but it sort of feels like having and extra set of arms, but they're as natural to you as your other limbs. Aside from the smell of ozone and the occasional light show, picking up or throwing an object with my biotics doesn't feel any different than if I had done it with my hands."

Ash pouted. "Well that's lame. I hoped you would have said something like 'it feels like you're charged with electricity' or 'it gives you super perception of what's happening around you.'" Kaidan only chuckled at her remark, shaking his head. On the high of her record of small successes that night, Ash decided to push on. "If you don't mind me saying, LT, but it looks like your biotics have been getting stronger over the past few weeks. Knocking Flashlight Heads on their asses makes for good practice?"

Instead of making a quip like she expected, Kaidan became downcast and looked away, something like shame crossing his face. He spoke so quietly Ash had to strain to hear him. "I guess there's less reason to hold back when the targets aren't actually alive."

Ash tilted her head to the side, trying to get a better look at him. "Why would you hold back?"

Kaidan closed his eyes as he set his mug down, looking tired and defeated again. "It's a personal reason, Chief. I don't want to trouble you with my problems."

Unwilling to accept defeat, Ash scooted closer and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Kaidan looked back to her, and she flashed him a reassuring smile. "Half of my job with the 212 was listening to my men's gripes. Besides, I'd like to think we're friends, Alenko. You can talk to me."

He was silent for a moment, thinking over the option she presented him. Eventually Kaidan sighed and said, "This might be the headache or lack of food talking, but I think you probably deserve to know."

He took a moment to gather his thoughts, before speaking in a slow, low voice. "When I was sixteen, I killed a person because I lost control."

Ash leaned back, taken by surprise. Kaidan losing control? The idea sounded preposterous. Kaidan was the very epitome of military discipline and self-control. But if he was telling the truth, then something extremely traumatic pushed him to it.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"You remember hearing about Jump Zero, right?" he asked her back. Ash was caught off guard by the strange question, but nodded nonetheless. "I was one of the applicants there, training to use my biotics without killing myself."

Kaidan let out a puff of air laced with old aggression, flashing back to his childhood. "Whatever the vids say, that place was a shithole for me and all the other kids stuck there with me." Ash went through her experiences with Alenko, and not once could she remember him swearing. "Conatix had no real knowledge on how element zero affected humans, so we never got the proper amount of food we needed and the drills made kids burn out more than help them train.

"I might have been able to forgive all that if it weren't for Vyrnnus, our biotic drill instructor."

Ash could still hear the resentment in his voice, but it was also laced with something else. Regret? Apathy? Intrigued, she asked, "But I thought we didn't have any biotics in the military before Jump Zero, so where did they…" she trailed off, a cold feeling settling in her chest as she put the pieces together.

"They brought in an alien, didn't they?"

He nodded mutely. "Vyrnnus was a Turian, former military officer who fought through the First Contact War. Liked to brag about commanding the dreadnought that destroyed our parents' ships even though we knew he was full of shit."

Ash scowled only slightly. She wasn't peeved by the fact a human research company employed an alien. But did they have to enlist one that hated humans?

Kaidan went on, "Vyrnnus made life hell for each and every one of us. He never let up, yelling at us to keep going past our exhaustion points, then punishing us if we couldn't give anymore. I understand his motivations now that I'm older, but I don't think I could ever forgive him for how he borderline abused us. For how he treated her."

She noticed the verbal slip up. "Her?"

He snapped his gaze to Ash, his eyes wide as realization dawned on what he let slip out. His mouth opened, but no words came out, and he resigned to closing it again. Kaidan looked away nervously, his eyes glossing over as bittersweet memories resurfaced. "Rahna."

The pair was silent for a moment, Ash letting Kaidan psych himself up mentally for what he wanted to say. She knew talking about this kind of stuff must be extremely difficult for him. The fact that Kaidan was letting her hear this story cemented the idea that they were more than fellow soldiers. They were friends, and friends helped each other wherever they could.

After a moment he said, "Rahna wasn't like any girl I'd met before. She was smart, fun, and beautiful, but not stuck up about it. She could make friends with just about anyone. But she didn't have a mean bone in her body. She didn't like confrontation. Thing is, I never faulted her for it. I never saw her as a soldier, but something better, like a doctor or politician."

Ash noticed the faint smiled tugging on his lips, talking about a girl he obviously liked as more than a friend. "Sounds like you two really cared about each other."

Kaidan let out one airy chuckle and looked down. "I remember there always being something between us, but… we never got the chance to figure things out." And just like that the brief moment of levity was gone again, replaced by a stern expression as something important came back to the forefront of his mind.

She watched the emotions play out on his face, already knowing full well where this story was headed. "That's what made you lose your cool," Ash inferred softly. "Vyrnnus hurt Rahna."

Kaidan's fists clenched in his lap, and his words were heavy with emotion. "He broke her arm because she reached for a glass of water instead of grabbing it with her biotics. She just didn't want to get a nosebleed for once."

Kaidan shut his eyes once more as he shook his head. "We'd been living through that kind of stuff for years, but that day I finally snapped, I'd finally had enough of this Turian treating my friends and I like dirt. So I got in his face and told him what for. He yelled at me, I yelled back. He threatened to kill me, and I called his bluff. That was when the knife came out."

He was silent for a moment, taking long, deep breaths to get his blood pressure back under control. In a calmer, much quieter voice, he said, "Before I realized what was happening, I sent a biotic punch into Vyrnuss's face with almost as much force as I could muster today. He flew back, hit the wall, and broke his neck. The medics couldn't get him to a med bay in time, so he died."

Ash was silent after that, letting all of Kaidan's words sink in for them both. She knew she was among a very small group of people to have actually heard Kaidan's account of his childhood. She couldn't imagine what it was like for him to have his first kill be something so personal. For Ash the first person she'd ever killed was the man she sniped on Utukku. Then the man was almost a klick away and downrange of Ashley's rifle. It was quick, impersonal, a single event that simply happened.

But this was a Turian Kaidan had likely known for years, and dozens of events and confrontations finally boiled over the day Vyrnnus broker Rahna's arm. Kaidan was by no means a malicious person. Having killed Vyrnnus probably ate away at his soul, even to this day, despite the fact that he had been in the right.

"So what happened?" she eventually asked. "You weren't charged for protecting yourself, were you?"

Kaidan shook his head. "It was labeled self-defense. But what happened with Vyrnnus was the tipping point for Jump Zero. The station was shut down, its staff reassigned, and the remaining kids were sent back home."

He looked off into the distance, his eyes misty and dark. "I tried keeping in touch with Rahna, but… seeing me kill Vyrnnus changed her too. She never wanted to talk to me again."

Ash heard the disappointment in his voice, and he now looked visibly worn down. Despite herself, Ash couldn't stop from feeling resentful toward this Rahna. Kaidan had done what he did to protect this girl, and as a reward she shattered his teenage heart. Kaidan was one of the closest friends Ash had right now, and he deserved better than that.

Kaidan wiped a hand over his face, giving himself a little jostle to break out of his reverie. "Sorry, Chief. I don't mean to sound like a whiner. I've worked past my problems, but sometimes I can't help them coming back up."

She sidled closer and looped an arm around his shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. "It's really no trouble. This is what friends do, right?"

He sobered at that, giving a small smile in return. "I suppose it is. And… thanks, Ash. For listening." Sufficiently in lighter spirits, Kaidan picked up his now cooled mug of tea and pushed himself up, Ashley following suit. They walked back the kitchen so Kaidan could wash out the mug.

Over his shoulder, he said, "I forgot to ask, what are you still doing up? You know, besides giving me a pep talk."

"I was getting a checkup from Chakwas," she said, leaning her hip on the counter. "She wanted to make sure my leg was healing alright. Then I talked with T'Soni for a while, and I came out here for a cup of tea before I hit the hay."

Kaidan turned to her, his brow raised in surprise. "You actually got T'Soni to talk for more than a minute? Color me impressed."

"Yeah. She's not as bad as I thought she'd be. What's your opinion on her?"

"Well, I don't think she's working with Saren or her mother, if that's what you're asking. Other than that, I think she's smart, a little too shy for her own good, but she can handle herself. Shepard and I have already talked about taking her on ground missions."

"Good, we're on the same page then. T'Soni's gonna come down to the cargo bay tomorrow and I'll get her kitted out."

"Sounds good." Kaidan paused a moment, considering an afterthought. "Pretty easy on the eyes too."

Ash quirked an eyebrow at him. "That your official opinion, sir?"

Kaidan laughed, freely this time, without reservation. "No, no. I just like to give appreciation where I think it's due." Kaidan crossed his arms and fixed Ash with a peculiar stare. "Although I'm not the only one with my eye on someone else."

Ash audibly groaned, knowing this had been coming eventually. "You don't have to bead around the bush, Alenko. Yes, Shepard and I are in a relationship, and yes, we're fully aware of how bad that can look if it got out. So if you have any concerns or reservations, please, lay them on me."

He sighed and rested his hand on the counter. "I won't give you the whole spiel about fraternization regs and what kinds of punishments you could land. All I can really say is be careful. For his sake."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean Shepard cares about you. A lot. If something happened to you or if you did something to hurt him, I don't know how well he'd handle it." Kaidan glanced away, his fingers tapping the counter nervously. "When the distress beacon from Eden Prime came in, something changed in Shepard. He was focused and driven, sure, but he was tense and on edge. He was single mindedly focused on finding you. And he didn't get back to normal until we made sure you were safe."

"Oh," was her only response. Ash turned away from him, leaning back against the counter, thinking over his warning. The prospect of either of them getting hurt was something that hadn't really factored in her mind yet. Sure, they'd have some scrapes and bruises after a firefight, but the idea of being seriously hurt on mission was something that hadn't registered yet. While Shepard was extremely unlucky and attracted unforeseen problems like a plague, he also had a natural knack for getting out of those same problems little worse for wear. But what about when that luck ran out? How would Ashley react if she had to drag a critically wounded Shepard back to the ship?

A hand on her arm ended her musings, and Ash looked up to find Kaidan standing in front of her with a sympathetic expression. "Look, I know you're only doing this because you care about him too. All I'm saying is tread lightly. Both you and Shepard are two of the best friend's I've made in years, and I'd hate to see either of you get hurt."

She flashed him a genuine smile. "I appreciate it Kaidan. But we are soldiers. Getting hurt isn't something we can avoid altogether."

"Don't I know it." Kaidan retracted the hand and began to walk away. "I need to get some rack time, Chief. Just think about what I said. Good night."

"Night, LT," she called after him. Kaidan disappeared around the corner, and Ash turned back to the cupboards. As she prepared her mug of Jasmine tea, Ash thought back over the varied conversations she'd had that night, and the implications they could hold for her love life.

* * *

><p>"Mornin'."<p>

Joker craned his neck around in his chair to find Ashley Williams coming into his cockpit, steaming mug of what smelled like coffee in hand, as she plunked herself down in the seat to his right.

"Well good morning, Chief!" he returned too cheerily for someone this early in the morning. "And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Ashley winced at the high pitch of his tone, her hearing still sensitive from sleep. "Lewiztky and Robinson were getting into it about the biotiball game last night, and I don't have the caffeine to deal with how heated their debates can get. So I figured I'd come up here and pester the best pilot on the _Normandy_ before my shift starts."

"I'm the only pilot on this ship," he pointed out numbly.

"And I must say the competition for that title was simply _fierce._"

She paused mid-sip to look at Joker when he let out a condescending, "Ooooohhh, I see how it is. A certain someone doesn't know how to tell their best buddy Joker just how madly in love with him she is, so she hides her feelings by making fun of him."

Ash rolled her eyes. "You're an incorrigible ass, Joker."

"And I bet you'd just love to sink your teeth into this 'incorrigible ass,' Chief."

"God, I didn't need that image in my head you perverted little bastard." She paused, thinking over her conversations from last night. "Wait. Did you get that from Chakwas?"

Joker only gave her a sly glance and chuckled in the back of his throat.

She openly gawked at him. "You little sneak! Is this what you do all day? Just listen to other people's gossip?"

"Well what am I supposed to do?" he said with a laugh. "I can barely move from here as is. Besides you'd be amazed at what people say when they think you're not listening."

"Uh huh. Doesn't change the fact you're a little skeeve."

He took his hat off and held it over his heart, speaking in an over exaggerated tone of mock civility. "You wound me, Chief. I will have you know I uphold such a laborious duty in order to ensure to safety and cooperation of the crew. It may be a job far removed from the spotlight that doesn't garner a lot of notoriety, but I believe myself humble and dedicated enough to perform such a duty to the best of my abilities."

"Wow. You write the speeches those big Alliance admirals like to spout off when they feel like stroking their egos?"

"You know, I keep submitting ideas but they turn me down every time. Something about my orations being too salacious or rambunctious or something." Joker had a big stupid grin on while he resituated his hat.

Feeling no need to wipe off her own stupid grin, Ashley crossed her legs and turned to the pilot. "So tell me, Joker, was it your civic duty that led you to finding out about the truth between Shepard and I?"

Joker scratched his scraggly beard, pretending to be deep in thought. "Well since you mention it, I remember one day, whilst shifting through various Alliance channels minding my own business, that Shepard's extranet address had a few… loopholes."

"Right," Ash deadpanned.

She saw through just how innocent the pilot's tone was, poorly concealing the bullshit he was spouting off. But Joker was generally fun to talk to, so she humored him while he continued. "Being the upstanding Alliance citizen I am, I decided to probe this breach in our defenses. You know, to better report on how to fix it. When I realized Shepard had a long distance relationship, I had to make sure it was conducive to his mental health."

Clapping her hands in her lap and speaking in mock praise, Ash leaned forward and said, "Well, Mr. Moreau, I must simply commend on your effort above and beyond the call of duty, and I thank you for the services you provide us." She sat back and took another swig of coffee. "Still doesn't change the fact you're a little skeeve."

Joker only laughed at her expense. More seriously, he said, "If it's any consolation, it's not like I got anything juicy whenever you and Shepard talked." He turned to her, giving Ash a malign glare. "I swear you two are the most boring couple ever. I kept coming back expecting hot phone sex, but all you ever talked about was family stuff or weather or favorite movies and other crap. By the way, The Matrix films were cinematic genius. You're just too hard headed to understand them."

Ash rolled her eyes. "Well I am _sooo_ sorry the conversations my boyfriend and I had getting to know each other weren't mentally stimulating for you. And for the record, I did actually like the first Matrix. I just thought the second two were lame."

Joker muttered something that sounded like, "Wasn't stimulating in ANY respect."

The perfect idea on how to torture Joker popped into her head, and Ash grinned evilly. "Although it had been almost two years since Shepard and I saw each other before I joined the _Normandy_, and I must admit I was _this_ close to trying out phone sex. I bet it would have been amazing too."

Joker threw his hand up in exasperation. "Why you gotta do that, Williams? That's like showing a kid delicious caramel apple made just for him, then chucking it into the trash while he watches."

Laughing, Ash stood back up and placed a hand on his shoulder while her glared at her. "Aww, don't worry Joker. I'm sure you'll find something to occupy yourself." She checked the time on her Omni Tool. "Well, looks like my shift starts in five. I'll talk to you later, Fly Boy."

"Yeah whatever," Joker mumbled sourly.

Before she walked away, Ash was struck with an idea even more evil than the last. Acting quickly, she leaned over and snatched Joker's hat right off his head. The man was still reaching up to grab at where it used in shock while the woman scurried away, placing the hat on her head and laughing hysterically the whole way.

"Williams!" Joker called out. "Come back here and give me my hat back!" He tried to lift himself up from his chair, but without his crutches that was proving too difficult, so he flopped back down. "Come on, Williams, give me my hat! This isn't funny anymore! Williams!"

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: So while writing this I found out I LOVE Chakwas's character. She's so witty and just fun to write. I also found out I suck at writing Liara, which partially led to why it took me so long to get this chapter out. I had to rewrite her conversation several times. But I'm glad I did it!<em>

_As I said before, I've been dealing with a lot of issues from both school and my personal life. But right now I'm on Spring Break, so hopefully I'll be able to crank out another chapter or two before I head back into real life. Plus, Play Nice Part 2 should be easier to write. I have interesting plans for the Normandy's other aliens. (Insert Evil Laugh here)_


	9. Chapter 9 - Play Nice, Part 2

Mass Effect is are owned and operated by Bioware and Electronicmart

Chapter 9 – Play Nice, Part 2

* * *

><p>"Wrex."<p>

"Williams. Why are you wearing the pilot's hat?"

"I felt like pissing him off and I knew he wouldn't be able to hunt me down for it."

"Ha! Human can stand to be brought down a few pegs. Keeps calling me Godzilla or something."

"Yup. But anyways, back to why I'm here. Take a look at this."

"Hmmmmm. This is a nice piece of craftsmanship. What do you call it?"

"We call 'em Bowie Knives, after David Bowie, the guy who invented them a few centuries ago."

"I think I would have liked to meet this David Bowie. Anyone who can think up a blade like this is Krogan enough for me."

"I thought you'd like it. You can go ahead and keep that, if you want."

"Really? What's the catch?"

"No catch, I've still got another one at my workbench. Besides, I felt bad about the bayonet you had to sell."

"I don't need your pity. But… thanks. You're alright, Williams. For a human."

"Happy to help out. See you around, Wrex."

"Williams."

…

"Garrus?"

"Yes, Tali?"

"What did we just watch?"

"I think we witnessed a human and a Krogan bonding."

"Oh. I feel… weird."

"I'm just gonna go back to… working on the Mako. Yeah, that's what I should do."

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>An Improved Sighting mod in hand, Ashley walked into Engineering in search of Tali Zorah. The Quarian tended to favor her shotgun in most situations, and Ash wanted to make sure she could hit some targets at least medium range. Walking in, Ash found the engineers to be in more of a flurry than normal. Spying Zorah in her normal spot, Ash made her way to the young woman.<p>

"Hey Zorah," she greeted when she was close enough.

The Quarian spared a quick glance over her shoulder. "Oh, hello Chief Williams. I don't mean to be rude, but you could come back later? We're a little busy here."

"Well I can certainly see that. What happened?"

"Uh, we had something of a power surge and it messed with some of the systems. Right now I'm trying to get a few conductors to line up properly." Her three-fingered hands danced across the holographic display, but stopped when the interface flashed an angry red. "Oh, you little Bosh'tet!" Tali cursed and slammed her hand down on the terminal.

Feeling the need to assist, Ash stepped forward. "Hey, anything I can do help out?"

"No, it's nothing I can't…" Tali trailed off and looked at Ashley, seemingly examining the human woman with her bright violet eyes. Ash was keenly aware of how little she could tell about Quarian emotions what with their faces being hidden behind their masks. "Actually, there is something you can do for me."

She made a 'come-hither' motion with her hand as she walked away, and Ash followed close behind. Tali stopped at an open hatch and turned back to Ash, speaking at a fast pace. "Down through here is circuit board with a series of conductor rods. They have to be set up in the proper sequence in order for power to flow properly throughout the system. I kept having to crawl back down and coming back up in order to test each sequence, but now that you're here I can tell you each new sequence through the comm."

"Sounds easy enough," Ash replied. Putting the mod in her back pocket for later, Ash crouched and started descending down the ladder into the _Normandy's_ inner workings.

"So the ship isn't in danger of blowing up or anything, right?" Ash asked as she moved down.

"No!" Tali responded as she walked back to her terminal. "At least, I don't think so. Probably not."

"That's not very reassuring, Tali," Ash said pointedly.

Reaching the bottom, Ash turned around to examine the room. It was dark, the ceiling was low, and the corridor was barely wide enough for one person to walk normally. Various pipes and wires hung in odd places.

Tali's digitized voice filtered in through Ash's ear piece. "The circuit board you're looking for should already be open."

Sure enough, Ash found a panel hanging away from the wall on its hinges, and a flashlight placed on a nearby shelf illuminated its contents. Ash found bunches of lights and wires she couldn't make heads or tails of. Off to one side were five cylinders hooked up to ports on either side of each them. They looked simple enough to detach and replace.

"The original conductors fried during the power surge," Tali explained. "I forgot how humans color coded their equipment, so I've been trying random sequences. I know for a fact the orange striped one is in the right place."

"Alright." Ash looked over the cylinders, seeing they were currently lined up as red, green, yellow, blue, and orange. "You'd think they would order them according to the color spectrum."

"I would have thought that too, but apparently not. Alright, rotate each of the cylinders besides the orange one to the right."

Ashley began unscrewing the ports connecting the blue tube. The silence stretched on over the comm. as Ash moved from cylinder to cylinder, moving them in place. Normally she might have tried idle chatter, but she didn't know if she and Zorah had anything in common. Besides giving orders and relaying info during missions, the two of them had never taken the time to just talk and get to know each other.

Eventually Ash finished her work. Now the tubes lined up blue, red, green, yellow, and orange. Ash was about to give Zorah the go ahead when she felt something tickling her hand. She looked up at the hand bracing her against the bulkhead to find a Huntsman Spider starting to crawl over it.

"Oh yuck!" She quickly shook her hand, flinging the arachnid away from her toward the access hatch. Ash had a half a mind to go after it and squash it, but the spider scurried out of sight.

"What's wrong?" Tali asked, her voice wavering slightly in panic.

"It's nothing." Ash flicked her hand a few more times, as if to banish the feeling of the bug crawling on her. "I found a little spider is all."

"A… spider? Sorry, I don't have a translation for that."

"It's an eight legged bug from Earth, no bigger than the palm of your hand. I guess the sanitation crews weren't as thorough as we thought. Whatever, it's gone now. I've got the cylinders set up, so try it now."

"Will do." Zorah was silent for a moment, obviously engrossed in her work. "Ah, it's no good. But from here it looks like the green cylinder is in the right spot. Try cycling the red, blue, and yellow ones."

Ash began to do so, and the pair fell back into companionable silence. Ash was willing to let them work like that, until Zorah made a non-committal noise through the comm.

"Something you wanna say, Zorah?" she asked, perhaps a bit too sternly.

"What? Oh, no! It's… nothing." From what she could hear, Ash guessed she had taken the Quarian off guard by talking first.

Changing tactics, she softened her voice. "Look, I didn't mean it like that. If there's something you want to talk about, I'm all ears."

"Well, um," Tali hesitated, trying to think of the best way to approach this. "I was talking with Shepard the other day, and he told about what happened on… Eden Prime."

The mention of that name was like a blow to Ashley's gut. Not a painful one, but significant enough to make her pause in her work for a second. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked quietly.

Tali answered in an equally quiet voice. "I guess I just wanted to say… sorry, I think. I'm sorry about the deaths of your men. I wish there was something I could have done to help prevent it from happening."

Ashley sighed, slumping in the small confines of the maintenance hatch. But not from her own grief. Ashley had made some serious strides in coping with the deaths of her men. But she didn't want another person wallowing on her behalf.

She connected the last coupling for the yellow cylinder and spoke over the comm. again. "I'm set up down here. Try it again."

"Okay," Zorah replied meekly. Another moment's pause, "Still nothing. I think the next sequence should do it."

Squaring her shoulders, Ash resumed her work of replacing the cylinders. This time, however, she spoke over the comm. in a firm voice. "Listen, Zorah, were you the one who built those Geth?"

"Uhh, well yes, my people did build the-"

"That's not what I'm asking. I mean did you specifically build the Geth that killed my men?"

Ash could practically feel the Quarian frown in consternation. "No."

"Alright. Were you the one who programmed them?"

"No," she said, a bit more firmly this time.

"But were you the one ordering the Geth to attack the colony?"

Tali seemed to have run out of patience. "No!"

With a huff, Ash secured the last coupling in place. "Then I don't know what you're apologizing for, Tali. I blame the deaths of my men on Saren and the Geth, not some Quarian girl we found dodging assassins. As far as I'm concerned, you and I are square, so you don't have to feel guilty over something you weren't part of."

"We're squares?"

"Oh, uh, human expression. It means we're good."

Ashley heard Tali sigh in relief over the comm. "That wasn't the reaction I was expecting, but thank you, Chief. For understanding."

"Don't sweat it." Ash briefly wondered if Quarians could actually sweat. "Alright, Tali, the conductors are in place. Cross your fingers and let's hope this works."

"Another human idiom I'm sure," Tali said with a bit of humor in her voice. She was quiet for a moment before saying, "Yes! That did it. I have power across the board and systems are looking optimal."

"Sweet!" Ash exulted, closing up the circuit board and locking it up. "You need anything else done while I'm down here?"

"No, that should be it. Thank you, Williams, I really appre-"

All Ash received in warning was a sharp intake of breath over the comm. An instant later Ash's head was ringing with a scream that was so high pitched it actually made the communication device in her ear short circuit, making Ash wince in pain. Still hearing Tali scream from all the way down in the hatch, Ash scrambled to make her way back out.

Upon emerging back into the engineering bay, Ash was greeted with the sight of Tali flailing her limbs, jumping about, and screaming, "GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!"

Engineer Adams stood nearby, looking just as worried as Ash felt, with a data pad in hand. "Just hold still for a second, Tali!" he pleaded. Suddenly, his hand lashed out in a sweeping motion, and Ash saw the data pad connect with something on Tali's suit and sent it flying off.

The thing landed close to where Ash was standing, and now she could see it was the spider she had encountered earlier in the hatch. Before the little bugger could right itself and scurry away, Ash brought her boot down on it with a satisfying crunch, even pivoting her heel into it for good measure.

Adams moved to Tali's said and place a comforting hand on her shoulder. The girl was now visibly shuddering, wiping her gloves along her arms as if to brush away the presence of the spider. "Gah! What in the world was that disgusting monstrosity?"

"I'm thinking that was the spider I found down below," Ash supplied as she moved toward the pair. "Sorry your first encounter with an Earth native didn't go smoothly."

Tali shook her head. "Ugh! That thing crawled onto my hand and looked at me with those beady little eyes. It was _hideous._"

"If it means anything, not a lot of humans like spiders either," Adams said with a chuckle. "Listen Tali, the _Normandy's_ running at tip top shape again. Why don't you take a break and go get something to eat?"

Tali stood straight and took a deep breath, regaining her composure. "No. No, I'm fine. It was just some stupid bug. I'll be fine working until my break."

"Tali, your break ended over forty minutes ago," Adams informed her with a pointed stare. He turned to Ashley. "Chief, how about you show Tali up to the mess hall? Make sure she gets some grub."

Ashley proffered a casual salute. "Can do, I could go for a snack anyway. You coming, Zorah?"

Tali looked nervously between the two humans, but she relented, following Ashley as they made their way to the elevator. As the lift began to ascend, Ash noticed Tali was still dry washing her hands.

"I take it Quarians don't take kindly to bugs on their ships?" Ash prompted.

Tali shook her head emphatically. "Any organisms not deemed beneficial to ship life are labeled as an infestation, and we would stamp them out as quickly as possible. Even before Quarians took to living with the Flotilla, Rannoch was devoid of any insect life as other species would recognize them. My people had never dealt with bugs until we traveled to new worlds."

"You mean to tell me there are no mosquitoes or cockroaches on Rannoch? Shit, sign me up for a full time home there."

"I'd help build that house were it not for the probable Geth fleet stationed there waiting to blow anything that enters through the relay." The elevator stopped and opened up to the mess hall. Tali and Ashley walked over to the kitchen area, the human selecting a simple ration bar and the Quarian taking out a tube of nutrient paste. As they sat down at one of the tables, Tali asked, "So are there lots of… spiders on Earth?"

Ash began unwrapping the bar. "Well, other insects outnumber humans like a million to one on Earth, and there are enough spiders that make a living out of hunting them. Usually."

"Usually?"

"Well, some spiders to get pretty big. Like, big enough to hunt small birds."

Tali shook her head as she shuddered again. "No offense, Williams, but I don't think I ever want to go to Earth."

Ashley smirked. "If we ever have a movie night, remind me to bring in some really cheesy sci fi movies where the spiders are as big as trucks."

Tali looked at her with narrowed eyes, in what she assumed was the Quarian equivalent of a glare. "You humans are very strange."

"Says the girl who spends all her time in a super high tech suit."

"Touché."

The pair were quiet for a moment as they dug into their food. Ash watched in fascination as Tali hooked up one end of the tube to a port on her mask.

"So is that stuff… good?" Ash asked warily.

Tali paused to detach the tube and swallow what was currently in her mouth. "Well, I'd certainly agree it's good for you. But it doesn't really have a taste, and you have to be careful when cooking it in order to get the consistency right."

"No taste at all?" Tali nodded her head in affirmation. "You know I'm pretty sure Shepard would gladly buy you some better rations if you asked."

To her surprise, Tali actually chuckled. "These are the better rations. Better to have no taste than having to choke down sludge with the same taste and feel as mud. To be honest I can't believe you eat those rations bars. They look like bricks."

Ash glanced down at the partially unwrapped bar in her hand. "Hey, I'll have you know ration bars are a staple of a marine's diet." To emphasize her point, Ash bit off a piece. Or, at least attempted to. The piece broke away with an audible crack, and Ash tried to mask just how much effort it took to actually chew it.

She actually despised rations bars, and judging from the eye roll behind Tali's mask, she wasn't doing a good job of hiding that fact.

"Whatever you say, Chief. I still choose tasteless sludge over slabs of rock."

Ash couldn't help laughing, at both Tali's remark and her own flummoxed state. It must have proved infectious, as she could hear Tali chuckling behind her mask as well.

The pair chatted for a bit, swapping details human and Quarian cultures. Tali told her about the Pilgrimage, and Ash recounted what it was like constantly moving from home to home during her childhood. In some respects, Tali was a lot like Liara. Somewhat shy, unassuming, soft spoken. But like with Liara, say the right words and you could get Tali to come out of her metaphorical shell. She was funny, kind, and endearing in a little sister kind of way.

Tali was describing her life aboard the Rayya with her mother and father when Ash flashed back to a few days prior. To when Tali had accidentally noticed Ash and Shepard were acting as more than comrades in arms. Shepard said he'd spoken to Zorah, and the next day there hadn't been any awkwardness during their mission together. Tali hadn't mentioned anything about it yet, but Ash was well known for being a glutton for punishment, so she decided to test the waters.

"Hey, Tali, can I ask you something a bit more personal?"

The girl crossed her arms on the table and leaned forward, cocking her head to one side. "Sure. Is it something about Quarian lifestyle?"

"No, nothing like that. I was wondering if we could talk about what you saw the other day. Between Shepard and I."

Tali sat straight up again. "Oh, right. I guess I should apologize for interrupting what I assume was a personal moment. Shepard found me later and explained you two are together, so that cleared a lot of things up. Um, it's really not my place, but you should consider keeping that kind of stuff confined to personal quarters. You know, to avoid making people like me feeling like a third cog."

"A third cog?"

"Oh! A Quarian idiom, literally meaning having a third cog in an engine where only two are needed."

"Ah, I see what you mean. Only humans call it a third wheel, you know, because bikes only need two wheels."

Tali canted her head, the Quarian way of showing confusion. "What's a bike?"

Ashley chuckled at her friend's naivety. "I tell you another time." Turning serious again, she said, "So you're okay with the Commander being involved with a soldier under his command?"

She only shrugged her shoulders indifferently. "Of course, why wouldn't I be? It happened all the time back on the Flotilla."

The implications of what Tali meant dawned meant dawned on Ashley. "You mean you don't have regulations against fraternization?"

Tali's bright eyes widened as she realized what Ashley was trying to say. "Oh! I keep forgetting human ships aren't held to the same standard as Quarian ships. So you're saying dating among crew members is prohibited?"

Ash leaned back in her chair. "Well, not entirely, but if it's found out two crew member in the same chain of command are in a relationship, the punishment can be pretty severe."

"That's so strange to me. On Quarian ships almost every relationship happens between ship mates. Mostly because after our Pilgrimage we have so few chances to actually spend time away from the ships we choose to devote our lives to. I should have known it wouldn't be the same for humans, seeing as how your culture doesn't revolve around ships like ours does."

Tali leaned forward and grasped one of Ashley's hands in her own before the human could react. "Look, I haven't known either of you for very long, but I get the feeling you and Shepard care about each other a great deal. So for what it's worth, your secret is safe with me. I promise not to tell anyone else."

Ash narrowed her eyes. "Anyone else? Who have you told already?"

She saw Tali's eyes glance sideways. "No one," she said innocently.

"Tali," she warned.

"Oh fine! I told Garrus, alright?"

"Vakarian? Why would you tell him?"

"He's the only other Dextro on board. Who am I supposed to talk to?"

"Well, yeah, I guess that's fair. So how did he take it?"

Tali shrugged. "He didn't really seem affected by it. Fraternization among Turians isn't a big deal for them, I suppose."

Ash was quiet for a moment, tapping along the table while she thought. "I can live with that. Shepard and I know we probably can't keep our relationship a secret forever. We're just trying to make sure it doesn't get out too fast."

"You shouldn't have any problem with that," Tali said helpfully. "I talk with Adams and the other engineers a lot too, and none of them seem to be catching on to you and Shepard."

Ashley flashed her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Tali."

Tali nodded her head, and Ash could see her eyes dancing with delight. She looked to be about to say something, but at that moment the pair looked up to the ceiling as the lights dimmed before coming back on again.

"Oh dear," Tali said while standing up. "I'd better head back down and make sure they're not about to the break the ship."

"That might be best. Oh! Before you go." As she stood, Ash reached into her back pocket and produced the mod, tossing it to Tali. "An Improved Sighting Mod. I figured you could use it on your shotgun, so you can make you shots land more often."

Tali took a moment to examine the small piece of tech before looking up to Ashley, and she could almost see the smile behind the Quarian's mask. "Thank you, Ashley. You're a very good friend."

With that, Tali walked back into the elevator, while Ash took care of her trash with a smile on her face.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Ashley returned to her work bench to continue cleaning her gear. She idly scratched her head where the rim of Joker's hat had chaffed somewhat. She had finally given it back a few hours ago, after Shepard came to her practically begging.<p>

"_Ash, just give Joker his hat back. That man has called me sixteen separate times today to complain about it. So please, _please_, just give him the hat back. For the sake of my sanity."_

Ashley was cleaning her sniper rifle when she heard footsteps coming her way. She turned, expecting to see Shepard, but was surprised to see Officer Vakarian coming toward her, holding one of the Haliat 3 assault rifles they'd picked up a few days ago.

"Hey Vakarian," she greeted warily. They might have been on amicable terms, but Vakarian was different from the other aliens on the _Normandy._ The Williams name hadn't been slandered by the Quarians, Krogan, or Asari. It was nothing personal, but Ash couldn't see herself opening up to him like the others. "Something you need?"

"Yes, it would appear I'm in need of assistance for once," he joked in his odd dual toned voice. He held up the rifle for Ash to inspect. "The Haliat is a great line of rifles, but as it turns out, Turian cleaning equipment isn't as compatible with a human engineering as one would hope. Do you have an extra cleaning kit?"

"Sure." She pointed to one of the shelving units she had installed since claiming the work bench as her own. "I keep my tools in there. You should have everything you need."

"Thanks, Chief." Ash moved herself and her rifle components off to one side so Vakarian could work next to her. He placed his rifle on the bench, but seemed to hesitate as he turned to her. "It's alright if I work here?"

She shrugged. "Yeah. Nothing against you, but I'm protective of my gear, so I just wanna make sure you put all the stuff back where it belongs."

Ash heard the Turian chuckle as he rifles through the draw, pulling out tools he would need. "Damn. And here I thought I'd get some privacy to install all those listening devices and trackers into your guns."

She couldn't help the small upward quirks at the corners of her mouth. "Well, I was planning sabotaging the hydraulic system for the crane on the Mako while you worked, but Shepard waved me off. Said something about wanting to play nice to the other races."

"Ah yes, I can see it now." Vakarian made a grand sweeping gesture in front them as he pretended to read a head line. "Human squishes Turian with lumbering tank. Sparks off Second Contact War."

The two shared a laugh at that idea, then fell into silence as they focused on their respective tasks. Ash watched on as Vakarian carefully dissected his rifle, laying out the various components in a precise order, making sure to clean them with absolute precision. She admired the way he took care of his equipment, how he made positively sure everything he used was in top condition. On the battlefield he was a soldier who favored precision and perfect timing over sheer fire power and overwhelming force. Obviously that translated over into his personal affairs as well.

Vakarian was a good man. The only thing stopping Ash from inviting him out for beers was the fact he was Turian. She was certain the wariness was mutual. Vakarian was a popular name in Turian society. She wouldn't be surprised if he had lost some kind of family during the First Contact War. Although it did speak volumes that they were willing to joke about the possibility of a second.

"So have you kept in touch with Dr. Michel?" Ash asked, drawing a blank on anything else to talk about. Vakarian turned to her, with what she assumed was a confused look for Turians. "It just seems like you two knew each other."

Vakarian nodded his head as he resumed his work. "The doctor and I have shared a few messages ever since I left the Citadel, but nothing substantial. We've known each other for a few years now. I paid special attention to making sure the area around her clinic stayed safe, and in return Michel would assist whenever C-Sec officers brought in victims or perps in bad condition."

Ash noted just how stiffly he spoke and stood. Vakarian was usually the one making jokes and remaining relaxed during missions. Something seemed… off.

"You know, Shepard told me he was going to put in a good word for Dr. Michel," Ash tried. "Maybe get her position in a more main stream place, like Huerta Memorial."

Vakarian hummed in acknowledgement. "He told me that too. I hope everything works out for her. Chloe… deserves something better."

_First name basis, huh?_ That was definitely strange, considering how formal Vakarian treated others. And Ash was pretty sure the last sentence had a double meaning. She just couldn't tell what, yet.

Ash turned to face him fully and leaned her hip on the bench. "Jeeze, Vakarian, you talk about her like the two of you had a bad break up or something."

Vakarian abruptly paused in his work, and he stalled long enough to let Ash know she had said something right. "I don't know what you mean," he said shiftily, refusing to look at her.

Ashley's eyes widened and jaw fell open of their own accord as realization dawned. "Shut up."

With a sigh, Vakarian put his tools down and gripped the table in front of him, but refused to comment further and affirm her suspicions.

Completely undeterred, Ash barreled on. "You and Dr. Michel were a thing?"

Letting out an exasperated noise, Vakarian relented and said, "Yes, a Turian dating a human is very strange. Can we just leave it at that?"

Ash huffed and rolled her eyes. "Fine. Deny me the juiciest piece of gossip I've heard since joining this ship. I guarantee Joker will eventually find out somehow, though."

Vakarian lifted his head to the sky and growled in the back of his throat. "Damn that insufferable human! No offense," he quickly added to Ash.

He turned to Ashley with an expression she knew he reserved for criminals when he didn't want to give anything away. He stayed quiet for a moment, seeming to be gauging Ashley with his electric blue eyes. To her credit, Ash stood dauntless under his scrutiny, a placid expression on her face as they weighed each other out.

After a moment, Vakarian turn to face her fully and said, "Alright, I'll tell you about Michel and I. But first, you have to give me something to ponder over too."

Ash crossed her arms in an authoritative stance. "And what would that be?"

"I want to know what's going on between you and the Commander."

If Vakarian had been expecting a reaction, he didn't get it. Ashley remained stoic and unreadable. He narrowed his eyes at her. "You already knew I know about you two?"

"Zorah said she'd told you," Ash said with a casual shrug.

"You and Tali are on speaking terms now?"

"Yup. I was there during the spider incident. Then we had a bite to eat and we talked. Nice girl."

Vakarian hummed thoughtfully. "I wasn't expecting that from you. Shepard said you weren't the quickest to trust aliens."

"And that's still true. But since we're on a small ship and working together, it seems kinda stupid not to at least try and talk to you all."

"I guess that's fair. But back to my point, are you going to tell me about you and Shepard?"

Ash pushed herself off the table and stepped closer, getting into Vakarian's personal space. "And just why exactly do you care?" she challenged.

To his credit, Vakarian neither flinched nor backed down, having dealt with hundreds of interrogations before. "I've read through your Alliance regulations, and I know it specifically wards against fraternization like this. I have no intentions of trying to stop whatever it is you two have, but I want to make certain it won't disrupt the Commander from doing his job. Bringing Saren down is the top priority, and nothing can distract the Commander from that."

The two of them stared each other down for moment. Ash wanted to make sure she got the message across that Vakarian couldn't push her around to get information. Tersely, she said, "Two years ago Shepard got called onto Arcturus to be debriefed about a mission. He requested another marine detail for backup, and my unit happened to be on shore leave at the time. I'm not at liberty to give details, but suffice to say the mission was a complete success."

"Naturally," Vakarian added.

Ash paused a moment, thinking of how best to explain what came next. "While my men and I were celebrating our first real mission being a win, Shepard stopped by. We talked, shared some beers, and before I knew it he and I were spending the night together in my apartment."

She looked away and her voice took on a softer quality. "We spent the next couple of days together before we had to ship out again, and in that time John and I realized we care about each other."

"John?"

"Yes, his first name. Anyway, he and I agreed to keep in touch, and hopefully years from then we'd both have the opportunity to settle down and figure out just what it is we are."

"Judging from recent events, I'm guessing that's not how it turned out."

"Wow, with perception powers like that you must be cop or something," she said sarcastically. Ash smirked at his playful glare, but sobered as she continued. "After Eden Prime I was the only one left of my unit. Anderson assigned me to the _Normandy_ because he didn't want my skills to go to waste, but I get the feeling he also did it because he knew about Shepard and I. Anderson thinks having me under Shepard's command will actually help keep him focused on the mission."

Garrus crossed his arms as he mulled over what Ash had told him. "So you two are serious then? This isn't some fling born out of convenience?"

"No, this isn't just about sex. I'm here because I want to make Saren pay for what he's done. And I know Shepard's going to be the one to take him down."

By the end of Ash's story, Vakarian had loosened his stance, dropping the imposing demeanor. "I'm sorry if I overstepped any bounds. I thought what you and Shepard have was something more casual. I wasn't trying to imply you didn't care about each other."

Ashley relaxed herself and took a step away. "I do get where you're coming from. If word got out Shepard was dating a soldier under his command, it could set both of our careers back. Maybe damage our reputations beyond repair."

Vakarian leaned his hip on the table causally. "Fraternization regs are similar for Hierarchy Ships. Only punishments are much more severe for the superior officer, and less so for the subordinate. That's why I was so worried about you and the Commander. Shepard's been good to me, and I don't want to see him dragged down by backroom politics."

He paused, and Ash remained silent as she waited for him to continue. "If what you're saying is true, and you and Shepard really do care about each other…" Vakarian shrugged lamely. "In the end I just want what's best for you both, so I guess your secret is safe with me."

She raised her brow at him. "You know you don't have to do that. If Alliance officials start making inquiries you don't have to cover for us if it puts you in a difficult position."

"Yes, I suppose any good Turian would report any illegal fraternization he witnessed," Vakarian said with a nod. His mandibles splayed out in what she had determined to be a grin for their species. "But as it turns out I've never been a very good Turian."

Ash felt herself smiling too at the positive change in tempo of their conversation. "Please tell me that's not the line you used to pick up Michel," she teased. "I bet Garrus Vakarian is so suave he has all the ladies trailing on his heels."

Vakarian chuckled bashfully and ducked his head. "I do well enough for myself. Though I certainly wouldn't say I have 'A lover in every port.'" He looked away, becoming hesitant once more.

"It was the voice, if you must know," he admitted. "I'd never heard a human with a French accent before, and then add in the flaming red hair and the green eyes as big as dinner plates, she was so exotic and I couldn't help being drawn in. I was getting off a string of bad relationships with Turian women, so I was looking for something different. Something with more stability, I guess."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think better stability would be had if you dated your own species, not a new one."

"Then you obviously don't know Turian women very well. Unless their looking for a man to settle down with, most of the women of my species approach relationships casually. For them it's a means to let off steam with only the bare minimum of attachment. For younger Turian guys like me, there aren't a lot of opportunities find a girl who's interested in a more invested relationship."

Vakarian looked away as memories came back to him, and Ash saw his features soften, as best they could for a Turian. "I met Chloe about a year after starting C-Sec, when I was posted to a new beat that overlooked her clinic. We warmed up to each other pretty quick, seeing as how we both sort of outliers for our species. In that time I got to learn about Chloe Michel, not the Doctor who worked in the Wards. I realized she's kind, caring, but steadfast to her belief in helping others, and stubborn enough not to let anyone get in her way.

"I spent three months working up the courage to ask her out on a date. I thought for sure she'd turn me down, but instead her eyes took on a sparkle I'd only rarely ever seen before and she agreed with almost no hesitation. Chloe later told me she'd been harboring feelings for me too, but until I asked she never knew how to approach the subject.

"This might sound cliché, but the first couple of years we spent together were some of the happiest I've ever had," he said with a warm chuckle. "Dating a different species was new for both of us, and as a result there wasn't any real pressure to live up to. It was weird, exhilarating, and downright awkward at time. But things were just so easy between us. It felt like there wasn't anything holding us back from who we really were. It was easy to let go of my worries around Chloe and just enjoy the time I could spend with her."

Ash listened with rapt attention. This was a side of Vakarian she never imagined she'd be seeing. The Turian was so cocksure of himself all the time, leaving a near-visible trail of self-assurance wherever he went. Seeing this more emotional side was a bit jarring. And it was because of how caring his words for Dr. Michel were that made her uneasy about what came next.

"I get the feeling things didn't stay that way," she said solemnly.

The small smile on Vakarian's face slipped away, replaced with a stoic expression. "No. No it didn't."

He sighed and dragged a hand backward over his fringe. "It was easier for us to be together while I was still a new cop to the force. More time to myself and less work to keep me at the office. But I wanted to do more, help more people, so I started rising in rank. It came with more leeway to conduct myself how I wanted, but it also came with more responsibilities and more red tape I'd have to adhere to.

"Before I realized what was happening, Chloe and I were spending less and less time together. And even when we could see each other we'd spend more time arguing about our careers than actually acting like a couple." Vakarian was speaking with venom in his voice now, but Ash had the feeling he was directing the anger at himself. "I was too blind to see I was driving a wedge between us with my work. I was working bigger and more dangerous cases, and that would only make her worry about my safety and become distracted at the clinic. And I…"

Vakarian cut himself off, closing his eyes and clenching his fists. Very quietly, he said, "I started getting paranoid. I was so afraid I'd come home one day and find her in bed with another man. If that happened I… I don't know what I would have done."

Hearing all this, it made Ash feel shocked, sad about what happened with Vakarian, and more than a little hypocritical. She and Shepard had been in a relationship for two years now, most of which they spent with light years of distance in between them, and they were still going strong. And here was Vakarian, a good man who probably spent a good chunk of his life with a woman he likely loved, only to have it come crumbling down around him in the end.

And it struck her how amazingly human that was. Ash had grown up thinking Turians were this strange, unknowable race that placed themselves above humanity. She never had reason to think humans and Turians could be similar in any way. And yet here was Garrus Vakarian, a Turian who dated a woman and had his heart crushed like any other human Ash had known. He wasn't an alien with problems Ashley couldn't understand. She realized Garrus was just another man, one who had desires and things that could hurt him, just like Ash. It was a sobering revelation. It finally clicked with her how easy it was for Shepard to trust aliens like they were any other human. How if you could look past the skin and the race, it turns out different species aren't all that different.

"Shit, I'm sorry Garrus," she consoled. "It sounds like you both really cared for each other. I really don't know what to say, but… I'm sorry."

"I appreciate it, Ash," he said with a nod. "But I'm a big boy. You don't have to go all sappy on me."

She was glad to hear some of the humor return to his voice. "But why would you tell me all that?" she asked, genuinely curious. "It's not like we're exactly the best of friends."

He answered with a shrug. "Live through stuff like that and you can keep it bottled up for only so long before unloading on somebody. The past two weeks I've been able to put it behind me with my work and focus on the mission, but we started talking about you and Shepard and I guess it just came back up."

Ash could relate, remembering the breakdown she had on the Citadel two weeks ago...

_Wait, two weeks? That would put the date at…_

Ash's eyes widened as realization dawned. "You broke up with Michel the day we met you?"

Garrus nodded solemnly. "Her being held hostage made us reach our boiling point. Chloe was always worried I might run afoul of some crime boss I wouldn't be able to put away, and then they'd come after us out of revenge. That wasn't exactly how it happened with Fist's thugs, but it was close enough that it left her unnerved.

"She wasn't too happy to hear I planned on leaving the Citadel when I went to check on her later," he said with a nervous chuckle. "We both knew what we had couldn't survive with me being so far away, and we realized it wasn't working anymore. That our relationship was going to fail anyway, so why prolong it? We ended it on good terms, I think." Garrus shook his, closing his eyes. Morosely, he said, "Sometimes I think about what I did wrong. If there was anything I could have done differently. Maybe I could have-"

"Garrus," Ash cut in pointedly. He opened his eyes and turned to her with a weary gaze. "You and I both know you'll only torture yourself following that line of thought. Believe me; I've been there too ever since what happened with the 212. Nothing good comes of it."

He turned to face her fully. "Well you seem to be getting along just fine," he said with a gesture of his hand. "And my sob story pales in comparison to what you had to go through. What's your secret?"

Ash pursed her lips and thought a moment. "Just do what Shepard told me. Don't focus on how it ended badly and try to remember all the good times you had together."

Garrus hummed thoughtfully, and he stood up straight again, regaining some of his self-confidence. "You're right. I won't do myself any favors wallowing. It's about time I actually act like I'm moving on."

At that moment they both saw a subdued flash, and Garrus brought up his wrist to see his Omni Tool was buzzing with an incoming message. Ash couldn't see the contact, but Garrus's demeanor immediately brightened upon seeing who it was. He pressed a command an initiated an audio connection.

"What can I do you for, Tali?" he asked, the lightheartedness Garrus usually spoke with returning in full.

"Hey Garrus. I was tinkering with the _Normandy's_ weapon outputs, and I think I found something that can boost the Mako's damage with the cannon. Come by and have a look?"

"I'll only be a moment," he said with a smile. Garrus closed his tool and glanced down at his partially disassembled rifle before turning back to Ash. "You mind finishing this up for me? That girl doesn't like it when you keep her waiting."

"Are you sure you're comfortable leaving your gun with a human?" she teased. "I might rig the trigger to activate an injection with a specially made Turian poison."

"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you," he returned smugly. "I installed a demolitions pack into your armor with a dead man's switch. You'll be blown sky high before you can say 'Suck it lizard face!'"

Ash laughed as she moved to work on his rifle. "I'll take care of this, Garrus, don't worry. You and Tali go do your tech thing."

"Thanks, Chief." With that Garrus turned and made his way to engineering. Ash was about to start putting the rifle back together when she heard him call her.

She turned back to see Garrus standing a little ways away, giving her a serious look. "Shepard told me about what happened on Eden Prime. I am sorry about what happened to your unit, but I'm glad you made it out. The galaxy could use more people like you."

_People, not just humans,_ she noted. "Thanks, Garrus," Ash said with a genuine smile. Giving each other one last nod, they turned back to their respective tasks. For a moment, Ash thought she had just witnessed something important, and not the bonding moment she and Garrus had just had. She pondered for a few seconds, but it didn't come back to her, so Ash shrugged it off.

* * *

><p><em>12:10<em>

_Come on, Williams, just twenty more minutes and you can head to chow time._

The rumbling coming from her stomach promised not to make that waiting easy on her.

Ashley stood at her workbench, going through the repetitions of cleaning various weapons. She'd finished with her own gear some time ago, and Vakarian's assault rifle not long after that. Now she was making sure the various spare weaponry they currently had on hand were properly maintained and cleaned. Top condition guns went for a better price on the Citadel than weapons sold straight from the battlefield they were found on. Ash would move on to the spare sets of armor after her lunch break.

She wanted to do the same for all of the mods they had, but Shepard had sequestered those for himself, seeing as how he was in charge of allocating who got what equipment for groundside missions. As was his right as the commanding officer of the _Normandy._

Ash was finishing putting a Raikou pistol back together when her comm. started going off. She hit the connect button and Joker's voice filled her ear.

"Hey Chief, Shepard wants to talk to you. Said to meet him up in his cabin."

"Why does Shepard want to talk to me?" she asked already starting to put her things away before leaving her station. "And why didn't he just come down here to talk?"

"I dunno, he wouldn't say. Maybe he wants to have a chat about respecting other crew member's personal effects."

Ash couldn't stop the smirk from growing on her face. "Aww, is someone still mad about having their hat taken away for a bit?"

Joker answered by abruptly closing the comm. with a burst of static. Laughing it off, Ash made her way to the elevator and rode it up to the crew deck. She unfortunately had to pass by the kitchen area, and the tempting aromas coming from the cooking food made her mouth water. But, Shepard had asked to see her, and that took priority over food, no matter how much her stomach argued otherwise.

Ash stopped in front of his door and knocked politely, palming the door control when she heard him say, "Come in."

She walked in and was immediately greeted to the sight of Shepard standing up from his desk, a large smile on his face as he put a data pad down. "Joker said you wanted to see me," Ash prompted.

"Indeed I did. Come have a look." Shepard moved past her and further into his quarters, beckoning for Ash to follow. She followed him to his bed, and before her one track mind made any assumptions, she noticed the two covered silver platters resting on the sheets.

"What's all this?"

"This," he said, gesturing to the whole ensemble, "is the best idea I had for a date. Complete with a private locale, fitting music," at this he picked up a remote and hit a button, causing low, smooth jazz music to start playing throughout the cabin, "and the finest cuisine the _Normandy_ has to offer."

He removed the coverings on the platters with a grand flourish, revealing their meals. For both of them to eat he selected grilled chicken salad, mashed potatoes with gravy, and bread rolls with synthetic butter.

"This is the exact same gruel we'd be eating in the mess today," Ash said with a laugh.

"Yes, but does the mess hall come with mood lighting?" Here he pressed another button and the lights in the cabin dimmed to a more romantic setting. John then reached into a personal cooler and pulled out a bottle of brown liquid. "Or delicious beverages of Greenore Single Grain 8 Year whiskey?"

Ashley's brow rose, impressed but not fully satisfied. "You realize we're not allowed to drink while on duty."

"I'm a Spectre. I hereby declare that rule dumb and null and void."

Ash only shook her head in amusement and crossed her arms as she stepped closer, giving him a deprecating smile.

She could see some of John's enthusiasm falter, but his smile remained intact, and he looked down at the bottle in his hands bashfully. "It feels like I wasn't paying a lot of attention to you the last few days, and I was starting to feel like a shitty boyfriend. So I figured I'd set up something nice to show how much you mean to me." He coughed nervously into his fist. "I understand this might seem a bit forward. I just wanted to do some-"

Ash closed the distance between them and looped her hands around his neck to pull him into a quick but passionate kiss. She felt his free hand instinctively settle on the curve of her waist. Ash pulled away and looked into his deep blue eyes, a mere inch between their lips, and said, "I think it's perfect."

John smiled and rested his forehead against hers. "You're perfect."

She chuckled and swatted his shoulder playfully. "I'm sorry, but you are so cliché."

"I try."

Reluctantly, Ash pulled away, taking the bottle of whiskey with her to inspect. "This is a good brand," she commented as she sat down on the bed.

John sat down across from her, pulling out two sets of silverware and two glasses, passing one each to her. "Truthfully I don't know much about whiskey. I was talking with an old buddy of mine and that's what he recommended."

"Well I think your friend has good taste." Ash opened the bottle and poured a small glass for herself, doing the same for Shepard. Setting the bottle aside, they raised their glasses and chinked them together in toast.

"To the _Normandy,_" John said proudly, "the best crew I've ever worked with."

"To you, Shepard," Ash said warmly, "the best commander I've ever worked with."

With large smiles, they downed their glasses. Ash poured them another round and they dug into their meals.

John swallowed a bite of lettuce. "So I've been hearing some pretty strange rumors," he started casually.

"Oh, and what would those be?" Ash asked, feigning ignorance.

"Well, some crew members have been saying they've been seeing you chatting with the aliens on the _Normandy._ And I thought, 'That's just preposterous! Ash is way too thick headed to mess around with a bunch of aliens.'"

She gave him a mild glare as she ate spoonful of mashed potatoes. "I'd choose your next words very wisely, Shepard," she warned.

John only chuckled. "I didn't expect you to warm up to them so quickly is all. And it sounds like you're really getting along. Liara actually came out of her hidey hole yesterday, and some of the crew members can talk to Wrex without shitting their pants. I'm proud of you."

Ash flushed at his praised and looked down at her meal. "They're really not so bad when you get to know them. And I get what you mean now, how they're people like you and me. Especially Vakarian. He might act like he's full of himself, but he has relationship problems just like any human."

John sputtered on his food. "Relationship problems?"

"That's something you should probably ask him about yourself. It's not my place to tell."

He grinned knowingly. "I honestly thought I'd never see you two getting along. I'm happy you proved me wrong."

John dug back into his food, but made a sound in the back of his throat and gestured with is fork for Ashley to wait. He leaned back and reached under his bed, pulling out a decently sized box and placing it on the sheets between them. "There was one serious thing I wanted to talk about. I also heard you've been helping the guys out in regards to their gear."

Ash hummed thoughtfully. "Yeah, I guess."

"It's not a guess, you have. And it made me realize the perfect job for you!" He pushed the box toward her. Ash put her fork down and opened it to find all of the weapon and armor mods they had picked up since starting their mission.

She looked back to John, who was beaming. "I am officially appointing you as the arms master of the ground team. From here I give you the duty of deciding which weapons, mods, and armor are best suited for everyone cleared to go on missions."

Ashley gawked at him. "But that's your job! You're the commanding officer."

"That I am, but as a Spectre and the leader of the ground missions, I've found I'm a bit stretched for time on a day to day basis. And since you're in need of an official job and this is already something you're good at, I decided you would be able to take this duty off my hands."

"So you're just being lazy and passing the buck," she said with a good natured grin.

John titled his head and pondered her statement. "Yeah, that too probably. But you deserve it. There's no one else I'd entrust with this."

Ash glowed at his praise. "Thank you, commander."

He nudged her knee with his foot. "No ranks on date night. This is just you and me."

"Date night. Is this going to be a regular thing?"

"Well, it can be if you want it to."

She flashed him a dazzling smile. "I'd like that, John."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: I have absolutely no clue as to what engineering on a spaceship entails. I just picked a situation that fit the dialogue I wanted to get across and was simple enough to follow.<em>


	10. Chapter 10 - Down Range

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Barks

Chapter 10 – Down Range

* * *

><p>Ashley was in the mess hall finishing her lunch and chatting with a few other crew members when she heard someone call out her name.<p>

She looked over to find Private Joans the Requisition Officer standing by the elevator. Ash stood up and bade her goodbyes to her friends, deposited her dishes in the washer and made her way over the young ensign.

"What's up, Joans?"

"All the requisition orders are in!" he answered cheerily. He turned to the open elevator and picked up a large box from the hover trolley he used to transport his wares. "The package you ordered came in as well, so here you go!"

"Really?" She accepted the offered box, grunting somewhat at how heavy it was. "The site we ordered it from said it wouldn't make it to the Citadel for a few more days."

"Well…" Joans stood straight and crossed his arms behind his back, looking proud of himself. "I may have called in a favor and helped grease the wheels of the delivery service a little bit. Besides, now you don't have to wait another three weeks before we came back to the Citadel."

Ashley flashed him a grateful smile. "You didn't have to do that, Richard. But thank you, it was very sweet."

Joans flushed a bit and his smile grew wider. He moved aside so Ash could step into the elevator. As the doors closed, she fumbled with her hands to bring up her Omni Tool to make a call.

"Go for Zorah," she heard the Quarian say on the other end.

"Hey Tali. Are you busy right now?"

"No, nothing pressing at the moment since we're in dock. Why?"

"Want to be a super friend and help me out with something in the cargo bay?"

The comm. was quiet for a moment as Tali thought. "Sure, why not. What are we doing?"

"You'll see. Oh, and get Vakarian too."

"Sounds good. I'll see you in a minute." With that, Tali disconnected and Ash closed down her tool.

"Sounds like you're really getting along with the _Normandy's_ new crew members," Joans commented with a lazy grin.

"Yeah. Zorah and Vakarian are pretty cool when you get to know them." She was about put her Tool away when she remembered something. "Oh! I almost forgot to give you your stipend for ordering this for me."

Ash fired up her Tool to transfer a few credits, but Joans waved her off. "It's not that much; you don't have to do that for me."

She frowned at him. "You sure? You paid out of your pocket to get this thing too."

"True, but I'm not the one landing on dangerous planets being shot at all the time," Joans replied easily. "It's the least I can do to help out, so don't worry about it."

"Well, alright then." Ash couldn't help feeling somewhat confused. And the nervous set to Richard's smile was peculiar in a way she couldn't nail down.

The elevator door opening ended her musings, and Joans said, "Well, I have to get back to my station. Have fun setting your system up, Ash."

_Well, it's not like he's not allowed to use my first name. So why does it feel like that should be important?_ "Sure. I'll talk to you later, Joans." With that, the ensign nodded in farewell and moved his trolley toward his alcove off to the side of the cargo bay, leaving Ash to wonder if she had missed something.

However, Garrus and Tali were waiting for her by the elevator, and Ash easily put her other concerns to the back of her mind, striding toward them with a grin.

"So what exactly is it that you've dragged Tali and I into, Chief?" Garrus asked.

Ash held the box out to him. "Here, hold this." Garrus narrowed his eyes at the strange command, but accepted the box with ease. Ash tore open the coverings on the top and opened the box, revealing a cache of various devices, wires, and circuit boards. "I need your help setting this up. You guys are good with tech, right?"

Ash smirked at the simultaneous glares she received from the two aliens. "I'm not going to dignify that with a response," said Tali indignantly.

* * *

><p>"Two assault rifles, two shotguns, two side arms, two sub machine guns, and one sniper rifle," Alenko tallied as he read off of the data pad they had received with the shipment of weaponry.<p>

He, Shepard, and Liara sat in the car provided them by Citadel Rapid Transit, on their way back from the human embassy. A shipment of new prototype weaponry had been routed there from Arcturus, the lab techs asking if Shepard and his crew could be the first to test their effectiveness. Said prototype weapons now resided in the sky car's back storage area. Now they were on their way back to the _Normandy,_ where Shepard planned to unveil them to the rest of the ground team.

"Excuse me, commander." Sitting in the driver's seat (even though he wasn't actually driving, much to the gratitude of Alenko and T'Soni), Shepard craned his head back to see Liara in the back seat, who was looking at him with a timid expression. "I do not mean to sound ungrateful, but what makes these weapons so important we had to pick them up specifically from the human embassy?"

"We'll get to that eventually," Shepard replied with his typical 'commander grin.' "I want to wait until we have the entire ground team present. That way I don't have to repeat myself."

"Yes, I can see how that would be beneficial," Liara said quickly. She looked out the window at the view they were passing over, a faint blush crossing her cheeks. Liara had made a habit of coming around and talking with the crew more often, but obviously the Asari still had a long way to go toward being fully confident in herself.

"I don't think I like this, commander," Alenko said from beside him. "I'm all for improving our odds against the enemy, but is it really necessary to test out a brand new prototype on a live battlefield?"

Shepard sighed as he turned to face forward again. "I know it may not be ideal, but we work with what we have. I'll have Ash make sure anyone who goes out with a prototype also has a more reliable weapon to fall back on."

"Miss Williams has done an exceptional job since becoming the arms master," Liara commented in a voice laced with praise and something else Shepard couldn't quite catch. "You have an amazing ability to know where crew members are most needed, Shepard."

He glanced up in the rear view, seeing a nervous smile splayed out on the Asari's face as she watched the Citadel fly by. "Thank you, Liara," he said diplomatically, not sure what to make of this new, stranger side to Liara.

The rest of the ride passed by in companionable silence, until their sky car parked on the docking bay where the _Normandy_ resided. As they got out, Shepard relieved Liara to go ahead and board the ship while he and Kaidan unloaded the collapsible hover trolley. As Liara passed through the air lock, Shepard and Kaidan moved to the trunk to pull out the weapons cases and load them onto the trolley.

"Liara seems to be taking a fancy to you," Kaidan said seriously at one point.

Shepard looked to the lieutenant, but Alenko gave him a mysterious glance. "Liara's dealing with a lot of stuff being thrown at her," Shepard tried. "I'm one of the only friends she has right now, so it's natural for her to look to me for guidance."

"And I'm certain you firmly believe that." They loaded up the last of the cases and closed the trunk. With that, the sky car lifted into the air and rocketed off to help some other tourist in need of transportation. Kaidan turned to Shepard with a loaded look. "I'm not so sure Liara would look at it the same way."

"Are you implying something, Alenko?"

Kaidan scratched his cheek thoughtfully. "Don't take this the wrong way, sir, but I think you're missing the writing on the wall. Liara's been nothing but agreeable with you all day, she tries moving closer to you whenever it won't be awkward, even the compliment in the car just now. I get the feeling Liara would like to be more than just 'friends.'"

Shepard looked at him dubiously, but Kaidan only shrugged his shoulders and began pushing the hover trolley toward the airlock. As they waited for the decontamination cycle to complete its procedure, Shepard thought back to his interactions with Liara T'Soni. True, she was always quick to respond whenever he entered her alcove behind the medical wing. Before she started coming out more often, Shepard was the only one to have actual full length conversations with Liara. The Asari even seemed to draw more confidence whenever she spotted Shepard nearby.

Until now he had assumed Liara was drawn in by his new found connection with the Protheans. Clutching at a familiar buoy during a period of her life where everything around her wasn't so easily recognizable. The idea that Liara may be seeking a more emotional attachment to Shepard was…

Preposterous, he decided. Liara was indeed a beautiful woman, and maybe in another life there might have been something there. But here and now, Shepard only saw Liara as a platonic friend. Besides, the most perfect woman in the galaxy had already secured Shepard's heart. And he wouldn't let anything change that.

"And I think you're grasping at straws, Alenko," Shepard finally said. "Yes, I'll admit Liara does seem a bit more attached to me than as friends go. But as I said, the entire life she's known for over a hundred years is being shaken to the point of breaking. Liara needs someone to anchor her right now. Even if it might be infatuation now, I'm sure she'll grow out of it."

Kaidan gave him a sidelong glance. "For yours, Liara's, and Ashley's sakes, I sure hope so."

Shepard resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I appreciate the concern, Kaidan, but you don't have to worry about anything. Ash and I know what we have is unorthodox, but one Asari with a crush won't do anything to come between us. I'll do everything in my power to make sure I don't do anything that will hurt Ash."

"I know you will," Kaidan said earnestly. He gave Shepard a serious look. "I'm only telling you what I already told Ash: be careful. I do honestly think you two make each other happy. You just need to be prepared for when the unexpected happens, alright?"

"I can do that," Shepard responded with a nod. Kaidan offered a small smile in return. It was then the airlock let out a ding, alerting the men the decontamination cycle had ended.

They walked onto the main bridge to find Joker and Liara in deep discussion. "So what they do is take either the jelly or the custard and inject it into the middle of the donut," Joker explained.

"You take sugary pastries and fill them with more sweets?" Liara asked with a queasy expression. "I do not think that sounds very healthy."

Joker threw his hands up in exasperation and turned to Shepard and Alenko. "T'Soni says the Asari don't have donuts. Can you believe that? It's like they don't even know what true happiness is."

"In the grand scheme of things a lack of fatty pastry treats hardly seems like something to get worked up about, Joker," Shepard said.

Joker scoffed. "Well someone has to keep the important priorities in check on this ship. Whatever, it's no big deal." He eyed the weapon cases Alenko was pushing along. "So! What goodies has Santa Clause brought us in his toy bag today boys and girls?"

Behind the pilot Shepard watched as Liara's eyes shot wide and a horrified expression crossed her face, her jaw falling open in shock. Filing that particular reaction away for later, Shepard said to Joker, "New prototype weapons, direct from the lab boys on Arcturus."

"Well that's convenient."

"How so?" Alenko asked.

"Williams just got a simulated training environment in the mail today. Her, Vakarian, Zorah and Wrex have been down in the cargo bay all morning shooting holographic targets."

"They're discharging their weapons inside the ship?" Shepard inquired, surprised.

"Naw. They're hooking up special devices to their guns, and all the rounds they fire are virtual too. Wrex tested it out by shooting a volley at Vakarian when he had his back turned."

Joker clapped his knee lightly as he let out a laugh. "You should have seen it, commander. Vakarian let out this high pitched squeal like a chicken being strangled and everyone started laughing their asses off. Vakarian's a little grumpy, but they're getting along alright now."

Shepard sighed in relief. "Well that's good to hear." He turned to Kaidan and Liara. "You two mind staying in your hard suits for a while longer? This sounds like some action we have to get in on."

"Sounds perfect, actually," said Kaidan. This was likely the best solution to his troubles in taking prototype weapons into a battlefield. Liara, who was looking at something on her Omni Tool, only nodded her head in affirmation. Joker waved goodbye as he turned back to his station, and the three of them walked down the length of the ship to the elevator.

As the elevator door began to close, Shepard heard Liara let out a quiet, "oh." He looked back to see her still looking at something on her tool, only now her shoulders slumped in realization and a faint blush graced her cheeks.

"So you mind explaining why you looked so shell shocked back there?" Shepard asked her.

"Um." Liara cast a quick, nervous glance his way before locking her eyes on the ground before her. "My translator thought Joker said _Sanaya Clusee._ She is one of the lower deities in the religion of Athame."

"You should probably look into updating your translator," said Kaidan. "Humans have lots of different languages, and the differences between them can become rather muddled from time to time."

"That might be best. I did look up who exactly Santa Clause is. He and _Sanaya_ are actually not very different. The goddess also travels the world by night with a bag of toys."

"That still doesn't explain why it looked like you saw a ghost when Joker mentioned the name," Shepard said.

Liara proceeded to fidget more. "Well, _Sanaya Clusee_ is the goddess of sensuality and bondage. She has a bag of toys, but… they are not intended for children."

The elevator lapsed into awkward silence as the Asari's words sunk in.

Liara's face had now turned to a deeper shade of blue. "I would very much like not to talk about this anymore."

"Seconded," Kaidan said quickly, his own face gaining some color.

"Motion carried," Shepard agreed, doing his best not to break out laughing.

The three of them preferred to spend the rest of the elevator ride in silence. Once it stopped and the door began to slide down, Shepard could hear the pops and booms he associated with weapons fire. They stepped out to find Tali and Wrex only standing a few feet away from the elevator at an elongated bench that hadn't been there before. Both of them had their shotguns out, and looking past them Shepard could see they were firing upon advancing 'enemies.'

The cargo bay had been turned into a battlefield. But instead of scorch marks and the acrid smell of fire mixed with death, Shepard found a series of cameras hooked up to the ceiling, each of them helping to create the field before them. Now where there had been empty space, there were bright orange-red blocks and columns Shepard assumed to be cover of varying sorts. In addition, there was a small group of humanoid holograms of the same color, varying in their size and species, trying to move forward.

Shepard noted Tali and Wrex were deliberately allowing the holograms to get close in order to take them out with their shotguns, foregoing the use of their other weapons or biotic/tech powers. Above them Shepard spied a score board of sorts. It recorded the number of points either of them got when they landed a kill. More surprisingly it also listed a series of stats, like accuracy, how much force bullets impacted with, and which parts of the body were being hit.

A voice he was intimately familiar with called out, "Shepard!" He looked to the left to see Ashley and Garrus standing off to the side, fully geared up themselves, watching the simulation play out casually. Nodding his head at Kaidan and Liara for them to follow, they made their way over with the trolley full of weapons.

"So what do you think?" Ashley asked once they were close enough, gesturing with a hand to the cargo bay now filled with orange faceless bad guys.

"I can't say I'm too keen on having people firing their guns inside my ship," Shepard said playfully. Ash rolled her eyes but grinned nonetheless. "So what exactly did you do?"

"I ordered the Live Firefight Training Simulator 3000 online. You can set up the cameras in any one room, the computer will analyze the environment, and it can simulate any number of randomized scenarios, complete with fully customizable cover layouts and a varying number of different enemies to shoot at." She nudged Vakarian with her elbow. "Garrus and Tali helped out with the tech stuff."

"By 'help,' she actually means 'did all the work while I stood there and gawked at all the pretty colors I could use,'" Garrus said wryly.

"Semantics," Ash admonished.

Shepard made an appreciative sound in the back of throat as he turned to watch Tali and Wrex mow down the advancing hoard of uncoordinated glowing men. "I've gotta hand it to you, Ash, this was a good idea." Wrex bellowed in joy as he took off the head of an advancing Salarian with a shotgun blast. Shepard noted how the stray pellets that didn't hit his target impacted on some cover and the floor. Each bullet created a tiny orange spark where they landed, but Shepard couldn't see any scorch marks or other evidence of arms fire.

"How do you get the guns to fire without actually discharging any rounds?" Kaidan asked, ever the tech fanatic himself.

"With these," Garrus answered as he withdrew his sidearm. He extended the weapon to its firing state and pointed to a small device he had attached to the side. "You connect these little modules to the weapon's firing system, and it nullifies almost all of the fired bullet's lethality. That way the gun handles exactly how it would under normal circumstances, but without the possibility of inadvertently blowing your buddy's hand off."

"Wait, you said the devices only neutralize _most_ of the weapon's lethality?" Liara asked. "How much damage can they cause?"

Ash canted her head from side to side as she mulled over the question. "At this point the bullets have about as much force as what a paintball gun could produce. It'll hurt, probably leave a good welt, but it shouldn't break the skin." She smirked in Garrus's direction. "Or so Vakarian says."

They heard Wrex laugh in his deep voice, and turned to see him and Tali coming toward them. "You should have been there when I lit Vakarian's ass up, Shepard. I swear he jumped twelve feet into the air! Ha!" Both Ash and Tali started giggling at the mere mention of it, and the three crew members who hadn't been present found themselves laughing as well.

Garrus, for his part, subconsciously rubbed his backside but responded with a friendly chuckle. "Yes, yes, laugh at the brave Turian who put his life on the wire for science and safety."

"Aww, don't fret them, Garrus," said Tali. She walked up to him and wrapped one of her arms around his in a half hug. "I for one thought the noise you squealed when Wrex shot you was cute. You know, in a startled pet animal sort of way."

"I hate you all," Garrus muttered.

"Oh buck up, bird breath," Ashley chided. "Looks like the Skipper brought us some new toys to cheer you up."

Shepard playfully glared at her, which Ashley pretended to ignore. She had come up the cutesy pet name during their first onboard date the other day.

_By the time they finished their meals, a good portion of the whiskey was gone. John and Ashley laid back in his bed, entwined in each other's arms, enjoying the company before they had to go back on duty. They were riding out the pleasant buzz associated with the state of treading the line between sobriety and drunkenness._

_He wasn't sure how the title had even come up. They'd been talking about Hemmingway, eventually coming to the topic of The Old Man and the Sea. John thinks he made some remark about wanting to be a ship captain in the days before even electricity had made its mark._

"_Yeah," Ash said dreamily, "I bet you would have made a great skipper." It was roughly at this point Ashley gasped loudly. She swiveled her head to look at John with wide eyes, and he could see the gears turning in her pretty noggin._

"_Ash," he warned._

_In response her eyes began sparkling with delight, and her mouth turned upward into a large mocking grin._

"_Don't!" he tried._

"_You are so totally the Skipper!" she announced while throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into a crushing hug, laughing throughout._

_John had meant to argue, to explain he wasn't a fan of nicknames, but the words died on his lips when Ashley encased his with her own. _

_He reflected later that Ash was awfully good at diffusing their arguments._

"Indeed we did." Shepard made a 'come hither' motion for them all and dragged the trolley over to the bench they had set up.

As he explained, Shepard relieved the weapons cases from the trolley and set them on the table. "These are the latest prototype weapons to come in from Alliance Research and Developement. They discovered the Geth use a specialized thermal clip ejection system. Now instead of waiting for a gun to cool down, we can pop the heat sink and load in the new one, allowing us to fire again in a quarter of the time it would take for the old guns if they overheated. Heat sinks also have the added bonus of adding more force to the rounds fired, allowing us to do more damage."

"This tech came from the Geth?" Garrus asked skeptically as he inspected one of the new, bulky pistols. Tali and Wrex had instantly taken to the shotguns, Liara was looking over one of the new SMG's, and Ashley and Kaidan had opted to check out the new assault rifles. True to her nature, Ash was already breaking down the rifle to inspect its inner workings and understand how it functioned. Garrus went on saying, "The Alliance is awfully quick to reverse engineer some brand new guns."

"I'd guess somebody gave them a good shakedown and told them to get their asses moving." Shepard sent a subtle wink in Ashley's direction, who smirked at the memory of an Alliance rep on the brink of peeing his pants.

Ash huffed as she put her rifle back together. "I appreciate the effort, but don't you think they could have integrated a new weapon system into something that wasn't so ancient?"

In the report Shepard had received along with the notification to pick up the guns, the techs had explained the Mattocks were the only line of assault rifle capable of withstanding the new firing system. The Mattocks had been among the first line of weapons designed by humans to use mass effect technology. The rifle had since been discontinued due to its unwieldy properties and inability to fire beyond semi-automatic.

"I used a Mattock for a while," Wrex commented idly while inspecting his new shotgun. Shepard had noticed Wrex starting to be more careful when handling his gun care. Due to Ashley's influence, no doubt. "I don't know why you humans stopped using it. That gun packed a hell of a lot more punch than a lot of the other guns I've used over the years."

"I won't deny the Mattock can drop its targets," Ash retorted, "pretty damn accurate for an assault rifle too. But these things are clunky, heavy, and having to pull the trigger for each and every shot puts you at a disadvantage against enemies with fully automatic weapons."

"Ash has a point," Shepard interjected. "These are still prototypes. I recommend anyone who wants to bring of these into the field should also make sure they bring another weapon that's already proven to be reliable." He looked around the eclectic group of soldiers, and each of them nodded their heads in turn. Shepard moved to unpack the final weapon as he said, "Good. Now there is one more gun to show off, which the lab boys have already dubbed the Viper snipe-"

"Dibs!" Ashley and Garrus called out simultaneously, like children at a toy store. They quickly glanced at each other with narrowed eyes before fixing Shepard with determined gazes, each silently beseeching him to swing in their favor.

Shepard visibly gulped, held his hands up in passiveness and backed away. He was content to let them decide amongst themselves. That, and he wasn't keen of the wrath he would incur by picking sides.

Ashley placed her hand on the collapsed rifle and pulled it several inches toward her. "You'd do well to remember, Vakarian, that Shepard made me the Arms Master. That means I get final say in who gets which guns."

"Oh I never intended say otherwise on that topic, Williams," Garrus responded in his cocksure tone. He too placed a hand on the rifle and pulled it back toward him. "And as I understand it, your job is to make sure weapons go to the people most qualified to use them. And of course we all know who the true sniper rifle master is here."

"I'm well aware of who that is," Ash retorted with a grin. Again, the rifle was pulled in her direction. "And I've seen the way you shoot, Vakarian. Lots of flare and boasting about your kills. You should leave the sniping to good old military discipline and clear headedness."

The rifle was dragged back toward Garrus. "What's the point in being the best if you can't have a little fun at the top? And I do hope you're not insinuating _you're_ the best sniper we have, Williams. Because let's face it, that's just a competition you can't win."

"Oh ho ho!" They all turned to Wrex, who was now sporting a large maniacal grin. "Sounds like we've got a fight on our hands. And I know just how to settle it." At that Wrex began patting the main computer for Ashley's new training system affectionately.

Ashley and Garrus looked at each other, a gleam in their eyes as wide grins spread over their faces.

"What do you say, Garrus?" Ashley asked. "Sure you can keep up with me?"

"The only thing I'm gonna feel bad about is when I mop up the floor with you in front of the commander," he responded.

As Wrex cheered, Kaidan turned to Shepard with wide eyes, seemingly asking, _Is this seriously happening?_

Shepard only smiled bashfully and shrugged. Sure, this might be unorthodox, and he couldn't imagine any other ship captain letting their crew do this. But nothing about this mission had been ordinary thus far. Besides, Shepard was far too interested in seeing how this would play out to curtail it now.

Taking the Viper sniper rifle with him, Shepad, Kaidan, Liara, and Wrex moved off to the side while Tali inputted a new scenario into the system, while Garrus and Ashley unhooked and prepped their sniper rifles. Garrus planned on using his Equalizer V, a sniper rifle that personified the ideal of 'one shot, one kill.' Ashley opted to use her Striker sniper rifle. While she wouldn't have as much stopping power as Garrus, Ash had specially modified her rifle to boost it's already above average shot capacity. It was setting up to be a match of power versus speed.

With all the variables punched in and the two contenders prepared to start, Tali scampered away to give them room as they worked their magic. Garrus and Ashley clicked their weapons' safeties off, making sure the mass effect neutralizing modules were properly affixed. Shepard watched in fascination as the small legion of cameras created a series of cover emplacements varying in size and shape all along the empty space of the cargo bay. He also noted a two-dimensional line separated the firing range into two halves, so Garrus and Ashley had equal field to play with.

Over the system's speakers, a saccharine female voice announced, "Head to Head Sniper Shootout is about to begin. All bystanders must leave the hostile area now." The voice paused a moment, presumably checking for people not heading the order, before continuing. "Scenario: King of the Hill. Time Limit: Ten Minutes. Winner shall be the particpant with the most points when the time limit has run out. Simulation will begin in three, two, one…"

A siren blared, alerting them the game had begun. At once two holographic humanoid figures emerged at the other side of the cargo bay and took up cover positions like actual people would, laying down covering fire with their 'weapons'. Shepard noted they were two different colors, deducing the blues were Garrus's targets and the reds were Ashley's targets.

Garrus kicked off the competition by being the one to fire first; landing a headshot on the blue target that went straight through its shields and impacted its theoretical brain. An instant kill, which the score board rewarded graciously for.

Ashley followed up with a headshot of her own, also killing the red man in one hit. Even though the score board identified Ashley's rifle hit with less force, the fact it only took her one shot still earned her the same amount of points as Garrus.

Four figures came out next, two red and two blue. From there the competition truly kicked off. The waves of enemies steadily increased over time, and gradually sent out stronger units that were harder to take down but yielded more points if bested. Krogan in particular were seen more as cash cows than as threats.

The differences between Garrus and Ashley as Snipers were striking. True to his nature, Garrus excelled at exploiting the weak points of the enemies. Most of his take downs were one shot kills, packing his total tally with bonus points. Ashley wasn't as precise, preferring body shots guaranteed to hit rather than gamble with head shots, which the scoring system didn't look as favorably upon. However, Ashley's Striker was capable of firing more shots at a faster pace than Garrus's Equalizer. As such, Ashley mowed down targets more quickly than him, gaining points by sheer number of kills rather than in style.

Shepard and the rest of the crew watched in rapt attention as they went neck and neck. Whoever led in points would constantly juggle between the pair, and one never outscored the other by more than a dozen points. The scoring system awarded points according to accuracy, how far away the target was, and how many shots were required to take a target down.

Ashley and Garrus were both skilled in their craft, but even they could not completely stem the tide of enemies. Adversely, they would also lose points if their enemies gained too much ground at one time, or if they actually landed a few shots on the snipers' positions. At roughly one minute left to go, Shepard took note of one special occurrence he wasn't sure anyone else had noticed. He made sure to bring it up later.

"Thirty seconds left," the female voice of the system announced. In response, Ashley waited for her rifle to cool down completely, whilst Garrus began prioritizing more valuable targets further away. At the fifteen second mark, Ashley let loose a rapid succession of four shots upon weaker targets she had allowed to get closer. Each headshot resulted in a kill, and the rapidity of each earned her even more bonus points. However, the weapon's overheat warning began to chime, and she would be out for the last few seconds.

Not to be outdone and with only five seconds remaining, Garrus took special care to line up one last shot. Just before the last second began ticking down, he let loose a round that went through not one, but two heads, killing two targets. The scoring system awarded him a large bonus for getting a double kill with only one bullet.

"Time! The simulation has ended," the voice announced. As the holographic field and enemies began to dissipate, Ashley and Garrus disengaged their rifles and stepped back to allow themselves a breather.

"You think the real life mercs would be stupid enough to let me try that?" Garrus joked as he dabbed a cloth at the sweat on his neck. Ashley brought the back of hand up to wipe away the perspiration on her brow. She and Garrus smiled at each other as they shook hands. Shepard knew both of them enjoyed that, no matter who would win.

"Final scores tallied," the voice said, and they all looked up to the board to see the final result. "Williams, A. Score: 1118."

Ash let a huff of breath, proud. Alenko lightly clapped her on the shoulder in commemoration, and Liara gave her an enthusiastic nod.

They silenced as the machine continued. "Vakarian, G. Score: 1124."

Both of the participants' shoulders slumped, Garrus in relief and Ashley in disbelief. Ash hung her head and nodded, accepting the loss with pride. Garrus raised his hands to others, going, "Please, please, no autographs."

Ash actually laughed herself at that. She picked her head up, and Shepard couldn't see any traces of actual regret in her face.

Shepard couldn't help smiling himself. "Alright you two, come here." Garrus and Ashley stepped forward, the former holding himself with smug pride and the latter still glowing from the excitement of it all, even if she had lost. Shepard held up the sniper rifle like it was a trophy, and in a theatrical voice, said, "You both put forth a valiant effort. But, there can only be one winner. And so, as the commanding officer of the _Normandy,_ I hereby declare the winner!"

Beaming, Garrus held his hand forward to accept his prize. And Shepard began to hand it off to him. But at the last second, changed gears and thrust the sniper rifle toward Ashley.

Now the mouths of both participants hung open, but both were out of shock, and Ash gingerly took the proffered reward from Shepard's grasp, looking even more confused than Garrus.

"Well," Garrus stated indignantly, "if I'd known the commander would pick the prettiest sniper I'd have put on more face paint today."

Shepard smirked at his friend's ire. "Oh believe me, Garrus, I still think Ash won under her own merits. Here, allow me to show you."

Shepard stepped past the Turian toward the computer controlling the training simulator, and the rest of the crew gathered around to see what he was driving at. Shepard pulled up a video feed and played through some of the recording of the firefight. He focused on one minute ten second prior to completion, and zoomed in on Garrus's field.

At that point Garrus had been dealing with a particularly difficult Krogan, who would not go down with one shot. Garrus took him down in the end, but then Shepard paused the video, scrolling over to focus on another blue target that had progressed quite far along Garrus's field.

"Uh oh," he heard Garrus mutter behind him.

"You know, Garrus, it looks like that tango has its rifle trained on you," Shepard teased. "But it also looks like a guardian was watching out for you." He zoomed in on the figure's head, which was snapped back from the sniper rifle round piercing its head. A quick trajectory calculation revealed the bullet had come from Ashley's side of the field.

They all turned to her and Ash only responded with a lame shrug as she shuffled from foot to foot. "I saw the guy come up out of the corner of my eye and aim at Garrus. I don't know what made me take the shot. I just… reacted, I guess."

"Indeed," Shepard intoned as he faced his squad again. To Garrus he said, "Now correct me if I'm wrong, Vakarian, but I'm guessing if Ash hadn't taken that one out, that unit would have landed a few good shots on you."

Garrus looked away, his mandibles tight to his face in consternation. "Maybe."

"And if it had in fact played out like that, you would have had some of your points deducted. I reckon enough that Ash would have won anyway."

"Alright Shepard," Garrus sighed out. "You've made you point. I concede defeat."

"We're all a team here, Garrus," Shepard said more seriously. "If it were one on one, I do believe you could be a better sniper than Ash."

The mild jibe made Ash snort in derision, which got a few chuckles out of the small group. Shepard went on saying, "But I don't need a sniper that can only fend for himself. I need a sniper that can watch the backs of his team mates and keep them out of trouble."

Garrus nodded, accepting the knowledge of his commander. "While that may not be as entertaining , I can see where you're coming from, Shepard. And you can count on me, no matter what."

Shepard grinned broadly. "I know I can."

"Bah!" Wrex exclaimed, ruining the sanctity of the moment. "This supposed to be about shooting guns, not this sappy crap! Come on; let's get back to having fun!"

There were a chorus of agreements, and the small group spread out to accomplish their own tasks. Ashley grabbed Garrus by the arm and dragged him off the left side of the bench. Before they were out of ear shot, Shepard heard Ash say, "Come on, you can still help me pick this thing apart if you want."

Tali went to work setting up a new simulation designed to test Liara's and Wrex's biotics, and Shepard joined Kaidan on the right side of the bench to help him inspect the new SMG's.

"So what did you think of the show, lieutenant?"

Kaidan responded with a haughty chuckle. "Can't say I've ever seen crew members work out an argument like _that_ before. But it was fun watching Garrus and Ash duke it out. You run a good ship, Shepard."

"I try. So, what do you make of the new armaments?" Shepard picked up one of the new SMG's, though truth be told it looked more like a beefed up heavy pistol. 'Shuriken' was the name he read on the side.

Kaidan inspected the other one with a critical eye. "It can put out a lot of shots at a fast pace, but it looks like it suffers in the accuracy department. But these should be saved for close quarters and backed up with another more accurate weapon."

He brought it up and aimed down the sights, a wondrous quality to his voice as he spoke. "I still can't believe the Geth actually invented a gun that can cool down its mass effect generator _and_ manually reload a fresh set of rounds. Hell of a thing."

"Oh, right, about that," Shepard started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "In order to make room for the clip ejector and synchronization mods, the in-gun cooling tech had to be sacrificed. Now the guns have a set number of shots per clip and can't regenerate ammo."

Silence descended upon the cargo bay so quickly and completely it was like someone had flipped a switch. Idle chatter, the clinking of tools and weapon parts, all of it abruptly stopped. Even the dull hum of the ship seemed to become even more muted at the sound of Shepard's words.

He looked up to find all of his squad mates staring at him, varying levels of disbelief displayed in their gazes. Even the normally unreadable Tali stood stock still, staring wide eyed at him. "What?" she asked dubiously, like she hadn't even understood what the commander said.

"The prototypes don't have cooling tech," he repeated with ever decreasing confidence.

"But…" Wrex looked like a forlorn child who'd been told his favorite show had been cancelled. "Guns have literally been that way for _thousands_ of years. Do they honestly expect everyone to go back to limited ammunition?"

"Well come on, Wrex, now they pack more punch! That should make up for it, right?" Shepard was quickly losing confidence in his own words.

Liara put her gear down and, in her very demure like way, clasped her hands before her and walked up to the commander. "Shepard, on any other given day no one would respect your opinions more than me. But that is quite literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard in the last seventy years."

Behind the Asari, Ashley shoved her hard won sniper rifle into Garrus's hands. "You can keep it."

* * *

><p><em>Sometime later…<em>

Ashley stood off to the far end of the bench they had set up as their barrier for the shooting box, fiddling with various pieces and mods for one of the new shotguns. Thus far she had failed to find a way to properly integrate both cooling tech and thermal clips into the gun.

_First old as crap rifles, then Shepard says guns don't have unlimited ammo anymore? We might as well revert back to using smooth bore muskets at this rate!_

Right now only she, Tali, Liara and Shepard were left in the cargo bay. Kaidan and Garrus had retired to get out of their gear and take some time to relax. Wrex had finally exhausted himself and relented to heading up to mess to get something to eat. Tali was working beside Ash, experimenting with the other prototype shotgun (_What kind of Bosh'tet goes, "Yeah, we should totally get rid of a firing system that's worked for thousands of years and replace with something completely inferior," and not get fired?_). Liara was only one left at the firing range, having Shepard help her to learn how to effectively use one of the new SMG's.

"So are you okay with this?" Tali asked out of the blue.

Ash looked up from her work. "Okay with what?" Tali jerked her head to side, indicating Liara and Shepard. "Should I not be okay with Liara learning how to use a new gun?"

"No you fool!" Tali whispered heatedly. Casting a glance over her shoulder to make sure Liara and Shepard weren't listening, she put her tools down and faced Ash fully. "I mean are you okay with how close Shepard and T'Soni are?"

"What?" she asked incredulously. "Liara and Shepard aren't trying to hook up."

"Do not take this the wrong way, Ashley, but you're not seeing the signs. We Quarians practically base our whole lives off of reading body language. I'm not so sure Shepard feels the same, but that Asari _definitely_ wants to get into that human's pants."

Ash rolled her eyes and leaned to the side to peer past Tali at the duo. Shepard was acting just how she was expecting him to. Calm, collected, patient, quick to give pointers. Not at all unlike a father teaching their child to shoot a gun.

But now that Ash was paying attention, the Asari was spinning a different story. Shooting a gun in a controlled environment shouldn't be enough to make her cheeks flush that much. Shepard never noticed because he was too enthralled in teaching, but Ash could see Liara quiver slightly whenever the commander took hold of a hand or an arm to help better her stance. Not to mention she would flash the commander the largest, most endearing smiles whenever she did something right.

"Okay, fine, it looks like T'Soni has a thing for Shepard," Ashley conceded to Tali. "But it obviously looks like he doesn't feel the same way. Liara isn't going to come between Shepard and I."

"You're not going to go up to Liara and tell her to stay away from your man?" Tali asked incredulously.

"No, Tali, I'd like to think I'm more mature than some preppy teenager in high school. Even if Liara does make a move, Shepard's smart enough not to let her get her hopes up."

Tali shook her head. "You humans become stranger every day. On the Flotilla if you found out another woman was making advances on your mate you are almost obligated to confront them about it and tell them to back off."

"We're all adults here Tali. I'm sure it won't come to that."

"Fine. You're so confident about it I'll let you deal with it." Tali crossed her arms as she narrowed her eyes at Ash. "Though you should probably know Shepard isn't the only one with a secret admirer."

Ashley rose her brow at the Quarian. "Are you saying someone's eyeing me up? Please tell me it's not Wrex. I don't have it in me to break those two hearts of his."

Tali let out an exasperated sound and jerked her head again. This time Ash followed the direction to Requisitions Officer Joans, who had his back turned to the cargo bay as he checked out his wares.

"Richard? Seriously? The guy's more like the little brother I never had."

"I assure you he doesn't see you as a big sister. You don't see the signs like I do, apparently."

Ash leaned her hip on the bench and rested her hand on it. "Do enlighten me."

Tali paused a moment before saying, "I noticed he was acting strange when he stepped out of the elevator with you earlier. Nothing extreme, just nervous, so I decided to keep him in a peripheral view throughout the day."

"Mildly creepy," Ash commented.

"Whatever," Tali dismissed with a wave of her hand. "Anyways, I noticed he was constantly sneaking glances at you while we worked on setting up the range, and he only ever picked his head whenever you were the one talking. And I'm fairly certain he did something unorthodox in the elevator before you stepped out."

Ash shifted her gaze away and chewed the inside of her mouth. "He might have refused to let me pay him for his part in ordering the training system."

Tali canted her head in the _Are you serious?_ way. "And that didn't raise any red flags?"

"Can't a guy be nice to a girl without an ulterior motive?" she retorted defensively. But now that Tali had brought it up, all of a sudden a dozen other minor things came to the forefront of her mind. How Joans would always gravitate to her table if they shared a lunch shift. How he almost instantly took her grandfather's side despite not knowing much about what happened on Shanxi. Or how Joans magically procured mods that were supposed to be hard to find for her.

Ash blew out a breath of air as her shoulders slumped. "Is it really that bad?"

"I daresay you're liable to break the guy's heart when you tell him you're not interested."

Despite the gravity of the situation, Ashley found herself smirking. "Well, good to know I can be desirable when I'm not even trying."

Tali rolled her eyes behind her mask. "You're incorrigible, Williams."

"I can't help it if people find Shepard and I so attractive," she stated innocently.

The Quarian only shook her head and took a step away. "I'm going to get something eat. Just think about what I've said, alright?"

Ash was silent for a moment as she considered the command. "I still think you're being paranoid. But yeah, I'll keep it in mind.

Pausing only a second, Tali gave her a swift nod and started off toward the elevator. As she walked away, Ashley cast a surreptitious glance over toward Joans. The man looked up and caught her eye at just the right time, instantly brightening while he gave her a small wave. For her part, Ash managed a convincing enough smile and sent a smaller wave back as she returned to her weapon.

Richard was a nice guy, she could attest to that. But he just wasn't her type. There was nothing distracting her from Shepard.

Ash glanced over as Liara let out an unceremoniously loud giggle at some stupid joke Shepard said.

The two of them were going to be fine.

Right?


	11. Chapter 11 - Night Shift

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Chapter 11 – Night Shift

* * *

><p><em>The smell of acrid death and fire saturated the air, making her choke on each breath. The sky above had taken on a sinister scarlet color, interspaced with broiling black clouds that arced great flashes of red lightening. All around her Ashley could see nothing but fires consuming all in their wake. From the trees to the grass to bodies, it showed no bias. <em>

_Ashley couldn't remember how she got here, nor did she know where she was in the first place. Ash knows she's been here before, the name of this place always on the peripheral of her mind but never within reach._

_Slowly she walked down the ravine, feeling the intense heat of the flames but never being marred by them. Ash sees she's wearing her Phoenix armor, but the suit is scuffed and burnt and dented. A particularly nasty looking impact site on her left thigh slowly but surely oozes bright red blood, but Ashley cannot actually register the pain that should be there._

_Ashley knows this place is important to her. That something of immense importance happened here. As she walks by she can see the twisted and deformed shapes of fallen soldiers. Ash is certain she knows who they are; their very names are on the tip of her tongue. But a great shroud veils her mind, preventing cognitive connection._

_Littered among them are dozens more people, but these are not fighters. These other people are families and friends; those who never wished to fight but paid the price anyway. She doesn't know why, but Ash is compelled to count them all, to commit their very beings to her memory. By the time she reaches the end she has counted a total of two hundred and ten bodies._

_Ash comes to a clearing, the surrounding soil upturned and heaped off to the sides. Great stone arches jut up from the ground. This place she immediately remembers. It is where the farmers of Eden Prime first discovered the Prothean Beacon, the relic which was the cause for this bloody massacre._

"_Eden Prime!" she realizes. This was where it all started. Where Ashley's life irrevocably changed and she lost almost everything she cared for. This is where she lost the 212._

_Standing in the center of the otherwise empty dig site is a solitary man, clad in military gear and his head hung so low Ashley cannot see his face. She approaches him cautiously; equal amounts of curiosity and dread coalescing like a leaden weight in her stomach. This man she remembers in an instant. Stocky, broad shoulders, graying hair. _

"_Brandson," she breathed, her voice the ghost of a whisper._

_At the sound of her voice Brandson began to pick his head up and look at her. But what Ash saw only increased the horror of the situation. The face was right, but the eyes were not Brandson's. Thomas had warm, friendly eyes. Instead where they should have been were two black, soulless pits. Brandson looked upon her with an emotionless gaze, malevolent to her presence._

"_You left us," he said without inflection. It was Brandson's voice, but it was wrong. It had a deep, menacing undertone that no human set of vocal chords should be able to produce._

_The air around Ash began to pick up, whipping about to and fro. The hissing of the wind and crackling of the fire morphed into the whisperings of the damned, repeating Brandson's words. "You left us, you left us, you left us…"_

"_You left us," Morley said again in his chilling monotone, this time beginning to take slow but determined steps toward her._

"_No!" Ashley gasped out; backing away for each step the Not-Morley took toward her. She raised her hand before her, as if to tell him to stop. "You were the one to tell me to go. You knew I'd be dead too if I stayed behind."_

_If the Not-Morley heard her, he made no indication of it. Instead he continued toward her in his slow but purposeful trot. Wracked with fear, Ash blindly feels for any of her weapons, but dread only sinks in more when she realizes she is unarmed. _

_Her left foot snags on something, and Ash is too overcome with fear to stop herself before her momentum causes her to fall on her back with a gasp of surprise. She tries to scramble back and keep the distance between her and the ghost from getting shorter, but her limbs refuse to move, for they too are being restrained._

_Absolute terror settles into her chest when she realizes she is not stuck in a thicket of brambles. The horrifying truth is she is being held down by hands that have sprung out of the ground. They grip her feet, her legs, her arms. Dog tags dangle from their wrists, and Ash can read them all. Morley, Sanders, Bhatia. All of her men. All those who died on Eden Prime, come back to pull the last 212 soldier down with them._

"_You failed us," said Brandson, closer now, and his voice louder than before. Immediately the whispering took on a new chorus, chanting, "You failed us, you failed us, you failed us…"_

_Ashley is overcome with frantic panting as she tries to free herself. "I'm sorry," she choked out. "I couldn't have known the Geth would attack. But I should have been smarter. I should have been better. Please, Thomas, I'm so sorry."_

_The gall of the whisperings increased in volume as Brandson stepped closer and finally stopped a foot away from where Ashley lay. He looked down upon her, the black pits of his eyes swirling with unbridled hatred and evil. The 212 did not want to forgive. They wanted revenge._

"_You killed us," he told her in a venomous growl. _

_And as the whispers began to take up the new chant, "You killed us, you killed us, you killed us…," Brandson's form began to change. His armor fell away and turned to dust as it collided with the ground. His skin peeled away, and his body shrunk in on itself. His flesh took on a deathly blue-grey pallor, and tubes and nodes pierced through his flesh to the surface. Brandson's hair fell away, and his head became no more than a skull with razor sharp teeth and black bottomless eyes. _

_His gloves fell away to reveal his hands had morphed into sinister knife like claws. The Husk-Morley let out an unearthly moan as it crouched down, brandishing its claws and teeth of death. _

_The last thing Ashley heard was her own shriek of terror as the Husk lunged for her throat. _

The first thing she felt was the window cover of her sleeper pod collide with her forehead.

"Mother fucker!" she exclaimed, gritting her teeth as she brought up her hands to apply pressure to the throbbing in her head. Her cold, balmy hands helped to alleviate the burning sensation on her skin where it met with the glass.

Ashley took long, deep breaths. Partly to try and block out the pain, and partly because it felt like she'd just ran five miles.

That was the first time she's relived her nightmare in quite a while. They were much more prevalent the days directly following Eden Prime. It wasn't always the same sequence of events as what she just saw, but the idea was the same. The doubt and misgivings still lingering in the back of her mind would come out and re-salt the still healing wound.

Ash heaved a great sigh. This was one of those things you weren't taught in basic. How to cope with losing all your friends then learning how to keep going afterward. Her father's passing years ago had schooled Ashley in dealing with loss, but this was still something else entirely. Shepard was likely right, she theorized. No matter how much time passed and no matter what strides Ash made on her way to recovery, she'd never truly forget what happened to the 212. And she would never fully dispel the self-blame in her heart.

When the lashing pain finally died down to a mild throb, Ash let her hands fall and blearily opened her eyes, gratified to know she wasn't seeing stars. She finally calmed down; her mind realizing it was not actually in peril and stopping the flow of adrenaline. She idly rubbed her left thigh, right over the scar she'd been given on Eden Prime. These were the only times she actually felt it now, a phantom pain caused by her night terrors.

Though she dreaded doing so, Ash turned to look at the chronometer built into the side of her sleeper pod.

_Shit. It's only 3 in the morning._ She could try going back to sleep, but it wouldn't be easy for her. Even if the nightmares didn't return that night, Ash's sleep would be fitful and restless, and she'd only wake up in the morning feeling worse for it. Staying up was out of the question though. Ash didn't need to wake up for three more hours. If she didn't at least try and get some sleep she'd only be dead tired throughout the entire day.

Besides, while the night crew for the _Normandy_ was smaller than the normal shift, Ash couldn't risk being seen after hours by late night crewmen. If someone saw Ash staying up late and how it might be affecting her duties, then they'd be compelled to report her strange behavior to the commanding officer. Ashley couldn't let Shepard know she was still struggling to overcome what had happened to her on Eden Prime. She wanted John to see her as strong, to know that she didn't need to be coddled.

Ash internally debated with herself. On the one hand she could try going back to sleep and wake up irritable in the morning. On the other, she could stay up and do some late night work, but risk being too fatigued the next day and possibly being seen as weak by Shepard.

Having deliberated, she finally decided on a compromise. Ash thumbed the release button in the pod and its covering detached with a soft hiss as it moved upwards. Ash hesitantly stepped out and stretched, popping her joints and bones back into place. Sleeper pods may be the better alternative to actual bunk beds on a ship, but it was still pretty cramped inside those things.

Ashley forewent fully dressing herself, opting to walk around on bare feet wearing her cargo pants and black tank top. She only wanted to brew a cup a tea then try to get back to sleep, so it wasn't like she'd be leaving the floor she was currently on. Ash plodded along down the hallway toward the kitchen area, passing those other crew members currently sleeping blissfully in their own pods. Ashley made a note to tease Engineer Montreal about the small stuffed Varran doll she insisted she didn't sleep with.

Rubbing the sleep from eyes, Ash walked over the small kitchen portion of the mess hall. She made to grab the water boiler by the side to fill it up, but quickly withdrew her hand with a silent curse. The pitcher was still hot, like someone had just used it. Ash was curious as to who else might be making tea or coffee at this time of night, but she shrugged it off, too tired to care. She turned to the cupboards to look for the lemon chai tea she had picked up on the Citadel…

…and found the box sitting right there on the counter, already opened. That was stranger still. The only other person who liked the lemon chai tea Ash picked out was Shepard, and he should be asleep right-

A sudden cacophony of snoring was her final clue, making Ash jump in surprise. She spun around and found someone sitting at the closest mess hall table with his back turned to her. He was slouched over the table, his head hanging in his hands. The steady rise and fall of his shoulders coupled with the sound of light breathing confirmed he must have fallen asleep at the table.

Cautiously, making sure to avoid causing unnecessary noise, Ashley approached the sleeping man from the side. She saw it was none other than Shepard, fast asleep. A mug of what Ash deduced to be the lemon chai sat in front of him, the liquid now tepid. She could see rapid movement behind his eyelids, just like the time he been unconscious after the Beacon had knocked him out. Every so often his hands would twitch, the muscles contracting like they were in pain.

This was worrisome. Of all people the commander needed sleep the most. If he was up this late into the night shift then something was wrong. And seeing as how Ashley wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon, see figured she could at least try to understand what was happening with him.

Carefully, Ash placed a hand on John's shoulder and gave him a light shove, speaking softly. "John?"

His reaction was immediate. His eyes shot wide, and Ash could see the agitated quality they took on whenever they were in combat. His training kicked in, and John grabbed Ashley's wrist in a vice grip and twisted it away. He shot up from his chair, knocking it back, already adopting a defensive pose like he was being attacked.

"John!" Ashley pleaded quietly, wincing from the pressure on her arm. "John, it's just me! It's Ashley!"

He looked at her then, blinking several times, and Ash could see the clarity beginning to return to his eyes. "Ash?"

John glanced from side, assessing the situation. Realization dawned on his face as John came back to himself, discovering he was not actually in danger. He finally looked back at Ashley, noticing her anxious expression and his hand on her wrist.

"Ashley!" John looked panicked, immediately letting go of her arm. "Oh god, I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"No," she lied, grimacing. Ashley gripped the still smarting wrist tenderly, rubbing it to try and abate the uncomfortable feeling.

John saw through her lie with a hardened gaze. "Yes I did. Here, let me see it." He stepped forward, into Ashley's personal space, and held out his hand. Reluctantly, Ash held her hand out for him to inspect. This time, John's grasp was gentle, caring, as he took it. He made sure not to apply any more pressure than he needed to whilst looking over her hand.

For her part, Ash stood still during the inspection, but couldn't deny how uncomfortable she felt. First finding John asleep, then being borderline attacked by him, and now he treated her like a glass object ready to shatter. These mood swings weren't normal for Shepard. Something strange was going on.

Exasperated, Ash finally said, "John, you don't have to do this. It's fine, really."

"It's not fine," he replied sternly without looking at her. John's voice was heavy with emotion. "This is going to bruise if you don't put something on it. Come on, I've got a spare supply of Medi Gel in my cabin."

John let go of her hand and beckoned for her to follow. Although still wary, Ashley followed him, choosing to ignore the cup of tea on the table for now. They entered into his cabin, and John immediately strode into his small work space and began rummaging through one of the lower cabinets.

"You can sit up there," he informed her, pointing to a spot on his desk. Ashley hopped onto the small table, and Shepard stepped up to her with a package of Medi Gel. She held her hand out once more, and John again used the utmost care when he held it. His fingers spread the gel carefully over the reddened part of her wrist, only applying just enough pressure to knead the gel in.

They were quiet for a few minutes as John worked. He looked tense, and he made a point of avoiding any kind of eye contact. Ash could feel the aching in her wrist start to numb away as the Medi Gel worked its magic. She knew something was wrong, but she didn't know how to approach the situation. John had his unreadable Mask up, the one he reserved for hostage negotiations or dealing with politicians. It was obvious he was trying not to let her in.

She watched him glance quickly at a desk side clock. "So do you mind telling me what you're doing up at 3:10 in the morning?" he asked, not unkindly, but without his usual warmth.

"I imagine it's the same reason why you're still up," she intoned.

The corner of his left eye twitched almost unnoticeably, and John paused in his work for the briefest half second. John finished rubbing the gel into her wrist and wiped off his hands with a small rag. "Your hand might still be sore tomorrow, but that should keep the swelling down and prevent the bruising from showing," he told her. John put the Medi Gel away and walked past her, further into his room.

Without turning back to face her he said, "You should try going back to sleep now. I'll see you tomorrow, Ashley." The tone was dismissive, laced with some underlying regret.

Ash stood up from the desk, but made no move to follow his request. Instead she stood behind him, arms crossed, shooting a stern look at his back. "No."

She saw his fists clench at his sides. "Please don't make me turn that request into an order," he quietly asked.

"I'm allowed to disobey orders if I can prove my commanding office isn't mentally sound when he gives them," she returned in mock deference.

"Will you stop making this harder than it has to be?" he asked heatedly, rounding on her. "Just go back to bed, Ash, and leave me be. This isn't your problem to deal with."

"The hell it isn't." Ashley stepped closer to John, challenging him. "You know, you're the one who kept pushing for this relationship to happen. You're the one who insisted on helping me with Nirali's husband even though you knew it wasn't your problem to handle. And now you're the one trying to keep me out. So what is it, John? Do you want me to act like your girlfriend or just another soldier?"

"That's not- You know I don't mean…" he stammered. John dragged his hands over his face. "Fuck, Ashley."

John collapsed back onto his bed, sitting on the edge. All at once the tension left his body as his shoulders sagged and his arms hung off his knees. John looked forlornly at the ground, avoiding Ashley's gaze.

He spoke very quietly, and Ash had to strain to hear him. "I just don't want to hurt you."

Ashley's brow furrowed with confusion. She moved to stand next to him, unhooking her arms and speaking with a softer tone. "It hurts when you don't let me in. When you insist on acting like you can handle yourself when you know I can help." She brought up her hand to rest it against his cheek, and John let out a muted sigh as he leaned into her touch. Ash gently but purposefully tilted his face upwards, so she could fully look at him.

John sports a lost expression, and his deep blue eyes quake with restrained emotion. Ashley remembers where she has seen this look before. Almost two years ago on Arcturus Station, where John poured his heart out for her on the catwalk overlooking the stars. John looks the same now as he did then, his eyes betraying just how scared he felt trying to push himself out of his comfort zones. How self-conscious he felt to let Ashley see a part of him he kept hidden away from all others.

Her heart broke for him. The expectations were always so high for Commander Shepard, and despite himself John wouldn't stop from trying to live up to them. He strived so hard to be this lofty ideal for others to follow, pushing himself to his limits in doing so. Sometimes even John forgot her was only human, and all the strain he willingly took upon himself was going to burn him out.

"That's all I want, John," she told him sincerely. "To help you." His features softened at that with adoration for the woman before him, though he didn't fully calm down. He brought his hand up to Ashley's and pulled it away from his face, holding it gently.

"You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Ashley," he told her. John looked down again, at the hand within his grasp. The red markings of his fingers were only barely visible now, but they were there nonetheless. John spoke with a grave voice. "And it's because I care for you so much that I'm afraid to let you in. No matter where I go, death follows me. For all my success and awards, the people around me keep getting hurt and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

"Stop that," she ordered sternly. Ash maneuvered herself and sat down next to John on his bed, making sure their hands were still entwined together. "What happened was an accident. I know you'd never intentionally hurt me."

"I could never bring myself to hurt you," he replied with conviction. "But sometimes I can't control the outcome of a situation, and then you might be hurt because I wasn't smart or strong enough to protect you."

"I don't need protecting. I'm not some dainty housewife waiting for you to come back from your last tour."

"I know you're not something so unflattering." For a second John had the smallest of half smiles, but then the levity was washed from his face once more. "But this isn't a regular tour, either. Whenever I go to sleep now I see such horrid things, like premonitions. It's only a gut feeling, but I know there's more layers to this mission than what we see right now. That if we keep going after Saren we'll find something much worse, something we can't defend against."

"We don't talk about you dreams much anymore," Ashley said, wanting to change the subject before it spiraled completely out of control. "The last time we did you told me you weren't having dreams about Akuze as nearly as often as you used to."

John gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "That's because someone else kept occupying my thoughts. But I don't dream about Akuze anymore. Ever since what happened with the Beacon, my dreams were these strange muddles of pictures and events and feelings, but I had no way of understanding them beyond knowing something bad was happening."

Ashley canted her head at him. "You say that like it stopped. The dreams are different now?" John only nodded his head in reply. Ash thought back over the past few days, and her inner eye remembered how much more tense Shepard has been since they left Feros a few days prior.

They had gone to the colony of Zhu's Hope on Feros in order to liberate the colonists from the Geth and a giant subjugating plant called the Thorian. As a reward, the freed Asari known as Shiala gave Shepard the Cypher, which she explained was the collective knowledge of the Protheans. For better or worse, the Cypher would allow the receiver a better understanding how Protheans thought, communicated, and interacted in general.

Looking at the lost expression on her lover's face, Ashley was willing to vote it was for worse right now. Ashley knew John had looked paler after he came out of the damned Asari's meld.

"They've gotten worse after Feros, haven't they?" she asked him.

John nodded once more. "With the Cypher I've been better able to make out Prothean ideas, like named places or how they functioned as a society. Liara's been helping me catalogue a lot of it."

Ashley suppressed her sudden spike of childish jealousy. Getting mad over her boyfriend hanging out with the cute Asari archeologist was not something to get into right now.

He went on saying, "But another thing the Cypher did was clear up the images in my head. Now I can make out individual people a little bit more, and I can feel the emotions they felt as the end came for them. I can feel the ground rumble as entire cities, smell the wastes of bodies left to rot."

John shut his eyes and shuddered, recalling his nightmares. Ashley withdrew her hand from his grasp and looped her arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. "It's alright," she consoled. "We don't have to talk about this now."

"If I don't talk about this now then I'll only keep putting it off," John replied tersely. He took a deep breath before saying, "Now my dreams are as vivid as the first day the Beacon hit me. Now the fall of the Protheans isn't just something I can see. It's something I can _feel,_ and my mind won't let me get away from all of the death and destruction and chaos.

"I keep seeing one image over and over again. It kinda looks like Saren's ship, but bigger. This thing, whatever it is… I don't think even the dregs of Hell would call it their ally. It's evil incarnate, a sick and twisted construct that only knows the perpetuation of death. And even though I know I'm only seeing it through the eyes of other people, I can't shake the feeling it's looking at _me._ Like it knows I'm watching it. I try to be brave, to show I'm not afraid of death. But this thing is the harbinger of something worse than death, and it knows there's nothing I can do to stop it."

Ashley listened with unwavering attention, a chilly fear settling into her chest. This thing John was describing sounded like something beyond the plane of existence as they knew it. Very few things could unhinge a man who'd lived through three Thresher Maws devouring his entre unit. If whatever this thing was could scare John Shepard, then Ashley knew something horrible lay on the horizon.

"What does this mean, John?" she asked.

"'Something wicked this way comes,' is what it means. And I think even if we succeed, a lot of people are going to die before this is over."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "Is that where this is coming from? You're afraid you can't stop what's coming, and because of that you'll lose me."

John rested his cheek on her head in turn. "I care for you so much, Ashley. I've haven't let in anyone as close as you in years, and that's what has me so scared. If I failed somehow and you were taken away from me because of my mistakes, I…" John sighed, hanging his head. "I don't know how I'd forgive myself."

"You won't have to," she implored. Ash used her free hand to grip the other side of his face and force John to look at her, to see the seriousness of her gaze.

"Now you listen to me. You are Lieutenant Commander John Shepard. You're the first Human Spectre, and one of the best damn soldiers this galaxy has ever seen. You have a crew of the most loyal friends at your back and together we are going turn Saren's spiky ass into space dust. We're going to stop him and whatever else comes after him. Because you are the best commander I could ever hope for, and anything is possible if you put enough effort into it. You hear me? So stop moping like some private fresh out of basic. We are going to win, and you're not going to lose me. I'll go wherever you go, and you'll always be able to count on me to stay by your side."

John looked at her with endearment as he listened to her, a wondrous quality to his eyes. Ash could see his mouth tug into a smile as he took in her words. Choosing to respond with his actions, John looped his free hand around her neck, pulling her face closer to his own. Their mouths connected in a collision of lips, and Ashley moaned as their tongues clashed for dominance, seeking each other out. She drunk in his taste, the sensations he gave her, and how John affected her emotions and mind.

They pulled away after a minute, and John rested his forehead against hers. "I don't know what I'd do without you," he whispered, undertones of longing in his voice.

Ashley couldn't hold back her own content smile. "You'd get along just fine if I wasn't here. Though I imagine you'd be a lot grumpier."

John let out a single laugh, and it's such a contrast to their somber situation that it's like music to Ashley's ears. He gave her another chaste kiss before saying, "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to try and keep you out. This relationship is still new for me, and sometimes I forget I can let others help me carry burden."

Ash hummed thoughtfully, thinking back to a conversation eerily similar to this one. "Do you remember the day you became a Spectre? After we helped Mr. Bhatia and you helped me when I freaked out about it. You said something really important to me."

"I seem to recall telling you a number of things," he said with a grin.

"Yeah, but this one thing was special. You said you care about me, and so long as you were here, you'd never let me deal with anything on my own."

Ash leaned forward and planted another short but meaningful kiss on his lips. "The same applies for me too. I care about you, John, and so long as I'm here you'll never be forced to stand alone. You'll always be able to count on me."

John moved his hand to the side of her face, pushing a few loose strands of hair away. "I already knew that, but it means so much to me to hear you say that. I…"

His eyes widened as he trailed off, and he look down in shame. Ashley gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing what he was going to say. John and Ashley know they care for each other more than anyone else they have ever met, besides family. But Ashley also knows it's too soon for… that word. Their relationship was still young, and they didn't want to rush into it. The important things would come in due time.

Instead, John nervously asked, "Ash, do you mind… staying tonight? With me?"

Her brow rose in surprise. That was awfully forward, especially on a military ship where personal space was almost unheard of. But truth be told, John mattered more to her than worrying about being seen by an early riser.

Ash carefully extricated herself from his grasp. John watched her expectantly, maybe afraid she would refuse. Instead, Ash scooted backwards, further into the bed, until she could rest her head on one of his surprisingly soft pillows. She held her arm open in invitation for him, and John beamed at her as he laid down beside her. Ash curled her arms around him, one around his neck and one around his waist, pulling him close. John reciprocated by wrapping his arms around the small of her back. He set about trailing lazy patterns through her top while Ashley rested her head in the crook of his, content smiles splayed across both of their faces.

They lay there for a few minutes, basking in each other's company. Ash couldn't fall back asleep right away, but the drowsiness wormed its way in gradually. Ash was about to close her eyes when John spoke.

"So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"I mean what was it that kept you awake tonight?"

"Oh, right," she sighed. She'd completely forgotten about why she was up too. "I… had another dream about Eden Prime."

"Ah." John curled his arms tighter around her in a protective embrace as he nuzzled her hair. "What happened this time?"

"I was walking down the ravine you and Kaidan found me, past dead bodies and fires. I ran into Brandson, who accused me of failing the 212 before turning into one of those Husk things and attacking me."

John was silent a moment as he took in her words. "And are you doing alright? You never looked particularly shaken up while we were talking."

Ash shrugged. "I guess I'm used to it by now. The dreams don't affect me as much as they used to." Ash reared her head back to plant a kiss on John's jaw. "And I know just who to thank for that."

He chuckled lightly at that, and Ashley could feel the sound reverberate through his chest. "I only take a portion of the credit. You're the one who's been so strong through the whole thing. You don't give yourself enough credit."

A lazy smile spread its way across her face, and Ashley's eyelids seriously began to droop. "Hey John?"

"Hmm?" His own voice was thick with tiredness.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. For being the best commander, friend, and boyfriend I could have ever asked for."

Even though her eyes are shut now, Ash can just feel John smiling. "That's all because I'm trying to impress the best girlfriend I could ever ask for."

And at that, wrapped up in John's warm embrace, Ashley fell into a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Not my favorite chapter, but necessary in the grand scheme of things. I wanted to show that Shepard isn't infallible, that he can have his low days too, but he can always rely on his girlfriend Ashley to give him a pep talk.<em>

_And I'd like to say thank to everyone who has followed, favorited, and/or reviewed this story thus far. Your confidence in me is highly appreciated!_


	12. Chapter 12 - Homecoming, Part 1

_Pre Author's Note: First off, I am soooo sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I've been dealing with a lot of Prom, Graduation, and general end of the school year stuff. But now that summer is upon us, hopefully I'll be better able to find time to work on Soldiers._

_So, as recompense, I present an extra long chapter where absolutely nothing of significance happens! Actually, I had planned for it to be longer, but I felt bad about keeping my readers waiting, so I'm posting the first half now and the second part hopefully sometime in the next week or so. So please, grab a snack, relax, and enjoy!_

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Erotic Arts

Chapter 12 – Homecoming, Part 1

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><p>"This was a bad idea, Ash."<p>

"It's going to be fine, John."

"They're going to hate me."

"They'll _love_ you. Lord knows my mom will be happy to know I can keep a boyfriend down for more than a couple weeks."

Ash grinned and shook her head at John's nervousness. She turned back to steering their rented sky car, and John opted to stare out of his passenger window at the passing skyline of Scott, Terra Nova's capital city.

The _Normandy_ had been en-route to Noveria when they'd been hailed by Alliance High Command. Apparently Batarian extremists captured an asteroid and had rigged the rock's attached mass accelerators to put it on a collision course with Terra Nova. The _Normandy _was already plotted to travel through the Asgard system's relay, and was one of the few ships fast enough to intercept Asteroid X57 in time. Shepard redirected the ship without a second thought in order to try and head off the terrorists.

The mission had been particularly grueling for himself, Ashley, and Wrex. The slavers were deeply entrenched in the facilities that operated the mass accelerators, and it took all of the ground team's skills and willpower to oust the Batarians from their positions. In the end the mission had been a success, what with the remaining terrorists being forced to retreat and Terra Nova being saved. But in accordance with what he seemed to be doing a lot of nowadays, John felt like the mission wasn't much of a resounding success as his superiors made it out to be…

"You're thinking," Ash stated plainly.

John glanced at her, but Ash wore a neutral expression. He shrugged as he turned back to the skyline. "I'm not allowed to think on my own time?"

"I didn't say that. But you've got your one face on that says, 'I'm thinking of something really important.'" John chuckled. Ash was becoming quite adept at reading him, more so than most other people he knew. Normally something like this should have worried him, but John was learning that letting Ashley know some of his more personal details wasn't such a bad thing.

She cast a side long glance in his direction. "Is it about how the mission ended?" Ash had apparently become _very_ good at guessing his motivations.

John nodded somberly. "Do you… think I was right to let Balak go?"

"Hmm." Ash slowed the speed of their car so she could make turns through the tall buildings of Scott's financial district. "I know for damn sure I wanted to put a few rounds into that ugly Batarian's ass. But… yeah, I think you made the right call. If not then Dr. Bowman and the other scientists would be dead right now."

"Some would say a handful of scientists for a mass murderer isn't a fair trade."

"Well there's a reason you were in charge of the mission, and not those people. Besides, we wiped out almost all of his forces. Balak won't be back to launching attacks on civilian populations for a while."

John sighed. "Ash, if there's anything I teach you, it should be to never underestimate the tenacity of slavers."

Ash harrumphed as she steered out of the city and over the more suburban areas of the city. "And if there's anything you learn from me, it's to accept when your girlfriend's trying to give you a pep talk." She decelerated the sky car into a hovering position before descending down to the ground and on the side of the street.

She parked the car and turned off its systems before turning to John. "Look, do you regret the scientists being alive at the cost of letting Balak go?"

John thought about it, but the answer wasn't hard to tell. "No."

"Then I think you have your answer." Ash placed her hand on John's thigh and leaned over to give him a quick kiss. "You are many things, John Shepard, but heartless isn't one of them. I know you, so I know you'd only feel worse about yourself if you had let innocent people die."

Giving her a small smile, John placed his hand on her own. "I do appreciate you helping me. And you're right. Balak may have gotten away, but we can always track him down again. We couldn't bring the scientists back from the dead."

"Of course I'm right. I am the brains of the operation," she teased. They smiled at each other as they exited the sky car. "Now enough talk about work. This is our free day, and I don't want to spend it being mopey around my family."

As a token of gratitude, the city of Scott graciously offered to restock the _Normandy's _supplies and necessary fuels. The process would take up most of a single day cycle, so Shepard declared the crew could spend a day of shore leave in Scott before they headed off to the cold wastes of Noveria.

John knew Ashley's family lived in Scott, which was why she was so vehement to join the ground team and save the colony. He figured she would spend the day with them, and he would take some time to simply relax aboard the ship by himself. Ash had surprised him when she asked if he wanted to come along. They had been dating for two years now, but family was always something they only told each other about. He never thought he'd ever actually meat the Williams clan until much farther in the future, when he and Ash could finally settle down outside of military life.

He was nervous, of that there was no doubt. From what Ash had told him, the Williams were very much a military family. Ash had said her family already knew the two of them were in a relationship, because her sisters were "nosy little rats". Mrs. Deborah Williams was never actually military herself, but she had to have learned about the Alliance's fraternization regulations from her husband. In truth, John was most worried about meeting the eldest Williams, fearing she would look down upon two soldiers in the same chain of command being involved with each other.

John and Ashley found themselves in a suburban area with quaint little houses that only really deviated in color. The Williams house in particular was a nice shade of salmon pink. They walked through the green lawn on a cement tile walkway, up to a traditional style of doorway for the entryway.

"I still think this was a bad idea," John warned when they stopped in front of the door.

"And I think you should stop being such a baby," Ash scolded playfully. "My family knows all about you. I wouldn't bring you here if I didn't think it would end well."

John took a deep breath and let it out slowly, steeling his nerves. "All right. Let's do it."

Giving him a reassuring smile, Ash reached for the door handle and eased the unlocked door open. Ash peered her head in as she crossed the threshold. "Hello? Anybody ho- oomph!"

"Ashley!" A spritely girl had launched herself out of nowhere and wrapped her arms tightly around Ashley's neck, making her stumble back. "You're here!"

"Yes, yes I am, Sarah," Ashley managed, giving her youngest sister a pat on the back. "Now please let go before you suffocate me."

"Right, sorry." The 18 year old released her sister from the vice-like hug and hopped down. She turned to John and beamed up at him, holding out her hand. "Hi! I'm Sarah Williams. It's nice to meet you."

Looking down at her with a warm smile, John cannot help likening Sarah to a smaller version of Ashley they look so much alike, albeit with red hair. Same nose, same brown eyes, same complexion, though Sarah's hair is shorter and kept down. But Sarah lacked the hardened look to her gaze, inexperienced to loss and trauma like Ash was. Obviously not every Williams made a career out of crossing paths with Death on a weekly basis.

John gave her hand a gentle but firm shake. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Sarah. Your sister says good things about you."

"Oh, so she already has you lying for her? You must be in deep."

John looked up at the 20 year old Lynn Williams, who boasted a smirk as she walked up to the other three. Of the four Williams daughters, Lynn looked the most like their father. Her hair was the same brown as Ashley's, but Lynn kept hers in curls. Her face was more angular than Ashley's, though the young woman was still quite beautiful.

As he shook her hand, John said, "Well in my defense, Ash did warn me you should avoid insulting a Williams at all costs."

"As good advice as any," Lynn responded. "It is good to finally meet you. I'm dying to figure out just what is that Ash did to enslave you."

"It's nice to see you haven't changed, Lynn," Ash deadpanned. She took a quick head count of her sisters. "So where's Abby?"

"Coming!" they heard from down the hall. John leaned to the side to try and see further into the house, and he caught the edge of a wall mirror. He watched as the 23 year old Abby Williams spruced up her hair one last time and rechecked her makeup before nodding and walking away. "So where's the lucky man?" she asked as she walked into the room.

As she struck a slightly provocative pose against the door frame, John realized Ashley was right in calling Abigail Williams the looker of the family. The tallest of the four, soft looking red hair, a face actresses would kill for, and the fencing lessons certainly did do wonderful things to her figure. All of a sudden Ashley's tales of Abby's "conquests" among the local men and women in their previous homes didn't seem so far-fetched.

And almost the entirety of those powers of seduction were being directed at Shepard. John stood stock still in sheer fear of being tempted by this siren in front of his girlfriend. Lynn and Sarah were rolling their eyes, used to this kind of thing. And Ashley could just barely hold up a smile to mask the fury she felt for her sister at this moment.

"Abby," she grit out coolly. "It's nice to see you again."

Translation: _Stop eye fucking my man._

"Hmm?" Abby glanced over surreptitiously, like she was only just realizing Ash was here too. "Ashley! It's so good to finally see you and your hubby again."

Translation: _Make me._

Abby walked over and enveloped both John and Ash in a big hug, and John felt like he became contact drunk from how fruity the sister's perfume was. "We haven't actually met yet," John tried, hoping to dissuade Abby from getting too clingy.

"Oh I know," she conceded with a smile as she pulled away. "But Ash has told me so much about you it feels like we've met already!" which she finished with a rather girly giggle.

"Anyways!" Ash cut in, purposely stepping in between John and Abby. Gesturing to her sisters, Ash said, "John, these are Sarah, Lynn, and Abby Williams. Girls, this is John Shepard."

John inclined his head in greeting. "It's lovely to meet you all."

"So you really have aliens in your crew?" Sarah asked immediately, the excitement clear on her face.

"You guys were seriously the ones to stop the terrorists on that asteroid?" Lynn asked Ashley.

"So, Shepard, you wanna see our back patio?" Abby asked in a sultry tone of voice. "It has the most romantic view of the sunset."

"Girls! Girls, please!" a new voice interjected. "Let Ashley and Shepard at least make five steps into the house before you start talking their ears off."

They all turned to see Mrs. Deborah Williams walk into the entry area. Where Sarah looked like a younger version of Ashley, their mother was certainly Ashley's older visage. Granted, her hair was a shiny copper, she was slightly more plump of figure due to domestic life, and the signs of old age were obvious in her few wrinkles and somewhat hunched shoulders. But Deborah Williams still held herself with no small amount of pride, just like her eldest daughter. Ashley may be a Williams, but it was obvious she got a lot of her character from her mother's side as well.

Mrs. Williams crossed over to John's side, shaking his hand enthusiastically. "It's so good to finally meet you, John Shepard. Ashley says the most wonderful things about you."

"The sentiment is mutual," John returned politely, making sure to keep his nervousness hidden. "Though Ashley failed to mention just where her good looks came from."

The older woman chuckled haughtily as she turned to her eldest daughter. "You were right, Ashley, he is something of a kiss up. Now why don't you take your sisters into the living room? I'm sure you have some catching up to do." She turned to John. "Sarah and I just finished cooking supper. I'd be awfully grateful if a nice strong man could help me set out the food."

"I'd love to help, Mrs. Williams," John said warmly. Before Ash could protest, Sarah grabbed her wrist and pulled her off in one direction into the house, Abby and Lynn following close behind, with John and their mother heading off in the opposite direction. Ashley gave him an apologetic look as she was lead elsewhere, and Abby sent a saucy wink his way, which elicited a glare from Ash.

"Will you please stop that," she scolded.

"Oh come on!" Abby whined. "You of all people should realize just how much sexier men are when they wear a uniform."

John chuckled to himself as he followed their mother through the quaint little house. Mrs. Williams only sighed at her daughter's behavior and spoke to John over her shoulder. "Now enough with the whole, 'Mrs. Williams,' stuff. To you, it's just Deborah."

"It's a force of habit, ma'am." He was led into the kitchen, and John's olfactory senses were bombarded by various delectable smells. He helped move heaping bowls of corn, sausage, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn bread, and a myriad of various toppings and dressings for salads and whatnot into the adjacent dining room. Deborah set about laying out plates and utensils at their six respective seats.

"I advise you try not to salivate all over the food, Shepard," Mrs. Williams told him. John instantly snapped his mouth shut, checking for loose strands of saliva, causing Deborah to chuckle at his unease. "I take it the rations haven't gotten any better since Charles retired from the service, have they?"

"No they have not," John agreed readily. "If the Alliance had food this amazing I imagine their recruitment quotas would skyrocket."

Deborah smothered her giggle with a hand as she swatted his shoulder. "You mustn't try so hard to impress me. Ashley already adores you, so you don't have to fight for my affections."

John gulped nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, uh, I should probably go get the girls and tell them the food's ready…"

He made to move past her, but Deborah barred him with a hand on his chest, giving him a sly look. "Actually, Mr. Shepard, I was hoping you and I could have chat by ourselves."

The fluttering feeling only increased threefold in his chest, but John nodded his assent. Deborah pulled out two chairs which they sat down in. Deborah clasped her hands together and rested her elbows on the table, giving John an appraising look. John sat up straight, trying his best not to give anything away while they sat in silence. He'd been mentally preparing for this all day. This was the part where he had to convince Mrs. Williams that even though he and Ashley were breaking all kinds of rules and regulations, they wouldn't stop him. He cared about Ash too much to let her slip through his fingers.

"My girls can be quite nosy, can't they?" she asked him.

John's brow rose in surprise, not expecting the question. "To be honest I've dealt with reporters who are a lot worse than that. By no means was I put off by their initial reactions. I know you, your husband, and Ashley raised them right."

"Spoken like a true politician!" she stated good naturedly. Deborah leaned forward and said, "This isn't an interrogation, John. You don't have to talk to me like I'm one of those clouts up in Parliament."

Giving her a small smile, John nodded his head in understanding. "You'll have to forgive me, then. I haven't had a lot of opportunities to meet the families of women I've been involved with." He reconsidered his memories for a moment. "And the last time I did the girl's father all but chased me out of the house with his gun in hand."

Deborah hummed thoughtfully, an amused look on her face. She reached for the teakettle they had brought in and poured herself a small cup of tea. She offered some to John, but he declined for the time being.

As she stirred in the sweetener, she said, "You know, for all of my girls' boasting that they're incorrigible gossips, Ashley included, I actually knew you and she were in a relationship before any of her younger sisters did."

"Oh?"

"Indeed." Deborah took a small sip, nodding in satisfaction before continuing. "That first message she sent home after your mission together two years ago, I knew something had changed. My daughter looked more happy and carefree than I'd seen her be in years. Her sisters assumed it was because of the successful mission, but I knew better. I remembered that face from whenever I looked in the mirror when I first started dating her father, Charles.

"Granted I had no idea Ashley had made Commander John Shepard of all people fall for her, but I knew she'd finally someone who made her happy. Someone who knew just what it is she's feeling at any given moment, and how to bring her back up whenever she was down."

John chuckled as he rested his hands on the table. "Actually, I'd say she's been supporting me just as much I do for her."

"That's what I'm saying. You give her a reason to want to be better. A reason to be proud of her accomplishments." Deborah finished her tea and set it off to side before folding her hand in her lap.

In a more serious tone of voice, she said, "Now, I imagine you must have felt some anxiety about coming here today. I know as well as anyone that a relationship like you and Ashley have breaks more than a few rules set forth by the Alliance."

John was quick to give her an answer, to assure her this wouldn't affect their mission or the ship, but Mrs. Williams was faster. She cut him off by placing one of her hands over one of and giving John a warm smile.

"But truth be told, John Shepard, I care much more about my baby's happiness than some outdated regulation imposed by stuffy old men with a bunch of fancy symbols on their uniforms."

John gawked at her as the words settled into his head. John was certain Mrs. Williams would be skeptical of his relationship with Ash, but apparently the entire family was full of surprises.

"I don't know what to say," he finally said, struck dumb by the older woman's words.

Deborah gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as she pulled away. "Just promise me you'll take care of her. That no matter what may happen, you two will always be there for each other."

"That's not something you need ask of me. I'll always treat Ashley with the respect she deserves, and I'll always be there when she needs me."

"I imagine Ashley wouldn't have stayed so long if you didn't." Deborah clapped her hands together and stood up. "Now, that's enough probing questions. I say we get the girls and sit down to eat."

Mrs. Williams began to walk out of the dining room, but John quickly stood and lightly grabbed her arm to stop her. With a look of conviction, he said, "Mrs. Williams… Deborah, I just want you to know how much your blessing means to me. I care about Ashley a great deal, and knowing her family accepts me means the world."

Deborah smiled up at him and patted his cheek fondly. "As I said, John, Ashley cares about you too. That's all I'll ever need to accept you."

* * *

><p>"Oh! Here's one of me, Garrus, and Tali working on the Mako."<p>

Ashley and her sisters were sitting on the couch in the living room, and Ash was scrolling through various pictures she'd taken or been given during her stint on the _Normandy _thus far_._ Lynn and Sarah crowded around her shoulders to get a good view. Sarah in particular was keen on learning about the aliens Ashley worked with. Abby sat on one end of the couch, paying only the bare minimum of attention whilst playing with her hair.

"Her suit is so pretty," Sarah commented. "Is it true that Quarians can't take their suits off?"

"Yeah," Ash responded, feeling somewhat dickish since Tali wasn't able to simply take her clothes off like Ash could without serious repercussion. "If Tali took off her helmet she could get really sick. She says she's okay with it, but I still feel bad for the poor girl."

"I don't blame you, that suit is so garish," Lynn stated, like she was working on one of her projects. "I can already see at least half a dozen alterations I could make that would make her suit look so much cuter."

"Well maybe you can write down some ideas and I'll pass them along to Tali?" Ashley suggested. She scrolled to the next picture, showcasing a number of the human crew from the ship. "Okay, here we have-"

"Oh hello!" Abby, who hadn't said much until this point, suddenly perked up and yanked Ash's arm toward her to get a better look at the picture. She pointed excitedly to a man off to the side in the photo. "Who is this? Who is this and where can I find him?"

Ash looked to where her sister was pointing, and promptly rolled her eyes. Of course in a picture of over a dozen people, Abby's hawk eyes would seek out Kaidan Alenko, the hottest man on the ship.

"Weren't you just ogling my boyfriend?" she accused.

"Forget that stack of meat," Abby replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. And, knowing her sister, it was entirely possible that Abby had actually already forgotten about Shepard. She pointed to Kaidan with emphasis. "Now who's _this_ hunky specimen of a man?"

Ash huffed. "That would be Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. He's the head of the marine detail on the ship." Ashley yanked her arm back from her sister's grasp. "And he's off limits."

Abby gave her a derisive glare. "I hadn't realized banging the commanding office of a ship gave you free reign to manage the other crew's love lives for them."

"Oh spare me. Kaidan's off limits because do you know how awkward it would be for me knowing my best friend slept with my sister?"

"Oh my god!" Lynn exclaimed, throwing her head back. "You two do not change at all!"

Ash was saved form Abby's biting comment when John poked his head into the room. "Uh, is this a bad time? Or can everyone come and sit down for supper?" The two girls looked at each other and came to the unspoken agreement to table this discussion for later.

The four Williams sisters got up from the couch and followed John to the dining room. Her mother's cooking, Ashley noted, looked as superb as always. Deborah Williams and John sat at either end of the rectangular table. Ashley sat in the chair to John's right, and Sarah sat across from her to John's left. Lynn sat down next to Ash, and Abby sat down next to Sarah.

John became the least bit worried when her mother offered to lead them in Grace. Ash was going to let him know he needn't worry about not joining in, but John took hers and Sarah's hands with a smile that masked his nervousness. Their mother led them in the prayer, same as always.

However, instead of ending it at the normal spot, Deborah Williams added, "And we are also thankful for the bravery of my daughter Ashley and her captain, John Shepard. Were it not for them, I imagine we would no longer have a home to enjoy this food in."

The two soldiers flushed slightly at the praise, and they all finished the prayer with a round of 'Amen' before digging in to the meal. Ashley glanced over at John as she loaded green beans onto her plate, and noticed him very quickly gesture with his right hand, placing it flat on the table with the palm facing upward, masking it as asking for someone to pass the mashed potatoes down. Military shorthand for: _Sitrep._ He was also looking between her and Abby, mild concern clear in his eyes.

Ashley smirked at his discomfort. She reached for her utensils, and very subtly made an 'x' symbol on the table with her pointer finger, then tapped her middle finger on a different spot.

_Changed targets._

His brow rose in surprise, but Ash could see the corners of his mouth quirk upward, the only visible sign of his relief.

Lynn spoke up as she piled mashed potatoes onto her plate. "So were you guys actually on the ground pushing out the terrorists? Or were you up on the ship directing things?"

John shook his head and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "No, I prefer to lead the ground team whenever possible. On X57 in particular it was myself, Ashley, and our other non-Alliance crew member Wrex."

"Just the three of you went up against all those pirates?" Sarah asked.

"Yes indeed. Ashley and I are two of the best soldiers in the Alliance, and Wrex is like a small tank. A bunch of poorly trained and loosely organized mercenaries are no match for us."

In reality the mercs weren't as inept as John made them out to be, nor did he mention the rabid Varren trying to rip off their legs, but Ash was grateful he was downplaying the situation. They didn't need to have her family worrying over their sakes.

"Do you always only go out as three-man teams?" Deborah asked. "I always heard from Charlie or Ashley that marines go out in much larger squads."

John nodded. "A strategy we learned in N training. Maximum output of effectiveness with the minimum number of men. Small teams like ours require the soldiers be exceptionally well trained, but the men and women in our roster are more than qualified to fill the role."

"Um, can we talk about something else?" Ash interjected. "I don't mean to be rude, but I don't much care talking about a job where I'm getting shot at during supper."

Sarah swallowed her mouthful of food and spoke up. "Wrex is the Krogan, right? Are they as scary as the newscasters make them out to be?"

"Some Krogan, yeah," John answered with a lopsided grin. "Some are actually pretty normal when you get to know them. But Wrex is a big ol' softie. He tries playing up the big and bad routine, but I can see through him."

To their mother, Ashley said, "Just don't invite Wrex over for dinner. Watching him devour entire Varran roasts has given our engineer Linda Montreal nightmares."

Deborah Williams only chuckled and her eyes took on the gleam they adopted whenever she's accepted a challenge. "I've never met a person I couldn't satisfy with my cooking."

"Ash also mentioned you have a Turian in your crew," said Lynn. "What's he like?"

Ashley snickered as she ate her mashed potatoes. "Vakarian's too thick-headed for his own good. But Garrus is actually pretty cool when's he's not acting so full of himself. Probably the best marksman on the ship besides myself, too."

John harrumphed loudly as he loaded more green beans onto his plate, eliciting a few giggles from the Williams girls. Abby placed her utensils down for a moment to ask, "So, John, what can you tell me about a certain lieutenant on your crew? Kaidan Alenko, I believe his name is."

His brow raised somewhat, now fully understanding what Ash meant by, 'New target.' "Kaidan's one of the best soldiers I've had the pleasure of serving with. He's loyal, intuitive, resourceful. Could stand to be a little more self-confident, but he can take charge of a situation if need be."

Abby grinned wickedly, and Ash could almost hear all of the dirty thoughts relating to 'taking charge' buzzing around her pretty little head. "Ashley, didn't you mention once in a vid-mail that Kaidan's a biotic?"

"I might have," Ash responded, already knowing where this train of thought was going.

"Hmmm. I've heard biotic displays are certainly something to see. I wonder just what Mr. Alenko can do with his."

"Abigail," their mother cut in, giving the second eldest daughter a pointed look. "What have I told you about having your sordid fantasies at the dinner table?"

"Oh fine," sighed Abby, slumping in her seat and resuming her meal.

John chuckled at the exchange. "For the record, Alenko's biotics have helped save the day more than few times. He's a commendable man for having mastered such a strange gift."

"Asari are naturally biotic, right?" asked Sarah. "Ashley says you guys are friends with one on your crew."

"That would be Dr. Liara T'Soni, and yes, I would consider her a friend. And you're right, Sarah, Liara's probably one of the best biotics I've ever worked with. Nice girl, too. Just a little bit too shy for her own good."

"She's a doctor?" Deborah asked. "Is she in the medical field or for another career?"

"Archeology, actually," Ashley answered. "Liara's insanely smart about everything there is to know about the Protheans. We even picked her up from a dig site she was researching at the time."

"Ashley says you have a Quarian on your crew, too," said Abby, and for once she didn't sound like she had an ulterior motive for her question. "What's she like?"

"That would be Tali," John supplied. "And she's nothing like Citadel propaganda would have you believe. Tali is by far the most technologically gifted person on the ship, maybe even on this side of the galactic core. Plus as a Quarian she's given us valuable insight into fighting the Geth. Besides that, she's fun to chat with, and quite funny when you can get her to lower her barriers."

"I would love to give that girl some insights," Lynn stated. "Have her call me before you guys ship out again. It's against my very nature to let a poor girl like her walk around in a suit that tasteless."

John chuckled as he ate his food. "I'll be sure to pass the message along. So, Ashley says you design clothing. Is that a side job or a career path?"

"It's my major, actually. I'm into my second year of college with a focus on graphic design, artistry, and apparel as my focuses. My teachers say my designs and ideas are the best in not only my class, but the higher year classes as well."

Lynn took a moment to wipe the corner of her mouth with her napkin, sporting a very proud smile as she continued speaking. "Actually, a scout from the Lyn'Ranna School of Fine Arts visited the campus and took an interest in my work. She was so impressed she offered to let me spend a semester at their school."

John's eyes bulged out of his head. "Wait, you mean that fancy Asari school on the Citadel? Your designs must be truly spectacular to impress the race whose entire culture is based on beauty. I'd take up that offer if I were you. Spending some time around other peoples and cultures can do wonders for one's outlook and career prospects."

"You mean _we_ should take that offer," Abby interjected, looking smug. "I'm Lynn's muse, and I've helped model almost all of her outfits. The Asari scout was just as impressed with me as she was with Lynn's clothing."

Lynn rolled her eyes, and Deborah gave both of her daughters a good natured grin. "As much as I hate to inflate Abby's ego any more, she's right. The Asari scout told us Abby has a real knack for modeling, and if she goes abroad with her sister it could seriously bolster her career prospects."

"Really?" Ashley asked. "It only seems like yesterday Lynn took down all of our curtains and dressed up Abby like she was some kind of frilly princess."

Abby gave her sister mild glare. "I looked fabulous and you know it. At least some of us had to be born with a fashionable bone in our body."

Ashley scoffed. "And honestly I'm glad you won out in that certain genetic roulette. I don't have the time or the patience to worry about which clothes match which colors or whatever."

"Says the woman who squealed with delight when her weapons training simulator released a new collage of colors for the holograms," John muttered as he shoved mashed potatoes into his mouth. The Williams clan, sans Ashley, giggled at his remark.

His girlfriend narrowed her eyes at him. "You are not helping." John only smirked back at her as he ate his food. To her sisters she said, "Well whatever. The Alliance provides plenty of uniforms, official and off duty, so I'm not in danger of running out of things to wear."

Lynn made an exaggerated shudder. "Do not get me started on your uniforms. Those things are abominations. I can only stand to look at you two in them because you're family."

John spluttered into his drink as the comment took him off guard. Ashley elbowed Lynn in the side and gave her an, '_Are you serious?'_ look. The middle sister seemed to realize what she said and sent an apologetic shrug back.

However, John cleared his throat and went on talking like nothing had happened. "So I understand Lynn's college plans. What are you studying, Abby?"

"Mostly general courses," she replied casually. "Though I am graduating next year with a major in public speaking and acting. I've received a few requests from human oriented acting schools to continue my education."

"Sounds like you're bound for the big screens."

"That's the plan. It'd be really amazing to get my name circulating around Citadel movie and modeling markets too. Even getting a small part in a movie like that would skyrocket my career."

"I imagine it would. I'll be sure to keep an eye out for your name in the ads." John turned to the sister sitting to his left. "So what about you, Sarah? You're graduating from high school this year, right?"

"Yes I am, though I'm not going off to college just yet. I'm signed up on a specialized recruitment contract with the Alliance."

"Really?" That perked John's interest, as he leaned forward and rested his chin on his clasped hands. "What's your field?"

"I've been taking online classes for xenolinguistics for the past few years in addition to my normal classes. An Alliance recruiter took note of my grades and aptitudes, so he offered a special enlistment opportunity where after basic I'd receive extra training in alien relations with the Third Fleet."

"The navy?" Ashley asked, surprised. "You never mentioned that in your vid mails."

"Well, the offer only just came up recently. The recruiter had to circumvent a lot of bureaucratic stuff to help me out. Why, are you surprised?"

Ashley didn't know how she felt. It had taken her years to be elevated to a ship board posting, and now Sarah was being offered the same honor right out of the gate. So yes, maybe she did feel the least bit jealous of her sister. But she was also genuinely proud. Sarah had always been the smartest one of the four Williams sisters. As much as Ash felt she was cheated all those years, that was beside the point, and Sarah deserved something like this.

"Well, yeah," she finally said. "After everything I went through in the military I was afraid you'd be held back by the same regulation and political BS as me for all these years."

Sarah nodded in understanding. "I thought so too, and I was going to tell the recruiter not to waste his time. But he was adamant, saying my skills were too valuable to be wasted like that. I guess he found someone up the chain of command who agreed, cuz the offer I received offered a lot more benefits than what most recruits get."

John made an appreciative sound in the back of his throat. "I may not fully understand what xenolinguistics entails, but you must be exceptionally talented at it to have the Alliance take such an interest in you."

The youngest sister flushed slightly at the praise and looked away. "Thank you. Well, at its simplest, xenolinguistics is about learning alien languages and making connections between theirs and ours to help facilitate communication between us and them."

Abby made a bored snoring sound as she picked at her food. That got her a glare from her mother, but Sarah went on unabashed. "But it's more than that too. Xenolinguistics also teaches how language can vary between aliens of the same species, just like accents for us. It's also about learning how to read alien intentions through voice inflection and annunciation. Ultimately it's about trying to overcome the barriers that separate us and find more common ground."

"Lord knows if there's anything we need more of, it's that," said John. "I can't tell you how many times on this mission alone we've ran into obstacles because of miscommunications between species."

"Though it can be pretty funny, sometimes," Ash offered. "Right now the crew's favorite game is to use some human idiom around the aliens and watch them reel from how strange it sounds to them."

John chuckled. "My favorite thus far was Joans using 'Burning the midnight oil' on Garrus. The poor guy got so freaked out; he thought he was actually burning the oil we use in the Mako!"

"No way, Tali had the best reaction by far," Ashley countered. To her family she elaborated, "We were eating lunch and talking about gossip, and someone mentioned they 'Heard it on the grapevine.' Tali didn't say anything at first, but I could see the gears turning in her head. I went to check on her later, and I found out she'd spent half the day pulling apart panels looking for a plant that was growing inside the ship's hull!"

A round of laughs circulated around the table. Ashley looked to John, and was gratified to see him let go for once, laughing alongside them all. For so much of the mission already John acted like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He needed this; a break where he could forget about his duties and relax, if only for a little while.

She bumped his knee lightly with her own, and John turned to her with genuine happiness on his features for once. His blue eyes sparkled with delight. He'd been so nervous about coming here today, Ash was thankful his weariness was proven unnecessary for once. Ash extended her hand toward him under the table, and he laced their fingers together, giving her an affectionate smile.

The laughter tapered off and they resumed eating their meals. Abby, with a mischievous glint in her eye, leaned forward and said, "So Ashley, can I ask you something?"

"Mmhmm," Ash grunted in affirmation as she took a drink of her water…

"How's the sex?"

…and very nearly choked to death.

* * *

><p>"And this is my room," Ashley announced as she and John passed through the doorway. "Well, I can't say I've ever actually lived in here for more than a few days at a time, but all my stuff is here, so I guess it's technically my room."<p>

Even though they insisted on helping them to clean up after the meal, Deborah Williams turned down Ashley's and John's offers. So, while Mrs. Williams and Sarah picked up the dishes ad leftover food, Ashley opted to give John a tour of the house. Abby and Lynn disappeared as well, saying they were going to dig up, "Something Ash would appreciate." It was too cryptic for John to understand, but judging from Ashley's eye roll, it was probably some sibling rivalry thing.

"I probably could have guessed this room was yours just by looking at it," John commented. The room itself was small compared to the other bedrooms of the house, the furniture inside was more modest, and the light blue paint of the walls didn't look like it had been touched up like the other rooms of the house in the past couple of years. Understandable, given how much time Ashley has to spend away from home. Why not save the least habitable room for the person who's going to spend the least amount of time in it.

Despite that, John was correct in saying the room definitely belonged to Ashley, and not just some random woman or girl. There was a distinct lack of posters featuring boy bands or favored actors and actresses. The amount of clothes she owned easily fit into the dresser and closet with room to spare. And on her desk, right next to the mirror and small makeup set, was a weapons cleaning utility kit. John also spied a large collection of paperback books sitting on top of the dresser, which he could confidently guess were some of Ashley's favorite collections of poems and verses.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ash asked with a grin as she sat down on her bed.

John chuckled as he walked over and sat down beside her, immediately lacing his hand with her own. "It means no one has the same kind of taste as you, and that's not something I'd ever changed."

"You are so cheesy," she muttered as she leaned forward and planted her lips on his. John responded in kind, deepening the kiss as his their eyes drifted close.

He didn't know if Ash had a lot of practice, or if he was simply biased toward her, but Ash was such an amazing kisser. Her lips were plump and soft, and she worked her tongue in ways John couldn't believe. And she was so much more _responsive_ than any other woman John had ever been with. Already Ash was pulling her legs up onto the bed, leaning into his touch as John placed his hands around her waist…

"Aw, you two are so freaking adorable."

It was like someone shot a mass effect field between them Ashley and John jumped away from each other so quickly. John gripped the bedding on either side of his legs, his face burning with embarrassment for having been caught. For her part Ash was much more composed with her hands clasped in her lap, looking like the very personification of celibacy.

They looked up to see Abby leaning on the door frame to Ash's room, arms crossed and giving them biggest shit-eating grin. "Oh don't mind me," she told them innocently. "Far be it from me to keep my older sister from actually loosening up for once in her life."

Ash gave her sister a withering look. "You know, there is a sign on the door saying to knock before entering."

"I haven't followed that rule for twenty three years, and I don't plan on starting now." Abby pushed her off of the wall and said, "But by all means, take as much time as you need. I just came up to let you know the rest of us are gathered in the living room. I think we found something you'd both like to see."

Giving them only a cryptic smile, Abby walked out of Ash's room, and they listened to her steps as she descended the stairs. Ash blew out a breath as she shook her head. Smiling, John sidled closer and looped an arm around her shoulders.

"If it's any consolation, I've been caught doing worse in my childhood bed before."

"That is the worst consolation I have ever heard," she told him wryly, giving him a smile herself.

Chuckling, John glanced at the doorway where Abby stood, maybe to make sure she still wasn't listening in. "So, uh, has Abby always been like that?"

"You mean a shameless flirt? Pretty much, ever since she's realized just how attractive she is. Growing up it was always sort of me versus her in the romance department."

"Please tell me you didn't fight over the same boys."

"Oh, fought is such a vulgar word. We… made a healthy competition out of it."

"Uh huh," John said, thoroughly unconvinced.

"Okay, so maybe there were some yelling matches," Ash conceded. "And the very occasional wrestling match about boys we purportedly 'stole' from each other."

"Oh great, my girlfriend can be petty when she wants to be."

She gave him a half-hearted glare and elbowed his side, causing him to wince as he laughed. More seriously he told her, "Though I am glad she's shifted her sights to Kaidan. I can barely hold the affections of one Williams girl. I'm not sure I could handle two."

Ash chuckled as she slipped a hand around his waist. "You are such an incorrigible ass."

"That's _Commander_ Incorrigible Ass to you," he said before giving her a kiss on her cheek.

She smiled at his comment, but something seemed to cross her mind, and Ash glanced sideways. "You know, Tali told me I might not be the only woman on the ship who has their sights set on you."

John sighed, exasperated. "Why doesn't she get with Alenko and form a club where they manage my love life for me while she's at it."

Ash pulled her head back to give him a questioning look. "Kaidan's noticed too?"

"Yeah. He… implied that Liara might, just might, want to be more than friends." He shook his head. "I appreciate their concern, but I really don't think Liara's as smitten as they say she is."

"Ehhh," Ashley gave him an uneasy expression, "I never looked too hard before, but when Tali mentioned it to me, I started noticing some things. You have to admit she gets really flirty around you whenever you're together."

"I'm pretty sure 'flirty' and 'Liara' are two words that shouldn't ever go in the same sentence."

"John, she tried complimenting you on your dancing skills the other day."

"I am not that bad a dancer!"

Patting his cheek, she told him in a sweet voice, "John, as much as I care for and respect you dearly, you cannot perform any dance that requires the use of more than two limbs."

John huffed indignantly. "You know, maybe I'll give Liara a call when we leave today, because it looks like there's a position opening for girlfriend to the Great Commander Shepard."

"Oh, you're the _Great_ Commander Shepard now. Last week it was Commander Shepard the Amazing. Next week I bet it'll be His Lord and Highness Commander Shepard."

"I prefer, His Regality Commander Shepard."

Ash couldn't hold it back anymore, doubling over she began laughing so hard. "Oh my god, that is just terrible!" John snorted in laughter as well, joining her as they broke down in glee.

After a moment they calmed down, and John took one of her hands in his own, giving the back of it a lingering kiss. "You see? This is why I could never see myself with anyone else. No one gets me the way you do. No one can make me laugh and smile the way you do."

Ashley beamed at him as she gave his hand and affectionate squeeze. "I wouldn't be a very good girlfriend if I couldn't at least make you happy." She leaned forward and gave him a brief kiss. "And it's not all that hard to do when you're making me laugh, too."

"Exactly. Besides, even if you and I weren't together, I still couldn't see myself with Liara. She's a bit too… clingy, for my tastes."

"Yeah, about that," she said, patting his knee. "I get the feeling Liara isn't that good at picking up social cues. I think you should sit her down and have a talk with her sometime soon."

John grimaced and whined pitifully. "Do I have to? Can't you do it? You know, girl to girl?"

"Don't tell me _His Regality_ Commander Shepard, the man who runs headlong into Geth and Mercs and whatever else we can find, is afraid of some love sick Asari."

"Well you don't have to talk with her the way I do. Whenever it's just us she gets all doe-eyed and innocent looking. I swear it feels like just saying her favorite brand of cereal ran out is enough to break her heart."

Ash poked him in the chest. "_You_ can deal with your own problems. I've got my own secret admirer to worry about."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Is that so?"

John watched as Ash's eye widened and she cursed herself for letting that slip out. Rubbing her arm nervously, she told him, "Well, Tali also might have noticed that the Requisitions Officer has been sending some furtive glances my way."

"Richard Joans, right?" John knew the man. Not one of his picks for the _Normandy_ roster, but Anderson had insisted the young man would be an asset to the crew. Still, John had only ever kept the man at arm's length, and truth be told had almost never actually bought anything from him. If anything Joans was the vendor where John simply dumped all of the merchandise he and his ground crew had no need of. Joans had always seemed a little squirrely to him, and if Tali was right in saying the officer might be keen on Ashley, then this was something that required John's attention…

"John," said Ash derisively, cutting into his thoughts. "Do not kill Joans and use your Spectre status to cover it up."

"Oh, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Now if Joans were to suffer some unfortunate accident…"

Ashley got up from the bed and stood before him, hands on hips, giving him one of her sternest glares.

John raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, fine. I won't have the competitors eliminated through dastardly means. But cut me a break, with a prize like you, I have to at least be a little paranoid."

She quirked her brow (and goddamn did he love it when she did that) at him. "So I'm just some prize to be fought for and won now?"

He smirked up at her as he moved to stand. "Don't tell you don't love being fought for." He moved closer, and Ash stood her ground, still giving him a halfhearted glare. He lowered his voice several timbers. "Admit it. You like having men compete for your affection, trying to gain your favor. You love being the center of attention."

Ash grinned back as she gave him a sultry look that sent his heart racing. "I'll admit it does have it perks. And frankly, I wouldn't waste my time with any man if I thought they couldn't work for it." Her hands left her hips, and she placed them on his arms, guiding his hands to curl around her waist. Her voice lowered to a husky whisper. "But when I set my sights on something I want, everything else is only sub par."

"See? To you I'm just a grade A slab of meat," he teased. John stepped closer, molding their bodies together, and Ash moved her hands to his shoulder and chest, her fingers dancing along the form fitting clothes and sending Goosebumps along his skin. The scent of her fills his senses and John can't help but marvel at it being one of the greatest things he's ever smelled.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that sentiment," she told him breathily, her hot breath inches from his face. She gave him a serious look, her beautiful brown eye leaden with desire. "But if you were such a hunky slab of meat, you'd be mine. No one else could have you."

"I don't want to belong to anyone else," he managed to get out before he lost control. He pulled Ashley closer over what little distance remained between them, and she sent her lips crashing against his. Both of them let our needy moans, their kiss hot and possessive of each of each other. John meant what he said. Ashley was the only woman for him, and in turn he wanted to be the only man for her. He never felt as though that position was ever actually in doubt, but that would never stop him from fighting for her affections.

Rashly, John gripped her upper thighs and pulled Ashley up onto him. Ash didn't miss a beat, immediately hooking her legs over the small of his back and looping her arms around his neck. His extensive mass of muscle allowed him to hold her easily, and John quickly crossed the room toward her desk. Ashley paused in their kissing for a brief second to gasp as he roughly placed her on the edge of the desk before resuming her oral attack.

Ash ground their hips together as their hands roamed over their bodies, and John can his feel his need hardening in his pants as her ministrations set his body on fire. They've never actually been intimate since their first night together on Arcturus. But now John's desire for Ashley reawakened, and judging from how she went at him, John could guess the feeling was mutual. He loves her breathy moans for him, loves how her hands sent sparks racing through his body, loves the velvety feeling of her skin as he works his hands underneath the hem of her shirt-

"Are you two coming down soon or what?" Sarah called up from the first floor.

They broke away in an instant, breathing heavily. John took a moment to get his bearings, and he mentally cursed himself as he remembered where they were. They were at Ashley's house, in a small room that probably didn't muffle sound too well, with her entire family downstairs waiting for them. Ashley may take up most of his mind when the two of them are together, but he should have been smarter than this.

Doing her best to keep her voice even, Ash called down, "Just a minute!" They gave each other apologetic looks as John freed her from his grip and Ash stepped down from the desk.

John shook his head, willing his body to calm down, especially his arousal in his groin at this moment. "I'm sorry," he told her. "I shouldn't have goaded you on like that. I just… forget about everything else when we're together sometimes."

Ash surprised him by gripping his cheeks and pulling him into one more, hard kiss. "Soon," she told him after she pulled away, giving him a meaningful look. "You're not the only one hungry for another round in the sack."

He smiled at her as he took her hands in his own. "You know we don't have to rush into this. I'm patient. I can wait until you're ready."

"I never said you were the impatient one," she said with a self-deprecating grin. "I know we don't get a lot of chances to actually act like a couple, but I still want this. We just have to wait until something opens up, alright?"

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm perfectly fine going at your speed."

Ashley chuckled. "If we went at my speed, we'd probably be married by now."

John laughed himself, giving her one last kiss. "Now come on. We've kept your family waiting for long enough."

"Sure." With that, the two of them exited Ash's room and made for the stairwell leading to the first floor. Just as John began descending the steps, he felt Ashley's hand on his shoulder lightly tugging him back. He turned back to hear what it was she wanted to say.

"Listen, I know I took you off guard when I proposed you meeting my family today. You didn't have to come if you didn't want to. But it means a lot that you did. So, thanks, I guess. For coming out here and giving the Williams clan a chance."

John gave her a loving smile. "Your family's important to you. That means they're important to me. All I want is for you to be happy."

"You're such a charmer." Ashley smiled, but the levity faded away as she looked away. "So, um, is there any chance I might be able to meet the Shepard family?"

John felt his light mood dampen as well. Rubbing the back of his neck, he told her, "My mother's really the only family I have left. And ideally, yes, I'd like for you to eventually meet her. But my mother and I haven't exactly been on speaking terms for the past few years."

Ashley waved him off. "It's fine. We don't have to talk about this right now," she said quickly.

"No." John stepped back up a few of the steps so they could stand closer together. "You trusted me to meet your family. The least I can do is trust you to meet mine. I can't promise anything soon, but I promise you'll eventually be able to meet Hannah Shepard."

The corners of Ashley's mouth quirked upwards. "That sounds like a privilege not many girls before me got."

"It certainly is. I only save the most special girls for my mother." Giving her a smile once more, John started leading them back down the stairs.

"Anything I should be prepared for before I meet her?" Ash asked from behind him.

John's face grew into a smirk Ash couldn't see. "Truth be told, she'll probably love you right out of the gate. Then she'll spend most of the visit speculating about how much better you could do than me."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Kind of a weird place to end for now, I know. But I wanted to post something and not keep my readers hanging. The next chapter will follow directly where this one ended.<em>

_I do hope you enjoyed reading about my renditions of the Williams sisters. In a sense, they are kinda OC in order to fit my story, but I tried basing their characters appropriately with what information we are given about them in game._

_Now, I have a question for you all. In the next chapter, I'm planning for a scene which is definitely deserving of an M rating. Basically, I'm asking you all as to what your opinions on love scenes are. You can leave a review with your opinion if you want, but I'm actually hoping for everyone to check out my profile page and vote in the Poll I put up before I posted this chapter. The Poll can be found at the top of my Profile Page, and it will stay up until I post Homecoming, Part 2._

_Essentially, these are the three options:_

_1 – Fade to Black. Like what we get in the game for most romances. I'll detail the characters getting hot and heavy, than cut away right around when the clothes start coming off. The story will probably pick back up after the deed has been done. Keep in mind if this option is picked, I might be inclined to lower the story's rating to T._

_2 – Tasteful. Where I describe the entirety of the love scene, but very superficially. Example: Their bodies moved back and forth against each other as their dual pleasures increased, until they achieved their release._

_3 – Down and Dirty. Pretty much adult fanfiction. Not for the faint of heart. Example: "(BEEP)," he grunted as he (BEEP)ed her so (BEEP)ing good in her (BEEP). _


	13. Chapter 13 - Homecoming, Part 2

_Author's Note: Firstly, poor 'Fade to Black'. It didn't get a single vote. _

_Now I could say which option won out, but where's the suspense in that? ;) Also, in my headcannon, soldiers like John and Ash tend to keep their bodies hairless in order to avoid chafing when wearing under suits along with their armor._

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Elephant Arts

Chapter 13 – Homecoming, Part 2

* * *

><p>As they drew closer to the living room, John could make out the sounds of people talking, but the voices were diluted by the telltale electronic filter of being on a recording.<p>

"Oh no," he heard Ash mutter behind him. She must have recognized the voices, and knew just what they were walking into.

They entered into the living room to find Mrs. Williams and Abby sitting on the couch, watching something play on their television screen. Abby eagerly scooted over and patted the seat next to her when he saw them walk in, a malicious glint in her eye. John and Ashley warily sat down next to the younger sister and looked to see what they all were watching.

Ash promptly covered her face, which was very quickly turning a dark shade of red, with a hand when she realized what it was. "Really, this? You couldn't have found anything else to embarrass me with?"

"Nope!" Abby answered smugly, laughing at her sister. It took John a moment to place what he was watching before he realized it must have been a high school rendition of The Music Man. But even more surprising was the lead actress. It was none other than Ashley Williams, and she looked like she couldn't have been any more than seventeen years old.

John couldn't stop a giggle from bubbling up as realization dawned on him. "You never told me you did theatre in high school," he teased.

"And there's a reason I never did," Ash returned miserably without looking at him.

Deborah Williams only scoffed at her daughter. "I don't know why you insist on trying to make people believe you can't act. I always thought you had such a lovely singing voice."

Ash only groaned and tried sinking into the couch cushions to get out of sight. Laughing, John sidled closer and looped an arm around her shoulders to pull her into his embrace. "I for one think you look absolutely adorable in your pretty little dress." The younger version of Ashley wore one of the big poufy dresses typical of women living in the United States during the mid-twentieth century.

If glares could kill, the look Ashley sent him through her fingers could have left John dead three times over.

On the screen, John watched as Young Ashley played the role of Marian the Librarian. It was the scene where Marian went to see the play's lead character Harold Hill, played by a boy he didn't recognize, on a romantic bridge while 'stars' glittered on the back curtain, giving the effect of a night sky.

"Ashley usually did sports in school," Mrs. Williams explained to John. "However, that winter she sprained her ankle during a basketball game, and the local physician barred her from strenuous activity. She looked so forlorn sitting at home after school so much, I convinced her to at least try out for the school musical. I figured at least a small part would keep her occupied and in touch with her friends. Imagine my surprise when the director called home insisting that Ashley take up the lead female role, he was so enamored with her voice."

"It was just some stupid kid's play," Ashley whined. "Can we please put something else on?"

"Oh come now, Ashley," her sister implored playfully. "Would you really deny John the chance to actually see you acting womanly for once? And look, your big song is coming up."

The glare Abby received could have left her dead five times over.

"I think I agree with your sister, Ash," John said to her. "It's good to see you broadening your horizons."

The glare he received should have left John as a smoldering pile of ash on the carpet.

Just as the first few musical notes for 'Till there was You' started playing, Lynn called out to them from another room. "Ready to go!"

Seeing her chance to change the subject, Ash practically lunged for the remote and hit the pause button just as her younger self started opening her mouth to start singing. Ignoring her mother's stern look, she asked, "Uh, going where?"

Lynn and Sarah walked into the living room, each carrying a basket and pushing along a cooler. "Alright, we should have everything," Lynn announced. "Snacks, drinks, and blankets and chairs. Now come on! We have to get a good spot to see the fireworks from."

John turned to their mother with a questioning look. "There's going to be fireworks later?"

"You hadn't heard about them?" John and Ash only shook their heads. "The legislature put forward a bill yesterday to commemorate your saving Terra Nova from the terrorist attack as a holiday. Enough people phoned in to voice their support that the bill was passed this morning. A bunch of local businesses organized fireworks displays throughout the colony for it this evening."

John sighed and shook his head. "Of course they did." He was just doing his job, and John was happy enough to get a pat on the back for it. He really didn't need another day where he was constantly reminded of his own name.

Ash on the other hand took the news in stride. Clapping his shoulder, she said, "Sweet! About time we started getting some recognition for all the hard work we do."

Her enthusiasm was infectious, causing John to smile himself. "Yeah, I suppose I can stand having people praise us for one day."

"So you'll come see the fireworks?" Sarah asked. John nodded in affirmation, and the young woman brightened. "Cool! Although it is technically a holiday celebrating the whole _Normandy_ crew. Do you know if any of them want to come too?"

"Way ahead of you," Ash stated. She pulled her Omni Tool out and punched in someone's contact info. A moment later a video display popped up, framing Kaidan's face.

"Go for Alenko," the man said. "Oh, hey Ash. How's the family reunion going?"

Out of the corner of his eye, John watched Abby perk up and stand to move behind Ash, a maniacal grin in her face. Unaware, Ashley told him, "Pretty good. Actually we're about to head out and see some fireworks. Did you know they made up a holiday for us since we saved the colony?"

Kaidan chuckled on his end of the connection. "Yeah, we found out about it earlier. Funny story actually. Wrex really wanted to check out a fireworks store, thinking it was a munitions depot or something. Long story short, we met up with the people in charge of buying the fireworks, and Zorah and Vakarian got roped into helping set up the pyrotechnics. We're at the park now, actually."

"Grant Park?" Abby asked eagerly, leaning over Ashley's shoulder.

Kaidan was momentarily taken aback by the new face, but recovered quickly. "Uh, yeah, that's the name. I've been calling up the rest of the crew all day, seeing if anybody else wanted to come out."

Pointedly ignoring her sister, Ashley elaborated, "Kaidan, this is my oldest sister Abby. Abby, this is Kaidan."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Alenko," Abby greeted in a sultry voice.

John watched as Kaidan visibly gulped. "It's, uh, nice to meet you too. So you're all, uh, coming out to the park?" John could sympathize with the lieutenant. He likely didn't spend a lot of time going out and chatting up pretty women like Ash's sister.

"That's the plan," Ash told him. "We'll be there in a little while."

"We'll be waiting," Kaidan responded before he cut the connection.

"Oh how fun!" Abby exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "Now we get to meet all of your new friends."

"It should certainly make for quite a crowd," Mrs. Williams agreed, picking herself up from the couch. "Now, everyone grab something. The park is only a few blocks away, so there's really no point in taking the car."

"Actually," Ashley started as both she and John got up as well, "Is it okay if John and I take some of the supplies with us in our sky car? We're going to be a little while before we head to the park."

John turned to her with a perplexed stare. "Where else could we go today?"

Ash took a hold of his hand while she gave him a nervous smile. "There's… one more person I want you to meet while we're here."

* * *

><p>It was a nice day, John decided as he stood there in the grass. The blue sky was cloudy but by no means over cast. The sun was warm, but the wind flowing around him brought a cooler edge. The scenery around him was peaceful, melancholy, as he listened to Ashley's melodic words.<p>

…_Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;_

_One equal temper of heroic hearts,_

_Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will_

_To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield._

As she finished reading Ulysses, Ash closed down her Omni Tool. Her voice had become thick with emotion by the end, and John could see the least bit of wetness in the corners of her eyes. She smiled, but it was laced with an underlying sadness John knew too well.

Ash had driven them out to Scott's local cemetery, and they now stood before the tombstone of Charles Williams, Ashley's father. John kept up a stoic silence throughout most of the excursion. He knew what it was like to revisit memories shared with one who was no longer with you, so he let Ashley be as they walked through the graveyard toward her father's grave.

She spoke to tombstone as though Mr. Williams himself sat upon it. Anyone who didn't understand Ashley's faith might have scoffed at her actions, but to John it was endearing. Ashley would never stop loving her father, the same as he did, and they both knew their fathers would always stay with them in spirit, or at least in their thoughts.

Ashley recounted everything that had happened to her since the last time she was home. She told her father about losing the 212 on Eden Prime, how she was reassigned to the _Normandy,_ and about all the adventures she's had thus far with her newfound group of odd but dear friends. She told her father about John and the unorthodox relationship they had. Ash voiced her concerns that her father might not have approved of them, but like with her mother, John could guess Mr. Williams likely would have favored his daughter's happiness over abiding by a few regulations.

For his part John stood off to the side while Ashley talked, keeping quiet. His father may have been cremated and the ashes spread out amongst the stars, but John knew something like this took a heavy toll on family whenever they came out to see their lost loved one. He of all people should know to be respectful of the dead.

When Ashley finished with everything she had to say, she pulled out her Tool and read Ulysses by Tennyson to her father, same as she always did whenever she was home. Now that she was done she stood before her father's grave, silent as she looked down upon it. John came up and stood beside her, looping an arm around both of hers. Ash didn't fight him, choosing to lay her head upon his shoulder. John rubbed her arm idly, partly to keep her warm and partly to assure that he was here for her.

"Do you still miss your dad sometimes too?" she asked him suddenly.

John was quiet for a moment as he thought back to many years ago. In truth his memories of his father are rather hazy, fleeting images and general emotions but nothing concrete. But prior to the period of illness and passing away, all of John's memories of his father are happy ones. They are fleeting glances into a time where John was carefree, everything was right with the world, and he had a father who loved him. John sometimes finds himself wishing he could go back to that time, where everything was so much simpler.

John placed a lingering kiss atop her head. "Yes," he told her.

Ash reached across her torso to take John's hand in her own, and he can feel the warmth of her touch. They stood there for a few minutes, content in the serenity and peacefulness of where they were. In his mind John can't fathom just how lucky he is. This was a ritual meant for Ashley and Ashley alone. It was something even her family knew to give Ashley her space for. But for some reason he couldn't possibly comprehend, Ashley trusted him enough to share this experience with him. To allow him to see the sanctity of a girl's quiet moments with her late father.

Looking down at the beautiful woman in his arms, John knows his feelings for her are so much more than mere infatuation. He cares so deeply for Ashley Williams that the thought of losing her or hurting her is almost unbearable to him. It is a feeling of such close attachment that it simultaneously thrills, terrifies, and emboldens him. Ashley has done more for him than anyone else he has ever met. Has trusted more with him than anyone else he has ever met. Has seen more of his truth self than anyone else period. John doesn't think he's actually deserving of the affection of a woman like Ashley Williams, but for all the darker parts of him she has seen, Ashley has stayed. And John knows he would do everything in his power to make her believe in him the way he believes in her.

Ashley twisted in his arms and leaned up to plant a soft but lasting kiss on his lips. Again, it may have simply been his bias toward her kissing, but to John, Ash was a master at the craft. One kiss could be leaden with desire and passion, setting his body on fire. Then the next would be soft and so profoundly affectionate it felt like he died and gone to heaven. Ashley was currently laying the latter on him now, and John can feel the emotion behind the action. So John did his best to return the favor, to try and will all the feelings he has for her through their sensual connection.

They pull away after a moment, slowly, savoring each other's presence. Ashley rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him with those big soulful brown eyes John can always get lost in. Looking back at her and seeing the sincerity in her gaze, John knows he's not the only one in deep. He knows that for Ashley this is more than some passing fling. She cares for him as deeply as he does her. And while John knows it's not particularly easy for Ash to voice all of her feelings, he understands them all without question.

"Thank you for coming out here," she told him, a small smile played out across her lips.

John smiles back with as much warmth as he can possibly muster. "My place is by your side. I'll go anywhere you go."

He fully realizes just how cheesy that sounded, but Ash seemed not to mind, if her smile growing the least bit bigger meant anything.

Reluctantly, Ash pulled herself out from his embrace and steps a half foot away, though she keeps his left hand entwined with her right. "Well, I don't want to keep you here forever," she told him. "Ready to go?"

John glanced between her and the gravesite, and he furrowed his brow worriedly. "Actually, I was wondering if I could talk with your father for a bit before we go. You know, man to man."

Ash's eyes widened somewhat in mild surprise. She looked from John to the tombstone, then turned back to him with a look of understanding. "Do you want some privacy?" she asked him. John nodded. "Alright, I'll wait in the car. We'll go when you're ready."

After stretching upward to give him one last smooch on the cheek, Ash moved past him and started walking back to the cemetery entrance. John watched her go for a little ways; until she was far enough away that he could really only make out the blue of her uniform.

Taking a deep breath to try keeping his nerves in line, John stepped up to the grave and looked down upon it. It has a simple but meaningful marker for a tombstone; a pearl white cross to denote the deceased man's faith. Even though it has been sitting here for many years, the color has not faded with time. He wonders if either the Williams family or a caretaker has attended to its condition for all these years.

John shifts uneasily on his feet and buries his hands in his pockets in order to keep them from fidgeting. "I, uh, I'm not really sure I believe the dead can actually see us from the beyond like your daughter does. I use to, but… that was a long time ago."

It actually takes an effort to keep his voice under control. Commander John Shepard, the man who consistently faces down politicians, criminals, and terrorists on a bi-daily basis without so much as batting an eye, was reduced to a stammering wreck by a slab of rock.

So, John starts off by talking about what he's familiar with. "I'd like to think you'd be exceptionally proud to have Ashley as a daughter. As a soldier she's one of the smartest, bravest, strongest, and most determined people I've ever worked with. But beyond that she'd also kind, funny, caring. There's no one on the crew she doesn't get along with, and they all can look to her for guidance if they need it. Sure, she doesn't really get along with politicians or people on the other side of her gun, but I can't say I do either."

He chuckles humorlessly to try and mask his nervousness. John glanced from side to side, rubbing the back of his neck, not sure how to proceed.

"But… Ashley is more than that to me. She's more than just a soldier or a friend, or even a lover. Ash has helped me more than I thought anyone possibly could. It's thanks to her I can find the will to keep pushing on, even in the darkest of situations. She's helped me so much in moving past my own demons. To be honest I have no idea what I did to make her fall for me, but not for a single second will I ever complain about it."

He looked down and had to physically swallow, almost choking on the words. "I… I think I love Ashley, and that prospect has me so scared shitless I can't even begin to think of how I would confess that to her."

John huffed out a breath of air, surprised at himself for finally coming to terms with the admission. The idea has been teasing him for some time, but he's never fully fleshed it out until now. Maybe he never fully understood that change in his emotions, or maybe he was just too afraid to come to terms with it. He loves Ashley Williams. Not a single woman John was with before Ashley had ever secured his heart the way she did.

His fists clench at his sides, and John speaks with newfound conviction. "I love her, and I swear I will do everything in my power to prove that. I will always be there when she needs me. Be it to save her from a dire situation, or to help her work through political bullshit trying to hold her back, or even just giving her a shoulder to lean on when she's feeling down. Because I know she'd do the same for me if I ever needed it. I'll never hurt her, and I'll strive every day to prove to her just how amazing a woman she is."

And like a switch being flipped John is calm again. He'd actually been struggling with that revelation for some time before coming to Terra Nova. But now that John has comes to terms with it, he feels at peace. And he feels as though he's better prepared to move forward with his relationship with Ashley.

He chuckles again, this time with some mirth to his voice. "I wish I could have met you, face to face. You and the rest of your family mean the world to Ash. I wish I could have told you all things I'm saying now, to convince you just how much I care for Ash. Thing is, I wish for a lot of things to have turned out differently. But not with Ash. I wouldn't change a single moment I've spent with her."

John took a step back and bowed his head respectfully. "It was an honor to meet you, sir." With that, John turned and walked away, back to the entrance of the cemetery.

This morning he'd been so unbelievably nervous to meet Ashley's family. Now that he's met them, John can't remember what made him so nervous. He's now knows Ashley's family is more than accepting of him, and John is more assured of himself that he can be worthy of that acceptance. A feeling of fluttery elation rises up in his chest, and John thinks he's hasn't felt this good about himself in years.

By the time he finds their car the sun is starting to get low in the sky, casting golden rays over the horizon. Ashley is tapping along to some generic song on the radio, but turns it down when she notices John open the door and get in. "So, good chat?" she asked him hopefully.

John immediately leans over in his seat to pull Ash closer and give her a passionate kiss. She lets out a yelp of surprise at first, but quickly yields to his touch, letting out a soft moan when he brought up a hand to caress her cheek. John still doesn't know how he could possibly tell Ash he loves her, but for now, he can still show her how much he cares for her through his actions.

Eventually their tempo slows and their lips part, though John keeps his forehead rested against Ash's. Both of them sport the largest, stupidest grins they can muster.

"Better than good," he whispered to her.

Ash smirked at him. "Honestly I expected you to make some stupid joke so bad my dad's corpse would pop out of the ground and beat you for it."

John chuckled as he finally pulled back and settled into his seat. "You know, after fighting Geth, rogue Spectres and giant plants, a zombie really wouldn't be all that surprising."

Laughing herself, Ash started up the car and took off. To John she said, "Get Kaidan on the horn and let him know we're on our way."

"Will do." He pulled out his Tool and punched in the lieutenant's contact info. A few moments later the older man picked up, and John was slightly taken by what he saw. Kaidan was smiling wider than John had ever seen him do before, and it looked as though he was actually having fun for once. On the ship John had only ever known Kaidan to be respectful, soft spoken, and the epitome of discipline. Seeing the same man now, relaxed and laughing at some unheard joke, was really throwing him for a loop.

"Shepard!" he greeted in an elated tone of voice John would have never associated with Kaidan. "You guys have to get here. Ash's family is a riot!"

"You guys are having fun?"

"Definitely. Most of the crew showed up, and Ash's sisters invited a lot of their friends too. I even convinced Joker to step out of the ship for once. The shindig we've been having has been pretty fun for everyone. Liara, Wrex, Garrus and Tali have been fitting in pretty well, too."

"Hey Alenko, where's Abby right now?" Ash asked.

John watched him quickly look from side to side. "She's having a few drinks with her friends. Why?"

She leaned over in her seat to give Kaidan a pointed look. "I trust you've noticed how Abby can be when she's around boys she likes?"

Kaidan promptly rolled his eyes. "I get she can be a little flirty. But you don't have anything to worry about chief. She's almost ten years younger than me, and I know better than to piss you off."

"Glad to see where on the same page then," Ash drawled. "Just watch out. Abby's spent years figuring out just what other people want to hear in order to get them in her bed."

The lieutenant placed a hand over his heart. "I promise to be nothing but a gentleman when it comes to your family, Ash."

"I know you will." Ash turned back to her driving. "Let my mom know we'll be there in a few minutes."

"I'll be sure to let her know. We'll see you guys in a-"

"Oh hey!" Abby launched herself into the video frame, latching her arm around Kaidan's neck. He stumbled a bit, but laughed nonetheless. "I thought I heard my sweet sister's voice. Oh, and hi John. You guys on the way?"

Chuckling himself, John answered, "Yes we are. We should be there in in a few minutes."

"Oh no, don't come here yet!" Abby implored. "I scoped out the Special Spot for you guys and made sure it was clear. Ash knows what I'm talking about."

John looked to his girlfriend, and Ash was shaking her head with a grin. "It's something my sisters showed me the last time I was here." To her sister she asked, "Will mom mind if we're going to be late?"

Kaidan waved her concerns off. "You mom is too busy talking with Wrex and coming up with new recipes for Krogan. She won't notice."

Ash thought it over for a moment, chewing on her lower lip. She turned to John. "Do you mind if we make another excursion?"

John shook his head. "I'm intrigued now. I want to know what makes this secret spot so special."

She smirked at him. "You'll find out soon enough then." To Kaidan and Abby she said, "Alright we're gonna go check it out. Try and save some of the fun for us, too."

"No promises," Abby replied with a cheeky grin. Chuckling, Kaidan bid them farewell and closed the connection.

Ashley drove them to the edge of the settlement of Scott. Grant Park was only a park in the sense that it had a set of loosely based borders, the interior of which was patrolled and maintained by city workers. Move barely a mile beyond Grant Park's borders and one found themselves squarely in the wilderness of Terra Nova. The park was in no real danger of being overrun by dangerous wildlife, but it drove the point home that humans were still relatively new on this planet, and it wasn't hard to find evidence of Terra Nova before it was inhabited by humans.

They parked their car in a community parking lot and took out all of the supplies they had brought. However, instead of following the path that led to the more public areas, Ash led John through some of the more overgrown areas on a path less trodden. The plant life was similar to what one found on Earth. Tall trees with green leaves, pointy grass underfoot, and the occasional bush adorned with colorful flowers. Ashley led them up one of the taller hills in the area.

When John's breathing started becoming labored from exertion, he asked, "This is revenge for making you climb up a ladder and walk out on a catwalk blinded, isn't it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ash replied in a sarcastically sweet voice. John chuckled and kept his complaints to himself after that.

Eventually the ground evened out again, and Ash led them to the opposite face of the hill. At one point she stopped and made a show of moving aside a particularly low hanging branch to reveal a new path. Holding the limb back, Ash stepped aside and gestured for John to go first.

Moving past her, John was greeted with a sight that instantly made the innocuous location and trek entirely worth it. They stepped out into a clearing free of trees or bushes. The ground was relatively even footing and there was a lack of tall trees on the hill face leading downward, so anyone standing or sitting in this spot was afforded a brilliant view of the horizon. At this point in time they had an almost perfect view of the sun getting low in the sky.

"Wow," John muttered, in awe of the grandeur he was now looking at it.

"It's really something, isn't it?" Ash asked as she came up to stand beside him. "Not a lot of people know about this spot. It's been a carefully guarded secret between a select circle of lovers and horny teenagers. Abby was brought up here a few years back, and she in turn showed it to me and the rest of my sisters. I used to think having a secret spot like this was pretty lame, but then I found a man I could take up here."

John chuckled as he pulled Ash into a hug. "Well than I feel truly honored to be a part of such a grand secret." Ash giggled, and he gave her a kiss on the cheek before he pulled away. "Now how about we set up here and enjoy the view for a little while?"

Ash gripped their basket of supplies in both hands and gave it a little jostle. "Sounds like a plan to me."

John pulled out the blanket and laid it out on the ground in such a way that he could still sit on it whilst leaning his back against the smooth face of a small boulder in the clearing, which still allowed him to face the view of the horizon while sitting. They both shucked off their boots to avoid getting dirt on the blanket and let their feet have a breather. He parted his legs somewhat so Ash could sit down in his lap and face the same direction while nestling into his embrace. She got out two bottles of water for them from the basket. They were both still too full from her mother's cooking, so they ignored the extra snacks for now. John curled one of his arms around her stomach to puller her closer to him, and Ash in turn hugged his arm with one of hers.

Ash leaned her head back into the crook of his neck, and John nuzzled his cheek into her hair. They couldn't tell how long they laid there; idly sipping at their drinks and watching the sun fall lower in the sky. The area around them was positively silent, save for the occasional bird chirping or insect flying past overhead. John reveled in it all. There he lay, in one of the most romantic spots he had ever seen in person, with the woman he secretly loved wrapped up in his arms. He tried to soak in the blissfulness of the moment and permanently etch it into his memory, so he could always remember this.

"Have I ever told just how lucky I am?" he asked quietly.

Ash shifted a bit to get into a more comfortable position. "You probably have, but I always like hearing it again."

John grinned as he set his water down and curled his arms around her tighter. "It's true. Here I am, sitting with one of the most amazing women I've ever met in my arms. I lead a crew of some of the best friends I've made in years on the most advanced ship in the Alliance Fleet. My girlfriend's family positively adores me, and I feel like she cares about just as much as I do her. And if I forget about Saren and the mission for just a little bit, I realize there's nothing I have to worry about. I must be one lucky guy, because there's nothing else I want."

"You think you're the only one?" Ash asked him. John can't see her face, but he knows her smile is just as big as his right now. "I'm finally serving aboard a ship with the navy, full of people I would have never called friends a few months ago. And not only is my commanding officer one of the best captains in the Alliance, but he's also one of the most amazing men I've ever met. So I must be one lucky girl, because there's nothing else I want either."

John closed his eyes, Ashley's words sending a profound joy racing through his body. He already knew she was happy to be with him, but to hear her saying so made his heart soar.

He kissed the top of her head. "As a couple, we're probably far from perfect. But to me, I'd say we're perfectly imperfect for each other."

Ashley laughed incredulously, and John can feel it reverberating through his chest. "That has to be your worst line yet."

"You know you love it," he teased.

She sighed whimsically. "There must be something wrong with me, because yeah, I do."

John hummed with mirth, and the pair lapsed into content silence again. The sun is lower in the sky now, starting to cast rays of varying reds and oranges over the horizon. For once in his life, John Shepard is utterly at peace. He knows the feeling is only temporary, but for now, he plans on enjoying it for all it's worth.

The sounds starts low at first, and John can't exactly place what he's hearing. It's when he feels Ashley's chest vibrating against him he realizes what's happening, and his eyes shoot wide in surprise. Ash is singing. After a moment he places it as Till There was You, the song he had almost watched her sing on the recording earlier.

_There were bells on the hill_

_But I never heard them ringing,_

_No, I never heard them at all_

_Till there was you._

Her voice is low and unsteady at first, and it's obvious she hasn't done this for some time. But as she sings she regains her confidence, and her voice becomes more purposeful.

_There were birds in the sky_

_But I never saw them winging_

_No, I never saw them at all_

_Till there was you._

John's mouth is agape as he listens to her with rapt attention. Her mother said she was good, but he never expected a woman like Ash to be _this_ good. Her dulcet tones flow through the still air, and the ambient noises from before seemed to quiet in awe of Ashley and her song.

_And there was music,_

_And there were wonderful roses, _

_They tell me,_

_In sweet fragrant meadows of dawn, and dew._

And once again John is reminded of why he loves Ashley Williams. Beneath the façade she liked to play up, the mask she wears to convince others she can stand up to adversity without help, Ashley is still a woman. And John is the only person she trusts enough to let see that side of her. A warm feeling starts out in his chest, spreading out through his gut and limbs to his fingertips and ears. And the pleasant feeling only increases as his love for her increases.

_There was love all around_

_But I never heard it singing_

_No, I never heard it at all_

_Till there was you._

She finished in a low, soft tone, drawing out the last note. After she is done she ducks her head meekly, and John can see a red blush snaking its way up the back of her neck.

Ash reached around to poke him in the shoulder. "You better treasure that, because I'm never doing it again. And if you try telling other people this ever happened, I will deny everything you say, after which I will find you and kick your ass."

John chuckled and kissed the back of her neck, eliciting a shiver from Ash. "I know you would, so consider it a promise." He plants another kiss on the cleft where her chin meets her neck. "Though I will readily admit I suck at dancing if you admit you're an amazing singer."

She glanced back at him with a cheeky grin. "I was never really into girly things as a kid. I preferred pass times like soccer and basketball. And after I joined the military there was never any reason to act all womanly. It just wasn't something I was good at."

John kissed her cheek and lowered his voice several octaves. "To be honest that was why I was so interested in you, to a certain extent. You're so different from any other woman I've known. Though it doesn't hurt to act girly every once in a while."

She gave him a sly look and leaned back into his touch, her own voice huskier. "Is that what you want? For me to act more like a woman?"

"The only person I want you to act like is Ashley Williams. She's the perfect woman for me, and I'd never change her."

"Well I'm glad you like her," Ash answered in a sultry voice. "Because she's not going anywhere."

Ash finally twisted her head around so she could capture John's mouth in her own. Their eyes drifted close as they both moaned into each other, deepening the kiss. Ash turned herself to drape her legs over his lap and allow her a better angle at him. She clutched at his broad chest and shoulders, while he kept her close with one hand holding her legs and the other applying a light but needy pressure to the back of her neck. He ghosted his fingertips along her thigh, and Ash let out a low keen at his touch.

Ash pulled away abruptly, tugging his lower lip with her teeth, and John opened his eyes. What he sees are her big dark brown eyes, hazy with desire and need for him. And at that moment the full realization of where they are hits him.

They're sitting on top of a hill, surrounded by foliage thick enough that no one can possibly see them offhandedly, and everyone watching the fireworks is so far away they can't possibly hear them.

They are completely and utterly alone.

Ashley must have realized this at the same time, because her lips on his again with renewed fervor. She moves again so that she's straddling him, her legs on either side of his lap, and John latches his hands on both of her thighs. Now they're moaning and gyrating against each other with renewed vigor.

She sat up straight long enough to rake her hands through hair and untie it from her usual bun. With a flick of her wrist, Ash's hair cascades down her shoulders, and her hair catches the light in the right way to make it sparkle for him. Before John can pull her back down, Ash attacks his shirt and practically tears it off over his head. He flicked the article of clothing away, not caring where it landed, just as Ash resumed her oral assault on his body. Now she trails burning kisses down his chin and neck as her hands rove over his bare chest and rock hard abs, raking her nails over the sensitive skin.

John groans with need, and he can feel his arousal hardening in his pants. The pleasure being had here is too one sided, so he decided to change that. Quick as a cobra, John shot his hands under the hem of her pants and grabbed two handfuls of her magnificent rear.

Ash's reaction was immediate, as she stiffened against him and did a sharp intake of breath. Then John began to massage her backside with great swirls of his palms through the fabric of her panties, and she melts onto him, letting out a long, drawn out moan of pleasure. Ash still teases him with her nails on his torso, only now it is John raining kisses along her neck.

John removed his hands from her pants, and before Ash can whine from their absence, John gripped her sides and sat up straight, taking her with him. He dug his fingers underneath the hem of her shirt, and Ash eagerly lifted her arms to let him take it off of her. The shirt is quickly tossed to the side and forgotten like the first one, and Ash's ample breasts are now revealed, held back only by a simple black bra. Now John's hands set out massaging her sides and taut stomach. He multitasks by trailing more kisses along her collarbone while Ash mewls and fumbles with the clasp on her back.

A definitive snap sounds through the clearing as the catch to Ash's bra gives way, and she can't cast it aside quickly enough. Once the undergarment is gone, John can't help but lean back and admire the woman in his arms. Her stomach is flat and trim, her arms are muscular but temptingly graceful, and her olive skin glistens alluringly with perspiration. And while John likes to think of himself as a gentleman who has nothing but respect for women, he absolutely loves Ashley's breasts.

A beautifully round, low C cup. Large enough to give a clear view of just how well-endowed Ash is, but not overly large like some porno actresses. They're the perfect size for his hands to knead and play with. And unlike other women, when freed from clothes, Ash's breasts do not droop as badly, retaining a natural level of perkiness that keeps them standing at attention. Her areolas are small and pink, and he can see her nipples are already puckered out from arousal.

Ash made a show of slowly dragging her hands up her body. Starting from her waist, she dragged them up her midriff, then cupped her breasts, causing them to jiggle enticingly when she released them, then up her neck and through her hair. "Like what you see, soldier boy?" she asked him with a lecherous grin.

"Oh fuck yes," was all he managed before he lost control and attacked. Curling an arm around her bare waste to keep her anchored to him, John wasted no time in clamping his lips down on the underside of her left breast, while he used his free hand to cup and massage the right. He kissed his way up her left breast before taking the nipple in between his lips, sucking on it wantonly. His skilled fingers work on her other nipple, pulling it taut and massaging the sensitive flesh surrounding it. Ashley rakes her fingers through his hair, keeping him closer to her chest to spur him on. And all the while she's cooing and moaning like there's no tomorrow. John is filled with smug pride as he watches her face contort with pleasure. Only he can coax noises like this from her, and he makes it his personal mission to drag out as many of Ashley's pleasurable keens as possible.

John changes tactics and detaches his mouth from her breast with a wet pop. He switches arms to hold her, and now John's mouth is on Ash's right nipple, giving it the same treatment as its counterpart. He takes the sensitive bud between his teeth and pulls, causing Ash to hiss with the sweetest pain. As recompense he released the bundle of nerves and lavished it with his tongue.

However, instead of using his free hand to work on her other breast like before, John works his arm underneath the waistband of her pants to find her womanhood. As she feels John touch her most sacred area, Ash reels her head back and lets out a long, low pitched groan of need from the back of her throat. She grips his shoulders now, digging her nails into his skin, unable to withstand the multiple points of stimulation.

He can feel just how wet she is already through the cotton fabric of her panties. John uses two fingers to trace her out lips and lightly poke into her entrance, and Ash writhes against his touch, bucking her hips to capture more of his wonderful hand. He retracted his hand somewhat to focus on the hood of flesh concealing her most sensitive body part. Her clitoris is already filled with blood and aching to be touched, so John drags the tip of his middle finger around it in a quick circular motion to stimulate the area around it. At the same time John is repeating the motion with the tip of his tongue around her nipple. Ash is breathing heavy now, her eyes screwed shut with agonizing bliss, and John can tell she's getting close.

Just as he flicked his nail over the tip of her button, eliciting a sharp gasp from Ashley, John feels two palms on his chest push him back. He lands back against the rock as the wind is knocked out of him, and the look Ashley gives him causes all of his movements to still. Her dark eyes are swimming with unbridled lust, and she gives him her sexiest smirk yet.

"You're not finishing me off that quickly," she tells him in a husky whisper.

Agonizingly slowly, Ashley gripped his arm currently down her pants and pulled it out. She takes a hold of his hand and brings it up for them both to see. The evidence of her desire is clear to view, her secretions coating his pointer and middle fingers.

Ash brings the hand to her mouths and encases the two fingers in her lips, and John seriously forgets how to breath. She sucks on the digits wantonly, giving him her most drop dead stare, and he can feel her tongue swirling around them to wipe away all of the fluid on them. It is quite literally the hottest thing she has ever done for him, and his erection twitches in his pants, its own mind dominated with the desire of needing to feel her.

She puckered her lips and dragged the fingers out slowly, letting out a content "Ah," once they were free. John can't stand it any longer and loops his free hand around her neck to pull her into another passionate kiss. He moans as he can not only taste her mouth, but the evidence of her desire for him. At the same time their chests are mashed together, and John can feel her nipples graze along his chest. It fuels the fire already racing through his body, traveling straight down to his groin and making his cock twitch painfully in their confinement.

Ash smirks into the kiss and twerks her hips slowly against his, lightly teasing his clothed erection with her rear. John groans with desire, needing to feel more of her. Ash finally relents, stopping her movements and pulling away from his mouth. He tries to follow her, but she keeps him held in place with her hands on his shoulders, barring him against the smooth rock while she starts to kiss her way down his chin and neck.

She removed her hands to take them elsewhere, but the look Ash gives him as she worships his body with her magnificent lips keeps John pinned in place. She trails her kisses lower now, over his well-defined chest and paying special attention to his chiseled abs. It's when she's gotten to his waist John realizes her hands have undone his belt and pants zipper. Giving him a beautifully evil look, Ash gripped the waistbands of both his pants and undershorts and tugged them downward.

She pulled them down to his upper thighs, and his cock was finally allowed to spring free, standing tall in all of its glory. John winced slightly as the heat of his blood flowing through his penis was assaulted by the cool evening air. Ashley's eyes lit up when it came free. "There he is," she muttered adoringly as she gripped the base and gave the shaft a few experimental strokes.

John's eyes drifted closed, and he let out a hiss of air to muffle an overly loud needy moan from coming up. Ashley's hand felt amazing as she worked over his shaft, applying just enough pressure to drive him wild. He gasped as he felt Ashley's hot, wet tongue connect with the base of his cock. He opened his eyes to watch her drag her talented tongue up the length of his shaft, tantalizingly slow, up until she reached the flared tip of his head. She gave him a saucy wink and kissed the head affectionately as she began stroking his rod again.

"Ash," he begged, his voice thick with desire. "Please."

Ashley leered at him, and answered in a voice equally thick with want. "Only because you asked so nicely."

And with that, Ashley enveloped the head of his cock in her mouth. John threw his head back and groaned without restraint as Ashley worked more of his prick into her mouth, lavishing the underside with her tongue. It so warm and so wet John feels as though he's positively going to melt. What Ashley cannot take she continues to stroke and massage with her hand. John grips the blanket on either side of him, scrunching up the fabric, trying to keep his breathing under control.

He looked down again when he heard the rustling of clothes. He watches enraptured as Ash shimmies her pants off her waist and down her thighs, all the while giving him a deceptively innocent look as her head bobs up and down. Ash also set about fully removing John's pants from his legs. She kicked the pants away, and now the only scrap of clothing left between them is the black panties Ash wears. As she settles herself onto her knees again, Ash angled her back in such a way to give John a magnificent view of her rear. Her black panties did little to cover the magnificent flesh, but what it did hide served only to entice John even more.

It was all too much. As a man who wasn't exactly 'stacked' John prided himself on his stamina in the bedroom. But Ash was doing her damnedest to erode that fortitude away. Her mouth, her hand, and the alluring view she gave him were all driving him wild, and John had to physically will himself from passing over the threshold into orgasmic bliss. He needed to give Ash the same level of pleasure she was giving him, but more powerful was his desire to be inside of her quim when he did so.

"Ash," he choked out, the strain of staving off the brink almost painful. "Not… yet…"

And all of a sudden, the sensations stopped. Ash drew her hand away from his cock, and her mouth popped off the tip with a wet slurp. Ash gave him a sexy smirk as she sat up straight again, wiping away some loose spittle from the corner of her mouth. John began to breathe easy again as he came down from his high.

Ash let out an airy chuckle as she roved her hands down the sides of her naked body. "Don't you worry, John, I wouldn't take you out of the game yet. But we don't have a lot of time for foreplay, so I need you good and _wet._"

Holy fucking Christ he loved it when she talked dirty.

John shot back up and coiled his arms around her slim waist to pull her closer to him. Ash giggled, hugging his neck and eagerly latching her lips to his once more. The fact John can taste himself in addition to Ash on her tongue serves to excite him more. He pulled her onto his lap, and Ash rocks her bum against him, teasing his cock against her clothed entrance.

John growled, tired of all the teasing and waiting they've subjected each other to. Taking matters into his own hands (literally), John grabbed at the waistband of her panties and yanked them down her legs. Ash eagerly complied, reaching around to pull the underwear off and kick them away. John's hand dove back down to the valley between her legs, using a single finger to push past her outer lips, red and puffy with arousal. Ash moans into his mouth once more, and he can feel how slick her inner walls are. That, combined with the saliva on his cock from her oral treatment, and he knows she's ready to take him.

They broke the seal of their mouths, and John removed his hand from her core to grip her thighs. As Ash rose up on her knees, she placed her hands on his shoulders, and they looked into each other's eyes. In Ashley's brown depths John can see her lust and desire, but he can also see her trust, and the unbridled affection she has for him. John can talk forever about Ashley's breasts or her ass, but to him, her eyes are her most beautiful feature.

He gave her a silent nod to let her know her was ready. Ashley tentatively grabbed his shaft and lowered her body down, lining up the head with her leaking entrance. As the tip started to push past her outer lips, both of their eyes drifted closed. Her mouth may have been hot, but Ash's pussy set him on fire. Ash let out a high pitched moan as the head finally found purchase and made its way inside. She let gravity take over, sinking down on the shaft inch by inch. Both of them held their breath as Ash continued to lower herself down onto him.

A moment later Ashley's hips made contact with John's lap. She had as much of him lodged inside of her as possible. John was breathing heavy again, and he fought the urge to come right then and there.

"You're so tight," he gasped out. Her inner walls had a vice like grip on him, constantly flexing and massaging his penis. Her love canal was incredibly hot and slick with her juices, which only added to the pleasure John was feeling.

The effect was doubly so for Ashley, judging by the way her chest rose up and down with her heaving breaths. "It's been two years since I last got laid, remember? I haven't had a chance to get stretched out since then."

John's eyes widened as her words registered in his lust addled brain. "You mean I… we… not since…?"

Ash gripped the side of his face and leaned in close, until he could feel her hot breath ghost along his chin. "No one but you," she whispered before sealing his lips with her own.

Dear lord he loved this woman.

Ash carefully moved her hips as they made out. Back and forth, side to side, she rolled her hips in a circular motion that dragged her walls all around his cock. It felt good, but John wanted more. He wanted to take this woman with as much force as they could handle. They'd waited two years for this; now wasn't the time to be gentle.

John tightened his grip on her thighs and picked Ash up so that she rose a few inches on his rod. Just as suddenly he loosened his grip and let Ash fall back. Now she lets out an unholy wail of pleasure as his cock pushed into her womanhood. Needing no other encouragement, Ash took the lead in raising herself on her knees and plunging back down.

They began slowly, but both soldiers are already nearing their breaking points, and soon all semblance of rhythm is forgotten. John moved his hands to her waist to anchor himself as he started thrusting upward to meet her downward falls. The clearing is now filled with a cacophony of the sounds of sex, from flesh slapping against each other in tangent with their thrusts, to unintelligible grunts and groans.

John watches Ash, mesmerized as she rides him. Her eyes are shut tight and her mouth is slacked from pleasure. Her breasts bounce with each thrust and the muscles in torso stomach are drawn tight with effort. A fresh batch of her love juice seeps onto his midriff with each downward thrust. To him she is a goddess of sex and love, his Aphrodite, and there is nothing more beautiful than her.

Ashley is riding him harder now, driving John into the ground with the force of her thrusts. He can already tell he's going to be sore tomorrow, but not for a second will he ever regret it.

She dug her nails into his shoulder and threw her head back as she moaned with delight. John can barely control his breathing, and he can feel himself starting to slip into the void of orgasmic pleasure. He can tell she's not far off either with the way her pussy squeezes him even tighter than before.

"John," she panted, her voice strained with staving off her orgasm. "I'm… I'm… uh… oh fuck…"

John shot his body up again to wrap his arms around Ash and pull her into a searing kiss, and Ash was undone. She slapped down against him one last time, and her walls spasmed around him, undulating and gripping him with even more force. Her fluids doused his stomach as they flowed freely from her canal as the orgasm ripped through her body. Ash threw her head back and screamed in ecstasy as the pleasure overtook her.

John couldn't hold back anymore. His cock was already over stimulated, and the feeling of Ash coming around him sends him past the point of no return. He grit his teeth and let out an animalistic grunt as he exploded inside of her, shooting his load into her womb. Ash gasped as she felt his warm cum splash inside of her, releasing another pulse of wetness as he prolonged her orgasm.

They clutched at each other as they rode out their orgasms. John thrust weakly into her a few more times, until the entirety of his load was spent. They fell back onto the blanket, with John holding Ashley against his chest. They laid there for some time as they came down from their highs and their bodies cooled down.

Ash gingerly picked her drained body up to pull his flaccid member out of her now thoroughly abused womanhood, and she scooted up his body to lock their lips once more. John responded eagerly, massaging her bare back and holding her close to him. He was completely drained and probably wouldn't be able to move for some time, but he still loved the feeling of her body against his.

After a moment she rested her head in the crook of his neck. She hugged his chest and entwined her legs with his, nestling their bodies as close together as they possibly could.

She chuckled weakly. "I'm pretty sure you've ruined me for all other men."

John laughed. Of course after one of the most intense fuck sessions either of them has had in years, the first thing to come out of her mouth would be a snappy remark.

"Well that's all just part of the plan," he teased back.

She very lightly swatted his cheek. "Don't push your luck. You might be a good lay, but I haven't decided if I like you yet."

John chuckled warmly as he nuzzled her hair, breathing in her scent. "Don't you start playing coy now. I know just how badly you've fallen for me."

Ash turned her head to face him, and John was surprised by the sincerity in her gaze. "Actually, the truth is… I have fallen for you."

His breath caught in his throat. She didn't say she loved him, not exactly, but quite frankly she admitted the feelings she has for him are just the next step down. The warm, fuzzy feeling returned to his chest as he internally debated with himself.

_I love you,_ he wanted to tell her. He wanted to say he loved her so badly it hurt. But… now was not the time. He doesn't know how much time this mission will allow them to pursue how they feel about each other. But John does know he can't risk scaring Ash away now. They can't rush into this thing. They have to let it take its course.

So, John smiles at her with as much compassion as he can and says, "And I've fallen for you too."

Ash's beautiful brown eyes sparkle with happiness and she smiles back with a wide grin. She hugged him tighter as she leaned closer to kiss him once more, their eyes drifting close. John isn't prepared to truly reveal his feelings for her just yet. But he'll continue to love her with all of his heart until he is ready.

* * *

><p>By the time enough feeling returned to their limbs and they put their clothes back on, the sun was just beginning to slip beneath the horizon. Working quickly they made themselves presentable again, threw what supplies they had back into their basket, and made their way back down the hill. He even convinced her to keep her hair down for one night.<p>

It was starting to get dark when they made it to the public area. Not surprisingly it was packed with families and social groups. Most were people John didn't recognize, but he spotted a cluster of blue Alliance uniforms off to the one side. A good portion of the crew had showed up for fireworks.

Chakwas and Ashley's mother were chatting in the way older women usually did. Lynn and Joker were sitting in lawn chairs and laughing together, likely swapping stories to tease Ash with. On a nearby picnic table Garrus was in the midst of an arm wrestling match with a beefy young man, and it seemed the cheering around them was split between the two contenders. Kaidan was using some beer cans and his biotics to entertain some of the crew, Abby, and some young people John assumes to be Abby's friends. Abby caught John's eye and winked at him, grinning mischievously as she likely knew what took them so long to make it to the party. Tali is nowhere in sight, but he remembered she was probably still helping to get the fireworks ready.

Wrex had to be the most comical sight of all. He had about a dozen and a half kids either sitting around him, sitting on his lap, or hanging off of his hump and shoulders. All of them were listening with rapt attention as he described the time he fought a Thresher Maw for his Rite of passage, thankfully leaving out most of the gorier details. A number of parents stand nearby regarding Wrex with caution, but no one seems too perturbed to have a Krogan telling stories to their kids.

John and Ashley sat down on a polished tree log, next to Sarah and Liara, who were chatting quite excitedly. As they sat down, Liara turned to Ash, and John noted how happy and unreserved Liara's features looked for once.

"You finally made it!" the Asari greeted in a chipper tone. "Ashley, you did not tell me your sister studied xenolinguistics. Talking with her has been such a joy."

"It's about time you two showed up," Sarah told them. It sounded like Sarah, but it was off. Her voice had a more flowing undertone, and her lips did not match the movements needed to sound out the words he thought he was hearing.

"What's wrong with your voice, Sarah?" Ashley asked bluntly.

"She is speaking Thessian," Liara supplied. "And I must say she is quite good at it. I feel as though I'm speaking to another Asari."

"She not bad at Turian either," a flanging voice said. Garrus came to stand beside them, looking smugly proud of himself as he flexed his arm. Behind him the beefy young man sat nursing his beer, glaring at the Turian's back and likely going over how he possibly could have lost.

"The whole dual tone thing isn't something that can be easily copied," he continued. "But she does alright."

Sarah folded her hands in her lap, trying to fight the large grin and red blush on her cheeks. "It's really not all that hard once you've got the basics down."

"Oh don't be so modest," Ash admonished as she looped an arm around her youngest sister's shoulders. "But don't worry. They'll beat the modesty out of you in basic."

Sarah chuckled uneasily, like she was actually trying to decide if Ash was being serious or not. "Wait… really?"

They all laughed at the young girl's naivety. She'd learn soon enough. It was then a familiar purple suited Quarian came up to them.

"Alright, the fireworks are ready!" Tali announced. "They should be starting in a few minutes."

"Then it sounds like we all better find some seats," Garrus stated. He started looking around. "Now I could have sworn I brought a chair…"

"Garrus!" A pretty young woman with red hair and brown eyes came up on his right and looped their arms together. "Do you wanna come sit with me?"

"No!" said another girl, this one blonde and blue eyed, as she looped his left arm with her right. "Come sit with me, Garrus."

The Turian looked momentarily stunned by the two beauties latched onto his arms, but he quickly recovered and flexed his mandibles in a smug grin. "Ladies, please, there's enough of Garrus Vakarian to go around."

Looking high and mighty, Garrus walked away with his entourage, leaving the rest of them in stunned silence. Tali in particular stared after them, her fingers twitching slightly like she wanted to crush something.

John scoffed. "I have to bust my ass just to make one woman notice me, and that man can have women drooling all over him without so much as trying." That earned him a malign glare from Ash, but he only laughed it off and bumped their shoulders together.

"Well, Garrus is rather attractive for a Turian male," Liara stated matter of factly. They all turned to her with quizzical stares. "What? You've never noticed before?"

"I bet Tali's noticed," Ashley teased, nodding at the Quarian.

It looked as though Tali hadn't even registered the comment, still glaring at the direction Garrus went off in.

"Uh, Tali?" John tried, louder this time.

"What?" she asked, whipping her head back to them. "Oh right, fireworks. Yes, um, comfortable seats would be best." To John and Ashley she said, "And look out for the surprise Garrus and I came up with. I think you'll really appreciate it."

They got up from the log and walked back to their main group. Sarah went to get some things from Mrs. Williams, and she came back with four chairs. One for her, one for Liara, one for Tali, and one for…

John turned his back ion the chair to question Sarah. "Uh, isn't your sister going to need a chair too?"

And before he realized what was happening, a hand on his chest pushed John back and forced him to fall into the chair. Before he could protest, Ash was already sitting down on his lap, laying her back against his chest.

She looked back at him with a playful grin. "This bother you at all, Skipper?"

John chuckled nervously, and some of the servicemen around them let out hoots and catcalls for the two marines. He knows he and Ash shouldn't be this obvious in public, but with a beautiful woman sitting in his lap, John finds his inhibitions are significantly lower.

Ignoring some of the peculiar stares around them, like Liara's, John circled his arms around Ash's waist, pulling her closer to him. "No," he whispered to her. "No it does not."

Ash let out a content sigh and leaned her head against his shoulder just as the first few fireworks started rocketing into the air. Most of them are rather simple, with some streamers or fizzling ones here and there. But firework shows are always amazing to John, and considering the little amount of time spared to plan this, the spectacle really is quite something.

The crowd lets out an 'ooh' or an 'aah' whenever there's particularly big explosion or a fancy series of smaller ones. Looking around, John can see the rest of his crew are enjoying this as well. The Alliance crewmen have pride in their eyes, Tali and Liara watch the sky with wonderment, Garrus seems to have a healthy appreciation for the pyrotechnics display, and even Wrex watched the spectacle with a smile, a nostalgic look in his eyes.

John and Ash snuggle closer to one another, content to simply sit back and enjoy themselves. They needed a day like today. A day where they could stop, relax, and take stock of where they are. Not just as soldiers, but as a couple. John hopes they have more days like this in the future.

Soon enough the finale came, a barrage of different fireworks varying in size, color, and sound all going off at once, bathing the darkness of the park in artificial light and threatening to pop one's eardrums. There's applause when the last few sparklers start to die down. But just as everyone is about to start getting up to pack and leave, they all hear the thumps of five more fireworks being shot.

A multitude of eyes traveled to the sky as two blue streamers ignited some distance away from each other, then continued to streak upward at an angle so that by the time they fizzled out they were almost crossing paths. Before the twin streaks of blue could fade, there were three more explosions inside of the arch. Each firework detonated into a blue star.

John laughed incredulously. Up in the sky is none other than the symbol of the Alliance flag. Around him his fellow servicemen, both active and retired, let out whistles and cheers. Now the applause is thunderous as the fireworks play upon the patriotism of the citizens of the Systems Alliance.

After that the fireworks are truly done, and everyone begins packing up and leaving. John works on corralling the _Normandy_ crew and the Williams family together. He stopped to talk to Garrus when the Turian walked up.

"So was that your idea?"

"Oh no, I actually wanted to put the Hierarchy symbol up in the sky and mess with you all, but Tali stopped me. Said we need something simpler, so we went with your flag instead."

"Well I'm glad someone was the voice of reason," he joked. John took a quick headcount of everyone there. "Are we missing somebody?"

Joker hobbled over on his crutches. "Yeah, Alenko's missing."

"That's weird," Ashley stated as she came up on John's left. "We can't find Abby either."

Joker snickered. "I'll give the lieutenant credit; he works fast."

Ash glared at the pilot. "Shut up Joker. I bet Abby got some dirt on her pretty little dress and Kaidan's helping her wash it off. Or something."

"I'll get to the bottom of it," John announced as he pulled out his Tool and contacted Kaidan. The video connected after a moment, but they didn't see Kaidan's face. Instead they were greeted with a dark screen and what may have been some fabric. They could hear the sound of rustling sheets, and what sounded like grunting and panting.

John put the pieces together when a voice that was distinctly Abby's moaned, "Oh, _Kaidan._"

Icy dread filled John's chest. Even Joker and Garrus looked the least bit worried. They slowly looked over to Ashley to see her reaction.

The oldest sister is now scowling, and her eyes burn with a fiery rage John is not accustomed to. He genuinely fears for Kaidan's life at this moment. Ash roughly pushed past him and stomped toward the entrance of the park, and surrounding families seem aware enough to move out of her way.

"**Alenko!"** she screeched at a volume of voice he hadn't entirely thought possible for her.

Kaidan must have heard her, because on the other end of the connection all movement stopped and John heard the lieutenant mutter, "Oh shit."

"**I am going to **_**fucking**_** kill you!"**

* * *

><p>John stepped into his cabin, flicked on the light, and promptly plopped down into his desk chair. It was only a little after ten in Scott, but his shipboard chronometer read it was almost one in the morning. Right now everyone on the ship was turning in and going to bed. They shipped out early in the morning tomorrow, and John needed everyone to be well rested and prepared for takeoff.<p>

He thought about offering to let Ash sleep with him in his cabin again, but this wasn't like last time where it was the middle of the night. Someone would notice if Ash didn't go to sleep in the normal crew quarters. They had to at least try and keep up a semblance of formality and professionalism. Besides, all the personal time they spent together today should keep them satiated for the next few days.

John thought back over the day's events with a smile. It was a roller coaster of emotions for him, but he wouldn't have traded away a second of it. From the serious talk he had with Ashley's mother, to the dinner spent with her whole family, to the wonderful, passionate time alone they had on top of the hill, to the fireworks they shared at the end of the night. Hell, even watching Ash go ballistic on Kaidan was pretty funny.

_Hey Alenko,_ she'd said to him, _why don't you let you dick control your biotics? Obviously the brain in its head is a lot stronger than yours!_

John laughed at the memory. Still, good on Kaidan for letting go for one day and enjoying his time off.

John wanted all of that, a long time ago. Before the _Normandy_, before Akuze, even before N training, John had wanted a family of his own. He wanted a wife who loved him, and kids who'd always be happy to see him when he came home. A long time ago Shepard was happy being a simple soldier, with the promise that one day he'd be allowed to retire, live off of Alliance benefits and live the life he wanted.

But a lot of things happened. A lot of things changed, both for John himself and the galaxy around him. For a long time he abandoned the idea of married life, thinking no woman ever deserved to be stuck with a man as broken as him. For a while it looked as though his military career would be life sentence, rather than just a chapter in his life.

Then he met Ashley, and all of a sudden John began to hope again. Hope that one day he'd be allowed to stop fighting and live a life outside of bloodshed and sacrifice. Hope that he could settle down with Ashley and see what a relationship without restraint would be like with her.

But most of all it, it gave John hope that he could have a family one day. He'd always wanted what the Williams have. Sisters or brothers who scold and tease you, but still love you unconditionally at the end of the day. Parents who only ever wanted you to be happy, not imposing what they think will make you happy. A home where you could actually feel like you belong.

He wanted that with Ashley. Sure, right now he couldn't even tell her he loved her without choking on the words. But maybe years from now, if they're still together and their feelings haven't waned with time, he wants to ask her about, and he hopes she'll agree.

But in wanting all of this, John feels hypocritical. He used to have a family, one where he had parents he loved. Parents who loved him more than they loved each other. But then his father passed, and no matter how hard they tried to fill the gap, John and his mother grew away from each other year after year. It was only exacerbated when he joined the military, and even more so after Akuze. They haven't spoken in years. He doubts his mother knows about Ash.

He's never been able to do away with the guilt of distancing himself from his mother. He never wanted it to turn out this way, but so much came in between the two of them.

John knows he wants to have a life with Ashley, but he also knows they're in no position to start building a family. But right now, John can start repairing one.

He fired up his private terminal and requested a correspondence with the _SSV Kilimanjaro._ The yeoman who answered seemed hesitant to patch Shepard in with the ship's CO, but John used his status as both an N7 and a Spectre to lie and say it was of the utmost priority.

After the yeoman patched him through, the video screen changed pictures to a face he still recognized even though he hadn't actually seen it in years. Her dark brown, almost black, hair was as perfect as ever, prim and tied up in a bun like Ashley's. Her skin was pale, and somewhat wrinkled as she aged in her years. Her features were hard, disciplined, but still beautiful in a regal way. But her eyes hadn't changed one bit. They were the same sharp, dark blue eyes he saw whenever he looked in a mirror. They were the only pair of eyes that could always see through his masks and half-truths.

The woman answered in the proper way. "This is Captain Han…" But she trailed off and her eyes widened as she recognized who was contacting her.

"Johnny," she said in a bare whisper, like she'd made contact with some long forgotten ghost.

John gave her a small smile he hoped looked genuine. "Hi, mom."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Was that ending sweet enough for you? Because if I layered on anymore fluff I probably would have given myself diabetes writing this thing. <em>

_As you can most likely tell, Down and Dirty won the reader poll. At first it was pretty neck and neck between that and Tasteful, but eventually Down and Dirty pulled ahead and won with 17 votes to 8. The general consensus in the comments agreed that while Tasteful is better from a literary perspective, two soldiers like John and Ash who haven't gotten laid in two years likely wouldn't care about being patient and conservative with their lovemaking. However, a good number of people still supported Tasteful, so I tried accommodating them as well while writing the love scene. Erotic, rather than pornographic._

_All that being said, turns out writing smut isn't as easy as I originally thought it would be. I wrote the scene out over three days as my schedule allowed, and even then I had to continually step away from the computer and… cool down, so to speak. All I can really say is not to expect love scenes being a common occurrence as the story progresses. _

_And once again, I would like to thank everyone who has favorited, followed, and/or reviewed for Soldiers! It's seriously all the support I get from you all that motivates me to keep writing. _


	14. Chapter 14 - Orphaned

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Chapter 14 – Orphaned

* * *

><p>Steaming mug in hand, Ashley entered into the med bay, nodded a greeting to Chakwas, and walked over to Liara's room. She found the Asari huddled into herself with an Alliance issued blanket fit snug around her slight frame. Liara sat in her chair, her legs pulled up against her chest, bathed in the orange light of her terminal.<p>

Liara spared a glance behind her when she heard the door open, but turned back when she saw who it was. "Oh, hello Ashley," she greeted forlornly.

"Hey, Liara," Ash said neutrally. She knew she was treading on thin ice right now. She moved further into the room to stand behind Liara and look over her shoulder. Normally whenever she visited the Asari, all Ash saw on the computer screen were mountains of gibberish about the Protheans. Now it looked as though Liara was perusing through old pictures of buildings and landscapes Ash didn't recognize. The architecture was Asari in nature, that much she could tell.

Liara herself looked… lost. Her expression was blank, and her normally bright blue eyes were dimmed and faraway. Ash has seen her look happy, sad, surprised, and even mildly irritated. But never has she seen Liara look so detached from the world around her. It's a side of her friend she's not so sure she's comfortable with.

"I heard Noveria was pretty cold," Ash said, trying to keep an upbeat inflection to her voice. "I just wanted to come by and check on you, make sure you're keeping warm."

"I am fine," Liara answered dispassionately. "You need not bother yourself with my wellbeing. Perhaps your efforts would be better suited to looking after Officer Vakarian and Shepard. They were on the mission as well."

"Well thing is I've already checked up on them. Now you're the only one I haven't seen yet today."

Turians on average had a much higher body temperature than humans, so Garrus had been fine when the ground team came back the Normandy. A little shaken up, but fine. Shepard, as per usual, was more worried about Liara's sake than his own wellbeing. He'd been limping from a bullet that impacted his shin, and his core body temperature had been just a few degrees short of what was considered within an acceptable range. Chakwas confined him to bed rest for the next few days, and Ashley convinced him to actually heed the doctor's orders for once. She'd even helped Shepard to get his body temperature back up through rather… physical means. Involving his bed. And a lack of clothes.

Shepard had still been worried though, after what happened with the mission. For all of his strengths, Shepard still had a hard time abating his guilt over outcomes that weren't really his fault. It was only magnified by the fact this outcome had to do with Liara, a girl that was both his responsibility and his friend.

Ash only just barely convinced him to stay in his room and rest up while she went to check on Liara. He needed his rest, and Liara needed a friend. Not that Shepard wasn't her friend, but it was entirely possible he was the reason for Liara's dispassionate mood at the moment.

Liara finally looked back at Ash with a scathing look. "I am not so mentally unsound that I cannot be trusted by myself. There is nothing you need do for me, so if you please, just leave me alone."

"Well, yeah, there's nothing I _need_ to do for you. But I wanted to." Ashley stepped closer to lean her hip against the desk, closer to Liara. The Asari seemed annoyed that Ash would invade her personal space, but made no move to stop her. Ashley lowered the tone of her voice. "Look, we're still friends, right?"

Liara's features softened. "Of course we are. That much has not changed."

"Then as your friend I came here to give you this."

Ashley pressed the mug of hot liquid forward in offering. Liara eyed it warily, but accepted the mug into her slender blue fingers.

She took a cautious wif of the aroma. "It smells nice. What is it?"

"Hot cocoa," Ashley told her with pride. "A human favorite."

Liara furrowed her brow at the human. "My translator just said hot chocolate. In what way is a mug of boiling, melted chocolate an appetizing or health conscience beverage?"

Ash rolled her eyes. "It's chocolate extract mixed with some preservatives, sugar, and milk. Moms have been giving their kids hot cocoa on cold winter days for centuries."

She still looked skeptical, but Liara brought the mug to her lips and took a small sip. Her eyes closed and her muscles relaxed as the liquid ran over her tongue. "Oh sweet Goddess that is good," she moaned.

"I told you you'd like it," Ash said with a grin.

Liara gave her a tepid smile of her own. "And I was wrong to doubt you. Thank you, Ashley."

"No prob." Ash pushed herself off of the desk. Liara watched her as she crossed the small room and sat down on her cot. Ash patted the spot next to her, giving Liara an expectant look. Sighing, Liara relented and stood up from her chair, one hand holding onto the cocoa while the other kept the blanket wrapped around her.

Ash gave her a hesitant smile as she sat down. "Look, I know talking about this really isn't easy. But I'm here to listen if you'll let me. We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to."

Liara nodded as she settled her mug onto her lap. "I am sorry for being short with you before. I have not felt quite like myself ever since we came back from Peak Fifteen."

"I heard it was a wild ride down there. Heh, you should have heard how much Wrex started bitching when we found out there were Rachni. I swear it's the only time I've ever seen a Krogan pout."

"I would have gladly offered my spot to him had I known there would be Rachni. As enemies they were quite difficult to overcome."

"I'll take your word for it. Though I heard you met one that wasn't so hostile."

Liara nodded solemnly. "The Queen, yes. We spoke to her, and she seemed genuinely sorrowful at how her children were used to kill innocents."

"I still can't wrap my head around talking to a giant bug that was supposed to be extinct. Though after talking with a giant plant too, I'm starting to think we should stop being surprised by weird stuff."

"As good advice as any." Liara stared off into space, a whimsical look to her eyes. "You should have been there, Ashley. The Rachni are more alien than any species we have ever met. But the Queen was such a magnificent sight. And the songs they use to communicate are… rather beautiful, in their own way."

She ducked her head, turning to Ash and speaking in a quiet voice. "Do you think we were right to let her go?"

Ash sighed as she leaned forward, raking a hand through her hair. "The cynic in me says no. The Rachni nearly wiped out the galaxy hundreds of years ago. I don't even want to imagine the kind of damage they could inflict if the Queen set up shop in a human city like London or Tokyo."

She leaned her elbows on her knees and gave Liara a sincere look. "But the idealist in me trusts Shepard implicitly. I know he'd never let the Rachni go if he thought there was so much as an inkling that she might go back on her word. So as much as I may not like the idea of the Rachni making a new home somewhere out in the galaxy, I say better that it's living its own life now, rather than being controlled by people who only want to exploit it."

Liara took a hard set to her gaze. "To manipulate someone is wrong in its own right. But to make someone act against their own will, to destroy who they once were and twist them into something worse…" Liara's hands tightened around the mug, sparks of biotic energy jumping between her fingers. "It is unforgivable."

It was when a crack started to form in the mug's side Ashley decided to act. "Okay, we should probably put this down now," she said as she pried the mug away from Liara's hands.

The Asari seemed not to notice, still glaring at an unspecified spot on the far wall. "I hate him," she said with a level of venom Ash had never heard her use before. "Before he was simply Saren Aterius, the enemy. The man who worked against our cause. But now?"

Liara turned to her, and it scared Ash just how much unbridled rage she saw in the depths of Liara's usually serene blue eyes. "Now I _hate_ him. I want nothing more than to break all of his bones. To drain the life from his body until it is a dried up husk. I want to make him feel the pain he caused me and my mother. I want… I want…"

By now Liara was breathing heavy with emotion and a few tears had escaped the corners of her eyes. "Hey, it's alright," Ash consoled as she scooted closer and placed her hands comfortingly on Liara's shoulders. "We're going to find Saren, and we're going to make him pay for everything he's done. But right now we can't have you going off the handle, foaming at the mouth for revenge."

Liara took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. "It's not fair," she sobbed. "My mother was far from perfect. She could be so uncaring and strict at times. But… she always loved me. Even when I acted like a horrible daughter she still loved me. And she was the only person I ever loved."

"You weren't a horrible daughter," Ashley reassured. "Parents and their kids are supposed to get on each other's nerves at least sometimes." Liara remained silent, opting instead to rest her head on Ash's shoulder.

Ash stayed quiet for a moment, unsure of what to do. Back when her father died it was her mother who supported Ash and her sisters. Ash was still too young to properly deal with death. How can she possibly help her friend deal with it now?

"Tell me about her," she quietly asked, rubbing Liara's arm in what she hoped was a soothing way.

Liara was breathing easier again as she began talking. "She was the most brilliant person I ever knew. Of all the Matriarchs who had a say in our government, she was always the smartest. Her words would always make people stop and listen. She only ever had the purest intention to help the Asari as a whole.

"But she was more than that. She could be profoundly kind, and she always stood up for those she believed to be in the right. And she was exceptionally beautiful. That may simply be the bias of being her daughter, but it is not one I will ever correct. To me, and many others, she was the most beautiful person in the galaxy."

She chuckled quietly, followed by a short sniffle. "She loved to wear the color yellow. Most Asari think of yellow as lower class and tasteless, but she wore it with pride, becoming a shining star one could always look to for guidance. I remember she liked eating the berries I grew in our garden. She said nothing she had bought in the local markets could match the flavor I created." She hummed thoughtfully. "I think I used sunflowers from nearby fields as fertilizer. She must have known my secret, but she never said anything."

Ashley listened for a while longer, a small smile on her face as Liara recounted events from her childhood. Benezia had meant the world to Liara, the same way her father had meant the world to Ash. It must break Liara's heart to know her mother and only parent was now dead.

Liara talked for a little longer, and then lapsed into silence. She was noticeably less tense, but Ash could feel the sadness emanating off of her.

"I'm sorry about what happened," she told her quietly. "I wish it could have turned out differently. But… I'm sorry your mom died."

Liara shook her head. "I choose to believe she died long ago, before we ever knew about Saren. What we saw on Noveria were just… remnants of a lost person, come back to try and make amends."

Ash gave her shoulder a caring squeeze. "I'd say she accomplished that. If it weren't for how strong your mom was, we wouldn't have any idea about the Mu Relay." Liara nodded in agreement, but chose not to say anything. Ash looked away for a moment, not sure how to approach what she wanted to talk about next. "Look, Shepard told me… he was the one who shot her."

She closed her eyes and nodded again. "And it is something I am thankful to him for."

Ash's eyes widened. "You're thankful to the man who shot your mom?"

"The person we met on Noveria was not my mother, only a shell of her. To leave her alive would be a worse fate than death. And I could not…" She looked down, taking a deep breath before continuing in a soft whisper. "I could not kill her myself."

"She was still your mother," Ashley inferred. "And no matter how much she changed, nothing could change that fact."

Liara turned to her, and this time Ashley could see the empty sadness in her eyes. "Does that make me weak?"

"No it doesn't," Ash replied with conviction. That seemed to break Liara out of her self-loathing, because she looked at the human with unwavering attention. "Look, we all have our limits on the battlefield. For some people they can't kill others outright, other people draw the line at killing civilians, and some people aren't willing to sacrifice others for the greater good. Then you have the people who have no limits, but they usually end up being sick fucks like Saren. Having limits isn't a bad thing. They're the lines we draw so we don't compromise who we are."

Ash sighed as she took a hold of Liara's hand. "But sometimes we do have to cross those lines in order to complete the mission. Not pulling the trigger an enemy because you feel it's wrong might lead to more people getting hurt. And unfortunately sometimes people just don't have the strength to push themselves past their boundaries."

"But how can you know?" Liara asked her. "How do you know which limits must be shunned, of if you have the strength to overcome your reservations?"

Ashley shrugged. "You don't ever know until the moment where you have to decide. But sometimes, it's a good thing to have others helping you. Others who don't have the same limits, who can pull the trigger when you can't."

"Like Shepard," Liara realized.

She nodded. "It's why Shepard's an N7 and a Spectre. He has his limits, but he knows when to abide by them and when to cross them. Shepard can compromise when he needs to. He never would have killed your mother if he had the choice, but Shepard knew there was no other way it could have ended, and he knew you couldn't be the one to do it. So he made a call and took on the burden himself."

"And I am still grateful for it, but I never asked him to do that for me."

"You never had to ask. You're crew, Liara, and you're our friend. Shepard takes the wellbeing of his crew and friends very seriously. It's not a habit I totally approve of, but Shepard sort of makes it his mission to bear the weight of the burdens so the rest of us don't have to."

Liara nodded in understanding. "Perhaps I should talk with him then, sometime soon. I am forever grateful to the help you all have given me, but Shepard needn't compromise his own mental wellbeing for my sake."

"I think Shepard would like that," Ash told her. She gave the Asari a pat on the back. "So, feeling better?"

She gave Ashley a small smile. "Substantially." She surprised the human when she pulled her into a tight hug. Ash recovered and returned the hug in kind, willing to do whatever it took to make her friend feel better. "Thank you, Ashley."

"It's what friends do, remember?" Ash responded warmly.

They sat there for a moment, savoring the quiet moment. Ash idly rubbed Liara's back in what she hoped was a comforting manor. Liara might be dealing with the loss of her mother right now, but she was stronger than she gave herself credit. She'd bounce back from this, just like Shepard did after Akuze, and just like Ash did after Eden Prime, and a better person for it.

"It's so easy to see why he loves you."

And just like that all of Ash's movement stopped and she went rigid. Liara wasn't implying…?

She pulled back to give the Asari a peculiar look. "Liara, what are you, uh, talking about?"

Liara frowned pedantically at her. "You don't have to withhold the secret. Shepard has already informed me of your relationship."

Ashley winced as she said, "I'm guessing the conversation leading up to that wasn't a particularly good one."

Liara nodded minutely and folder her hands in her lap, choosing to gaze at the floor. "John Shepard is a… very compelling person. It is easy to become enamored with all that he is, but less so to have those affections returned."

"Well, you're not wrong." Ash clasped her hands in front of her and leaned forward on her knees. Looking at Liara she could see the Asari was down again, but this was more of a disappointing acceptance than outright sadness.

"Look, Shepard and I knew you probably had feelings for him. He was trying to think of a way to let you down easy. But given everything's that happened it looks like it didn't pan out that way."

"Oh no, Shepard was nothing but polite and understanding as he turned down my advances. And… it helped already knowing the outcome when going into the conversation."

Ash's brow furrowed. "I don't follow."

Liara took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I already had an inkling of my feelings for Shepard as far back as Therum, but I never fully realized them until after Feros. When I was required to Meld with him to help him understand the Cipher, I could not stop myself from looking further into the mind of Commander Shepard than I needed to. And quite frankly much of what I saw frightened me. Shepard carries many burdens and curses. For all of his assurances and bravado he hides a soul that is tormented by his limitations and failures."

She opened her eyes again, turning to Ash with a look of understanding. "But I encountered one part of his mind that stood out like a beacon of light against the dark. This aberration, he thinks about it with such warmth and compassion that it overrides his misgivings and doubts. Even with my love archeology and the Protheans, I have never focused more on one thing than he has. It is his beacon, and he works almost single-mindedly to make himself worthy of this aberration."

Liara ducked her head and chuckled humorlessly. "I was foolish enough to think I might be the center of his admiration. To think that the first Human Spectre could be enamored with a shy girl who makes better friends with the dead and forgotten." Liara laughed incredulously and shook her head. "I am such idiot."

"Liara," Ash cut in pointedly as she gripped the Asari's knee. "You're not an idiot. You couldn't have known about Shepard and I."

"But I should have," Liara argued with more force than Ash was expecting. "I saw all of the signs, but I was too caught up in my wanderlust to put the pieces together. How Shepard would always turn to you if you entered a room, or how it would always be your opinion he would inevitably side with in discussions. I finally started putting the pieces together after Terra Nova. Inviting him to meet your family, how long you were gone before you arrived at the field, even how close you were later in the evening. But even then I couldn't understand the full picture until I confessed myself to Shepard before we arrived at Noveria."

She covered her eyes with a hand and laughed without humor. "I am as a foolish as a school girl with a crush, and Shepard had to turn me away like some child-"

"_Liara_," Ash said again, more assertively this time. That got the Asari to stop her ramblings, and Liara looked to Ash again. "Look, I can't say I'm sorry. I care about John too much to feel sorry for the women he has to push away. But you have to stop beating yourself up like this! So you had a crush. I've had plenty of those and had my heart crushed almost as many times. It's just something we all go through at one point or another. You like someone, you find out they don't like you back, you eat a few pints of ice cream to fill the void, and you move on. Simple as that."

Liara took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "I know you are right. After what happened with my mother, everything around me seems to be in flux. And the temptation to focus on what I have done wrong is more alluring than it should be."

"You haven't done anything wrong," Ash told her sympathetically. "You told John how you felt about him, and unfortunately he had to turn you down. Was he rude about it?"

"No. As I said, even as he explained why we couldn't be together, he had nothing but kind words and caring reassurances for me. He told me none of it was my fault, and there is nothing I should be ashamed of."

"It's like I said; you're our friend. John might not see you in a romantic light, but he still cares about you. Enough not to hurt your feelings and make sure you stay friends."

Liara reached over to clasp one of her hands with Ashley's. "I think both you and Shepard are better friends than I deserve."

Ash gave her a slight smirk. "If I'm the best friend you'll ever get then you are one seriously unlucky person."

She gave Ash a small smile that looked genuine this time. "This is why Shepard holds you so dearly. One can always look to you for support and friendship."

"Yeah, I guess I am pretty awesome."

Liara rolled her eyes. "And you certainly don't lack for egotism either."

Ash scoffed at Liara. "Doctor T'Soni, did I just hear you make a joke?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied innocently.

She laughed and jostled Liara's shoulder, causing the Asari to giggle as well. They sat there for a moment, laughing, as friends are want to do.

"Feeling better?" Ashley asked, more seriously but still with a smile.

Liara nodded and reached for her mug of cocoa again. "Much better, I think." She took a sip, sighed in contentment, and beamed at Ash. "And you should not sell yourself short. You are a much better friend than I could have hoped for. Thank you, Ashley."

"Don't mention it," Ash said as she stood back up from the cot. "Ready to get back to work?"

"I think I would like that very much," Liara replied as she shirked off her blanket and stood up. "Do you know what out next course of action will be?"

"For now, we head back to Citadel for refuel and some R and R," Ash answered as Liara sat down at her desk again. "From there, Shepard says we have some odd jobs to do in various systems."

"Nothing else leading us to Saren?"

Ash shook her head. "Not yet. He wants to look into some other strange leads we've found, and I know Wrex and Vakarian have both asked for some help with some personal stuff."

"Well, let him know if he requires anything of me, I shall be here."

"Sounds good. I'll talk to you later, Liara."

She nodded at the human with a bright smile. "I would like that."

Nodding herself, Ash moved to exit the room. However, just before she palmed the door lock to let her out, Ash paused. She went over their conversation, and something peculiar Liara had told her.

"Hey Liara?" she propositioned as she turned back the room.

"Yes?" said Liara as she typed away at her terminal, her back to Ashley.

Ash leaned against the wall, suddenly nervous for no real reason. "Earlier, did you say… John loves me?"

"Yes, I did." Liara swiveled her chair to face Ash again, but was taken aback by the queasy expression on the human's face. "Oh. Was I not supposed to tell you that?"

"What?" Ash asked a bit too loudly. "Uh, no, you're fine." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to understand what Liara just told her. "So… John told you he loves me?"

"Well… no."

Ash canted her head at the Asari, who sent an apologetic look back. "I mean, he never outright said it. But Shepard speaks about you and your relationship with such warmth and endearment it is rather plain to see how he feels about you."

"Oh," Ash replied dumbly as she looked down. So… John loves her. Is knowing about that supposed to make her heart beat faster and give her a slightly nauseous feeling in her stomach?

"I take it the L Word isn't so easily used among humans, is it?" Liara asked.

She laughed incredulously. "Well, I certainly don't have any reservations saying I love loaded chili fries." She grinned as she watched Liara blanch at the prospect of loving such unhealthy food. "But in relationships… yeah, the L Word really isn't something we can toss around without meaning it."

"I see. And do you love Shepard as well?"

Ash opened her mouth automatically, but realized she didn't have an answer, and closed it again. Did she love John Shepard? Of course she cares about him, more so than any other boyfriend she's ever had. Her feelings for him are so strong that the idea of a galaxy without John Shepard in it is one she cannot bear to imagine.

But… is she actually capable of loving him? Ash has spent so much time building up her walls, keeping other people at arm's reach, making sure they don't find a weakness they can use as an excuse to keep her back. With John it was easier to let go and let him see her true self, but not easy enough that she can trust him with her very soul yet. She just… didn't know yet.

After several moments of staring blankly off into space, Ash was jarred out of her musings when she finally noticed Liara had gotten up from her chair and walked up to her. She gave Ash a worrying look. "I get the feeling you and Shepard have to spend more time together before you can answer that."

Ash looked down and shrugged lamely. "Yeah, maybe. I mean, I do care about him. A lot. But… I'm not really the best with relationships. Hell I'm surprised we've actually lasted this long."

"Well, no relationship is ever perfect, romantic or otherwise. But, might I say one thing?"

"Sure, whatever's on your mind."

Liara folded her hands over her midriff and spoke evenly. "I am glad you and Shepard are together. Seeing you with him feels… natural, honest. I have seen the way you lift each other up, make each other happy. Shepard must bear the weight of so much, it is good to know he has someone helping to support him in ways the rest of us cannot."

Ash quirked an eyebrow at her. "You realized you're talking about the same man who broke your heart, right?"

"I am an Asari. Part of our very culture is learning to move past those we are attached to. But this is not about me, it is about you. I realize you may not fully share all of the same feelings Shepard has for you, but I believe you need only to give it time. I know he is not the only one who benefits from your relationship."

"Wow," said Ash, dumbfounded. "That's really mature of you, Liara. Thanks."

The corners of the Asari's mouth inched upward. "I am all too happy to help."

Ash felt herself smiling as well. "You know, you're probably a better friend than I deserve too."

"Well in that we are in agreement."

"Ha! Two for two, T'Soni. I think I like this new, snarky side of you."

A fair bit of blue blush crossed her cheeks as she looked away. "I think I've been spending more time around Officer Vakarian than I should."

"Oh, don't say that to Tali. She might start thinking you want her man too."

"You see it as well?" Liara asked with a laugh. "Thank the Goddess I am not the only one who thinks they are perfect for each other."

Ash chuckled. "Seriously. I think the only one who hasn't realized it yet is Garrus, the blockhead."

"Well Tali is no better. I know she likes Garrus, and I'm sure she knows she likes Garrus on some subconscious level, but whenever I try to bring it up she swears up and down she has no idea what I'm talking about."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Liara, sweetheart, I love you, but I swear it's the chapters with you in them that drag the most!<em>

_Definitely not my favorite chapter. However, the next promises to be a lot more fun, both for me to write and you all to read!_

_Thank you again to all those who have Favorited, Followed, and Reviewed._


	15. Chapter 15 - The Argument

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Warts

_Author's Note: Hey guys, since the last time I posted, Soldiers reached a milestone of one hundred Followers! (Cue unenthusiastic yaaaaaay)_

_Also, we experienced the unfortunate passing of beloved actor/comedian Robin Williams. If you're like me, hearing about his death was quite the shock. Literally no one will ever possess the level of raw comedic talent he had._

_As an ode to him, today's chapter will be entirely comedy oriented. I like to believe he would have appreciated it. _

Chapter 15 – The Argument

* * *

><p>The day started out like any other. Wrex woke up, hit the showers, made the male humans feel bad about their masculinity, then grabbed some grub at breakfast. For his shift, or whatever you wanted to call it, he started with cleaning and checking all of his guns, which he would have finished with a lot sooner if Williams and her hawk eyes didn't make him fix every apparent mistake he made. Damn human, he liked her a lot more when she still didn't trust him.<p>

After that he went back to doing what he did best: standing around in his spot. Normally Wrex abated the monotony of standing in one spot doing nothing by reliving old battles and merc jobs in his head, or with the occasional foray of probing questions from Shepard. Good kid. Naïve; but good.

Today, however, since they were docked at the Citadel for a couple days, Wrex was browsing through the extranet, looking for anything new and exciting on the station. Looked like the Silversun Strip got a new simulated combat arena recently; Armax Arsenal. The system Williams bought was good, but it looked like Armax pulled out all of the stops for theirs. Maybe he could convince Shepard to take the ground team out for a… what is it the humans call it? A field trip?

It was a little bit before noon when Shepard walked into the cargo bay pushing along a hover trolley, nodding the Krogan a greeting and heading toward Williams. Wrex was ready to make a hasty retreat whenever those two got close to each other. Some rutting was always a good way to ease stress, but damn if Shepard and Williams didn't stink up the place with their mating pheromones. Although it looked like Wrex was in the clear today. Whatever Shepard wanted, it wasn't carnal. Probably something to do with the trolley full of guns.

Williams, who was working on cleaning up her Torrent VI Assault Rifle at her work bench, glanced up as Shepard approached her. "Hey Skipper," she greeted cheerily.

"Morning Williams," Shepard welcomed in a voice that made Wrex inwardly groan with how un-badass-like it was. "Working on your rifle, I see."

"You know it," Williams commented idly as she scrubbed the main barrel of her gun.

Shepard grinned as he said, "Well, you can toss that hunk of junk. The set of Thunder VII rifles I ordered came in, so you can start checking these out."

Wrex closed his eyes and inwardly sighed. _Shepard, you idiot._

Williams' movements slowed, a queer expression on her human face. Slowly, she placed her equipment down and turned to face the commander. "Excuse me?" she demanded.

Shepard's usually large, stupid grin faltered somewhat, obviously not expecting the reaction. As he took out one of the new rifles he explained, "Well, Torrents don't pack as much punch as Thunders, so I felt it prudent to upgrade our arsenal."

He held it forward for her to inspect, and Williams roughly tore it from his hands. She fitted it into her shoulder and looked over the sights. "I'm fully aware the Thunder line has a higher caliber round," she said tersely. She collapsed the rifle as she said, "But its accuracy and ammo consumption are pretty crap when you compare them to Torrents."

"Well, yes, Thunders aren't the best in those categories," Shepard conceded. "But what's the point in landing our shots if they're not going to kill anything?"

"What's the point in having rounds that do more damage if you can't land your shots?" Williams countered firmly. Scowling, she stepped closer to Shepard, hand on her hip in a challenging stance. "And who are you to decide what you think the best rifle for me to use is?"

Wrex watched with bated breath. Shepard had to choose the right words here if he wanted to come out of this alive.

"Well, you're not like Liara or Kaidan or Garrus. You need the best equipment in order to keep up with them."

Wrex groaned. Those were not the right words.

Williams' glare turned murderous. "Not like Liara or Kaidan or Garrus," she mimed. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean, Shepard? Because I'm not a biotic or some techie savant I'm not as qualified as the rest of the ground team?"

Wex could start to smell genuine fear coming off of Shepard now. "I didn't say that," he backtracked quickly.

"Really?" Williams challenged as she stepped forward, causing Shepard to step back and bump his backside against the trolley. "And just what are you saying?"

Shepard raised his hands in surrender as he stammered through an answer. "Well, I mean, um, you don't have biotic or tech powers like the rest of the guys, and that kinda puts you at a disadvan- a unique position!" he corrected quickly as she glared daggers at him. "All I'm saying is that you need the better guns to make up for your limitations."

Shepard was only confident with the answer for a half second before he realized how moronic he just sounded. Glaring broadswords at him now, Williams slammed the gun into Shepard's chest, causing him to stumble back into the trolley. Shepard worked his mouth opened and closed, trying to think of a way to mend the situation, but Wrex knows it's already too late. Williams pushed past him and stomped her way toward the elevator.

"Ash!" Shepard called frantically as he fumbled with the rifle and put it back on the trolley. Williams ignored him and stepped onto the lift. "Ashley wait!" He tried to catch up to her, but the elevator doors closed him off before he could get too far. Shepard stopped in the middle of the cargo bay, his jaw hanging open and his shoulders slumped in defeat. He hung his head and muttered a curse at himself.

Wrex chuckled haughtily. "Smooth, Shepard."

"Shut up, Wrex."

* * *

><p>Something was… off.<p>

Yesterday, Shepard had come to Tali asking if she wanted to join him and Ashley as they took care of some business on the Citadel. She agreed readily, yearning for a chance to get off the ship and do something besides ship maintenance for a while. And it looked like Shepard and Ash actually wanted to get the work done, rather than smooze up to each other while off the ship, so at least Tali wouldn't feel like a third cog. Er, or wheel.

But as she stood in decontamination with the two humans, waiting for the cycle to complete, Tali knew something was wrong. Ash and Shepard were usually so relaxed around each other, trading banter and jokes as they waited. But today they both looked tense, and a pregnant silence hung in the small room. Judging from their body language, it sort of looked like they were both mad about something. What that something was, Tali had no idea, nor did she think she wanted to know, so she chose to keep her mouth shut as well.

She watched Ash glance at Shepard's back. "I see you're bringing one of the new Thunder Rifles," she commented, not unkindly, but with a hard, accusatory undertone. "I guess we won't have to deal with any firefights today."

Shepard took a long, deep breath, like he knew the comment was coming, but he still wasn't looking forward to the conversation. "And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Well if someone did attack us you'd never be able to hit them," Ash said lightly, her words dripping with condescension. "So I'm assuming you're toting your new toy around to show it off because you know you can't use it anywhere else."

_Oh Keelah,_ Tali thought forlornly. This was a lovers' spat, wasn't it? Great.

Shepard flexed his hands at his hands, and he spoke with no small amount of grit. "The door is right there, Williams. You don't have to come along if you don't want to."

"Yeah, I guess I'm not the most qualified person to be here right now," she responded sarcastically. "You know what; you guys are lacking some biotics. Maybe I can call up Liara or Wrex and one of them can take my spot?"

Shepard sent a caustic glance over his shoulder. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Really? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's what I heard."

"Well maybe you should work all the crap out of your head to understand people better."

"And maybe you should be less of an egotistical ass!"

They both turned their gazes away from each other, still fuming. The level of silence in the small compartment reached a whole new level of awkward.

"Do I even want to know what's going on?" Tali asked cautiously.

"No," they both replied sternly.

"Alrighty then."

The decontamination cycle mercifully ended, and the trio began their day. From there they fell into a more normal routine. She and Ash would comment on places they passed through or things they saw, and Shepard took the lead in talking to whoever they needed to. It was obvious he and Ash were still tense around each other, but they knew enough not to make a scene in public.

First they visited some Asari diplomat who wanted help in rescuing her sister, then they resolved the situation between the Salarian Chorban and his Volus partner in regards to their Keeper studies, and then up to the Council Chambers to meet with a human named Admiral Kahoku and agree to help find his missing recon team. Along the way Shepard would stop and help diffuse some mundane situations, like the Turian cop trying to arrest the preaching Hanar, or the expecting mother and her late husband's brother as they worried over the health of her unborn child.

It was when they said goodbye to Admiral Kahoku and making their way out of the Council Chambers things started getting interesting. Shepard was hailed by an investigative reporter named Emily Wong, who apparently wanted help in exposing the sub-par conditions air traffic controllers worked in. The listening bug was easy enough to plant, and as they headed back Tali figured they'd just get a small monetary reward and a thank you from the human woman.

Tali really wished she'd been right.

"Thank you so much for all of your help!" said Miss Wong, exceptionally happy now that her bug was in place and working. She handed Shepard a credit chit. "Here, this everything I got from my publisher's budget."

"It was no problem," Shepard said as he shook her hand. "Good luck with your story. It deserves to be heard."

"I appreciate you support. Hopefully this will save some lives in the long run. Thanks again for your help. I'm gonna show this to my publisher."

Wong almost moved past Shepard to walk away, but seemed to think better of it. Leaning into his personal space, Wong suggestively trailed her hand along his upper arm. "And Shepard," she said in a seductive voice, "I'm still looking forward to that interview."

Tali watched as Shepard's eye went wide and his Adams Apple bobbed up and down. "Uh, right. Like I said, as soon as Saren's behind bars, you're the first person I call."

Giving him a coy smile, Wong released his arm and walked away, an extra sashay to her hips that made Tali roll her eyes. Some women were too flirty for their own go-

Wait. Wong was being flirty. With Shepard.

_In front of Ashley._

Shepard slowly looked to Tali, and the grave face she saw was enough to communicate just how screwed at this moment he was.

They cautiously panned over to see Ashley's reaction, and were not disappointed. The human woman was snarling at Wong's back as the reporter walked away, and her brown eyes were alight with a fiery wrath Tali hasn't seen since Terra Nova, after Kaidan slept with her sister. Ashley flexed her hand repeatedly at her side, likely trying to resist the urge to draw her gun.

"Ash," Shepard tried carefully.

Ashley directed her ireful gaze at the Spectre, and Tali watched the large, physically dominating man visibly flinch in fear. Without saying a word Ash turned and walked away at a brusque pace, and Shepard and Tali had to hurry to keep up with her. They headed over to the Citadel Rapid Transit Station.

"We need anything else done today?" she asked tersely without turning around.

"No, we've done everything we need to do," Shepard answered in a very un-commander like way. Tali could see it in his body language; he knew they were going to have a long conversation back aboard the _Normandy_, and he was not all looking forward to it.

The ride back to C-Sec Headquarters was quite possibly the most tension laden trip Tali had ever been a part of. Shepard and Ash sat in the two front seats, each determinedly staring out of their respective windows in opposite directions. Tali sat in the back, and chose to keep quiet for the time being. She didn't want the volcano forming between them exploding on her.

"Do either of you know about the Armax Arsenal Arena over on the Silversun Strip?" Shepard asked quietly, doing his best to avoid any topics that could further set Ashley off.

"What about it?" Ash asked bitterly.

Shepard took a deep breath, and seemed to fight the urge to rise to Ash's provocation. Nonplussed, he elaborated, "Wrex told me about earlier; said it might be fun for the crew to check out a state of the art combat simulator. I was just wondering if either of you know of it and what the clientele are like."

"I've never spent more than six hours on this station at any one time, so I don't know why you're asking me," Ashley replied.

Shepard looked to Tali through the rear view mirror, and she could see just how tired of this he was. "Quarians are practically barred from going anywhere near the Silversun Strip," she supplied. "I don't know anything about it. Sorry."

"It's alright, Tali," Shepard reassured. "I'm going to ask around C-Sec and see what they've got. You two can head back to the ship without me if you want to."

Tali nodded, and Ash harrumphed in reply. Probably thinking Shepard was looking for excuse to prolong their inevitable argument. The car dropped them off at the station, and Ashley and Shepard headed off in different directions. Tali opted to stick with Shepard for a little while longer, partially for want of something to do that wasn't on the ship, and partially because she was not keen on spending another elevator ride with the ticking time bomb known as Ashley Williams.

Shepard asked around some of the lower level officers to get a sense of what they knew of the Armax Arena. The opinions they were given were generally positive, with only the occasional report of some drunk hooligan running amuck of things. Tali professed she likely wouldn't go, but thought it would be a fun excursion for Shepard and some of the other crew, and Shepard agreed with her.

Having made his decision, Shepard led Tali back to the main entrance where they could find the elevator heading own the docking bay. Tali figured Ash had made it back on the ship by now, so she was surprised to see the human woman still standing around by the elevator. And she was talking with one of the C-Sec officers, a young human man.

Red flags went up in Tali's head as she and Shepard approached them. Both Ashley and the young man were leaning against a far wall, chatting, and Ashley struck a somewhat suggestive pose as she batted her eye lashes and grinned unreservedly at the admittedly cute C-Sec cop, who looked as though he didn't mind one bit. Shepard must have noticed this too, because Tali could see his shoulders tense up and his fists clench at his sides.

Ash spotted them out of the corner of her eye as they approached, an evil glint in her gaze, and she giggled unabashedly loud at some lame joke about the dextro food on the Citadel from the cop.

"Shepard, Tali!" she greeted in a mockingly cheerful voice when they were close enough. "Shepard, you remember Eddie Lang, right?"

Officer Lang's smile grew even wider as he turned to see Shepard. "Commander! It's good to see you again."

Shepard was always good at hiding his emotions. He plastered on a convincing smile and shook Lang's hand enthusiastically. "Likewise, officer. Still keeping up the good work?" But Tali could see through the act. Shepard's movements were stiffer than normal, and there was a slight twitch in his left eye that betrayed how just not ok with this he was.

"The work's as good always," Lang replied happily. "Your friend Ashley was just asking me about my job, too."

"I was saying how surprised I was he didn't join up with the Alliance," Ash interjected. "Big, strong guy like you would have fit perfectly into an Alliance uniform," she told Lang in a voice laced with both praise and seduction.

Lang's cheeks gained a prominent blush and he flustered over his words. "Well, uh, it was family tradition, really. My father and grandfather both worked for the LAPD back on Earth."

"Ooh, a family of crime fighters. Living a life of excitement and danger and all that, right?"

"This is all very fascinating," Shepard cut in derisively. "I don't mean to cut your conversation short, but I'm afraid I have to steal my crew member back, as we still have some business to attend to."

Lang, as oblivious as a human can be, nodded in understanding. "Of course, Commander, I didn't mean to hold you up. But if you're ever on the Citadel with some time to kill, don't hesitate to give me a call." He shifted his gaze to Ashley with a loaded look. "I'd love to buy you all a round of drinks."

"I might just take you up on that," Ash responded as she pushed off the wall.

Tali could see Shepard was struggling to keep his mouth in a smile as he said goodbye to Officer Lang and walked away with his crew mates. Only when they were far enough away did he let his face fall in derision, giving Ashley a glare.

Ash glowed with a triumphant grin, ignoring her commander's scathing look. "So, what 'business' do we still have to do today?" she asked innocently.

Shepard looked away as he thought for a moment. Whatever he came up with, Tali didn't have a good feeling about it, for his mouth twisted into a wicked grin that made her uneasy. "Actually, there is something we forgot to do." Tali and Ash shared a look as Shepard led them back to the elevator leading to the Presidium Commons. Ash didn't look at all perturbed, merely shrugging and following the Commander's lead.

Ashley's triumphant grin turned into a scowl of pure malice when she realized Shepard was taking them to the Consort Chambers.

Although Shepard's revenge didn't turn out being so cut and dry. At first they were turned away because the waiting list for the Consort was months long, a fact Ashley seemed to be quite keen with. But then they were called back, and the Consort roped Shepard into helping her deal with a Turian general named Septimus Oraka who was spreading lies about her. Said general was made to see reason with Shepard's silver tongue, as the humans call it, and after a quick detour to the embassies to reassure an Elcor diplomat the Consort was not revealing his secrets, they headed back to the Asari's chamber for Shepard's… reward.

What that reward was, Tali had no idea. She and Ash were made to wait outside while Shepard and the Consort spoke. So here the two of them were now, at the base of the stairs leading up to the Consort's room. Tali was leaning against the wall, fiddling with one of her hacking algorithms to pass the time, while Ash was pacing like a mad woman, back and forth, back and forth.

"What the hell is taking them so long?" Ash asked angrily to no one in particular.

Tali checked her chronometer. "It hasn't even been five minutes yet," she replied dryly.

"I don't care how long it's been." Ash raked her hands through her hair as she continued to pace. "The longer the Skipper's in there with that bi… that Asari, the more I don't like it."

Tali was fairly certain Ash's worries were unfounded, but it did seem natural to be worried when one met the Consort Sha'ira. It really did go without saying the Asari was beautiful without compare. But the Consort was more than that. Her entire body and presence radiated soothing warmth that lured people in and relieved them of their worries. One felt inextricably calmer in her presence. Well, anyone except for Ashley, maybe.

Watching the human woman pace back and forth, Tali did feel no small amount of pity for her. Tali still didn't want to know what had her and Shepard at each other's throats, but far be it from her to stand by and do nothing while Ash and Shepard had their spat.

"You know, there is a way we could listen in if we wanted to," Tali offered.

Ash slowed her pace to give the Quarian a wary look. "And how could we do that?"

"I might have hacked into the audio recorder for Shepard's suit."

"Tali, why on Earth would you do that?"

"Because… reasons."

Ashley looked skeptical for a moment before waving her concerns off. "I'll be pissed off later. Just let me hear what they're doing."

"Sure thing. And I apologize in advance if we hear something… unsavory." Tali typed in a few commands, and they waited. The connection was established in no time flat, and the two women were given a clear audio input of what was happening in the closed room.

Tali heard a patterned thumping, like the sound of military hard boots clacking against the ground as Shepard walked. And judging by what Tali was hearing him say, she wouldn't be surprised if he were pacing as well.

"I was trying to _help_ her!" he said emphatically, likely to Sha'ira. "I just thought, 'Hey, Ash, your gun doesn't do as much damage as this one. So why don't you use this on the battlefield so you _don't die?_'"

"Wait," said the sanguine voice of the Consort. "Are you saying you are in this situation because you offered to give her a new pistol?"

"An assault rifle," he corrected. "And… yes." Much of the fire from his earlier words was gone now as he realized how petty the argument sounded.

"All of this started because of some stupid gun?" Tali whispered heatedly to Ashley.

"It's a matter of preference!" Ash defended. "Besides, he made it worse."

"Forgive me, commander," said Sha'ira over the comm., "but couples have come to me to help mend breaks that have been caused by much greater catalysts. I do not see how a misjudgment about a tool led to the state you are in now."

"It's because…" Shepard sighed. "It's because I made it worse."

"And how did you do that?"

"I… pointed out that unlike the rest of the ground team who make up our main squad, Ashley doesn't have any biotics or real tech expertise. And I suggested the idea that she needs the best weapons in order to make up for her… limitations." The last word was uttered like a defeated confession.

"Ah. So you insulted her character."

"No I didn't! The truth is-"

"Just because something is true does not make it any less insulting," the Consort cut in. "Commander, my job requires me to constantly tread the line between truth, half-truths and lies. Sometimes I must shatter the happy lies my clients blind themselves with, and sometimes I bend the truth in order to help my clients reach the enlightenment they require. Each scenario I am presented with requires a unique solution. And I can assure you in this instance, being right does not actually mean you are right."

"Well, sure… wait, what?"

The Consort released a drawn out sigh. "You are right to care about the wellbeing of your significant other. But you must come to learn that sometimes what you think is best might not actually be best."

They heard the sound of fabric ruffling, like someone was standing up from a couch. "Thank you again for your help, commander, but I am afraid I must ask you to leave with your cohorts. I do have other appointments today."

"Of course, I didn't mean to take up so much of you time. And… thank you, Sha'ira. I'll ruminate on what you've told me."

"See that you do. Even the strongest of towers can come crumbling down if its supports are rotten from neglect. And I have the feeling your tower will need all of the support it can muster."

"Ain't that the damn truth," Shepard muttered, so quietly that they barely even heard it through the audio recorder.

There came the sounds of footfalls, and Tali quickly shut down her Omni Tool. She and Ash resumed their innocuous positions on walls, giving the impression they hadn't been up to anything devious during Shepard's absence, just as he and the Consort walked through her door.

"It was a pleasure to meet you all," the Asari said pleasantly as they descended the steps. "And I thank you again for assistance. I hope your travels prove fruitful and enlightening."

"It was an honor to help," Shepard answered for them all. To his squad mates he asked, "Are you two ready to go?"

Tali and Ashley both nodded, so they gave their farewells and exited the Consort Chambers. The walk back to the ship was quiet, like before, only now Ash and Shepard seemed to be inside their own heads, contemplative. Tali knew this wasn't the end of whatever was going on with them, but she hoped it would come to a resolution soon.

* * *

><p>After the decontamination cycle ended, the lone occupant of the air lock walked out and onto the docking area. While Liara did normally prefer her solitude, she had to admit her room had become somewhat cloistering as of late. She figured a walk around the Presidium whilst thinking about nothing in particular might help alleviate her need for movement.<p>

At the end of the docking tube she came across Requisitions Officer Richard Joans, crouching next to a hover trolley full of various equipment he likely purchased earlier today.

He glanced up at the sound of footfalls coming toward him. "Hey there, T'Soni," he greeted cheerily. "Didn't expect to see you out of the ship."

"That would make two of us," she joked. "The _Normandy_ is a wonderful ship, but I find myself yearning for a change of scenery."

"Yeah, I get that. On tours like this, everyone gets at least a little bit stir crazy." Joans looked pensive for a moment as he stood up, giving Liara a sympathetic look. "Hey, I know we don't really know each other that well, but… sorry about your mom, I guess."

Liara felt a twinge of sadness flash through her chest, but that was a far cry from the days immediately following the mission on Noveria. With help from her friends, like Ashley and Shepard, Liara has come to better manage her feelings of sadness and loss, and push past the pain they cause her.

She gave Joans a weary smile. "I appreciate your saying that, but I am fine. The crew has been more wonderful than I could have hoped, helping me cope with my sorrows."

"It's what we do," Joans said with a slight shrug. "Crew mates are family, and we look out for our family."

"Well then, I am glad to be a part of this family."

"Wouldn't have you anywhere else. Enjoy your walk, Dr. T'Soni." Joans turned back to his wares, and Liara was about to walk away when he turned back to her, with the looks of an idea forming in his head. "You know, a bunch of us are going out clubbing tonight. You're welcome to come, if you want. You know, just let go for a night and forget about your worries."

Liara stilled in her movements as she contemplated the idea. A mere month ago she would have balked at the idea of going out to a club. She'd never been one to really partake in alcohol, and the loud music coupled with the mass of bodies usually only served to make her anxieties worse.

But over the past few weeks, Liara has been realizing just how lacking her life has been thus far. For years it has felt like she's never actually been part of the galaxy, merely an observer on the outside looking in. And from some of the experiences she has been a part of during her time with the _Normandy,_ Liara has been realizing she has remarkably few reasons not to try new things.

"I cannot believe I'm actually saying this, but that actually sounds like… fun. Fun is not something I allow myself to partake in often enough. But, um, exactly who else is going?" Liara was on amiable terms with the majority of the crew, but she was not as close with most of them as she was with Ashley or Tali.

"Well, I know Wrex has been trying to get people to go with him to that Armax Arena place, and I think Vakarian and Alenko are going with him. Most of the non-essential personnel and most of the marine unit are going to Flux. I know Chakwas and Joker aren't going. Come to think of it, the only people who don't know about our plans are Shepard, Williams and Zorah, because they've been out all afternoon. Say, if you see them on your walk could you…" Joans glanced over her shoulder. "Oh! Never mind, here they come."

Liara turned to see Shepard, Ashley and Tali exit the elevator leading up to the C-Sec headquarters and walk toward them. Liara was already imagining their reactions to finding out she would go clubbing with the crew, but her giddy musings were cut short when she took a good look at them all.

Something seemed off. Ashley and Shepard were walking more stiffly than usual, and they were not trading the warm looks of camaraderie and compassion that was normally their penchant. No, today both of them wore uneasy expressions, and were determinedly not looking at each other. And even the usually unreadable Tali looked worn down, a defeated slump to her shoulders as she gazed between her two human friends.

Joans must not have seen the warning signs Liara saw, for he greeted them with his usual amount of cheeriness. "Hey commander! How's the new Thunder rifle working out for ya?"

Both Shepard's and Ashley's faces twitched in a grimace for a second at the mention of the rifle. That was… curious.

"Haven't had a chance to test it out yet," Shepard told the younger man solemnly. "I'll let you know after we get back from the Armax Arena later."

Shepard stepped past them nodded a hello to Liara, and entered into the docking tube at a slow pace. Liara canted her head at Tali as she walked past, trying to get her attention, but the Quarian shrugged helplessly. Ashley didn't actually follow them, opting to chat with Joans for a few minutes more.

"So is this all your new equipment?" Ashley asked him.

"Sure is. Just bought it all fresh off the market today. Although I don't have everything yet." He turned to Ashley. "Hey, do you mind wheeling this down to my station? There's some stuff I need that's kinda rare, and I only know the one store to get it at, so I have to try and get there early."

Ashley waved off his concerns. "Sure, it's no problem."

Joans' smile grew wider. "Thanks, Ash, you're the best. I'll talk to you later." Ashley nodded, but her smile looked uneasy, faked.

He moved past them and started walking toward the elevator, but he stopped abruptly and turned back, fixing Ashley with a peculiar look. "Hey, Ash, I was wondering, uh, if you wanted to go out later."

Liara felt her herself stop short and her eyes go wide. Did Joans just ask what she think he just asked? Liara knows Ashley and Shepard haven't exactly made their relationship public knowledge, but she'd assumed at least most of the crew would have an inkling by now.

The sound of boots scraping against metal caught her attention, and Liara looked back to the docking tube. Shepard had turned back to them, looking both bewildered and furious at Joans. Behind him Tali was simply shaking her head.

Looking back to Ashley, the human woman's eyes were also wide with shock and her mouth hung open. "What?"

Joans momentarily looked taken aback but corrected himself. "Oh, no! Not like that. Not like a… date, or anything. I mean, uh, a bunch of the crew are going out to Flux tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to come too."

To Liara it felt like everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief. Ashley gave Joans a sympathetic look, and she thought Ashley would turn down his offer. But then Ashley glanced over Liara's shoulder into the docking tube shoulder, and Liara saw her brow crease with the makings of an idea.

"Actually," she said to Joans after pretending to mull it over, "that might be a good time. Count me in."

Joans blew out the breath he'd apparently been holding. "Great! Uh, good. Good. I'll see you there later, then." He glanced down the docking tube, as if only just remembering Shepard and Tali were present as well. "Oh, uh, you guys are invited too, if you wanna come."

"I'm afraid I'll have to pass," was Shepard's stony reply.

Tali canted her head from side to side as she thought the idea over. "Sure, sounds like fun."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you all later." The smile Joans gave Ashley as he walked away only served to confuse Liara further. The man was general a happy-go-lucky fellow, so receiving smiles from him wasn't at all uncommon. But this one was strange. It masked a certain level of nervousness and yearning, like he held a secret he could not tell at this time.

Ashley gave him a weak smile as she waved goodbye, then took control of his trolley to push it into the docking tube to meet up with Tali and Shepard.

Liara looked between her and Joans as they both walked away, beyond confused as to what just happened, then over to Shepard and Tali. If she thought the other two would yield answers to her, she was sorely mistaken. Shepard's mouth was mashed into a grim line, and there was a hard set to his normally caring blue eyes as he pointedly stared at anything that was not Ashley.

Liara decided her walk could wait for now and joined her friends in the air lock. The three of them were acting so strangely. She hoped she could talk to one of them alone and decipher as to what was going on.

Alas, her hopes were dashed when Shepard asked, "Tali, could you take care of Joans' merchandise? I was hoping to talk to Ashley in my quarters." The two women looked at each other. Ashley snorted in annoyance, but relented the control of the trolley.

As soon as the door opened for them, Shepard took off with Ashley. Joker swiveled in his chair to greet them. "Well hey there, commander. How did-"

"Not now, Joker," Shepard deflected without pause. He and Ashley walked the length of the ship at a brisk pace. Joker simply shook his head at them and turned back to his console.

Liara flagged Tali down by grabbing her shoulder. "By the Goddess, what is going on?" she pleaded.

Tali sighed and turned to face her. "Shepard and Ash apparently had an argument earlier."

"Good one, too," Joker commented unabashedly.

Giving Joker a mild glare, Tali went on, "let's just say a bunch of things happened today that only made the situation worse. Look, I'll tell you more at Flux later, okay?"

Liara wasn't actually okay with that, but she'd have to compromise for now. "Of course. I'll let you get back to your work."

Tali nodded and pushed the trolley, leaving Liara standing in the middle of the bridge with many more questions than answers.

"Soooo I might know a certain someone who knows what went down," said a cheeky voice behind her.

Liara rolled her eyes and turned to face Joker. "And would that certain someone be the ship pilot who shamelessly spies on the crew all day?"

"Oooh, the doctor has some fire in her!" Liara crossed her arms and gave Joker a simpering look. He held up his hands in surrender and said, "Alright, alright, I'll knock it off. Touchy."

She resisted the urge to storm away. Liara has been trying her best to get along with the crew, but Joker and his crude sense of humor have proven more difficult to become accustomed to. But if Joker was implying what Liara thought he was, she could swallow her pride for a minute or two.

"If I may be so bold to ask, what exactly is it that you know about what's going on with Shepard and Ashley?" She didn't like that fact she was going to Joker of all people for this information, but she had to admit there really was no better source of gossip on the _Normandy._

Joker's eye lit up like a child at a candy store. "Alright, so here's what happened. Shepard bought a few new Thunder rifles, and he basically told Ash she didn't need her Torrent anymore because it sucked so much. That's what got her pissed off in the first place."

Liara furrowed her brow at the pilot. "Are you actually saying Shepard and Ashley are in such a pore state because of a misunderstanding over weaponry?"

"No, that's not even the best part! Then Shepard pointed out Ash doesn't have biotics or tech like the rest of you guys, so he told Ash she needed the best guns in order to make up for her limitations."

Liara closed her eye in anguish and ran a hand over her frill. "Oh dear."

Joker chuckled with mirth. "Oh, you should have heard the way Ash went in on Shepard. So hilarious to listen to."

"Well, they are in Shepard's cabin now, yes? Hopefully they are talking, and this will all be over soon."

The pilot gave her a queer look. "Ehh, I don't know about that. Human fights can get a lot worse before they get better."

"I'm sure it is not as bad as you may think it is."

"You think so? Well let's have ourselves a look see, shall we?" Joker swiveled in his chair and began fiddling with is instruments.

"What are you doing?" Liara asked as she stepped up behind his chair.

"Tapping into Shepard's comm. unit." Joker replied as if it were the most natural thing to do.

"You hacked into your commanding's officer recorder unit?"

"Wasn't that hard to do. Shepard uses the same password for, like, everything. Besides, it's fun to listen to you guys some times."

(Years later, John Shepard would look back on these documents and go, "Did everyone eavesdrop on me at some point?!")

Though she had her reservations about violating Shepard's privacy, Liara waited patiently for Joker to establish the connection. She was far too curious to hear how Shepard and Ashley were handling their relationship.

Poorly, from the sound of things. "I didn't ask her to hit on me!" they heard Shepard yell, likely to Ashley.

"Well you sure as hell didn't stop her," Ashley's voice responded angrily. Joker and Liara kept hearing intermittent _thunks_, like someone was tossing pieces of their armor to the ground. In a voice mocking Shepard's, Ashley went on, "Oh, as soon as Saren's behind bars, you're _the first_ person I call."

"I do not sound like that," Shepard argued dejectedly. "And looks who's talking! Oh, Officer Lang, a big, strong man like you would fit perfectly in an Alliance uniform," Shepard said in a poor imitation's of Ashley's voice. "You sought him out. I never flirted with Wong to get back at you."

"And you don't even have to try. Commander Shepard is so goddamn perfect that every woman he meets just throw themselves all over him. And god forbid any Asari you meet _not_ offer to try and mind fuck you."

"You mean Melding? Oh god, this is about what happened with Shiala, isn't it? I thought you said you were okay with that."

"You let some green bitch go poking around your head and you think I'm _okay_ with that?"

Joker mercifully thumbed the off button, looking the least bit shell shocked. "Well, I think we can agree it's not going well."

"Unfortunately not," Liara said sadly. "Are human fights always this… dramatic?"

"Yeah, more or less." Joker turned his chair back to her. "Though at least Ash said 'green bitch.'" To Liara's confused look he elaborated, "Well, she said green bitch, meaning Shiala specifically. She didn't say blue bitch, which would sorta' be a slight on Asari in general."

"While that does speak volumes about Ashley's character, it does not help our situation at present time."

"Yeah, I know," Joker muttered as he re-positioned his hat. He looked up at Liara with a peculiar gaze. "So when are you gonna' try and hit that?"

Liara's brow markings slanted in confusion. "Hit what?"

"Shepard."

"Why would I try to assault the commander?"

Joker rolled his eyes. "I mean try to hook up with him."

Now her brow markings shot upward in surprise. "What?!"

"Oh don't look so surprised. Everyone knows you have the hots for him."

Liara huffed indignantly. "Shepard may be an attractive person, but I will have you know I have spoken to both him and Ashley about the feelings I had for him. I have no desire to vest Shepard away from Ashley."

Joker's shoulders slumped unhappily. "So you and Ash aren't going to catfight over him?"

"No, Joker. I'm sorry." She wasn't sorry. At all.

"And I should cancel the mud pit I ordered for you two to fight in?"

"The mud pit? Joker, that is sick."

"Ask any other guy on this ship and they will tell you that is quality entertainment."

Liara shook her hands at Joker like she wanted to strangle him. "How can you always be so… vulgar?"

"Well, there _is_ a reason they call me Joker."

Liara crossed her arms and gave him a deprecating look. "Really? Because Ashley told me your teacher gave you the nickname because you never seemed to smile."

Joker's normally cheeky grin faltered at that. Liara felt a smug smile tug at her lips, and pushed onward for the kill. "And pray tell, why would Jeffrey 'Joker' Moreau be lacking in reasons to be smiling?"

With a grim look, Joker abruptly spun his seat back to the view port. "I don't expect an Asari to have any sympathy for a sickly kid," he said disdainfully without looking at her.

That took Liara by surprise. "Who is sickly?"

"Don't patronize me," Joker said as he fiddled with controls and settings that only served to draw his attention away from the Asari standing behind him.

Liara came up to stand behind his chair, still perplexed as to what he was talking about. "How can I patronize you if I have no idea what I'm talking about?"

"Never stopped anyone else," Joker muttered. He glanced back at her, his eyes scrunched in his thinking-way. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"I cannot say that I do."

Joker released a breath of air and relaxed in his seat. "Man, I really have to stop doing that." He turned his chair to face Liara again and explained, "Alright, so I've got this thing called Vrolik's syndrome. The bones in my legs never developed marrow, so they're basically hollow. I can't put too much pressure on my legs or they'll snap."

"Ah. That would explain the crutches," said Liara, gesturing to the medical equipment standing off to the side.

Joker briefly looked over at them, appearing indifferent to their existence. "Well, better those than the clunky robots legs the docs made me use when I was a kid. I swear, from the waist down those things made me look like some kind of Terminator reject."

"A human pop culture reference I'm sure," Liara intoned as she sat down in the pilot seat to Joker's right. "But how did having Vrolik's Syndrome negatively affect your school years? Besides the obvious, of course."

"Oh, the legs never held me back at all really. I was the best pilot in flight school, even better than the professors. Thing was, nobody liked the idea of being shone up by the kid with the creaky legs, so none of them ever gave a rat's ass about me."

Joker was usually so carefree and humorous, it was jarring to hear him talk with such vitriol. Suddenly Liara felt very ignorant to disregard his humor as being a character flaw. Like Ashley had said, it was simply what Joker used to cope.

"I am pure blooded," Liara told him quietly. Joker looked at her, an expectant but calm expression on his face. "It means both of my parents were Asari."

"Isn't that a good thing? I always figured pureblood meant pedigree or something like that."

"In some instances you would be correct. But with the Asari in today's society, it is seen as a stain on the bloodline. Many Asari believe it weakens us as a whole to continually breed with ourselves rather than propagate with other species."

"Only you would call hooking up 'propagating,'" Joker… joked.

Liara allowed a small smile at the jest before she sobered again. "Even though I was the daughter of someone as influential as Benezia, the stigma of having two Asari parents made school life… difficult, at times. I was one of the best students in my class, and rarely was I ever recognized for it because of my status."

"Sucks, doesn't it?" Joker asked, even though he already knew the answer. "Knowing people won't acknowledge your successes because they can't look past something that was out of your control."

"Well, that is not entirely true." Joker furrowed his brow at her, and she explained, "Anderson recognized what you are capable of, and so did Shepard. There are people who refuse to see beyond a person's black marks on their ledger, but then there are others who see how valuable you are. Yesterday you were among class mates who judged you for your disease, but today you are the head pilot for what may be the most advanced ship in the entire galaxy."

Joker rubbed his palm over the console affectionately, a more natural smile playing across his lips. "That I am. And my old sociology teacher can suck it for saying I'd never amount to anything." While the joke was rather crass for her usual tastes, Liara still found herself chuckling because of it.

"And things worked out for you too," Joker continued. "I guarantee any other commander would have thrown you in the brig for being Benezia's daughter. But here you are, on said most advanced ship in the galaxy, learning more about the Protheans than anyone else has in the past thousand years."

Liara hummed thoughtfully. "Shepard is a very good friend."

"Yeah, he's alright," Joker tried to deflect. But Liara could see it by his smile that he knew Shepard was one of the closest friends he'd made in years.

They heard footfalls coming toward them, and Joker and Liara looked back to see the oncoming shore party. Shepard led the way with Wrex, Garrus, and Kaidan in tow, all of them geared up and looking like they were prepared for a mission. Ashley walked closely with Shepard, though she had changed back to her BDU's. The two of them seemed to be discussing something, and Liara and Joker could make out thw words as they got closer.

"Tali's little more than a teenager," Shepard told Ashley. "Let her dance and have all the fun she wants, but make sure she doesn't drink too much. And make sure anything she does drink has been properly filtered."

"I'm sure Tali's smart enough to know what she can and can't drink," Ashley dismissed. "But I'll keep an eye on her while we're at Flux. You watch these guys while you're out today. And remember not to let Wrex smack talk any Salarians. You know how he gets around them."

"I am not some pup who needs coddling!" Wrex said indignantly.

Shepard gave Ashley a bland look. "Wrex can take care of himself. Everything will be fine. Nothing's going to happen."

"I'd believe you were it not for the fact something always happens when you say it won't. But I'm not worried. Between the four of you, you guys should have enough tech and biotics to handle anything."

Ashley said the sentence with a audible amount of condescension, and Shepard briefly closed his eye as he willed himself not to be provoked. Wrex, Kaidan and Garrus exchanged uneasy glanced behind them.

"We'll talk more later," Shepard said quietly. He moved past Ashley, and as the others bid their goodbyes, they moved into the airlock. Casting one last glare at the closing doors behind them, Ashley stormed off back toward the stairs behind the CIC.

"Huh," said Joker. He turned back to Liara. "So am I the only one who feels like a kid whose parents are getting divorced right now?"

Liara closed her eyes and lightly rubbed her temples. "Unfortunately, no, Joker. You are not the only one with that impression right now."

"Oh good, I thought it was just me."

Liara sighed, leaning her head back on the seat to stare at the ceiling. "So what are your plans for tonight, Joker? Any interest in joining those of us going to Flux?"

"Wait, us?" Joker turned to her with a perplexed look. "You're actually going out tonight?" Liara merely shrugged in lieu of answering yes. "You know going out clubbing usually requires a certain amount of socializing, right?"

Liara rolled her eyes. "I am well aware of that. Though I have no intentions of becoming the center of attention. I just thought it might be a nice change of pace." She looked to Joker. "So what about you? No intention of coming along?"

"Naw, the club really isn't my scene. I can't dance, and most of the time the ladies aren't lining up to sit in my lap. All I can really do is drink, and I can do that just fine on my own."

She sat up straight in her chair as an idea popped into her mind. "I am not very good at dancing, and I will admit I do not generally attract a large number of admirers either." She fixed Joker with a coy look. "Although I am rather inexperienced when it comes to drinking at parties, perhaps there is a certain someone who would be willing to coach me?"

Joker gave her a lopsided grin. "Alright, you twisted my arm, T'Soni. But I'm warning you right now, we're not going to puss around with peach schnapps or crap like that. We're going straight for the shots!"

* * *

><p>Kaidan knew Wrex wasn't the lightest of people, but <em>goddamn<em> did he underestimate the Krogan's weight. And judging from Vakarian's labored breathing, he could guess Garrus likely made the wrong assumption as well. The pair of them each had one of Wrex's arms looped around their shoulders, supporting the Krogan who could barely stand on his own two feet. Wrex himself was wobbling his head from side to side; his features slack as he merrily hummed some song horribly out of tune.

Kaidan knew the Armax Arena idea was a bad one from the very beginning. Sure, things had started out innocently enough. Even with Shepard still being moody about his apparent argument with Ashley, the four of them had had a good time. Ash's system was good, but it couldn't create such varied and exciting environments like Armax could.

Kaidan had been having a jolly time with Shepard, Vakarian and Wrex until a group of uppity Salarian walked in. Ex-military or something like that, and they loved to run their mouths off about how their race was the apex species responsible for all the advancements made throughout the galaxy. They were especially vocal about how it was their influence that stopped the Krogan Rebellions.

On a normal day Wrex still wouldn't be happy about it, but Shepard could keep him in line. But today Wrex was drunk off of battle adrenaline and way too much ryncol. He still had the sense of mind not to kill any of them, but Kaidan knew most of those Salarians, while they did technically deserve it, wouldn't be out of the hospital for some time.

Of course C-Sec was called in, and when one of them raised their gun at Wrex, Kaidan was seriously afraid the simulated firefight arena would have an actual shootout on its hands. Instead, the C-Sec officer fired some kind of projectile needle injection that pierced Wrex's thigh, and the Krogan collapsed in mere seconds. When he came to again, Wrex was a dopy, happy, pushover of a Krogan who could barely walk straight. Thus why Kaidan and Vakarian were now forced to help him back to the Normandy.

Shepard smoothed things over with the cops and made sure the Salarians were compensated for their injuries. If any benefit had come out of this mission, it was that Shepard was extremely close to becoming a millionaire by selling all the guns and mods they didn't need. Armax was gracious and said Shepard and his company could come back again, wanting to stay in the good graces of the first Human Spectre, but asked that they leave for tonight and not come back for a week or so. Shepard was too happy to oblige and led them all back to the ship.

And here they were now, exiting the air lock and walking onto the main bridge. Well, Shepard was walking as he led them. Kaidan and Vakarian were half walking and half scraping their feet along the floor, and Wrex was flat out just being dragged. Thankfully no crew were in sight to see their sorry predicament, likely at Flux having a good time. If club music didn't give Kaidan a splitting migraine, he would envy them.

"I love you guys," Wrex blurted out. "I know I'm such a dick to you all the time, but you're seriously some of the best friends I've made in over two hundred years."

Kaidan groaned as he repositioned himself to help Wrex down the stairs leading to the second level. "Garrus, what exactly did C-Sec hit Wrex with?" he asked.

"A sedative designed specifically for Krogan," Garrus explained, his words strained from having to hoist Wrex's weight down the stairs. "It's engineered to target the endocrine system and neutralize the effect of their blood rage. Then it pumps some other chemicals in them that helps calm them down."

Wrex chortled happily. "I like chemicals. They make my head feel funny."

Just as Kaidan made it to the last step, Wrex lurched and pitched his weight forward. Kaidan let out an "Oomph!" as the hefty Krogan came down on top of him, and were it not for Shepard's quick intervention to grab Wrex's gut, Kaidan imagined he might have been turned into a pancake.

Wrex simply laughed some more and lolled his head to and fro as his friends corrected him. "Well that injection certainly is effective," Shepard wondered. "Maybe a bit too effective if you ask me."

"Yeah, looks like a double dose might have been too much for the big guy," Garrus commented idly.

Kaidan paused mid step to give Vakarian a suspicious look. "Garrus, how do you know they gave Wrex a double dose?"

That got Shepard's attention, and he furrowed his brow at the Turian as well. Garrus looked between the two humans, his mandibles fidgeting nervously. "Well, uh, I might have called some buddies of mine in C-Sec and explained just how… unique, a Krogan like Wrex is."

Shepard sighed sadly and shook his head. "Garrus, I'd be very disappointed right now if I weren't extremely grateful." He waved them onward. "Now come on. Let's put Wrex down for a nap and be done with today."

Kaidan and Garrus nodded, the both of them also ready to be done with the day's events. They led Wrex over to the Med Bay and stepped inside, expecting to give Chakwas a quick rundown of what happened and plop Wrex down in a bed for the night. However, the good Doctor was already attending to another patient. Tali was lying slack in one of the medical beds, and Chakwas was talking with Ashley and Liara, both of whom looked mildly concerned.

"What happened?" Shepard asked immediately, drawing the attention of the three women.

Ash sent a pleading look to Chakwas, and the doctor took the lead in the explanation. "It would appear Miss Zorah had a little bit too much to drink at the party. Ashley and Liara brought her back here when she started showing signs of excessive inebriation. She'll be fine, no alcohol poisoning or anything like that. I just want to keep her in the med bay for tonight." She eyed Wrex as Kaidan and Garrus eased him onto another one of the beds. "Though I think I should be asking what happened to you."

Shepard winced as he explained. "A group of Salarians came in and started causing trouble. Things got rowdy, and C-Sec used some kind of sedative on Wrex." He gestured to the lethargic Krogan now humming happily in the bed. "It ended up being a bit more effective than anticipated."

"I told you to keep him away from the Salarians," Ash said indignantly as she crossed her arms.

The commander sent a tired glare her way. "And I seem to recall telling you to keep an eye on Tali. How could let her have so many drinks?"

"It was just the one drink!" Ash responded angrily. "She said it was a favorite back on the fleet she never got to try before. After she got like this, I asked the bar keep what he gave her, and he called it, 'the dextro equivalent to ryncol.'"

Tali first pumped the air and exulted, "Totally worth it!" Then the tension left her arm and her hand flopped down onto her face mask. "Ow."

Shepard sighed and dragged a hand down his face. "I'm not dealing with this right now. Chakwas, just… make sure these two get some sleep," he said, indicating Wrex and Tali. "I'm going to go change." Without waiting for anyone to respond, Shepard turned and walked out of the med bay.

Watching him go helplessly, Kaidan sighed. "Come on, Garrus, let's just get Wrex in a bed." Chakwas came over to help lay him in one of her medical beds, making sure he rested on his side just in case he felt the need to throw up. Kaidan and Garrus relieved Wrex of his guns and other equipment.

Looking dejected, Ashley walked past them to exit the med bay. Kaidan tried to grab her attention. "Ashley, hold on a minute?"

"Not now, Kaidan," she said sadly without looking at him. Before he had a chance to respond Ash was already walking out the door.

Kaidan huffed a breath of air and stepped aside to let Chakwas attend to Wrex. He, Garrus, and Liara huddled a few feet away. "So is everyone else at Flux doing alright?" he asked the Asari.

"As well as they can be," she responded demurely. "When we left most of the crew were either dancing or joining Joker in a game of 'Spin the Bottle,' whatever that is. As far as I could tell everyone was having a good time, with no problems to speak of."

"Well at least we don't have to worry about them," Kaidan said, running a hand through his hair. "Look, whatever happened between Shepard and Ash has gone on long enough, and we need to put an end to it. Garrus, do you think you could-"

"Oh no!" Garrus cut in. As he relieved Kaidan of Wrex's guns he said, "Tonight all I'm doing is putting Wrex's stuff away and going back to work on the Mako. I am not getting in the middle of the Commander's and the Chief's little lover spat."

"But you are Shepard's closest friend!" Liara stated. "Surely he would listen to you?"

Garrus shook his head. "This is their problem, and they can fix it themselves. I'm not getting involved." Garrus took a step away toward the door. "I'll leave you two to play match maker. As for me, I bid you all goodnight."

Before Kaidan or Liara could protest, Garrus took his trove of equipment and made for the door. Chakwas nodded at him as he passed.

"Goodnight sexy!" said the inebriated Quarian from across the room. Garrus paused for a moment, looked like he had to suppress a small shudder, then exited the med bay.

Kaidan turned back to Liara. "You're still willing to help me, right?"

Liara's eyes crinkled with sympathy. "I will assist in whatever capacity I can, but I am not sure how much help I can be."

"Well you can go have a girl chat with Ash and I can try to talk some sense into Shepard."

She gave him an uneasy expression. "Are you sure that is wise? I very nearly became a threat to her relationship with Shepard. I think you talking with Ashley might be a better use of our skills."

"How would I do any better?" Kaidan asked incredulously. "Ash still hates me for sleeping with her sister last week. She's not going to listen to me."

"Well in case you haven't noticed, I've never actually been a serious relationship, much less one with a human. I do not have the knowledge to help with something like this."

Kaidan pressed a hand to his forehead, already starting to feel a migraine come on. One of them would have to talk to Ash, but it was obvious they wouldn't come to a clear decision just by talking about it.

"Liara, have you ever heard of a game called Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

* * *

><p>At this time, if one were to step out onto the cargo bay, one would think it to be completely empty. However, the cargo bay did have one occupant. Currently he was hidden from view underneath the Mako.<p>

After the day's events, Garrus was content to work on the tank by himself in silence. From all the drama between Shepard and Ashley to almost being arrested by C-Sec, doing maintenance was thankfully lacking in stress.

This was what Garrus had been afraid of when he first found out about Shepard and Ashley being together. Though he supposed he couldn't really talk considering how melodramatic things got with Chloe toward the end. If anything Garrus hoped this would just be a onetime thing, and not lead his two friends down a path Garrus had unfortunately already experienced once.

Garrus paused in his work when he heard footsteps coming his way. He angled his head backward to try and get a better look, but from his vantage point Garrus could only make out the person's boots and lower shins. One of the human crew, by the looks of the Alliance issued boots and blue pants. And judging from the slightly airy gate to their step, Garrus could guess it was Ashley.

She stopped a foot away from the Mako, and her feet shifted from one direction to the next. Probably looking for him, he figured. Garrus had a flashlight secured with his mouth to keep his hands free, so he gingerly placed his tools down and removed the electronic device from his mouth.

He was just about to speak up when the sound of the elevator opening drew both of their attention. Garrus angled his head to see Shepard walk in. He paused for a second when he caught sight of Ashley, but his confidence quickly came back and he strode purposefully toward her. Ash stepped closer to the Mako, and her legs became somewhat slanted. Garrus guessed she was leaning against the tank now.

"You looking for Garrus too?" Ashley asked as Shepard got closer.

"Yeah," said Shepard, and now Garrus could only see his lower legs as well since he was so close to the Mako. "Just looking for someone to talk to."

It was then Garrus realized neither of them actually knew he was there. The undercarriage of the Mako must block him sight. He was going to correct their mistake, but a sudden thought stilled his words. This was the first time all day Shepard and Ashley were together and not harping at each other. For now Garrus could keep quiet, just to see how this panned out.

"Well, I'm here," Ash stated. "You can talk to me if you want."

"Is that really the best idea for the two of us right now?" Shepard asked seriously.

"Well, what else are we supposed to do? Not talk and just keep glaring at each other whenever we're in the same room?"

Garrus couldn't see how Shepard responded to that, but the two of them lapsed into an awkward silence. For a straight minute neither Shepard nor Ash said anything, shifting their stances from foot to foot. Spirits, were he and Chloe this awkward when they were first starting out? This was almost painful for Garrus to (not) listen to.

And suddenly Shepard chuckled for no apparent reason. "What?" Ashley asked him.

"I might be a terrible person, but… it's actually kind of funny to see Tali drunk. She gets so… clumsy."

Ash chuckled herself. "You should have heard her on the way back to the ship. Wouldn't shut up about how perfect Garrus was."

Garrus felt his neck warm. He really didn't need to know the barely legal Quarian girl was gushing about him while she was inebriated.

Ash went on saying, "And Wrex is actually fun to be around when he's all drugged up. He's so dorky."

"Totally. Oh, and don't ever let him drink before a mission. It does horrible things to his accuracy." Garrus could attest to that. At one point it felt like Wrex was hitting him more often than the enemy simulations.

For some reason Shepard continued to laugh for no reason. Ash must have given him a look, because he explained, "Uh, at Armax they let you do this thing where you can pretend to be a biotic or an engineer, because they can simulate how the powers react during combat. So for one game I decided to try out a Sentinel build, like Kaidan's, just to see what it was like."

Shepard shifted his weight to the leg closer to the Mako, probably leaning on the vehicle as well now. Scuffing up the paint job with their greasy human hands. "Kaidan tells me all the time how using his powers play hell with his accuracy, but I never thought it was as bad as he made it out to be."

"You found out the hard way how wrong you were, huh?"

"I got my ass handed to me is what happened! I swear, I threw out a Warp and a couple Throws and all of sudden I couldn't hit a damn thing. My Thunder was so inaccurate I had to switch to my pistol just to make some of my shots land."

Garrus remembered that match. Shepard's accuracy wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be. Certainly not as bad as Wrex's, that was for damn sure.

But from the way Ashley giggled, Garrus could guess was Shepard purposefully mussing over the finer details. "Glad I wasn't the only one acting like a dumbass tonight," she told him.

"How's that?" Shepard asked.

"Well…" Ash started, shifting on her feet nervously again. "Richard and I ended up at a table together at some point."

Richard? As in Joans? The Requisitions Officer? What did he have to do with this?

Ash went on, "We were just talking, and I thought it was innocent enough, but Richard sort of… leaned in for a kiss."

That took Garrus by surprise. He had no idea Joans felt like that about Ash, which was sad considering he and Joans spent most of the day within twenty meters of each other.

"Ah," said Shepard. Garrus could almost see the muscles in the backs of his legs tense up. "And how did you react?"

"Poorly. I freaked out, and I might have broken his nose as I tried to get away."

"Ouch. Is he okay?"

"Oh sure, physically he's fine. Emotionally, well… I sat him down again and explained I didn't see him that way. I could tell it wasn't what he wanted to hear, but he understood."

"Understood? Does he…?"

"No, he has no idea about us. I used some excuse about still getting over what happened on Eden Prime and how I couldn't deal with a boyfriend right now."

"Oh, well, good." Shepard paused a moment. "Look, I know this might sound petty, but I'm glad you set him straight. Knowing he was interested in you unnerved me a bit more than it should."

Ash sighed and took a step closer to Shepard. "Look, I probably would have gone to the party anyway, but I shouldn't have said yes to Richard like that in front of you. I know how being around him makes you feel, and I shouldn't have gotten back at you like that. It was stupid and… I'm sorry."

"And… I'm sorry too," Shepard said quietly as he took a step closer to her. "Dragging you with me to see Sha'ira was beyond childish. I should have known better than that."

_Wait, back up. Sha'ira? As in the Consort? The one Asari who's so revered it literally takes a year or more just to meet her? What exactly did you people _do_ today?_

"Then I'm sorry about Lang," Ashley confessed. "I know you didn't ask for Wong to hit on you like that, but I was just so mad. I wasn't thinking straight, and I shouldn't have tried goading you on like I did."

"To be honest I'm really not mad about that, because I know it was my fault to begin with." Ashley sounded like she was about to say something, but Shepard cut her off. "No, I was wrong. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It was wrong of me to try and decide for you what I thought was best. I know you're one of the most capable soldiers here, and I was an idiot not to remember that."

"But I am just a soldier," Ash admitted as she took a half step away. "I know I don't have any biotics or tech like the rest of the guys. They're not as… limited as I am."

"And you're right," said Shepard, catching both Ashley and Garrus off guard. He stepped closer until the two of them were right on top of each other, and Garrus imagined Shepard would have taken Ashley's hands in his own. "Look, Ash, you are different from the rest of the guys, but not because of your limitations. If need be, I could continue this mission without Kaidan or Liara or Garrus."

Garrus felt a mild stab of annoyance at that. Sure, Shepard didn't _need_ him, but Garrus knew how to make this mission a lot more stylish.

In a lower voice, Shepard went on saying, "But I couldn't do this without you, Ash. I need you. I need you because I know when the chips are down and the shit hits the fan you'll always be there, helping me dig myself out of the hole I created. That's why I bought the new rifles, because I want you to have the best gear. I just… want you to be safe. I try to find the best equipment for you because I don't want you to end up hurt or-"

Ash suddenly stepped closer and Shepard's words were abruptly cut off. "I love your speeches, John," Ash said in a breathy whisper, "but we have seriously got to teach you not to talk so much."

Now their bodies were even closer together, and Shepard let out a quiet, "Mmph," as Ash bent one of her knees toward him.

Garrus deflated upon himself, and subconsciously brought up a finger to drag over his mouth plates. Kissing was definitely not a Turian thing. Garrus had heard about it from friends who had done it with other species, but the thought of doing it himself had never crossed his mind. That was, until he met Chloe Michel.

The first couple months had been extremely awkward for them, intimacy wise, finding out what did and did not work. Garrus thought kissing would be a waste since he didn't have lips, but Chloe had insisted they try it at least once. God_damn_ was he glad she'd insisted. He could still remember how soft her lips felt against him and how it drove him wild. He remembered the small moans she would make as he pressed back, remembered the smell of her shampoo, remembered the funny sweet taste of her cherry chap stick-

Garruse was jarred from his memories at the sound of a _thump._ The two humans had re-positioned themselves, and Shepard now had Ashley backed up against the Mako. Now the two of them were moaning wantonly, and Garrus could see their feet constantly moving as they caressed each other.

"Now," he heard Ash say in a voice leaden with lust, followed soon by the sounds of clothing rustling and clasps being undone.

"Now?" Shepard asked. "You really think we'll make it all the way up to my cabin when," Shepard trailed off and let out a groan in response to something Ash did, "when you're doing that?"

"Too far," Ashley gasped out. Abruptly her feet started moving away, with Shepard's feet stumbling after hers. Ash led him to the front of the Mako before stopping again. She stood in between Shepard and the tank again, but now her feet were pointed inward, toward the Mako. From the angle of her legs Garrus got the impression she was leaning on the vehicle again, but she was standing too far away for it to possibly be any comfortable. What was she up to-

And suddenly Ash's pants pooled around her ankles, and Garrus felt his lower jaw drop in shock. Shepard chuckled as he stepped closer to her. "My my, Miss Williams. Aren't you a naughty girl?"

"I never said I was a good girl," Ashley teased, and Garrus could see her now bare legs shimmy from side to side. "What are you gonna do about?"

A slap reverberated throughout the quiet cargo hold, and Ashley hissed with pleasure.

_Oh _s_pirits,_ Garrus realized in horror. _They're not… they're not doing what I think they're doing. Are they?_

Shepard spoke in a low, predatory tone. "Well I think I should punish this naughty girl for all the trouble she's caused me today." A smaller piece of black cloth joined Ash's pants on the floor, and from her mewls, Garrus figured Ash wasn't at all opposed to being punished.

Garrus cursed his luck and every deity he could think of. What had he done to be stuck in a situation like this? And how could it possibly get worse?

Garrus really wished he hadn't thought the last part.

Before he knew what was happening, Shepard was on his knees behind Ash's legs. Garrus could see his belt and fly were undone now, but thankfully Garrus couldn't see anything that might scar him emotionally, and Shepard still couldn't see him.

He had only a moment to register Shepard's new position before Ash moaned out, "Oh goooooood!"

Any hope Garrus had that this wasn't happening shattered in an instant. Shepard and Ash were actually going to have sex right there in the cargo hold, blissfully unaware of how they were torturing their Turian friend, and he was stuck there until-

…

_I'm stuck here until they're done!_

_Oh fuck everything,_ Garrus thought forlornly as Ash cried out in ecstasy.

* * *

><p>Karin was surrounded by children.<p>

Oh sure, the youngest person on the crew was actually a twenty two year old Quarian. But then again said Quarian and their resident badass Krogan warlord were both laying in her medical beds acting like they had tummy aches. Shepard and Williams were acting like a couple of high schoolers after a bad break up, and now Alenko and T'Soni were using _games_ to decide who would talk to them.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

…

"Liara… I have no idea what that is."

"This is a mineral de-atomizer. We in the archeology field use these to break down small chunks of rock into their most basic elements in order to better learn just how old they are."

Alenko sighed and let his 'rock' drop. "Liara, we've already gone over this. Just use paper if you think I'm going to throw a rock."

"I still fail to see how a piece of paper could stop a rock."

"It's just a game, Liara! It doesn't have to make sense. Now let's try this again."

Liara pouted. "You're only getting mad because I won."

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Chakwas exclaimed, catching both Liara and Kaidan off guard. She stood up from her chair and fixed them both with a strict look. "Are you two listening to yourselves? I swear the entire crew has regressed in maturity since this mission began."

Tali giggled from her bed. "Someone's in troublllllllle!" she slurred. That got a chuckle out of Wrex as well.

Chakwas waved her hand at them. "See? This is what I'm talking about. When did everyone forget to act like adults on this ship?"

Alenko gulped nervously and glanced between her and Liara. "Well, I mean…"

She silenced him with a swipe of her hand through the air. Chakwas closed her eyes and placed two fingers each on her temples, willing herself to calm down. After a moment she opened her eyes again, and in a calmer voice, said, "I am going to go speak with Shepard and Williams, and I'm going to convince them to get over themselves."

Chawas moved past them and paused at the door to look back to Liara and Kaidan and say, "And I expect the two of you to be out of my med bay by the time I come-"

She'd palmed the door control to let her out, but instead Chakwas walked into something else. She looked back to find Officer Vakarian standing in the doorway. She was surprised, not by his presence, but by what she saw. Chakwas wasn't the best at making out Turian facial expressions, but she knew the thousand yard stare when she saw it. Whatever had happened in the lapse of time between him leaving and now, it must have left him deeply unnerved.

"Do you need assistance with something, Officer Vakarian?" Chakwas asked cautiously.

His blue eyes roved over her impassively, and she could see his mandibles trembling slightly. Vakarian looked at each of the med bay's current occupants one by one, all with that same deadened stare.

"Shepard and Wiliams are back together," he stated quietly, like a guilty confession.

At that moment Chakwas heard the elevator doors opening. She, Alenko, and T'Soni all peeked over Vakarian's shoulder to see Shepard and Ashley walk out of the lift, hand in hand, talking and laughing cheerily as they moved to ascend the stairs leading to the bridge.

Behind them Wrex let out a guffaw of laughter. "Nice smell, Garrus! What, did Shepard and Williams tie you down and fuck on top of you or something?"

Vakarian visibly winced at the words, and he pointedly ignored them. Instead, he looked to Alenko and asked, "Can you meet me down in the cargo bay with the disinfectant wash?"

"Uh, sure, Garrus," the lieutenant replied warily. "Care to tell me why?"

"Just… bring the disinfectant," Vakarian muttered sadly as he began to walk back to the lift. Chakwas looked back at the young man, but Alenko merely shrugged and walked out to go find the cleaning fluid.

Chakwas shook her head and let the doors close as she walked back to her chair. "Well I'm glad that's over with." She opened up her personal stash and got out the bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy she always kept on hand, pouring herself a generous shot. She offered a glass to Liara, but she politely declined.

"I too am glad Shepard and Ashley worked past their differences," Liara said as she sat down in the chair next to Chakwas. "It is not fitting to see them fight."

"Well, we can agree on that," Karin commented idly as she sipped at her drink. She sighed wistfully as she swirled the amber liquid in its glass. "Sometimes I wonder if Miss Williams truly understands how lucky she is to have a person like Shepard."

A moment's pause. "Were I thirty years younger, I would have done terrible things to that man."

Liara let out a sound halfway between a gasp and a choked sob.

* * *

><p><em>Author's note: Guys, I am REALLY sorry my updates have been so sporadic. I was dealing with a lot of issues over the summer. And the more time I had to spend working on those issues, the more it drained my motivation to work on Soldiers. <em>

_And unfortunately, I also started college last week. I don't have too many classes, and thus far the work really isn't that bad, but going forward my personal stories will have to come after my schoolwork. I don't plan on abandoning Soldiers, not at all. I pretty much have the whole trilogy planned out, and quite frankly working on this story gives me a sense of accomplishment and happiness I can't find elsewhere._

_I guess what I'm saying is don't expect for updates to be routine. Chapters will probably be posted sporadically as my schedule allows. Some might take a couple weeks, and others might take a couple months._

_But I promise if you can be patient with me, I will strive to give you the best story I possibly can. Thank you all so much for showing so much love for Soldiers. As I've said before, it's everyone's support of me that helps me find the will to keep going._


	16. Chapter 16 - Old Demons

Mass Effect is owned and Operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Chapter 16 – Old Demons…

* * *

><p>Ashley didn't mind falling from thousands of meters in the air, onto a potentially unlivable andor hostile planet, in a small tube of metal and mass effect generators, that only three non Krogan sized people could fit into comfortably.

It was just the sudden stop at the end she didn't like.

She felt her teeth chatter against each other and the back of her helmet smack against the bulkhead as the Mako touched down, slamming into the ground before bouncing back up only to come crashing down again. It bounced along for several dozen meters more until finally rolling to a stop. Ash and Garrus let out a shared sigh of relief now the worst part was over. By second nature she stretched her back to work out the fresh set of kinks along her spine Shepard always managed to create during their landings.

Whilst scanning planets in the Sparta System of the Artemis Tau Cluster, the _Normandy_ picked up a distress signal from an Alliance Marines unit. Logically assuming this was the missing recon team Admiral Kahoku asked them to find, Shepard ordered for a shore party to go and investigate.

"What's our technical status, Vakarian?" Shepard asked over his shoulder from the driver's seat.

Garrus typed a series of commands into his console. "Shields and armor integrity are at one hundred percent. Sensor readings are optimal, comm. status is strong, and all outside cameras are fully functioning. We're in the green, commander."

Shepard brought up the holographic interface that would allow him to see directly in front of the vehicle and aid his driving. "And how's our guns, Chief?"

Ash checked over the readings on the screen next to her gunner's chair. "155 millimeter mass accelerator cannon and coaxial machine guns are both fully loaded, safeties off, primed to go." She thumbed the movement control to move the turret on top of the Mako clockwise, and she watched through her holographic view port as it panned over the dusty, craggy landscape. "Weapons have full horizontal and vertical movement. Crosshair magnification is operational. You give the word, and I'll hit a roach from five hundred meters."

"Let's save our ammo for targets that are a bit more high priority," Shepard joked. "Suspension is optimal, navigation is operational, and steering is responsive. Alright, boys and girls, looks like we're good to go."

Shepard revved the Mako's engine, and Ash and Garrus both tensed up as they remembered there _was_ a part worse than falling in the Mako from low atmo.

Shepard's driving.

As he drove along, he called back, "So where exactly are we headed, Garrus?"

"I'm putting the waypoint up on your radar," the Turian replied, his dual toned voice flanging wildly whenever the vehicle jostled from driving over a rock or ridge. "Just head North by North-West and we should be seeing the recon team pretty soon."

They sped along the alien landscape of Edolus, kicking up a plume of yellow-brown dust in their wake. There really wasn't much to see on the planet. Both the ground and the dust laden atmosphere were a bland shade of murky brown, and as far as the eye could see were nothing but rocky outcroppings. Ash was just glad the landscape was barren, rather than punctuated by lakes of lava or beset by massive snow storms like other planets they've been to.

The Mako drove on, whipping along the rocky surface and bouncing off of hills or rocks Shepard drove into out of whimsy. The vehicle's mass effect field generator and suspension system helped to nullify the effects of the bumping, although Ashley still had to will herself to keep her breakfast down as she was jostled from side to side so much. From the sounds of things, Garrus wasn't fairing any better than her.

At least Shepard was having a good time. After one particularly large bump that actually lifted them out of their seats, he yelled, "I have to hand it to you, Garrus! This thing handles a lot more smoothly than when we first started this mission!"

Garrus groaned without restraint. "I have no idea how you humans survived so long designing vehicles this dangerous to the passenger's health. If a Turian presented a design like this to the Hierarchy, they would have been laughed out of the government."

"Don't be so hard on the Mako, Garrus," Ash protested. She grimaced as Shepard swerved sharply to miss a boulder she knew he'd seen from further away. "You shouldn't blame the machine when it has such a poor operator."

"Yeah, yeah, ha ha, everyone's such a goddamn comedian," Shepard remarked dryly. "I'd like to see either of you drive better than this."

"I readily accept that challenge!" Garrus piped in. "Just let me have the wheel and I'll show you what I can do. Seriously, just stop driving and let me have a turn, for all our sakes."

"Not a chance big guy," Shepard replied with a grin. "So tell me, Garrus, how are things going between you and Tali?"

Garrus near instantly became gloomier of demeanor. "I do not want to have this conversation," he said dejectedly.

Ashley leaned over in her seat so she could nudge Garrus with her boot. "Yeah, but we do," she told him cheekily. "Spill, Vakarian."

The Turian let out a defeated sigh. "As of late Miss Zorah seems to be incapable of looking me in the eye. That's taking into account of course that she hasn't already fled the room within seconds of me entering."

Ashley cackled evilly. "Good God am I glad her suit's audio recorder kept going all night at Flux. I wish I could have seen her face when she listened to the playback."

Shepard laughed haughtily as he reached back to pat Garrus on the shoulder, who let out a low keen of despair. "Aw, don't fret Garrus. If you ask me, I think you two make a cute couple."

"I am not cute! I am puckishly rogue, and there is nothing between Tali and I. I think she's a nice, but she was just drunk that night. There are absolutely no feelings from either us for the other."

"Oh sure, keep denying you heart, Garrus," Ashley teased. "I guarantee love will win out in the end."

"I hate you both," Garrus muttered.

"We love you too, Garrus," said Shepard. A ping drew his attention to the radar, and Shepard became serious once more. "We're nearing the beacon. Time to put our game faces on."

Ashley sobered and drew her attention back to her weapons. The_ Normandy_ hadn't picked up any signals indicating there might be enemies set up in ambush, but it didn't hurt to be prepared.

The Mako crested over a ridge, and all of a sudden the jostling and bumping was replaced with smooth sailing. Clearly confused, Shepard slowed the vehicle to a slower pace before stopping altogether, and Ashley panned her weapons over the change in landscape. Where before they drove over boulders and rocks, now there was nothing but smooth dusty surface. It was almost as if they were in a bowl, as Ash could see more ridges surrounding the basin several kilometers away.

Garrus let out an odd trill as he scanned the new landscape. "Do you humans have this thing where it feels like there's a leaden weight in the bottom of your stomach when you think something bad is about to happen?"

"Yeah, we call it a gut feeling," Ash responded as she warily surveyed the land ahead of them. It was completely flat, nothing was hidden from her. That didn't stop her from feeling like her guts were twisting up on the inside.

Something popped up in her view, and Ash zoomed in on it. "Commander, I have a visual on a vehicle straight ahead, can't be more than a klick away. Looks like a Grizzly, but I can't tell what it or the crew's status is."

The interior of the Mako was quiet. Ash pulled back from her instruments to get a look at Shepard. Their commander was staring straight ahead, like he hadn't even heard her. Ash could hear the material of the steering controls squeak as Shepard gripped them with intensity, and his shoulders were tensed up.

Garrus looked up from his instruments, taken off guard by the commander's silence. "Shepard?"

Shepard cast a dark glance backward before turning back to his steering controls, starting to push the Mako forward again. "Vakarian, I want your eyes on that radar," he told the Turian in a grave voice, "I want to know the second something that doesn't look right pops up. Williams, keep your finger on the trigger of those guns."

"Aye, sire," Ash responded, trepidation constantly beginning to build up in her chest. Garrus looked back at her, and they shared look that spoke volumes about their shared unease with the situation. She gave Garrus a small nod, hoping it seemed confident enough, and they both turned back to their respective tasks.

Where Ashley had been unsettled before, seeing Shepard like this put her on edge. He rarely ever called her Williams any more, either to tease her with the name or to keep up a semblance of professionalism in front of those they didn't need knowing about their relationship. But now was not one of those situations. Ash has never seen her lover look this unnerved before.

The Mako trekked along the flat surface at a conservative pace. Without the rumble of uneven terrain and the goodhearted banter of friends, the inside of the Mako is eerily quiet. Ash can see Garrus' mandibles are pulled tight to his cheeks, and he attends to his systems with an overly careful ministration. Even Ash herself is sitting ram rod straight in her seat, and she jerks the view port of her guns in odd directions, feeling like an ambush is certainly imminent.

When they are close enough for Ash to clearly make out the image of the Alliance Grizzly, a static burst sounded from Garrus' terminal, making Ash jump from how sharply it cut through the silence inside the cabin.

A frantic edge to his voice, Garrus announced, "Commander, I'm getting some strange seismic activity. I don't know what's-"

His words were cut off when Shepard slammed on the breaks, pitching all three of them forward as the Mako came to an abrupt stop. Ashley was going to make a rude comment about Shepard's driving when the ground in front of them exploded.

As small debris of rock peppered the Mako, Ashley zoomed in on what she thought would be a crater. Instead she found an overly large trunk, pale orange in coloring, curving upward into the sky away from them.

Garrus looked over Shepard's shoulder at the massive object, looking every bit as terrified as Ashley felt. "Commander?"

As if it heard the sound of the Turian's voice, the great beast coiled itself around to face the intruders to its domain, giving them a clear view of what Ash assumed to be its face. The beast had a plated head, with a pair of large sinister looking mandibles on either side of its 'mouth.' It sports four large 'eyes' that glowed with an unnatural blue light. The gaping mouth was a fearsome sight, lined with fangs that looked to be as thick as a human male. Its fat blue tongue lolled out of it mouth, dripping a sickly green liquid that sizzled the ground where it landed.

Pictures and fuzzy photos do little to prepare her for how terrifying the real thing is. In her wildest nightmares, Ashley never thought she'd ever face one of these monstrosities in real life.

A Thresher Maw.

For several tense moments, nothing moves. The Maw glowers at them, breathing heavily and letting loose even more acidic goop from its mouth. The crew of the Mako sit in stunned silence, unprepared for an adversary such as this.

Tearing her gaze away from the spawn of hell, Ashley looked to Shepard for orders, but she finds fear has gripped him as well. While she can't see his face, she knows Shepard must be staring wide eyed at the demon from his past. The Maw has cast a curse over the steadfast commander, and he has been reduced to immobile stone.

"Shepard!" Ashley yelled at him, hoping to jar him from his nightmares. It does nothing and Shepard neither moves nor responds.

It must have decided it was done sizing up its next meal, as the Thresher Maw let out an unholy screech that made all three humanoids in the Mako grimace from their oratory senses being assaulted. The beast reared its head back, preparing to strike.

Without waiting for Shepard's order, Ashley grit her teeth and activated the 155 millimeter cannon. They felt more than heard the boom inside of the Mako as the vehicle was jostled from the force of the launch. Through her scope Ash watched a plume of flame erupt on the Maw's face right where she aimed. The creature threw its head back and let out another god-awful screech, but to her dismay Ashley did not deter the beast. It faced them once more, and Ash could only make out a scorch mark where the round landed.

She tried to fire the cannon again, but it was still stuck in its reload period. Garrus was yelling something, trying to get the still catatonic Shepard's attention. As the Maw prepared to attack once more, Ashley panicked. They'd be dead in the water if Shepard didn't snap out of it right now.

So, Ash reverted to the one thing she was good at. Yelling.

"John! Drive the fucking car!"

In one swift motion Shepard cranked the control into reverse and jammed his foot to the accelerator, making them all pitch forward as the Mako sped backward. Not a second later the Maw snapped toward them, letting loose a geyser of foul yellow green liquid that landed where the Mako had once been. The ground sizzled and boiled as the acidic liquid impacted, melting in upon itself.

Shepard stopped the Mako just as sharply as he reversed, putting the gear back to forward momentum and immediately starting to circle strafe around the Maw. "Use the machine gun on the blue glowing bits!" Shepard yelled back to Ashley, his commanding voice instilling a calming effect on her despite the severity of the situation. "Save the cannon for when you have a clear shot at the seam where its head meets its body. Vakarian, you keep an eye on our systems and that thing's vitals. I want call outs if either of those dip."

"Yes sir," Garrus responded, calmer himself now that Shepard was back to normal. "That thing has a lot of armor, but it's easy to chip away at. Just don't let it get too close."

"Leave that to me," Ash announced as she unloaded the machine gun's ammunition onto the Maw's face. The thing screamed with pure hatred as it was attacked. It launched another volley of toxic spit at them before retreating underground. Ash could see the surface Edolus' dusty landscape displace as the Maw chased after them beneath the surface. "It's coming for us!"

"I can't track its movements while it's underground," said Garrus. If Shepard heard him, he chose not to respond. Shepard swerved the Mako to the right, avoiding a collision with the Maw as it popped up in their prior path. Ash unleashed the cannon once more, and was rewarded with a small chunk of flesh flying off the Maw's neck as it bellowed in pain. It tried to bring down its mighty jaws on the small Mako, but Shepard managed to maneuver out of the beast's grasp.

It went on like that for several minutes, a period of time that seemed indefinitely longer to Ashley as they danced with death. Shepard kept the Mako moving at all costs, and the Thresher Maw would continually go back underground to change positions. Again and again and again it would try to ambush them, but Shepard was in the zone now. Even without Garrus's instruments to track the Maw, Shepard always seemed to know where it was. He could predict where the Maw would attack and avoid imminent destruction.

The Thresher Maw's acid attacks were generally slow enough to avoid, but the beast was learning. It was starting to lead its shots so that the acid would land in the Mako's projected path. Shepard did his best to avoid it, but enough acid was still impacting the Mako and draining its shields.

All the while, Ashley never let off the trigger. She would pepper the Maw with their machine to keep it distracted, and then hit it with the cannon whenever she had an opening. For all the abuse the Mako was taking, they were giving a whole lot more back.

Ashley hit it with another cannon round, and this time it impacted one of the 'eyes' on the Maw's face. The Thresher Maw shrieked with pain as the blue pustule burst open, raining down viscous liquids upon the immediate area as the Maw shook its head back and forth.

As it retreated back underground again, Garrus said, "The Maw's vitals are starting to spike and its armor is below fifteen percent. A few more good hits should take it down. Our shields are holding at fifty two percent and our armor is stable at seventy six percent."

"Can you activate the repair protocols?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, but they won't do much good if we keep moving. The shield generator took a hit and our shields can barely regenerate as is. And we don't have the option to stop for a minute and let Omni Gel do its thing."

"Re-prioritize any non -essential systems to our guns, shields and armor. Just keep us alive, Garrus."

As they spoke, Ashley roved her sights over the landscape, unnerved by the sudden lull in the battle. The seismic readings weren't picking up any movement, and the ground was as flat as can be without the Maw upheaving everything as it moved underground. It was like the Maw had up and vanished on them.

"Do you think we scared it off?" she asked warily.

Shepard answered in a grave voice. "Thresher Maws are territorial to the extreme. If they stake a claim to a tract of land, they won't ever leave until they're good and dead." His voice lowered, like he was muttering to himself. "Now where did you go, you bastard?"

Ash didn't like this. It may just be an animal, but that didn't mean the Thresher Maw was dumb. And like any good predator that has survived for this long, it's learned to change tactics when it starts losing.

All of a sudden Garrus's seismic readings started going haywire, and the ground beneath them began to shake even more than it previously had. Ashley's stomach dropped. She knew the Maw was done playing around with them.

Shepard must have come to the same realization, because he jammed his foot to the break and turned sharply to get them off of their current trajectory. Not a second later the Maw burst forth from underground once more, this time reaching even higher into the air it was traveling at such a high velocity. Shepard tried to drive away, but the ground they drove upon was shattered and displaced by the Maw's upheaval.

With a mighty bellow the Thresher Maw swung its head downward, and Ash could only watch helplessly as the beast's head aimed for their vehicle. Carapace and metal met with a loud _thunk_, and the Mako was sent flying from the Maw's impact. Ash held on for dear life as they sailed through the air, only to be thrown form her seat as the Mako collided with the ground. Her helmeted head smacked against the interior bulkhead, and for a brief moment Ash saw her vision go black and white.

The Mako rolled on without mercy before eventually stopping, thankfully right side up thanks to its vertically aligned mass effect field. Ashley groaned as she picked herself up off the floor of the Mako, clutching at her side where her hud said she'd fractured a rib or two. The interior lights and several terminals blared red, informing the dazed crew of all the damage the Mako suffered from the Maw's last attack.

"Is everyone alright?" she heard Shepard huff out, pulling himself back into the driver's seat.

"Everything hurts like a bitch, but other than that I'm okay," Ash responded. She picked herself and leaned over to Garrus, trying to shake some life into him. The Turian was slack in his seat and his eyes were closed, but Ash could still hear him muttering incoherently, so at least he was still alive.

"I think Garrus has a concussion," she told Shepard. She looked over his shoulder at his terminal. "Our shields are down and our armor's not much better. We can't take another serious hit."

"We don't have time to worry about that, Ash," Shepard barked. "Get back on the guns before this things pile drives us into oblivion."

Ashley watched the forward camera view over Shepard's shoulder, the image grainy and flickering in and out now. The Thresher Maw screeched again and retreated underground. She watched it race toward them beneath the surface, honing in on the kill.

Ash scrambled back to the turret and strapped herself in. "Shit!" she exclaimed when she tried to aim the guns. "My targeting is down. I'm blind back here."

"Do our weapons still have functionality?" Shepard asked her.

She doubled checked her load outs. "The cannon and the machine can both still fire, and I can still aim with them. I just can't see where I'm aiming."

Shepard breathed in deeply before letting the air out. "Ash, you're probably not going to like this, but I need you to line up the cannon with the Mako and aim it as high up as you can. Fire on my mark exactly."

Ash did as she was ordered and primed the cannon to fire. Shepard revved the Mako forward. Their steering and acceleration weren't nearly as good as before, but at least they were still moving. Ash knew they weren't fast enough to strafe around the Maw like before, but it still took her off guard when Shepard drove toward the oncoming Maw, rather than away from it.

"John?" she asked, her voice as frantic as she felt.

"Just trust me, Ash," was his calm reply. Ashley looked away from her instruments to look at Shepard. For some reason the position of his left arm didn't look quite right, and from her position she could see a large crack had splintered through his visor.

But John Shepard was not panicking, or succumbing to his fears. They were up Shit Creek with no paddle and a hole in their boat, but Shepard forged on in the face of adversity. If her commander, closest friend and lover could overcome his fears, then Ashley Williams could as well.

With new found determination, Ashley turned back to her guns, ready to fire when commanded. The Thresher Maw burst forth from underground in front of them, already coiling backward to make a final lunge at the wounded Mako. But instead of veering out of the way, Shepard dauntlessly drove onward, straight toward the beast.

"Wait for it," he commanded with an edge. Ashley kept her finger on the trigger but refused to pull it yet.

With one last victorious screech, the Maw lunged for them. Shepard jammed the acceleration to the floor, making their velocity increase by just enough.

Just as the Maw's face disappeared from their view and all Ash could see was its battled marred trunk, Shepard yelled, "Now!"

Closing her eyes and sending off a quick prayer, Ashley pulled the trigger. The Maw must have been right on top of them, because the blast of the explosion was deafening inside the Mako. As the occupants inside were buffeted from the force of the blast, the Maw wailed in anguish, and behind them Ash heard the sound of something colliding with the ground followed by a swift _crack_.

Shepard veered away from the Maw, narrowly getting them out of the way as the beast's body crashed to the ground. He brought them around and angled the Mako toward the Thresher to see its state.

_Must have been a long fall from the top of the food chain,_ Ash thought wryly. The cannon round had landed just beneath the Maw's head, and the monster's armor was already weak enough that it punched straight through to the more fleshier bits on the inside. Now there was a gaping gash along the seam where its head met its body, spewing forth blood and other fluids to pool around it.

What looked to be vertebrae speared out of the other side of its neck. Probably the cracking sound they heard, as the Maw had been forced off its trajectory and collided with the ground at an angle non-conducive to its burrowing habits.

The creature was still alive, as evidenced by its labored breathing. When it started slithering back into its hole at a slow pace, Ashley brought her attention back to her guns to put it out of its misery.

"One more shot should do the trick," she claimed tiredly, exhaustion starting to beat out adrenaline now the worst was over. Her interface beeped angrily at her, and she smacked it with her palm. "Oh, goddamnit. The loading mechanism's busted. Alright, um, let me see if I can-"

Ash was cut off by the sound of the Mako peeling out, and before she could protest their vehicle was speeding forward.

A second later Ash was pitched forward in her seat as the front of the Mako collided with the Thresher Maw's face, prompting the creature to wail out with agony. She tried to right herself in her seat, maybe ask Shepard what the hell just happened, but then her commander threw the vehicle into reverse and started accelerating backward. The Shepard jammed on their break, only to speed back toward the Maw once more.

Again and again and again Shepard rammed the Mako into the carcass of the Maw. Ashley struggled to remain upright while being repeatedly knocked in one direction, immediately followed by being knocked into the other.

"John!" she called out to the commander as she tried to keep herself from falling over. Shepard ignored her, not pausing for a second in his merciless onslaught. Ash scrambled out of her seat and maneuvered around the still unresponsive Garrus in the small confines of the Mako, to reach Shepard.

Gripping his shoulder, she tried again to get his attention. "John!" But still he would not listen to her. Through the cracks of his visor Ash can see his face, and what she sees is not Commander Shepard as she recognizes him. The normally calm blue seas of his eyes are now broiling storms of hatred and resentment. He doesn't scowl or otherwise grimace, but Shepard has such a look of mal intent as he continues to ram the long dead Thresher Maw.

Just as Shepard backed up and prepared to strike again, Ashley finally lost her patience. She forced herself into his field of view and gripped either side of his helmet, angling his head toward her. "Look at me, damnit!"

Shepard blinked several times and seemed to come back to himself as his eyes registered her presence. He finally let off the gas and slumped back in his seat.

Ashley moved her hands to his shoulders. "The Thresher Maw is dead," she told him with finality. "It's dead and we're all still alive, okay? You don't have to keep going. It's over."

Understanding flashed across Shepard's features, and his eye crinkled sympathetically at her. He nodded in acknowledgement.

Though her brow furrowed with worry, Ashley nodded back as she withdrew her hands. They both knew they would have to talk about this later, but now wasn't the time. Right now they had to focus on deactivating that damned beacon, then getting off this god forsaken planet.

Shepard turned his attention back to the steering controls. Quietly, he asked, "Can you check on Garrus?"

Ash nodded once more and extricated herself from Shepard's seat. As she moved to Garrus' side, Shepard began moving the Mako again, but thankfully not at ramming at speed. He maneuvered them around the now significantly caved in head of the dead Maw.

She leaned over to get a good look at Garrus just in time to hear him mumble, "No, Tali, I think you have very nice wrists."

Despite the fact they almost died not five minutes ago, Ashley felt a smile pull at her lips. At least one of them was having a good time.

She placed a hand on his shoulder and lightly shook him. "Come on, Garrus, time to wake up. Can't have you drooling all over the inside of your helmet.

Garrus started at her touch. She watched through his visor as he blearily opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to try and regain his perception.

His eyes locked onto Ashley. "Oh hey, chief," he slurred as she helped him sit up straight in his seat. Garrus glanced around the interior of the Mako, probably coming to the conclusion they weren't all dead. "Did we win?"

Ash let out an airy chuckle as she searched for the medical kit. "Yes we did, Garrus. The Maw's dead."

"Oh good," he responded tiredly. Garrus took a deep breath before continuing. "I really want to go to sleep right now, but I get the feeling that's a bad idea."

"Yes, yes it is," she agreed. Ashley took out a dextro based injection from the medical kit. She hooked it into the assigned port on Garrus' collar and hit the plunger, watching the liquid be pumped into his system.

Garrus gasped as it took effect, his silver-blue eyes regaining some of their clarity. "I just gave you a stimulant," Ashley explained. "I'm pretty sure you have a concussion. I don't want you getting up and trying to do anything, but try staying awake until we get you back to the _Normandy,_ alright?"

The Turian nodded. "I can do that. I don't mind playing the damsel in distress for a little while."

Ash gave him a reassuring smile and pat on the shoulder. She moved to crouch behind Shepard just as he pulled up next to the Grizzly. He parked the vehicle, and then their comm. sparked back to life.

"_-ormandy_ to shore part… come in shore party," said Joker's digitized voice, phasing in and out due the damage the comm. unit must have sustained during the fight.

Shepard hit the transmit button. "This is shore party, _Normandy,_ we read you."

"You had us …rried there, Shepard… couldn't contact you. We've been getting… weird readings up here."

"We were attacked by a Thresher Maw on our way to the beacon," Shepard responded calmly. "The Mako took significant damage during the fight, but the Maw's dead now. We're all okay, but have Chakwas prep the med bay. We think Vakarian has a concussion."

"A …cking Thresher Maw?" Joker exclaimed. "How the hell… two Alliance units be blindsided by something like that?"

"We don't know, Joker, but we're going to find out. We still have to check on Kahoku's squad and deactivate the beacon, but it shouldn't take long. Have the _Normandy_ come around to pick us up. I don't the Mako's thruster's will be able to give us to boost we need to get back."

"Already homing in on your position, shouldn't take more… a few minutes. See… soon. _Normandy_ out."

"Roger, over and out." Shepard cut the connection and turned to Ashley. "Come on, we've still got a job to do."

Ashley nodded and followed him out of the Mako. The rear entrance of the Mako took some hits during the fight, but thankfully it could still open, albeit slowly and with a liberal amount creaking. A warning flashed across their huds that Edolus didn't have proper oxygen and carbon dioxide levels for normal breathing, but the three of them still had their working helmets on.

She followed Shepard out onto the dusty landscape, stumbling a bit when she stepped out of the Mako. The injuries she gotten early were making themselves known now she moving about.

Shepard immediately moved to her side and hooked a hand under her arm to keep her steady. "Are you alright?" he asked, the concern clear in his voice.

Ash waved his attention off. She clutched a hand to her side to keep up some pressure. "I cracked a couple of ribs when the Maw guillotined us. Pretty sure I'll have a lot of bruises for the next couple of weeks, but that's the worst of it. I'll be fine until Chakwas can take a look at it."

John didn't look so convinced, but he nodded in understanding. He led them around the Mako to make their way toward the Grizzly. Ash noticed his left arm was hanging limp at his side.

"Is your arm dislocated?" she asked him.

Shepard paused and looked at the limb, like he was only just registering that fact now. "I think so. It doesn't hurt any worse than the rest of me right now. Chakwas will take care of it."

He tried to keep moving, Ashley stopped him with a hand on his good shoulder. "Shepard, you might be pinching a nerve or a blood vessel. We have to at least try and take care of it now."

He looked at her, and Ashley can see through the cracked visor just how tired he was. Shepard sighed and shook his head. He moved away from her to brace his right hand against the Mako.

Ash stood behind him and took a hold of his left arm, gently but firmly. "This is probably going to hurt," she told him apologetically.

"I know it will," he returned sadly.

Without waiting for Shepard to brace himself, Ash applied just enough pressure to his arm, and it snapped back into place with an audible _pop._ She heard him breath sharply and groan with discomfort.

She stepped back to give him room. "Sorry."

Shepard's breathing calmed down as he turned to face her. "No, no it's fine," he told her. Shepard gingerly moved his arm, testing the shoulder. "That should be fine for now. Come one, let's get this over with."

Ash nodded and followed him over to the Grizzly. As they passed the Mako, Ash noted just how dented and warped the front of the vehicle was now. Garrus wouldn't be happy when he came back to himself.

The scene they walked up to didn't look much better than their own. The Grizzly was thrashed beyond all repair, it's treads torn up and the hull gashed open. Bodies were strewn around the wreckage, varying in degree of how whole they were. Ash spied another unfortunate soul hanging out the back of the Grizzly, like he'd been trying to crawl out before he succumbed to his injuries. She was glad her suit's breathing filters didn't let her smell any of what she saw.

She watched Shepard carefully as they inspected the bodies, looking for dog tags. Outward he didn't look to be doing any worse than she was. But Ashley could only imagine the kinds of flash backs he was having right now. A scouting team, sent to a largely unknown planet in pursuit of a distress call, only to be ambushed by a Thresher Maw when they arrived. Those kinds of parallels couldn't be coincidence. Ash wished she knew what was going on inside of Shepard's head right now.

Ash crouched down next to one body missing its head and picked up the dog tags near it. "The 147th," she read. "These are Kahoku's missing marines." She placed the tags in a pocket in her suit before resting her hand on her knees. She gazed out over the barren wasteland of Edolus. Besides their Mako and the dead Maw, there was nothing to be found here. "What do you think they were doing out here?"

"The same thing we were doing," Shepard responded with an edge. She looked up to see Shepard walk toward the front of the Grizzly, clearly tense. She followed him around the vehicle to see him inspecting a small device. Her hud indicated this was machine sending off the beacon, but something was off about it.

"That isn't Alliance hardware," she stated.

"No it is not," Shepard agreed gravely. He walked slowly around the device as he spoke. "Someone put this beacon here deliberately, knowing it was a Maw nest. Kahoku's men arrived thinking they were going to help someone, just like we did."

Ash shook her head, reeling from the revelation. "That's… so fucked up. Why would anyone do this? What's the point?"

"I don't know, not yet. But I intend to find out."

She eyed Shepard warily at the remark. Shepard was looking down upon the beacon with the same gaze he had for the Maw when he was playing Red Rover with its face.

Ash didn't need to be able to read minds to see the conclusion Shepard came to. Suddenly the deaths of his men all those years ago on Akuze didn't seem so coincidental any more. If Ash was right, then someone was purposely seeding fake distress calls on far flung planets in order to lure Alliance units to them, only to have them decimated by Thresher Maws lying in wait. What their motive was, Ash had no idea. But she could reason it likely wasn't the most moral of intentions.

She took a quick diagnostic with her Omni Tool to get a better judge of what they were dealing with. "I don't see a simple on/off switch anywhere. And the firewalls keeping this thing from being turned off are pretty high grade." She closed her tool and crossed her arms as she thought. "When the _Normandy_ gets here, maybe Tali can-"

A trio of booms rang out across the barren landscape, cutting through the eerie silence like great thunderclaps. The sound took Ash off guard, causing her to reach for her weapons and look wildly about for the people who ambushed them. But there was nothing, only Ash and Shepard, the Grizzly, the Mako, and the bodies.

She looked to Shepard, and saw him re-holster his pistol, still glaring at the distress beacon which now had three smoking bullet holes in it. The lights on the device went out, and a second later Ash's hud informed her the distress signal was no longer active.

Ashley relaxed her posture, taking her hand off her own pistol, but she was still nervous around Shepard. This wasn't like him. John Shepard had a level of patience greater than some saints, but if someone did something that made his patience run out, Shepard became… someone else. He became colder, unrelenting, unmoving. Ash has only caught glimpses of it before. But now… she's not sure if she can actually trust the mental state of her significant other.

They heard a low rumbling sound, and Ashley and Shepard turned their gazes toward the sky. They saw the _Normandy_ coming in for pickup.

Ash tentatively walked over to stand beside Shepard as they waited. "So what happens now?" she asked quietly.

"Now, we find the people who did this." She glanced at Shepard, scared both for him and of him. His fists clenched at his sides with anger.

"We find them. And we make them fucking pay."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: So Shepard's having a bad day. And chances things aren't going to get any better for him in the next chapter ;)<em>

_Now, time for another reader poll! Not that you'll actually be voting on set list of options; I just want to get your ideas and opinions. As many Fanfiction readers may know, we are almost into the month of October. And on the 31__st__ will be a holiday that's considered the spookiest night of the year!_

_I plan on doing a Halloween special for the Normandy crew within the Soldiers universe, and I already have the general story mapped out. What I'm asking of you, dear readers, is what special costumes do you want to see your favorite characters to dress up in? I already have some ideas, but I am definitely open to suggestions. _

_Here are some unofficial parameters to help get your brain juices going:_

_Shepard and Ashley get a pair of costumes that are at least somewhat related to each other, because they're a couple and like mushy crap like that (I.E. Superman and Wonderwoman, Bonny and Clyde, etc). Also, Shepard gets a mask or face paint so no one recognizes him off the ship._

_The alien characters have costumes inspired from their own cultures, rather than just taking on human ideas (although I could totally see Tali rocking a Disney Princess outfit)._

_Garrus will not be Batman. That's for NEXT Halloween (Wink wink, hint hint, nudge nudge)._

_Also, I was thinking of doing a mini story set within the Soldiers universe. This one would follow Kaidan around during the events of the Homecoming chapters, detailing how he has to chaperone the aliens during shore leave, meeting the Williams family, "alone time" with Abby during the fireworks, all culminating in Ash blowing up on Kaidan. Fun times!_

_Does that sound interesting to you guys? I don't want to take time away from Soldiers to work on another story if I didn't think it would be well received. Let me hear your thoughts. _

_I look forward to seeing all your ideas! See you in the next update! _


	17. Halloween Special 2014

_Author's Note: So the Halloween special is a little late. But considering I still have a lot of decorations still up, it still feels like Halloween. At least for me._

_MAJOR DISCLAIMER! I realized while writing this that the Halloween Special can't actually fit within the Soldiers timeline. So, consider this a one-shot, as I will be taking quite a few liberties that won't be referenced in the story here afterwards._

Mass Effect is Owned and Operated by Bioware and Electro – _**BOO!**_

_The Normandy SR1 Halloween Special_

* * *

><p>"You guys celebrate Halloween?" Ashley asked incredulously.<p>

Shepard found himself in the mess hall, having lunch with most of his ground team and a number of the _Normandy's_ other personnel. Since October 31st was less than a week away, much of the crew was talking about how their relatives back home would be spending the ghoulish holiday. Then out of nowhere Garrus piped in about Halloween on the Citadel.

Garrus chortled with amusement as he nodded. "Yes we do. And not just Turians either. The whole Citadel celebrates it every year."

"But how did it even come about?" Liara asked over her bowl of salad, a glint to her blue eyes Shepard only saw when she uncovered some new tidbit of information to dissect and analyze. "I know the Council does their best to adhere to the cultures of all species living on the Citadel, but they normally wouldn't apply favor to one holiday like that."

"And you would be right, Liara. If the Council had their way, most non-humans would never even hear about Halloween. But it really wasn't for the adults to decide."

Shepard felt a smirk spread across his lips as he took a bite of his sandwich. "Lemme guess; the kids had the final say."

"Bingo," said Garrus, pointing a talon at Shepard. "All the adults were willing to let Halloween be a human thing, but the kids at multi species schools can talk until the end days. As soon as all the little Asari and Turians starting hearing about a night where kids get free candy by soliciting their neighbors, they would not stop harping at their parents about how it wasn't fair only humans got to celebrate Halloween. A lot of parents relented and got ready for the night; spooky decorations, costumes for their kids, the whole works."

"I remember reading about that first Halloween twelve years ago," Kaidan piped in. "Halloween as we recognize it today really isn't human centric when you think about it. Late night parties, scaring your friends, giving sweets to kids, there's nothing to it that isn't already familiar to most species."

"It ended up being a bigger event than anyone thought it would be," Garrus went on. "The Council thought it was such a great way to foster multi species cooperation; they declared it a station wide holiday the next year. Like Kaidan said, it's been going strong for twelve years now. This year marks the thirteenth."

"It sounds pretty awesome," Ashley commented as she leaned back in seat, a nostalgic look to her eyes. "Man, some of my best memories are of taking my little sisters out Trick-Or-Treating. It wasn't like I had close friends to go out with, but I had fun helping them dress up and walking them through the neighborhood. Plus it was way too easy to scare the crap out of them."

Looking pensive, Liara asked, "Um, what exactly is Halloween about? What are its origins?"

Kaidan placed his utensils on the table as he thought. "I'm fuzzy on the exact details, but the general consensus is it started back centuries ago on Earth. Pagan cultures would dress up once a year in scary outfits to ward away evil spirits who would do harm to their villages. Halloween, or All Hallow's Eve as some call it, as we see it today was sort of invented in North America in the mid nineteenth century. Then it became geared more toward selling costumes, candy, and scary movies for the masses."

"It'll be the spookiest night of the year!" said Ashley in a ghoulish tone, waving her fork around ominously. In her normal voice she went on, "For the kids it's really just for the scares and the candy. But for teenagers and adults, it's for throwing the sickest parties we can!"

Liara let out a nervous chuckle. "You humans grow stranger to me every day."

"Hey commander," called over one of the engineers sitting at another table, "don't we have shore leave when we get back to the Citadel? We should totally throw a Halloween party!"

Shepard found himself smiling at the crewmember for their enthusiasm. It sounded like a nice idea, but they didn't have the time to properly set up for a party. Even if they did, Alliance High Command would absolutely flip their shit if they found out Shepard authorized for the _Normandy_ to host a Halloween party.

He was going to turn down the idea when he felt two sets of three fingered hands grab his arm. He looked over to find Tali latched on to him, her white eyes beaming at him from behind her mask. "Oh please, can we Shepard? It sounds like so much fun!"

"Yeah, come on Skipper," said Ashley, giving him a light punch to the shoulder, "let your belt loose for a little while and have some fun."

Shepard looked around at those present, finding eager faces on all of them. "Kaidan?"

The older man shrugged with a lopsided grin. "I think it sounds like fun, commander."

Shepard looked across the tables to Chakwas, hoping for support. "Oh don't look at me," she said. "I dare say a night of frightful fun could be just what the doctor ordered."

Dumbfounded, Shepard shook his head. "You're all pretty adamant about this, huh?" he asked everyone.

"I'll totally be in charge of setting up decorations!" Joker announced over the comm.

Shepard raised his hands in surrender. "All right, all right, I get the point. I'm only green lighting this because I'm afraid you'd all mutiny if I didn't."

"Looks like we're having a Normandy Halloween Bash!" Ashley announced, followed by cheers by all the crew currently present. And in seeing his crew so jubilant, Shepard can feel his reservations just drift away.

As groups got together and started chatting excitedly about how to plan for the big event, Ashley nudged his shoulder and motioned for him to follow her as she got up from the table. They walked over to the kitchen area to dispose of their dishes, and Ash leaned in close to converse quietly with him.

"So I might have already picked out a couple costumes for us. If we order them tonight we should get them by the time Halloween rolls around."

He crooked an eyebrow at her. "If I didn't know better, Miss Williams, I'd think you were planning for a Halloween party this whole time."

She gave him a coy grin. "Guilty as charged, Skipper. But I think you'll find the will to forgive me when you see what I picked out for you."

* * *

><p>Ashley stood in Shepard's cabin, staring intently at her reflection in the mirror of his bathroom. Ash was never one for styling her hair, so making sure her dark brown locks had the appropriate amount of waviness was proving to be a little more difficult than she'd planned. But she could suffer through it to emulate the vixen haircut look she was going for.<p>

Ash could admit she was a bit of a comic geek. Not like Kaidan who could go on for hours and hours about the Marvel or the DC universes, but she liked reading comics over the extranet whenever she had some free time. Her favorites were the ones with strong female characters as the lead roles, like The Black Widow or Super Girl, kicking ass and looking damn good while doing it.

However, her favorite super heroine by far had to be Wonder Woman, which was why she'd ordered the costume online. Ash did a slow twirl so she could see herself from all angles in the mirror. Knee high heeled boots really weren't her thing, but Ash felt more powerful sporting the bright red leather footwear. The blue panties with white stars sat up a little higher than she would have liked but showed off her curves wonderfully, and the red leather corset hugged her body snugly. The faux gold arm bracers, belt, and brazier fit her perfectly, and a length of golden rope hung loosely off her hip.

Not to mention Ash had the perfect body to play Wonder Woman. Tall for a woman, tanned skin, muscular, dark brown locks just like the comic book super gal, Ash could easily pass for an Amazonian warrior princess.

All in all, she thought she looked _hot!_

"Well we are certainly in agreement on that account," said a baritone voice behind her.

She glanced up to the mirror to see Shepard leaning on the door frame behind her, clad in his own costume for the night. While their relationship still wasn't public knowledge, Ashley couldn't help picking out a costume for him that was related to her own.

John thought it was a hilarious idea when she told him she wanted him to be Batman for Halloween. But since Shepard himself was as close as they come to a real life super hero, he adapted to the persona rather quickly. They opted for a comic inspired costume, so the main body suit was a dark grey with a cape, boots, and mask that were all jet black. A large black and gold bat symbol emblazoned his chest, matching his golden utility belt. John himself had the perfect build to be the dark knight thanks to his intense workout routine.

_Holy shit he looks amazing_, Ashley thought lustfully. If anything the tight fitting pieces showed off his broad chest and muscled limbs even more. She had to remind herself they were only renting the costumes, so Ash couldn't actually tear the clothes off his body later that night.

Ash smiled nervously as she tucked some loose hair behind her ear. "Did I say that last thought out loud?"

"Oh, sure, just the last part," John said with a cheeky grin. He pushed off the door frame and came up behind her, circling his hands around her waist and pulling her closer to him. Ash smiled lecherously and leaned into his grasp, and John planted a long, tender kiss right below her jaw. "God, Ash, seeing you wearing this is putting some terrible ideas into my head."

She placed a hand on the side of his head and brought his lips down to hers for a quick but meaningful kiss. "Hmm. Well you'll have to remember those terrible ideas for later tonight," she told him in a breathy whisper. She swiveled in his grasp and pushed a hand to his chest to put some space in between them. "But right now we still have a party to plan for, and it wouldn't look to good if we ruined our costumes before it starts."

He sighed wistfully. "As always, you're still the smart one in this relationship." He leaned down to give her one more quick kiss before leading them out of his cabin. "Now come on; I want to see what the crew has done to my ship."

The crew of the _Normandy_ had certainly been serious when they said they wanted to pull out all the stops for their party. Streamers of bat and witch cutouts hung from rafter to rafter on the ceiling, the lights were turned down to a much more atmospheric setting, and posters of ghouls and ghosts decorated the walls. Crew members milled about, making sure the speaker system was set up with appropriate music tracks, or setting up the buffet for later. Shepard had made sure there were a number of dextro snacks for Garrus and Tali as well, properly sterilized for the Quarian's immune system.

"No, no, it must go higher!" said a voice that was clearly making a mockery of its English accent.

Ash looked over to see Joker directing a couple of crewmen as they hoisted a fake spider up onto the ceiling. Playing to his strengths, Joker dressed up as a very famous wheelchair bound character, this time from the Marvel universe. As Charles Xavier, Joker's wheelchair had custom fitted X's on the rims. He wore a trim dark blue suit and a bald cap to hide his mop of bright red hair, though he refused to trim his scraggly beard and mustache.

As they walked over to him, Shepard said, "Having fun bossing the slaves around, Joker?"

Joker very slowly swiveled his chair around to face them, his hands crossed in his lap and his lips puckered. "I know not of this Joker you speak of," he told them in his horribly off Patrick Stewart impression. "I am Charles Xavier, dean of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters." He made of a show of roving his eyes over them in inspection. "Hmmm. You both seem like freaks enough to me. I'm sure you could be admitted to my school."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "I'd tell you to get off your high horse, Joker, but I'm pretty sure you couldn't sit up that high in the first place."

Joker let his silly persona fall as he addressed her normally. "Oh yes, ha ha, very clever Miss Williams. Never heard that one before. But remember, Charles Xavier can read minds, so I know how badly you want sit down in my lap right now." Joker patted said lap, giving her a cheeky grin.

Next to her, Shepard let out a scandalized gasp. "Ashley! How could you two time me like this?"

Ash shook her head, giving him a mild glare. "Ugh, you two are such asses."

One of the crew members hoisting up the spider, Prangley, looked like he was about to chime in on the banter. But then he looked over their shoulders, and burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

Perplexed, they looked behind themselves, and Ash couldn't hold back a snicker at what she saw. Wrex was just stepping off the elevator, clad in his own 'costume' for the night. The Krogan wore a large, fuzzy red jacket with a black belt adorned with gold buckle. The edges of his coat were trimmed with white fluff and more than a few bells. And sitting at an angle on his head was a pointy red hat, also trimmed with white fluff and sporting a cute while ball at the tip.

"Oh lord," Shepard muttered, covering his mouth to try and stifle his laughter.

Wrex spotted them and instantly scowled at how they were snickering at him. "What the hell's so funny?" he boomed.

Recovering before the men did, Ashley asked, "Wrex, where did you get the idea for your costume?"

The Krogan shrugged as he walked over to him. "I don't know much about human traditions, so I did an extranet search on popular human holidays. This Santa Claus guy seemed really popular, plus he likes wearing red like I do, so I dressed up as him."

Shepard chuckled somewhat. "Oh, Wrex, you definitely get points for enthusiasm."

Still laughing, Ash excused herself to let Shepard explain to Wrex how the Krogan was emulating the wrong holiday. She walked over to the med bay and stepped inside to find Chakwas helping Tali put the finishing touches on her costume. Chakwas had played it safe this year and dressed up as a wicked witch, complete with flowing black robe and crooked, broad rimmed hat. She even applied some light makeup to give her face a sicklier green complexion, complete with a fake wart on her nose.

"Hey gals," Ash greeted cheerily as she entered. She stopped to get a good look at Tali's costume. "Damn, Tali, your costume looks great! Who are you supposed to be?"

Tali wore a billowing, light purple dress that reminded Ash of a kimono from Japanese culture. The dress sported an intricate swirling pattern, similar to the shawl Tali wore normally. The dressed covered every inch of the Quarian's suit, even with a hood that stopped just shy of obscuring her visor. It was also decorated with glittering 'jewels' that sparkled whenever the light hit them.

She did a twirl to send the skirt of her dress flying around her. "Do you like it? I'm dressed up as Kaleena Tezuract, a princess from one of the Quarian's oldest folk tales. Legend has it in the days before space travel; Kaleena was the only daughter of a beloved king and the most beautiful woman in the land. But a jealous witch envied her family, so the witch kidnapped her and had her locked up in a tower, demanding a ransom. But she was saved by a dashing prince who risked his life to scale up the side of the tower and slay the witch."

Ash felt herself smile at her friend's levity. She wondered if Tali knew humans had a story that was almost exactly the same.

Tali made an appreciative noise as she inspected Ash's costume. "Wow, Ashley, I never expected to see so much skin from you. It looks good! Who are you, exactly?"

She struck a heroic pose and announced, "I'm Wonder Woman, the most badass chick you'll ever meet! I use my super strength, bullet proof cuffs, and lasso of truth to fight evil and protect the innocent."

Chakwas chuckled as she strode to the back of the med bay. "Knowing you, Miss Williams, seeing you dress up as a super heroine is no surprise at all. Now, let's see what Liara dressed up as today."

She knocked lightly on Liara's door. "I am not coming out!" they heard the Asari squeak.

The three women exchanged worried looks, and Ash crossed over to Chakwas' side. Leaning on the door she asked, "Liara, is everything okay? Do you need help?"

"Don't come in here!" she yelled. More calmly she added, "I… I do not like my costume. I do not want to be seen in it."

"Aw, come on, Liara. It can't be that bad. Everyone's gonna be dressed up too, and chances are a lot of us will look pretty silly too. You don't have to be worried."

A moment's pause, then they heard the Asari sigh in defeat. "Fine. I will come out."

Ash smiled and tried to speak reassuringly. "Believe me when I say you won't regret this. Whatever it is you're wearing, I'm sure it'll be…" Liara's door slid open, and Ash would not be surprised if the eyes of the three women in the med bay literally bulged out of their sockets. "…oh."

Liara stood awkwardly in the doorway, trying to pull her costume further down her legs. She wore only a pearl white leotard that stopped right at the curve of her hips, showing them the full expanse of her long blue legs, and a long fuzzy white tail curled around her left leg. The tight fitting material left very little to the imagination about the rest of her curvy figure. On her hands and feet were fuzzy white paws, and Liara had painted the tip of her nose pink, with black lines sprouting away from it on either side. To complete the picture she wore a tiara with pointy white cat ears.

They were stunned into silence, and the med bay was eerily silent for several long moments. Even on a casual day, Liara rarely let anyone see any skin beyond her face and hands. Seeing her in something for risqué was beyond jarring.

"Liara," Chakwas eventually started, an uncharacteristic nervousness to her voice, "you look… very nice, dear."

Liara fixated her gaze on the floor and clenched her fists at her sides. "I am never letting Joker suggest a costume for me again."

* * *

><p>"And you're good to go!" Kaidan told Garrus. He closed up the small compartment on the back of the Turian's 'armor' and stepped aside to see the result.<p>

"You're the best, Kaidan," Garrus replied with a smile. He turned around and brought up his Omni Tool. Garrus keyed in a command, and a second later the lights on his costume lit up. Garrus wore a suit not unlike what you'd find Turians in the military to wear, but this one was all coal black. Plus it was bulkier and spikier than what Garrus would normally wear. Lights along the chest, back, and near the joints glowed a brilliant red. He'd even temporarily painted his tattoos scarlet to match the ensemble.

Said lights had been flickering on and off before, and the electrical pad controlling them was in an awkward place on the back when one was actually wearing the costume. Thus was why he had tracked Kaidan to the CIC and asked him to help him out for a second.

"You look good, Garrus," admired Kaidan. "Who are you dressed up as?"

"I am none other than Galvatoryx Leonopteryx, the first Turian Spectre!" Garrus told him as he closed down his Tool. "I grew up watching all the movies made about his missions and adventures. He was my childhood hero, right after my dad."

Garrus snickered as he inspected Kaidan's costume. "Don't take this the wrong way, Alenko, but don't you think you're dressed up a little plainly?" For Halloween Kaidan had dressed up in a simple pair of loose fitting pants and tunic, both of which were tan in color. Over that he wore a large brown robe that obscured most of his form, including a hood that hung low over his face. It also concealed the small metallic cylinder affixed to his waste.

Rather than feel insulted, Kaidan felt himself smiling at the way Garrus fell into the trap of underestimating his outward appearance. "A Jedi does well not to make himself stand out among a crowd, nor is he quick to boast about his true identity," he told Garrus in an overly calm way. Kaidan folded his sleeves before his chest and gave the Turian a slight bow. "But you may call me Master Obi Wan Kenobi."

Garrus' eyes widened in realization and he snapped his fingers. "Oh, I know him! He's from… Star Trek, right?"

Kaidan's smile vanished and his shoulders slumped. "Star _Wars_, Garrus."

"Same thing," said Garrus with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Before Kaidan could come back with witty reply, the two men heard a sudden caterwauling originating from the stairway leading to the lower deck. "Come on, Liara, learn to take a joke!" they heard someone that sounded like Joker yell.

A moment later Liara ascended the stairs to the CIC, and behind her she had Joker's Professor X wheelchair held aloft with her biotics. Shepard, Ashley, and Tali, all decked out in their own costumes, trailed after her.

"You're not going to throw that out, are you?" Shepard asked with an amused grin.

"Joker deserves far worse than that," Liara returned shortly, but she sighed and placed the wheelchair down as her biotics fizzled out. "But Dr. Chakwas wouldn't find it so funny if I somehow caused him injury. I'll leave the wheelchair here; let him suffer walking up the stairs unassisted for once."

The words barely registered in Kaidan's mind, as he was too busy being awestruck by Liara's costume. He's always considered the Asari beautiful, but in a regal way. For Halloween he thought Liara would pick something less provocative, like a librarian or a teacher, not a Slutty Kitty. It wasn't something he was used to, but Kaidan had to admit Liara looked damned good wearing it.

Garrus going, "Um," awkwardly next to him jarred Kaidan form his thoughts, and he came back to their conversation.

"That's not the kind of outfit I figured you'd go for, Liara," Garrus eventually said after the initial shock wore off. He quickly added, "Not that it doesn't look good on you. It's just a surprise coming from you."

Liara rolled her eyes and brought up a hand to rub her fore head, before she remembered it was still covered by the fuzzy paw and scowled at it. "I was having trouble finding a costume, and with such little time left I deferred to Joker for help. Obviously I should have done more research when he suggested a 'cat' costume for me."

"You look hot and you know it!" they heard Joker call from below deck, followed by low grunts as he worked himself up the stairs.

Ashley crossed to her Liara's side and gave her friend a pat on the arm. "I still think you look good," she told Liara with a lopsided grin, "but I think you need some time away from Joker to de-stress. How about we go do something outside of the ship for a while?"

"Alenko and I were planning to go see a movie," Garrus offered. "You guys are welcome to join us if you want."

"What are you going to see?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan, who's mouth seemed to have stopped working when Liara came up to the CIC, finally shook himself back to reality. "Uh, it's a new Michael Myers movie actually. Halloween: The Final Beginning."

As Shepard and Ash chuckled at the hokey name, Tali canted her head in confusion. "You humans make movies about a holiday, premier it on the holiday itself, and then present it in theatres?"

"It's not the same Halloween," Kaidan answered. "We're talking about a long running movie franchise that revolves around Michael Myers, a mentally deranged serial killer. The movie's called Halloween because that's the date it always takes place on. It's a staple of the slasher genre."

Liara turned to Ashley with an incredulous look. "You're idea to help me de-stress is to make me watch a movie where people are violently murdered?"

"Well, yeah," Ash replied unabashedly.

The Asari threw her hands up. "You humans still grow stranger to me every day. But fine, I will give it chance."

"Alright!" Ash exulted, looping an arm around her shoulders. "Now you'll get to see just how awesome Halloween can get!"

"Will it be scary?" Tali asked.

"Wouldn't really sell if it wasn't," Shepard told her.

Tali's bright eyes glowed with anticipation behind her mask. "Sweet! I keep hearing Halloween is supposed to be scary, but it hasn't lived up to the hype yet. Hopefully this will be the fix I need!"

"Looks like that makes five of us then," Garrus observed. He turned to the commander. "You want to tag along too, Shepard?"

Shepard shrugged undecidedly. "I don't know. I trust the crew, but I feel like I should be here to make sure they don't get into too much trouble."

"Oh don't be such a puss," criticized Joker, who was just now slowly making his way into the CIC. "I've got a handle on everything. You go do your thing somewhere and stop breathing down all our necks. Go have some fun."

"Yeah, come on, John," said Ashley as she entwined her hand with his. She leaned in close and smiled lecherously at him. "It'd make me awfully happy if you came along."

Taking a good look at Ashley's Wonder Woman costume and how it brought out her sexiest assets, Kaidan thought it would be a Herculean feat to turn her down if he was her boyfriend.

Obviously, Ashley's powers of seduction proved too much for Shepard as well. The man sent his own lustful grin back and said, "Alright, you twisted my arm."

Garrus made a disgusted sound at the back of his throat watching them. "I liked you two a lot more when you tried to keep your relationship under wraps."

Ashley's response to that was to pull John's head down to hers and entrap his lips in a long, sensuous kiss, complete with moaning and hand grabbing. Their friends let out a collective symphony of groans and uncomfortably moved away from them.

Pulling away, Ash gave Garrus an innocent look. "Well what good is having the first Human Spectre as a boyfriend if I'm not allowed to tote him around?"

Behind them, Joker yet again mimed a slave driver cracking her whip.

Exasperated, Kaidan motioned for them follow. "Come on, we have to get to the Theatre soon if we want to catch a flic and still make it to the party in time."

After saying good bye to Joker and making him promise he wouldn't burn down the _Normandy_, Shepard and the others followed after Kaidan. Tali fell in to step next to Garrus, beaming up at him. "I like your costume Garrus! Going as Galvatoryx suits you well."

"Thanks, Tali." He took a moment to inspect her costume as well. "You don't look so bad yourself. Uh, Kaleena, right? The one stuck up in the tower?"

Tali practically bounced with joy. "Yes, I am!" Then she seemed to take control of herself again, wringing her hands nervously. "Uh, how did you know that?"

Garrus shrugged good naturedly. "My mother didn't like most Turian folktales. Too bloody and order bound for her. So she told my sister and I about stories she'd read from other cultures. She really liked Quarian ones the best."

Kaidan could imagine Tali was blushing furiously behind her mask. It seemed like everyone accept Garrus could see the Quarian has a massive crush for the Turian.

A tug on his sleeve pulled him away from his thoughts, and Kaidan turned to see Liara staring expectantly at him. "So… just how scary is Halloween supposed to be?"

He canted his head at her. "What do you mean?"

Liara blushed somewhat and nervously looked away. "I will admit I do not have the firmest of constitutions. I've always shied away from horror vids or novels. To be scared is not an emotional state I normally choose to subject myself to."

Kaidan considered her question for a moment when they stopped at the airlock. "Well, it's not like there will be roving bands of miscreants trying to scare people. At least not in the more public areas on the station. Unless you go into a haunted house or go see a scary movie, most people are pretty tame when it comes to Halloween."

He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and willed himself not to think about how smooth her skin felt. He was rewarded with a small, grateful smile from Liara.

He went on saying, "Just stick with us and we'll make sure nothing bad-"

At that moment the airlock doors opened, and they were greeted to the sound of a multitude of voices going, "TRICK OR TREAT!"

Liara yelped and jumped back, latching onto Kaidan's arm for dear life. They all looked down the airlock to find a gaggle of miniature people crowding the hallway, all dressed up in their own costumes and holding bags in front of them.

Requisitions Officer Joans, who had dressed up as a decaying zombie for Halloween, turned a little in his chair as he handed out the appropriate candy to each child who came up. He broke into a big smile when he saw Shepard and the rest walking out. "Hey there, Commander! You come out to say hi to the Trick or Treaters?"

"I didn't even know we'd be having Trick or Treaters," Shepard replied. He waved goodbye to the kids as they walked back down the airlock now that they had their candy. Shepard gave Joans a pat on the shoulder. "Quick thinking, by the way."

Joans shrugged as he put his two candy bowls down, one for levo and for dextro. "I was off buying some stuff for the party later and noticed parents were flying groups of kids from ship to ship like they were houses. I figured I didn't want to disappoint anyone who stopped by the _Normandy_."

"That's good to hear. I'd hate for everyone to think the first Human Spectre was some miser who won't even let kids have candy."

"It's all just part of the job, sir," Joans replied with a grin. He looked around at everyone else. "So are you guys going out? Cool costumes, by the way."

"We're actually going out to see a movie because Joker kicked us out," Kaidan answered. "We should be back in time for the party."

"Sounds good. I'm just gonna stay here and hold down the fort. Joker sort of delegated me as the doorman tonight." Joans looked pensive for a moment, and then turned back to Shepard. "Oh, speaking of the party, I was talking with some of the guys and they were saying how they'd like to invite some of their friends who live on the Citadel. I wanted to run the idea by you before I'd start letting random people in."

"Eh, I don't see any harm in it," Shepard told him. "Just make sure anyone you don't recognize got invited by someone on the ship. I don't want party crashers poking around the _Normandy_."

Joans gave him a mock salute. "Sir, yes sir. I'll let the boys know. You guys go enjoy your movie."

They all said farewell and made to exit the docking tube. But just before they made it out, Kaidan heard Joans call over, "I like you costume, Ash!"

Ash paused at the entrance of the docking tube, looking conflicted for a second. She sent a carefully measured smile back and said, "Thanks, Richard! I like yours too." Kaidan saw Joans absolutely light up with pride before he was out of sight.

As they walked to the elevator, Shepard turned his set of skeptical eyes toward Ash. She sent a look back that seemed to say, "_Well what was I supposed to say to him?"_

Garrus stepped up beside the two of them as they piled into the elevator. "I swear it gets sadder everyday watching that guy hit on you, Chief."

The Wonder Woman sighed, dragging a hand through her hair. "He already knows I'm not interested. Richard will eventually catch on it's not going anywhere."

"He'd better," Shepard muttered darkly. Ash quickly jabbed her elbow into his side and gave him a slight glare as he cringed in pain.

"It still hurts to watch," Garrus went on saying. "You'd think an intelligent person would eventually get the idea someone wasn't in to them, rather than continuing to pester them for weeks on end." Kaidan glanced behind the Turian and watched Tali's shoulders not-so-subtly droop as she stared at the floor.

"Not to change the subject," Shepard butt in, obviously trying very hard to change the subject, "but did I hear Tali say you're dressed up as Galvatoryx, Garrus?"

"Your primitive human auditory senses seem to be serving you well, Shepard," Garrus mocked.

Ignoring the jibe, Shepard went on asking, "And he was supposed to be the first Turian Spectre, right?"

"Two for two, commander."

"And you're currently in the employment of the first Human Spectre."

The elevator stopped its door slid open. As they shuffled out, Garrus asked, "Where are you going with this, Shepard?"

"You don't think it's kinda creepy? You're a little obsessed with Spectres, big guy, especially ones who ended up being the first of their kind."

"Not at all," Garrus stated unreservedly. "If anything I think it shows I have a healthy respect for such noble men and women who put their lives on the line to keep the rest of us safe."

"Says the Turian who loves to gloat about his mint condition Anaphora Le'Sroka: The First Asari Spectre trading card," Tali cut in snidely.

"That is a collector's item!" Garrus defended, rounding on Tali. "It cost me a lot of money to get a hold of, and it's going to be worth a whole lot more years from now."

"C-Sec must have a horrible retirement plan if you're pinning you're hopes on some useless piece of cardstock making you a fortune," Ashley said with an evil grin.

"Oh, don't be so hard on Garrus," Kaidan scolded her playfully. "The amount of interest his trading card will accrue years from now will be pretty significant. I imagine if Garrus sold it, say, ten years from now, his profit would be a whole five credits!"

"Ooh, mister high roller over here!" said Tali as she lightly punched his arm. "Think of everything you could buy with five whole credits, Garrus!"

The glare Garrus turned on them all was pure murder. "And once again, the helpless Turian becomes everyone's favorite punching bag. I'm starting to sense some racist undertones among this group."

"Um, Garris?" Liara, who was still clutching Kaidan's arm, asked meekly. He turned to her. "Anaphora L'Sroka wasn't the first Asari Spectre. That would be Lanaya Amoris. I think someone mislead you when you were making your purchase."

Garrus stopped dead in his tracks. They all turned around to see him staring wide eyed off into space, his mouth agape and his mandibles hanging lifelessly.

"Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"

* * *

><p>After they convinced Garrus to come out of his comatose state and assure him they'd help get his money back for the near worthless trading card, they resumed their trip to the movie theatre. They trotted past store fronts adorned with lighted pumpkins and spooky ghost cutouts. Groups of trick-or-treaters patrolled the streets in search of their sugar fix, along with groups of friends heading off to their own Halloween parties. Certain sections of the Citadel were even cast in artificial night for the occasion.<p>

Liara was thankful that most Asari they walked past were also dressed up as scantily as possible, so no undue attention was drawn to her. Shepard's Batman mask covered his face, ensuring they wouldn't be hounded by endearing fans. Although Shepard did pull his mask a little lower when they walked past a man in a Commander Shepard costume who sounded an awfully lot like Conrad Verner.

Kaidan finally coaxed Liara to let go of his arm by the time they made it the theatre, although she never strayed far from her friends. There were multiple showings of Halloween: The Final Beginning going on, so thankfully it didn't take long to get their tickets, snacks, and find a place to sit down. From left to right they were seated Shepard, Ashley, Garrus, Tali, Kaidan, and Liara.

The movie brought in a good sized crowd. There were a lot of humans, but there was certainly no shortage of any one species. Kaidan saw plenty of Asari, Turians, Krogan, Salarians, and even some Quarians and Volus.

Liara's hand was back to clutching his arm when the theatre lights dimmed to start the trailers. He placed a reassuring hand on hers and told her, "It's just a movie, Liara. It's not like it can actually hurt you."

"I appreciate what you are trying to do, Kaidan, but it is _not working_." Liara watched the screen with huge eyes, her lower lip trembling with trepidation.

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Tali and Ashley aren't scared."

Tali leaned over and said, "Well I'm not. And I get the feeling Ashley won't be paying enough attention to be scared."

"What do you mean by…" Kaidan turned to Tali, and then saw what was happening past her. "…oh."

Ashley was now fully in Shepard's seat, straddling him and pushing his mask up over his head as she seemingly tried to suck off his face with her mouth. Shepard responded eagerly, gripping her thighs and rubbing his hands along the seams of her Wonder Woman panties. Next to them the group of Salarian friends were admirably trying to act like they weren't put off by the two amorous humans.

"It really doesn't take much for those two, does it?" Liara observed.

"Those two would seriously be the first to die in a flic like this," said Kaidan.

"How so?" Tali asked.

"The lovebirds always die first," he replied. "It's one of those unspoken rules of slasher movies."

"Well, where would the rest of us fall under these 'special slasher movie rules?'"

Kaidan cupped his chin with the hand that wasn't being harangued by a terrified Asari as he thought. "Well, Garrus would probably be the bad boy who gets himself killed by trying to pick a fight with the killer." Garrus merely grunt in acknowledgement of his characterization, picking at his dextro popcorn in the most pitiful way possible.

To Tali he said, "You and I would be friends of the main character. It isn't certain we'd be killed, but the odds aren't in our favor."

"Yeah, I can see that. And Liara?"

"She'd probably be the virginal lead woman who survives."

Liara rounded on him so fast Kaidan was sure she'd given herself whiplash. "I am not a virgin!"

All of a sudden the idle group chatter of the other movie goers around them quieted after Liara's not-so-quiet outburst. The only sounds left in that little pocket of stunned audience members were Ashley's and Shepard's wanton moans, who were blissfully unaware of everything else around them. Kaidan and Tali shared a look leaden with more levels of awkwardness to count. Liara seemed to realize what she let slip out and her faced flushed to a brilliant dark blue. All three of them sank low into their seats to try avoiding the gazes of the rest of those in the theatre.

"Well I'm not," Liara mumbled dejectedly.

"No one's saying you are," Kaidan consoled, hoping to god everyone else around had stopped involuntarily eavesdropping.

Beside them, Tali finally grew bored of watching Kaidan and Liara unknowingly flirt with each other. So, she cozied up to Garrus' arm and asked in a sweet voice, "Garrus, will you protect me if the movie gets too scary?"

"I had to pay a guy 300 credits just to find someone who had an Anaphora card," he muttered to no one. He probably hadn't even heard Tali say anything. Groaning and rolling her eyes, Tali slumped back in her seat, arms crossed. Before any of them could further make fools out of themselves, the trailers finally ended and the movie began to play.

Halloween: The Final Beginning turned out to be pretty good. Definitely not Academy Award material, but certainly higher tier for blood soaked slasher flics. The story started out the usual way: Michael Myers was a deranged young kid who killed most of his family, so he was institutionalized. He broke out years later on the first Halloween after his baby sister turned eighteen. Which of course sparked off a bloody rampage as Myers did his best to get to her.

The cast weren't exactly well known actors but they were still amazing at their roles. And Kaidan marveled at how varied they were with different alien species, not just humans. They justified the alien presence by having most of the movie take place at a fictional school on Earth that taught students from all over the galaxy, no matter their species.

The lone prominent Asari actress played the atypical bimbo. She and her human boyfriend were killed in the middle of fucking each other when Myers impaled them both with a flag pole. Kaidan thought it was good the movie got her out of the way first, since a lot of Asari were speculating any killer of human origin would near instantly be subdued since most Asari naturally had biotic powers.

They had a couple of Turians play the typical brawny, jock stereotypes. One of them got taken out when Myers sliced him clear in half at the waist, and the other one got his mandibles ripped off before he was drowned in a vat of water. Judging by how Garrus and a lot of others Turians cringed at that scene, the makeup artists obviously must have pulled it off well.

There was a Salarian who was a professor at the school. He got his face practically ripped in half when Myers pulled the two horns on top of his head apart. There was even a Drell, who acted as the pothead for the group. He more or less wound up disemboweled.

There was even a Volus banker and a Quarian janitor, both of whom were killed off for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The writers even worked in a playboy Hanar, who got his tentacles ripped off one by one. A Krogan with a local biker gang got his head caved in when he tried to fight Myers hand to hand.

Michael Myer's little sister and her foster parents were all human, in addition to a few more humans to round out the cast. The foster parents ended up being crushed when Myers shoved them into much-too-small cupboards, and most of the sister's friends were slashed in one way or another.

The ending was pretty much expected. Little sister ends up being the only survivor of the massacre. At the climax of the movie she managed to shove Myers off the side of her school, a five story drop. But of course in the morning as the local cops are showing up in force, there's only a bloody smear where Myer's body should be. The audience saw a cop checking out a noise disturbance somewhere close by, only to see a large shadowy figure appear behind him. The screen cut to black at the sound of a blood curdling scream, followed soon by the credits.

They left the movie theatre joking and laughing about some of their favorite parts of the movie. Garrus finally seemed to finally be in better spirits, having forgotten about his ill-advised purchase. Ashley and Shepard needed recaps of what actually happened, too 'busy' to pay attention to the movie. Tali confessed she was rather disappointed. She'd thought the movie would be scarier, but it seemed as though nothing about Halloween could frighten the Quarian. By contrast, Liara was probably one of the loudest screamers in the theatre.

And Kaidan?

"Liara, can you please let go of my arm now? I think I'm starting to lose feeling in my hand."

* * *

><p>"I mean did you see the way his mandibles sprayed blood when Myers ripped them off?" Garrus gushed as they stopped in the <em>Normandy's<em> decontamination chamber. Garrus was still having a hard time believing Tali didn't think the movie was as scary and amazing as he did.

The Quarian merely shrugged indifferently. "You can tell it's fake. I can't say I feel bad for an actor who played his part and got some special effects thrown on him."

Laughter bubbled out of Ashley as she watched the two friends bicker. "You are a very strange girl, Tali. Most women are usually cling to their boyfriends and scream their lungs out. You know, like Liara did." The Asari in question gave Ash a scathing look but chose not to rise to the challenge.

"Well it's not like I _had_ a boyfriend I could cower behind," Tali complained. Garrus didn't miss the pointed look she gave him, and he felt his neck warm slightly. Well was it his fault he was stuck in his own world and simply neglected to realize Tali might not have a man to cling on to? Besides, judging by the way Alenko was still flexing his sore arm, Garrus could guess he wasn't missing out on much.

The decontamination cycle finally ended and they were let back onto the ship. They were greeted both by crew members on the bridge and loud Halloween music blaring through the ship speakers. The party was already in full swing. Garrus recognized several crew members decked out in their costumes, along with a few people he didn't know. Probably some of the invitees Joans had been talking about earlier.

While everyone else started to mingle, Garrus made his way past the CIC and down the flight of stairs to the mess hall, where the real center of the party was. He'd made the mistake of getting popcorn without a beverage, so Garrus has been fighting off the salty taste in his mouth all the way back to the _Normandy_ and he needed a drink.

He entered the mess to find it a hub of activity. The tables had been removed, replaced with a makeshift dance floor where more than a few crew members were dancing the night away. Garrus maneuvered his way around the crowd and made his way to bar set alongside the far wall.

Joans spotted him just as he got out his own beer. "Hey there Garrus!" He went ahead and got a dextro beer out of the cooler and handed it to Garrus, who thanked him. "How was the movie?"

"A lot better than I expected it to be. Story wasn't too hammy, whatever that human idiom's supposed to mean, and the gore was really well done. You'd think they literally cut a guy open and had his guts spill out in front of a camera. How's the party been so far?"

"Better than we could have hoped! Everyone's having fun and there's no shortage of alcohol and snacks. We'll be good to keep partying for a long while."

"I'll toast to that," Garrus said with a grin, and the two men clinked their bottles together. After he took a swig Garrus asked, "Wrex hasn't been causing too much trouble yet, has he?"

Rather give him a straight answer, Joans actually burst out laughing, trying his best not to choke on his drink. "Oh man, you haven't heard? Wrex is filling out an incident report with C-Sec right now."

Garrus felt his brow plate raise with surprise. "What did he do this time?"

"He went out with Montreal to see if they could find a pumpkin last minute, and these guys started heckling him about his costume."

"Not the Santa one," said a voice behind him, and Garrus turned to see Ashley walk up next to him. Joans broke out into a huge grin and tossed her a drink as well. "I thought it was funny as hell."

As she got the cap off, Joans answered, "Naw, he had a new costume. The guys were making fun of him for dressing up as the Easter Bunny."

"Who the hell convinced him to dress up as- wait, don't answer that. I already know it was Joker."

"The Easter Bunny?" Garrus asked. "Who's that?"

"It's the mascot for another human holiday," Ash explained. She turned back to Joans. "What happened?"

"I guess witnesses say the other guys started the fight, so Wrex was just defending himself," Joans replied. "Montreal says he started picking guys up and flinging them around. God, it must have been hilarious to watch! C-Sec just wanted to hold him for a little while to make sure he didn't do anything crazy. He'll be back soon."

"That's good to hear," said Garrus. "It's never a real party without that big lovable Krogan."

Joans laughed as he took a swig of his beer. Then something appeared to cross his mind and he said to Garrus, "Oh, just so you know, Dr. Michel made it here alright."

The bottle of beer Garrus was holding stopped abruptly just before his lips. A leaden weight dropped in his gullet, and very suddenly Garrus no longer had the urge to have anything to drink.

He stared at Joans with wide eyes. "Chloe's here?"

Joans nodded and jerked his head backwards. Garrus followed direction of the movement and his heart skipped a beat.

Chloe stood off to the side of the party, down the hallway lined with sleeper pods, chatting with Dr. Chakwas. Garrus felt his neck catch fire when he saw the costume she was wearing.

She wore an atypical French Maid outfit, complete with a wide skirt that was far too short, tight black stockings on her legs, and an old timey feather duster clasped in her hands. She even had a frilly white bonnet in her hair. It's not the first time Garrus has seen her wear it, but before it was always in rather… intimate situations. Spirits, she was as beautiful as ever. Her red hair shined in the low lighting and Garrus could tell she was using an eye shadow that made her green eyes sparkle.

He stood stock still. Garrus had no idea what to do. After their nasty breakup the two of them had only begrudgingly stayed in contact. The only messages he received now were queries about his health and if he was okay. His replies were much the same, and neither had brought up what it was they used to have.

Distantly he thought he heard Ashley say something angrily to Joans. "I just assumed Garrus invited her!" the man defended. "I didn't know they broke up. I didn't even though they were in a relationship in the first place!"

With a mind of its own, Garrus' arm extended toward Ashley. She gave him a worried look but took the bottle from his nonetheless. Before he could think otherwise, his legs were propelling Garrus forward, his gaze focused on Chloe's back. He could tell he was already starting to break out into a nervous sweat, and for the life of him Garrus had no idea what he could possibly say.

Dr. Chakwas noticed him over Chloe's shoulder and a Cheshire grin spread out across her human lips. She quickly made an excuse about having to check on Joker and sent a not-so-subtle wink to Garrus before she walked away.

Confused, Chloe turned around, and gasped when she saw Garrus. He stopped a foot away from her, clenching his fists at his sides so they wouldn't fidget. The two of them stood there for a moment, neither knowing what to do. Chloe twined her hands around her feather duster. Garrus felt his collar becoming unbearably warm, and he could see Chloe's cheeks were rosy from embarrassment.

Eventually Garrus said, "I, uh, didn't expect to see you here, Dr. Michel."

_Smooth, Garrus. You're a real Casanova, or whatever the fuck that stupid human term means._

Chloe look down, a hurt expression crossing her features and Garrus instantly hated himself."I didn't really have any other plans, tonight." Garrus had to force himself not to swoon. Her French accent was still so intoxicating. "Dr. Chakwas messaged me, and she mentioned you were having a party. I asked if I could come, and she told me she didn't think anyone would mind." She shifted her stance awkwardly and rubbed her arm. "If you didn't want to see me, I can go…"

"No!" Garrus pleaded, probably too loudly by the way Chloe's face snapped up to meet his gaze. Shuffling on his feet, Garrus coughed into his hand to get himself under control. "I, uh, I didn't mean it like that. I was just… surprised you came. Um, _good,_ surprised. I'm glad to see you." He flexed his mandibles in the Turian styled smile she had come to recognize.

She gave him a small smile back, and it did wonders to relieve the tension in his mind. "I almost didn't come, but… I wanted to see you again. We don't talk that much anymore, so I wanted to get a firsthand feel of your new friends and your job. And from the people I've talked too so far, it looks like you're really doing some good here. There's no one on this ship that doesn't consider you a friend."

Garrus chuckled and dragged a hand over the back of his fringe. "You sound like you're going over my resume." Chloe giggled at the remark, a musical sound to his ears. He gestured to her costume. "You look really nice tonight. Well, I mean, that's not to say you don't look nice most days. Which you do! You're pretty good at making yourself look nice, even when you're not trying. I just mean, um, you look… really good."

_Spirits, Garrus, is that really the best you can do?_

With an airy chuckle Chloe said, "And I see you're still going strong as Galvatoryx. Again. What is this, the third year now?"

"Fourth, actually," Garrus corrected. "And what's the human saying? If it isn't broke, don't fix it?"

"I'm glad to see your knowledge of human speak is ever increasing. And I've always thought you looked rather handsome in your costume." Garrus let out a mirthful hum and rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous little habit he'd picked up from Shepard.

"So what exactly to you do aboard the ship?" Chloe asked. "Besides, you know, looking dashing while you help Shepard save the day." Garrus didn't miss the way her cheeks flushed just a bit more when she complimented his looks.

He clasped his hands together and said, "Well, actually, I spend most of my off time working on the Mako. It's an infantry vehicle we use whenever we have to drop in quick from high atmosphere." He looked down for a moment, not sure if he really wanted to ask what he thought he wanted to ask. "Do you, uh want to come see it?"

Chloe's brow shot up upward with surprise, and Garrus immediately started backtracking. "I mean, we don't have to. It was just a, um, a suggestion. I wouldn't want to drag you away from-"

Then suddenly Chloe stepped closer, taking one of his hands in her own, and he didn't have to imagine just the warmth he felt through the glove. Garrus inhaled sharply, her all too familiar citrus shampoo assaulting his senses. She looked up at him with those shiny green eyes and those cute pinks lips. Garrus had forgotten how much he missed all those little human quirks about her. He'd forgotten how much he missed _her_.

"I'd love to see it, Garrus," she told him. Seeing the adoration in her gaze, Garrus cursed himself for ever thinking he could move past her.

Not trusting his words, Garrus only nodded, a smile on his face. He led her by the hand around the party and toward the elevator, feeling lighter than he has in a long time.

_Meanwhile…_

If it were possible to feel complete and utter depression, Ashley could make a safe bet Tali was feeling it right now.

The poor Quarian had descended the stairs and entered into the mess just in time to see Garrus walk out of it, hand in hand with his old flame Dr. Michel. Maybe Ash couldn't read body language to the same degree a Quarian could, but she could see from the slump to Tali's posture that she was taking this hard.

She walked over to the counter set up for the bar area, followed closely by Liara and another Quarian girl who'd been invited by one of the crew, set her arms up on it, and promptly let her face mask slam down onto the table.

As Liara tried to sooth Tali with a hand in her shoulder, the other Quarian asked Ashley, "So I take she liked the Turian?"

"Oh, 'liked' does not begin to describe how she felt about the Turian."

Liara looked up quickly. "Oh, forgive me. Ashley, this is Aleen T'Zeta Nar Defranz. Aleen, this is Ashley Wiliams."

The Quarina extended her hand and Ashley shook it. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she said in cheery, albeit digitized voice. She wore a suit not unlike Tali's, although Aleen used several yellow and orange clothes, as opposed to Tali's purple cloth. In lieu of a costume, Ashley saw she had imprinted a 2-D Jack-o-lantern hologram on her visor.

"The feeling's mutual," Ashley said with a smile. "And don't worry about Tali. She'll be fine." She turned back to Joans. "Now what were you thinking not warning us Chloe would be here?"

"I didn't know she and Garrus had broken up," Joans repeated. "I just thought they were good friends."

"You shouldn't blame him, Ashley," Liara cut in. "Garrrus' relationship with Dr. Michel is hardly common knowledge."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, Rich." Joans merely shrugged it off before making an excuse of wanting to check on snacks before walking away. Ash turned back to the newcomer. "I promise we're a lot more fun to be around once you get past the melodrama. So, who do you know on the ship?"

"It's really no problem," Aleen replied. "I've had my share of unrequited crushes before as well."

"Here, here," Liara muttered, still trying to coax some life out of Tali.

Aleen went on saying, "And to answer your question, one of your engineers, Collin Smith, invited me. We met in an online chat forum and we've sort of been going out for the last few months." Aleen gripped the side of the counter and leaned back, letting out a wondrous sigh as she panned her gaze over the ship. "He'd told me he worked on an Alliance ship, but I never knew he worked on the _Normandy!_"

A groan pulled their attention back to Tali, who had finally propped her chin back up on her hands. "I need a drink," she mumbled.

"Coming right up! You want one two, Aleen?" The other Quarian nodded, and Ashley fished out two sterilized dextro drink tumblers from the cooler, complete with straws to fit in their induction ports. Tali practically snatched her drink from Ash's hand and stuck the straw into the slot, taking a very healthy swig of the alcoholic beverage.

Liara shared a concerned look with Ash. "It's alright, Tali," she told the Quarian girl. "There are plenty of other men out there. You'll find someone."

"I don't know why you're trying to baby me," Tali deflected snidely. "So what if Garrus has something with Michel? Good for them! That stupid Turian can date whoever he wants. I don't care. Why should I care? WHO SAYS I CARE?"

The other three women drew back in surprise. "Maybe you should go easy on the drinks, Tali," Aleen suggested meekly.

Tali let out a long suffering sigh before taking another long drink. "Halloween sucks!" she proclaimed. "Everyone besides me is hooking up and the stupid holiday that's supposed to be about horror isn't as scary as shit!"

Over Tali's shoulder, Ashley watched Kaidan start to walk by before pausing when he heard her slandering Halloween's name. He got a weird look in his eye and an evil smile spread across his face. And then he was off without a word.

"You shouldn't let one bad experience ruin a whole holiday for you," Aleen consoled. "This is my first Halloween, but I think it's been plenty scary."

"You're barking up the wrong tree," Ashley interjected. "We just saw the new Halloween movie, and Tali barely batted an eye." Aleen canted her head with confusion, and Ash explained, "Oh, human expression. It means nothing fazed her."

"Like you'd actually notice you were so busy snogging with Shepard," Tali said.

Ash quirked an eyebrow at her. "Snogging?"

"I can read human books!" Tali defended. Behind her, Ashley watched as Kaidan made his way back to their group. But this time Ash could see his biotics were alight, and he was using them to hold something Ash couldn't make out. Liara glanced behind Tali as well, then sent Ashley a concerned look. Ash subtly shook her head, begging the Asari not to say anything.

_Oh my god, Tali, please just keep talking and don't look behind you!_

Thankfully, the Quarian must have been too inebriated already to notice anything was up. "It's not my fault I have a higher standard of horror," Tali ranted on. "You humans must not understand what it means to truly be scary."

Behind her, Kaidan was finally close enough so that he could start the lowering the object down from above Tali. And now Ashley could finally see it was the large fake spider Joker had set up earlier. It took all of her willpower not to break into a huge grin just imagining what would happen next.

"And it's not fair everyone else has a boyfriend," Tali went on, blissfully unaware. The spider dropped a little lower. "Ashley has Shepard, Garrus has Chloe. Hell, by this point even Liara might as well have Kaidan." She ignored the pointed look Liara gave her. The spider paused a moment as Kaidan took in her words, but then it resumed its downward motion.

"Why can't I find someone to-" Tali abruptly stooped mid speech when she noticed her shawl was ruffling in an odd way. She swiveled her head, and locked eyes with the beady little ones of the spider.

The screech Tali let out could be heard on every single deck of the ship, far surpassing the noise level of the music. She flung herself from the bar counter, falling to the ground and trying to scramble away. The entirety of the mess hall burst out into uncontrollable laughter, and Kaidan let the spider flop lifelessly to the floor as he could no longer control his biotics with how hard he was laughing. Ashley had to prop herself against the counter, lest she fall over from holding her splitting sides. Liara and Aleen had to lean on each other for support they were laughing so hard.

The moment Tali realized what had happened, she was on Kaidan in an instant, laying a barrage of punches on him, each one punctuated with an increasingly creative list of curses.

"_Bosh'tet!_ Fucker! _Dezku'ut!_"

It was then they heard a loud clunking emanating from the stairway. They turned to see Wrex waltz into the mess hall, decked out in yet another costume. He now wore a large green suit, accompanied by a large green hat and big brown pointy shoes. Wherever one looked there were either golden buttons or golden buckles. He wore a large red beard and had a smoking pipe affixed between his teeth.

As he lifted up a cauldron that jingled with a bounty of faux gold coins, Wrex exulted in a horrible Scottish accent, "Who's ready to party, laddies?!"

* * *

><p><em>Sometime later…<em>

Kaidan stood off to the side of the mess hall, nursing what would probably be the his beer of the night. It was nearing three in the morning, and while a good portion of the crew had called it quits for the night, a lot of other people had refused to stop partying.

He leaned against the far wall, watching the few people still left on the dance floor. Ashley and Shepard were grinding against each other in the most provocative ways, probably not even caring who saw them together anymore. Wrex was slouched against the opposite wall, snoring into his leprechaun hat. But the most captivating sight by far had to be Liara.

The Asari had only reluctantly gone onto the dance floor some time ago, continually complaining that she was horrible at dancing. As Kaidan watched (in a totally not creepy way), Liara started out awkwardly, simply moving her feet and shoulders to the beat. But then Liara started getting into the groove, and the alcohol in her system did wonders to chase away her normal insecurities. Now Liara flowed like water to the beat of the music, shifting and moving. She was captivating to watch.

Suddenly her eyes locked onto Kaidan and she broke out into a huge smile. Liara maneuvered herself off the dance floor and more or less crashed into the wall next to Kaidan, giggling the whole way.

"Are you okay?" Kaidan asked her, already positioning himself to catch her if need be. "How much have you had to drink?"

Still giggling, Liara propped herself up against the bulkhead to face him. "Probably more than I should have," she slurred. "Ashley showed me how to make apple cider with rum. They are sooooo good."

Kaidan chuckled at the way she tripped over her words, such a contrast to how leveled and controlled her speech was. "I think it's about time we cut you off."

"I'm actually really surprised I'm still awake, truth be told." Liara looked up at him with a dopey grin, her head lolling from side to side. "I wanted to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For being so patient with me earlier. I know I can be dificoo… dififul… tough to deal with when I'm stressed." Liara grabbed the edges of his robe and buried her face in his chest, giving him a pat on the shoulder. "Mmmm. You are a very good friend."

Kaidan fought the urge to jump backward, unprepared for how close Drunk-Liara liked to get. Warily he told her, "Believe me, it's no trouble. I've had friends who are a lot worse to handle."

She chuckled into his robe before pulling away to look at him again. "I also forgot to mention how much I like your costume! Obi Wan is one of my favorite characters form Star Wars."

"You've seen Star Wars?" Kaidan asked incredulously.

Liara nodded eagerly. "Outside of digging up artifacts and writing thesis papers about them, I have remarkably few things to do while away on digs. I pack vids with me to ease the passage of time, and a friend recommended Star Wars. I fell in love the moment Obi Wan first taught Luke about the Force."

"That's so awesome! Maybe we could convince Shepard to let us schedule a Star Wars movie day, sometime." The laugh Liara answered him with sent his heart racing a little bit more than it should have. He blanked on what to say next and blurted out the first thought to enter his booze addled head. "I like your costume too."

Liara's smile turned, or at least attempted to, seductive as she trailed her hands down the sides of her white leotard. "Do you think it makes me look pretty?"

His mouth went dry and Kaidan broke out in a cold sweat. "I always think you look beautiful," he said before he actually thought about what he was saying. He quickly backtracked, "I mean, I'm not saying you don't look beautiful now. If anything your costume makes you look really… attractive."

What the hell was going on with him? He'd only ever tripped over his words like this around Rahna all those years ago.

Suddenly Liara went quiet, her expression becoming placid as she leaned her head against the bulkhead next to them. She looked up at him with speculative eyes.

"What?" he asked her.

"Why did you sleep with Ashley's sister?"

Kaidan's eyes widened with shock, and he was pretty sure he wasn't imagining the heat on his cheeks. "Where's this coming from?"

Liara shrugged a single shoulder indifferently. "I've always wondered and I'm drunk enough that I'm not terrified to ask it. So why did you do it?"

Kaidan was silent for a moment, staring down at the beer in his hands. Did he really have a good answer? Eventually he tried, "It was just… a chance to have some fun. No strings, no commitment. We were two consenting adults who didn't want to spend a night alone in their bed."

"Did you love her?"

He sighed. "You're really not pulling any punches, are you?" Liara only shook her head, that same contemplative look still on her face. Quietly, Kaidan told her, "No, I don't love Abby, and I hardly think she loves me either. We both liked each other, and we found each other plenty attractive, but there were no romantic feelings. It was just sex."

"So… then you wouldn't mind if I tried this?"

"I wouldn't mind if you tried wha- mmph!?"

Quicker than he thought possible for Liara in her drunken state, she was on top of him, leaning up and planting her lips on his. Kaidan was stunned into inactivity.

Liara was… a better kisser than he thought she'd be. Kaidan felt his eyes droop close as he leaned back into her, resting his free hand on her hip. Liara wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Kaidan obliged and deepened their kiss.

Maybe, tonight, the two of them just wanted not to spend the night alone.

_Meanwhile…_

As Liara dragged Kaidan off into the med bay, Ash and Shepard could only gawk from afar.

"Did you just see what I just saw?" Ashley asked Shepard.

"I saw it. Damn, Joker was right. The LT does work fast."

"You just saw two of our friends hook up and that's all you can say?"

Shepard shrugged helplessly. "Well what do you make of it?"

"What I make of it is that I'm not letting Liara get laid before I do tonight."

"Well sure… wait what?" And before Shepard could protest, Ash grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and dragged him into his bedroom.

* * *

><p>"Oh stop complaining, Mr. Prangley," Chakwas scolded.<p>

The crewman held his throbbing head in his head, moaning like the damned. "I'm never going to drink again," he lamented.

"That's what you said last shore leave." Dr. Chakwas got out a few more tablets from her satchel and put them into a cup of water, watching them fizzle in the liquid. "Here, drink this when you feel up to it. Maybe it will give you more of a spine."

"I love you too, doc," he said as he took the glass. Chakwas stood up from his bedside and addressed the rest of the crewmen in her medbay. Their party last night was certainly a thrilling one, but of course Alliance marines would drink more than they could stand. She was glad she had the forethought to ask Dr. Michel for extra hangover medication.

Overall the night seemed to be a success. No one was arrested, no one overdid it with partying or drinking, and it seemed as though more than a few people found another to spend the night with. It looked as though Liara and Kaidan might usurp Ashley and Shepard for the most talked about couple on the ship. And Karin was glad Garrus and Chloe worked out their problems, although she did genuinely feel remorseful for Tali. It was too bad a sweet girl like her couldn't get the boy she wanted.

Actually, now that Karin thought about it, what had happened to Tali last night?

On cue she heard the door to the med bay open, allowing Tali to enter with a rather nervous looking Joans trailing behind. Tali immediately crossed over to Chakwas and asked, "Do you have any spare immune boosters?" Karin thought her voice sounded strange, like it was congested.

"Of course, Tali. Had a little too much to drink last night?" Karin asked with mocking smile.

As she turned to rifle through her medical cabinet, Tali shifted on her feet and cast a quick glance at Joans. "Something like that."

"Hmmm." Chakwas produced the syringe of Quarian tailored immune booster and handed it to Tali. "I do suggest you don't make a habit out of this," she cautioned.

"You don't have to worry about me," Tali dismissed. She situated herself on a free bed and began prepping the suit covering her left arm to receive an injection.

Chakwas busied herself with straightening out her medical cabinet, but she made sure to watch Joans out of the corner of her eye. The man crossed over to Tali's side, looking worriedly over her.

"So that will make it so you don't get sick?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"No, but it will lighten the symptoms," Tali answered. "I'll just have a mild fever for a few days. Don't worry so much, I'll be fine."

Joans let out a relieved sigh and clapped his hands together. "That's good to hear. I would have hated myself if I inadvertently got you killed because of a night of a little fun." He paused for a moment, looking nervous. "So, um, we're still on shore leave, technically. Do you want to go do something, later?"

"I'll think about it," she replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Don't you have to go help clean up?"

"Oh, right, sure. I'll talk to you later, Tali." Looking oh-so-good about himself, Joans left the med bay. Tali let out a tired sigh as soon as the door closed behind him.

Chakwas stared at her, stunned into inactivity. Tali noticed her staring. "What?" she asked with an innocent shrug.

"Tali. You didn't."

"Well it's not like Ashley was going to sleep with him."

_Meanwhile…_

Ashley stood next to Shepard, wrapped up in his bed sheet, in his cabin. The both of them were staring down at the bed and the articles of their costumes that littered it.

Or, rather, what was left of their costumes.

"I don't think we're getting our deposit back," Shepard told her solemnly. Ashley could only nod and feel sorry for the poor soul who rented them next.


	18. Chapter 17 - And Ghosts

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Chapter 17 - …and Ghosts

* * *

><p>Ashley was having the weirdest dream. Something about a Halloween party? And a cheesy slasher flic? She was pretty sure Liara hooked up Kaidan for some reason. And then there was something about not being able to return their costumes?<p>

She was already on the verge of wakefulness when an incessant tapping filled her mind. Ash blearily opened her eyes to see someone was standing in front of her sleeper pod, repeatedly tapping their finger against the glass partition.

Scowling now that she'd been roused from her sleep, Ash hit the release button, and the glass barrier released a hiss as it moved upward. The person on the other side backed up to give her room.

She tried rubbing the back of her hand against her smarting eyes to see more clearly. After a moment her vision cleared and Ash could see Joker of all people stood before her, leaning on his crutches.

"What the hell, Joker?" she groused, stifling a yawn. "You better have damn good reason for interrupting my beauty sleep."

"I'm pretty sure beauty sleep only applies to people with actual beauty," Joker retorted cheekily. Ash flipped him the bird as she stepped out of her pod. More seriously he went on, "Besides, you were set to wake up in like ten minutes anyway. I need you to get Shepard out of my room."

Ash gave him a look as she laced her boots back onto her feet. "Your room?"

"Well, you know, the cockpit. He's been there ever since we synced up with Ontarom's orbit and started doing surface scans."

"We made it to Ontarom? How long have we been here?"

"Not much longer than an hour. The commander doesn't want to send the Mako in until we know for certain what to expect on the ground."

Ash nodded as she pulled her uniform shirt on. "Alright. But we can let the techs deal with the scanning. What's Shepard doing up there?"

Joker shrugged lamely. "Dunno. He's just been glaring at the orbital view of the base. He won't talk to me."

"Okay, fine, I'll see what I can do." Ash straightened her clothes out as best she could. She'd probably have to skip a shower for now. She sighed as she bunched up her loose hair and tied it in a bun. "I won't promise anything, though. We haven't exactly been talking the past couple weeks."

"You and just about everyone else on this ship," Joker scoffed. "Shepard's been like this ever since what happened on Edolus."

Ash groaned, and Joker hobbled after her as she walked toward the mess hall. "I know he has," she told Joker quietly. Not a lot of people were awake right now, but Ash didn't want anyone overhearing her talking behind the Skipper's back. "What happened on Edolus was personal for him, and everything that came afterward hasn't helped either."

Joker nodded in agreement. "Whoever these Cerberus people are, what they're doing is pretty fucked up. I don't envy Shepard for all the weird experiments he's had to see while out on missions."

"I can't say I do either." Ever since Edolus Chakwas had kept Ash harangued in the med bay for her healing ribs, so she'd been barred from any ground missions up until this point. Although she did give Ash the all clear last night. Garrus had it worse. He probably wouldn't be mission ready for another week or so because of his concussion.

To Joker she said, "How about you have some coffee, Jeff? I'll go talk to the Skipper."

Joker nodded and the two went their separate ways. As Ash ascended the steps to the main bridge, she tried to think of what she could say to Shepard. That man was the smoothest talker this side of Vegas, but he could be incredibly dense when you needed him to listen for a change.

Things had escalated exponentially ever since Edolus. Not long after informing Kahoku of the fate of his men, Shepard had received a message from the admiral. Kahoku said something about an Alliance black ops initiative called Cerberus and how they were the cause for the Thresher Maw attacks. The _Normandy_ chased the admiral's trail across the galaxy, jumping from Cerberus base to Cerberus base across multiple planets in multiple systems.

What they found tested the constitution of the crew. Cerberus oversaw a number of highly illegal research centers. They must have been tailing Saren as well, because they found facilities studying Husks, Thorian Creepers, and even Rachni.

Cerberus purportedly held the motto of aiding humanity above all else, but they were far too cold toward their own species to make Ashley believe their slogans. They'd found entire human settlements devoid of life because Cerberus had used them for their sick experiments. The bastards had even gone so far as to kill admiral Kahoku because he had come too close to finding out the truth.

Ontarom was the only lead they had left. From what little Tali could decipher of the data Cerberus tried to purge at the last base they hit, there seemed to be something going on here as well. While she was loathed to admit it, Ashley wished the trail of bread crumbs would end here.

Shepard had changed ever since Edolus. He became colder; to the crew, to his superiors, even to Ashley. Before, on the battlefield, Shepard held no reservations about killing anyone who raised their guns against him and his squad. But now he seemed to lack empathy for their foes altogether. Any Cerberus forces they encountered were systematically wiped out with no chance for survivors. Even the scientists who attacked them were shown no quarter.

Ashley is afraid of the man Shepard is becoming. She'd fallen for the caring warrior who only wished to help others as best he could. Not this cold hearted executioner who killed with ruthless efficiency.

She walked past comm. specialists and techies as she crossed the bridge. Just like Joker said, Shepard stood in the cockpit; alone save for a few terminals he stared unflinchingly at. He had his arms crossed behind his back, and he stood more stiffly than Ash had ever seen before.

Shepard spared a glance behind him as Ash approached. "You're up early," he remarked quietly. He sounded as though he did not want the company, but only acknowledged her presence because it was Ashley.

Ash came up to stand beside him, resting her elbows on the back of Joker's chair. "Joker woke me up. He said you were starting to give him the creeps."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," he dismissed. He inclined his head toward Ashley. "Has Chakwas cleared you for active duty yet?"

Ash's brow furrowed, annoyed at him for changing the subject. But she could play along for now. "She gave me the all clear last night, provided I don't over exert myself. Though I seem to recall she never actually gave the same courtesy to you."

She watched as Shepard reflexively pivoted his left shoulder, probably remembering the dressing down from Chakwas he received when he asserted he wouldn't be waiting around the med bay to let it fully heal.

"The mission's too important," he told her non-committedly. He turned to face her directly. "I want you down on Ontarom with Kaidan and I today."

Ash stood up straight to meet his impassive stare. "Why me?"

Shepard didn't answer immediately, choosing instead to stare out through the ship's forward window at the expanse of space before them. Eventually he said, "Because I want people I can trust, people I know will watch my back and not question my orders. Ontarom's the last lead we have, and I don't want Cerberus slipping out of our grasp."

She hoped Shepard didn't see her wince when he said the last part. "Don't you think you're obsessing over Cerberus?" she asked him, not caring if she didn't sound professional. "I thought Saren was supposed to be our priority, not some terrorist cell."

He turned back to her, and Ash couldn't stop herself from flinching under the scathing look he gave her. "I'm not sure if you've noticed, Chief Williams, but Cerberus has been following Saren's trail, same as us. The two are connected somehow, and until you've proven to me otherwise, we will exhaust the Cerberus lead until we have fully eradicated them or Saren has been brought down."

"Don't give me that bullshit," Ashley retorted. She watched Shepard's jaw tense, on the cusp of reprimanding her for insulting her commanding officer. "You and I both know you've been on this warpath because of the grudge you hold over Akuze. A grudge I _thought_ you buried years ago."

"Will you-" Shepard cut himself off and sent an agitated look down the bridge. Ashley followed his gaze to see two ensigns quickly direct their attention back to their terminals, pretending like they hadn't heard anything.

Shepard stepped closer and more quietly said, "You of all people should understand. We don't have any new leads on Saren right now, but we have a real chance to find Cerberus and bring it down! Why shouldn't we get revenge on the terrorists who killed my men and all those colonies of innocent civilians?"

"Revenge?" she spat. "Are you even listening to yourself? I thought you became a Spectre because you wanted to help people, not have free reign carry out your vendettas."

"This is helping!" he defended. Shepard gripped her hand fleetingly. "Please, Ashley, can't you see what I'm trying to do? This is what's best for us, our fallen men, and everyone else. These people are a menace and they have to be stopped."

"I can see just fine," she told him tersely, yanking her hand away and taking a step back. "You're the one blinded by your hatred and guilt. I'm sorry about what happened on Akuze, John, but killing more people won't bring your friends back."

"But then what was the point?" he asked her frantically. "Why should good men and women lie in unmarked graves while their killers continue to torture the living?"

"Because life isn't fair, John!" He recoiled from her, his blue eyes quaking with anger. Ashley knew how much her words may hurt him, but if he couldn't listen to reason, then maybe he could listen to the only person he cares about shunning him.

Ashley sighed and dragged a hand through her hair, looking away from him. "I… I can't do this right now. I won't stand here and try to help if you're only going to push me away."

She quickly made to exit the cockpit, but she hadn't made it far when Shepard called out for her. "Ashley, wait, please."

She stopped, but she did not look back him. How could he not see how much his blind hatred was hurting her?

"These people, Cerberus?" she said in a low voice. "They're the ones who make monsters, not us."

Ash finally looked back, and found Shepard staring back at her, his gaze lost and his stance hallowed. It broke her heart to see him like this, but there was nothing she could do to help him until he accepted he needed help.

"Don't let them turn you into one too."

His being hardened as the words caused Shepard to retreat into himself. She knew full well he understood what she meant, but accepting them was something else entirely.

An alert blared in their ears, and Ash turned back to the crewman on the bridge worked up into a tizzy. Shepard brushed past her, heading straight for an ensign monitoring the ground. "Report."

"I'm not sure what's going on, sir," he replied, his hands flying over his terminal. "All of a sudden one of the buildings on the North side of the facility just up and exploded. Now we're reading lot's mass effect fields being discharged; probably gunfire."

"Are they firing at us? Or someone else?"

"It's not impossible a visual scanner may have picked us up, but all the shooting's going on inside the facility. We don't know what's happening."

Ashley heard a clonking sound coming toward them, and she looked away from the terminal to see Joker hobbling over to the cockpit on his crutches. "I just heard. What's the game plan, Commander?"

"We'll have to accelerate our time table. Bring us in now, Joker."

The pilot gave him an, "Aye aye" and he set to work, maneuvering the ship so they could pull off a drop from atmo. Shepard looked to her, and Ashley could see the silent question in his gaze. She gave a nod. She might still have her doubts about Cerberus and his crusade, but Shepard could always count on her to back him. Her commander nodded back, and together the two of them jogged down the hangar to begin preparations for a drop into a hostile zone.

* * *

><p><em>These people, Cerberus? They're the ones who make monsters, not us. Don't let them turn you into one too.<em>

Her words refused to stop buzzing around his head ever since the mission began. Even the jarring impact of the Mako hitting dirt which usually scattered his thoughts couldn't dispel the way Ashley's words eroded his fortitude.

He'd nearly died on Akuze all those years ago. He'd only made it out at the sacrifice of his friends and team mates. And then for months afterward he'd been on the brink of completely losing his mind with grief. So rather than succumb to insanity, Shepard threw himself into his work, opting for the most dangerous missions he could find. Because the more threats he wiped off the face of the galaxy map, the safer his friends, family, and countless innocents would be.

Shepard never wanted Akuze to happen again, not to anyone else. That was why he wouldn't forget about what happened on Edolus. This Cerberus group was purposely leading lambs to the slaughter, and for what? They claim to stand for humanity, and yet they kill Alliance soldiers who had done nothing more than their jobs. Rather than promote peace, they do research into how to more effectively kill people by studying illegal life forms. These people don't deserve to live, and they don't deserve a fair trial. All they deserved were unnamed holes in the ground.

Why couldn't Ashley see that? She lost her unit on Eden Prime, and Shepard had no qualms helping her hunt down the man responsible for the attack. But now they'd found the people who nearly killed him and he was supposed to, what, forgive them? Forget about all the lives he failed?

They were going to have another talk after this mission, he was sure of that. Shepard still loved Ashley, and he appreciated all the ways she tries to help him. But this wasn't some moral conundrum she could fix with her words and feelings. This was about justice, plain and simple. Shepard only hoped he wouldn't damage their relationship beyond repair once this was over with.

He drove toward the column of smoke. It was still black, so the fire was still burning. That meant the fire retardant systems hadn't come online yet, and maybe the facility personnel were still too busy dealing with something else to worry about the fire. Shepard was willing to bet whatever had Cerberus so preoccupied likely also caused the explosion in the first place.

Shepard parked the Mako on an embankment close to the facility. Most of it was underground, but they could still plainly see a building on the northern side was nothing but a smoldering ruin now. He spied a couple of automated turrets on top of the building, but even though their Mako was in range the turrets weren't swiveling toward them.

"No guards," Alenko informed Shepard and Ashley, his voice quiet with tension. "And from here it looks like their turrets are deactivated. I can't decide if that's a good or bad sign."

"Maybe the explosion fried their circuitry?" Ashley asked, her fingers on the trigger of the guns just in case.

"It's possible," Shepard concurred. "And from the reports we were getting, the guard were probably pulled back indoors to deal with some emergency. Can you see anything on the sensors from here, Alenko?"

He listened as Kaidan type in a series of commands behind him. "The Mako's surface scans are shoddy at best, but from here it does look like there's firefight going on inside the facility. Can't tell who's fighting who, though."

"Then we move in carefully," Shepard told them as he propelled the Mako forward. "We eliminate anyone confirmed be Cerberus personnel. If there are POW's in there, we hold our fire and try to reason with them."

Shepard could practically feel the loaded look Ash sent to his back, but he wouldn't reconsider his position. The mere possibility of survivors was more than they could say about the last few bases they'd hit.

They pulled up alongside the entryway, and when after a moment nothing popped out to challenge them, they disembarked from the Mako. Ashley took point with her shotgun and Shepard and Alenko followed closely behind with assault rifles.

As soon as they made it through the airlock, the signs of battle were immediately present. Gunfire reverberated through the hallways, growing louder as they moved from room to room.

The first Cerberus soldiers they found had their backs to them. Shepard had the three of them pause on either side of a doorway they'd just opened, leading to some kind of command center. Cerberus had blockaded themselves on the side Shepard and his team came up on, which he deduced was also the only path to the outside. The Cerberus goons were faced away, shooting at an unknown number of hostiles on the other side of the room. From where he stood Shepard couldn't really recognize them, but he could tell they were all human as well, and they didn't look to be as heavily armored.

"Orders, sir?" Alenko asked quietly. Cerberus hadn't noticed the door behind them open, too busy try to eliminate the threat in front of them.

Shepard withdrew his sniper rifle as he doled out commands. "Williams, you go right. Alenko to the left. Try to flank the Cerberus soldiers and stay in cover. I'm thinking those are POW's, and they don't know we're here. Open fire on my mark."

He didn't miss the way Ashley's jar clenched, but she moved to follow the order without complaint. She and Alenko had to be wary of stray rounds hitting their shields, but they both found cover on either side of the room. Shepard lined up the scope of his rifle on the back of the head of a man in the center of the formation who looked like he was the one barking out orders.

"Mark," he breathed over the comm. before he pulled the trigger.

The sniper rifle round slammed into one side of his helmet and out of the other, taking with it a geyser of blood and visor shards. The man next to him whirled around at the new threat, and Shepard quickly realigned his sights to hit the man's chest and take down his shields. Aenko finished him off with a few rifle rounds, but not before zapping the shields of a few assailants closer to him. As they stumbled from the electrical pulse, they were left open to the barrage of fire coming from the either side of the room. Ashley unleashed a Carnage blast with her shotgun, killing one man instantly and throwing a few more of them to the ground. She quickly mowed them down with a few shots from her shotgun.

The Cerberus soldiers barely lasted a minute taking fire from both sides. Shepard took down the last one who tried sprinting for the exit, only to be met with a sniper round to his sternum. After he fell Shepard ordered his team to hold fire, and now he could tell the other faction had ceased fire as well. Hopefully they realized Shepard and his team weren't hostile to them. At least not yet.

Shepard motioned for them to move forward, taking up the positions of the now deceased Cerberus personnel. He quickly stowed his sniper rifle and withdrew his side arm, wanting its precision in case he needed to act quickly.

"Don't come any closer!" one of them shouted, staying behind his cover. Shepard quickly surveyed what they were dealing with. These other people certainly didn't look like mercenaries or soldiers. They were dressed up in light green smocks, like medical patients. But they obviously knew how to handle the weapons they were carrying, and they must have some training to have lasted so long against fully armed soldiers.

If only just barely. More than of a few of them were lying on the ground, some dead and others being attended to before they bled out.

Calmly, Shepard announced, "This is lieutenant commander John Shepard. I'm with the Alliance and Special Tactics and Recon. Lay your weapons down and we will not open fire."

"Bullshit!" another one of them shouted. "You think we'd actually believe a human could be a Spectre? We didn't try escaping from Cerberus just to become test subjects for the Alliance too!"

"No one's planning on doing anything like that," Shepard placated. "We came here because we knew it was a Cerberus base. We didn't know about the rest of you."

"Wait, hold up, don't shoot." That man sounded like it was talking to the rest of its companions. Shepard listened as they silently argued before he called out, "I'm coming out! I'm putting my gun on the floor, don't shoot!"

A strange feeling rankled itself in Shepard's gut. There was something about that voice. He recognized the Asian accent, but from where, he didn't know.

He popped up from his cover, side arm raised, and watched as one of the men of the group tossed his rifle away and step out of his cover, hands over his head. Shepard finally got a good look at him.

His mouth went dry and his blood went cold. This… this was some kind of fucking joke. There was no way it could be him. Ving Cho died on Akuze. There were no other survivors beside Shepard.

But it was him, standing in front of Shepard. He looked thinner and paler than Shepard remembered, but he still looked the same. From the strange combination of Asian and American facial features, to the pitch black hair cut short, to his light brown eyes.

"Ving?" he whispered, his voice deathly quiet. He screwed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to dispel the phantom from his mind. Now wasn't the time to start having a mental break down.

But then he opened his eyes again and Ving Cho was still there, looking like he'd equally seen a ghost in Shepard.

He stood up and lowered his weapon, trying to gain control over his thoughts. "Cho, but… you can't be here. You died on Akuze, I saw the Maws take your unit down!"

Cho broke out into that idiotic smile he still remembered. "I knew it was still you Lt." Cho glanced between Shepard and the group of other patients behind him. "Look, I know it might not seem real, but the Maws didn't kill me. I got knocked or something. When I woke up, I was in a cell, and these Cerberus people told me because I survived they were gonna run tests on me! These Cerberus people are bad news, Shepard, you have to believe me!"

"I do believe you," Shepard replied with conviction. "We've been tracking Cerberus and eradicating their bases wherever we can find them. They'll pay for everything they've done." He stowed his pistol away and stepped out of his cover, keeping his hands up as well. "Cho… I'm so sorry. If Id' known you made it…"

"You probably would have ended up in a cell with me," Cho finished for him. "And we wouldn't be having this conversation." He turned back to his group. "Put your guns down. We can trust them."

"You really believe they'd make a human a Spectre?" the one man from before asked, poking his head out.

"If anyone would have made it as a Spectre, it's Shepard," he replied sternly. Cho turned back to him, relief clear in his eyes. "He's one of the best soldiers I've ever worked with."

Suddenly Cho buckled on his feet, falling to his knees. Shepard rushed to his side and barked out orders. "Alenko, tend to the wounded. Williams, you secure their weapons."

He kneeled down and helped Cho into a sitting position. He noticed Cho was shivering profusely. "Most of us are hopped up on stims," he explained. "Can't really stage a prison riot if you feel like you're half dead."

"I take it blowing up the one building was your idea?" Shepard asked with a small, grateful smile. "You always did have the really stupid ideas."

Cho laughed weekly, and Shepard radioed up to Joker to alert the Third Fleet and request a pickup for survivors.

"It's going to be okay now, Ving," Shepard told him. "We'll get you to some doctors, and they'll be able to help you."

Cho nodded. "And maybe a couple psychiatrists too? I'd… really like for the nightmares to stop." Shepard gave him a reassuring pat in the shoulder and nodded, and Cho brightened. He looked around, seeing as the rest of the patients complied with Alenko's and Williams' orders. "Oh, Toombs made it out too. I lost track of him, but he should be around here…"

A gunshot rang out, making everyone flinch. Shepard was on his feet in an instant, side arm in hand. A quick assessment told him Alenko and Williams were also prepared for another attack, but by this point all of the prisoners were relieved of their weapons, and they too looked as though they didn't know who was shooting now.

Another gunshot sounded, then another, and now that he's focused again Shepard can tell the gun isn't going off in the same room. He traced the sound to a hallway that branched off the command center. Ashley and Kaidan moved to follow him, but Shepard waved them off.

"Keep the rest of them under control," he ordered. He thought he heard Ashley fleetingly call his name, but by then he was already further in the facility and she was out of sight.

He followed the sound of more gunshots to a closed doorway. Hesitating only a moment, Shepard palmed the door control and barged inside, pistol raised. From what he could tell of the desks adorned with various computer terminals and scientific equipment, Shepard guessed he walked into a lab of some kind.

He found two men, one standing and pointing a pistol at the other man who was on the ground. The man on the ground wore a medical uniform and was cowering behind a desk. The standing man wore Cerberus armor, but Shepard could tell it was hastily thrown on and not actually belonging to him. Maybe he'd overpowered a guard and had the sense of mind to put on something with more protection?

The standing man's gaze and gun snapped to Shepard when he walked in. "Stop right there! Come any closer and I'll-" But his hazel eyes widened as his words trailed off.

Shepard's gut clenched at the sight of his second ghost in the past ten minutes. Corporal Mathew Toombs still had that dark complexion and mussy brown hair. It looked as though he hadn't shaved in some time.

"Toombs, it's me, Shepard," the commander said calmly, lowering his gun but not putting it away.

"No… no that's not right." Toombs blinked rapidly and shook his head, probably trying to clear his head of phantoms just like Shepard did earlier. "Shepard, you're… you're dead. You're not here. They told us there weren't any more survivors. Only Cho and I made it out."

"I talked to Cho on the way here," Shepard said slowly. "He told me about what happened, about how you were captured after the Maws attacked."

"Yeah, captured by these pricks!" Toombs rounded his gun back on the scientist, who instinctively cowered behind his desk. "They call themselves Cerberus. It's all their fault, Shepard! They're the ones who sicced the Maws on our unit so they could study how the Maws hunted!"

"You can't believe what he's saying!" the man on the floor pleaded. "I'm Dr. Wayne. Please, restrain Mr. Toombs! He has very severe mental trauma and he needs his medication!"

Shepard leveled a deathly stare at the doctor, who looked between him and Toombs fearfully. "I think it's past the point for your lies to be useful anymore, Dr. Wayne."

Toombs looked back at him with quaking eyes. "You mean… you believe me? I'm not going crazy?"

"Yes, I do. Cerberus has been causing even more damage ever since Akuze. I've been following their trail, and I'm going to put a stop to them."

"Then let's end it!" Toombs proclaimed. "Dr. Wayne's the only scientist left, and he was the one who started the project. He deserves to die, Shepard! Let me kill him!"

Shepard held a hand up placating the enraged man. "Toombs, I know how you feel, but the facility is already under our control, and Dr. Wayne is our prisoner. If you kill him now, Alliance prosecutors will arrest you for murder charges."

"Fuck you, Shepard!" His gun wavered erratically, still aimed at Dr. Wayne's cover. Toombs was red in the face and tears had begun streaming down his cheeks. "You got out. You don't know what kind of sick shit they put us through for _years_. What do you expect me to do, just let him live?"

"I didn't say that," Shepard said in a chillingly calm voice. "They can arrest you, Toombs, but not me. I'm with Special Tactics and Recon now. Everyone will look the other way if I kill him."

Both of their faces snapped to him. Dr. Wayne looked purely horrified at the mere suggestion. Toombs' gazed flickered between the doctor and Shepard. "You're serious?" he asked as he lowered his gun.

"No!" the doctor hollered. "This isn't right! I demand a fair trial!"

"You've lost the right to demand anything," Shepard accused. He started taking slow, methodical steps toward the doctor.

Dr. Wayne scrambled backward, but in his panicked state he could barely move any faster than Shepard's stalking pace. "No, please Commander, this isn't right! You can't prove anything!"

"I don't have to," Shepard growled. "And no one's going to care if you don't get your trial."

_These people, Cerberus?_

"I… I…" Dr. Wayne backed up into another desk, and he looked around frantically as he realized there was nowhere to go. "Okay, I admit it! I work for Cerberus! I headed the project! But it was never my idea; I was just following orders!"

Shepard grabbed the doctor by the scruff of his neck and threw him to the ground. He brought his boot down on Wayne's chest to keep him from crawling away.

_They're the ones who make monsters._

All Shepard saw was red. He looks at this pitiful man writhing on the ground and all he can feel hatred. "Just following orders?" he mimed, looking upon the doctor with pure fury. "You had a choice, doctor. Even if it wasn't your idea, you still chose to stand by and let almost fifty people be slaughtered."

"I was wrong, I can see that now!" he cried, clawing pathetically at Shepard's boot. "But I want to make it right. Please, let me live and I'll tell you everything I know! I'm worth more alive than dead."

Shepard leveled his side arm right at Wayne's face, and the doctor quieted. "Do you really think anything you can say will make up for what you did? For how you killed Kahoku and his men? For how you slaughtered _my_ men? For all the other innocents whose lives you've destroyed?" Shepard was shouting now, not caring who saw or heard him. For once he didn't care about his Mask or playng the part of the good little soldier. All he felt was anger and resentment and that fact that he could _end_ it.

Dr. Wayne was nothing but a blubbering mess on the floor. "Please, oh God no, please! I don't want to die! I have family! I only took the job to protect them! Please, commander, have mercy. I'm sorry for what I did. I'm not a monster! It was just orders! It's not my fault!"

No one could argue Shepard didn't have every right to kill Wayne. Cerberus had proven themselves to be nothing but thieves, liars, and murderers. So what if Dr. Wayne really did have information? Nothing would ever bring back all the people Cerberus have killed. Dr. Wayne was a murderer. A monster who didn't deserve to live. There was absolutely nothing stopping Shepard from pulling the trigger.

_Don't let them turn you into one too._

Shepard stood over the mewling Wayne for a long, tense moment. His finger squeezed the trigger of his gun, only a hair width away from discharging a round. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to fire the gun and finally be done with it.

But a quiet voice in the back of his mind urged otherwise, one that sounded a lot like Ashley, and for the life of him Shepard couldn't stop listening to it.

"What are you doing?" Toombs demanded behind him. "Kill him, Shepard! Make him pay for what he did to us."

Toombs, who had to watch as his friends and squad died around him. Who was captured by the enemy and tortured for years like a lab rat. Of all people, he deserved justice against Cerberus the most.

But his judgment was clouded. After years of stewing in his hatred for his captors, his vision became skewed. The anger made him forget who he was; an Alliance Marine. On who took the oath of service to protect the innocent and save lives.

_Am I so different?_ Shepard questioned himself. He's lived with Akuze for years, never fully ridding himself of the guilt and anger he felt for surviving when the others didn't. But in all that time, Shepard never succumbed to his anger. He helped others. He protected people. Ashley helped him to heal. He never used his grief as an excuse to forget who he was.

Dr. Wayne was a monster. Nothing he could say or do would ever change that. He deserved to die more than most.

But what would that make Shepard if he played executioner? He may be ridding the world of a monster, but would he be any better than the man he killed in cold blood?

The raging inferno inside of him died down, until Shepard felt nothing left but cold and hollow. He took his finger off the trigger and put his pistol back on his hip. He couldn't do it.

Behind him, Toombs sputtered. "But, Shepard, I thought…"

Dr. Wayne seemed to realize his demise was no longer imminent, and he calmed down, looking up at Shepard with sad eyes. Shepard let his boot off of the man, and Dr. Wayne eased himself into a sitting position against the desk.

"Do we really deserve to kill him?" Shepard asked Toombs quietly, his voice sad.

Toombs rounded on him with rage in his eyes. "He killed our friends, Shepard. He and everyone else like him deserve to die for what they did."

"I'm not saying he shouldn't pay for what he's done," Shepard conceded. He turned back to Toombs. "But are we willing to bring ourselves down to his level?"

Toombs' gaze shifted between him and doctor, his emotions ranging from disbelieving to furious. But Shepard saw it. That crack. The barely subconscious realization that Shepard may be right.

"We're better than him, Toombs," Shepard went on. "We're soldiers, not monsters. Dr. Wayne did everything he could to destroy who we are. We have every right to be angry with him. We have every right to kill him. But if we do kill him, then we're no better than Cerberus. We're no better than the people who ordered him to sic the maws on us."

"But… this…" Toombs paced back and forth, trying to come up with a way to refute Shepard claims. "This is justice, Shepard! Justice for all the people he and Cerberus have killed."

"Is that how you want to honor the memory of friends? By spilling more blood? By proving we're no better than the people who tried to kill us?"

Toombs stopped moving as the words hit him. His demeanor became saddened and he deflated upon himself. "Do you… really think that's the best thing we can do?"

Shepard shook his head forlornly. "It isn't about what's best. It's about what's right." He hardened his gaze and turned back to Dr. Wayne.

The doctor averted his gaze fearfully. "I'll cooperate, commander. Everything I know about Cerberus I'll divulge."

"See that you do." Shepard grabbed the doctor's arm and hoisted him up. He bent Wayne's arms behind his back and tied his wrists together with a nylon restraint.

Shepard glanced at Toombs as he cuffed Wayne. Toombs was staring at the ground, looking lost. Years of torture only to end so suddenly; he probably didn't know how to react now that it was finally over. He still had the pistol gripped in his hand.

"You can put the gun away now, Mat," Shepard urged. "It's over."

"No," Toombs whispered in a voice so cold it sent shivers down Shepard's spine. "It's not over yet." He looked back up at him, and Shepard saw the eyes of man who had absolute certainty of what he would do next.

"Just one last thing," Toombs told him, and Shepard's eyes widened as he realized what was happening.

Toombs aimed his gun upward.

Shepard shoved Wayne aside and lunged.

The gun went off.

* * *

><p>"It's been quiet for a long time."<p>

Ashley stood guard over the dozen or so prisoners, her assault rifle in hand. Most of them had huddled over by the far wall, and a couple were helping Kaidan as he attended to a woman who was still bleeding out from a shot to her gut. They'd lost quite a few of their number during the initial break out. To her it seemed like a sheer miracle they were able to last as long as they did.

She didn't need to be guarding them, really. They already knew Shepard and his team were Alliance and they were here to help, and the prisoners were being more than cooperative. If anything they seemed to be too shell shocked to offer up much resistance. Ashley couldn't imagine going through years of torture and then having the nightmare end so suddenly. But Alliance regulations were clear; until they were detained, someone had to watch over them.

Her palms were sweaty and she was antsy on her feet. She kept stealing glances at the corridor Shepard had gone down in pursuit of the person who was still shooting. Probably a man named Toombs, if Cho was to be believed.

Ving Cho being alive still hasn't fully registered in her mind yet. Ash could only imagine the shock Shepard went through at seeing a friend who was supposed to be dead all these years. He'd looked like he'd been on the brink of having a meltdown after Cho first revealed himself. Shepard had recovered from the initial shock, but he couldn't possibly be taking this well. If Ash saw Brandson or Bhatia alive, she didn't know if she could handle it as well as Shepard did.

Kaidan glanced up at her after he pulled a medi gel injection out of the woman's abdomen. "Shepard's going to be fine, Williams," he placated. "He's a good soldier."

"It's not his fighting skills I'm worried about," she told him coolly, keeping her eyes on the corridor.

"I'd be more worried about Toombs," Cho offered. He was sitting with his back against the wall, his hands clasped over his knees to keep them from shaking so badly.

Ash eyed him warily. "Why's that?"

The man standing next to Cho spoke up. "Toombs and Dr. Wayne hate each. I mean, we all hated the Cerberus people in this place, but Toombs _really_ hated Wayne. I'd bet Toombs snuck away during the breakout just to hunt him down."

The nightmare of madman with a gun shooting Shepard just to determine if he was an apparition or not flitted through Ashley's mind. It panicked her more than it should have. "I'm going after him. He needs backup."

She hadn't gotten farther when Alenko halted her with a stern, "Williams!" He gave her a hard look. "We have our orders. Shepard will radio us if he needs help."

"He's needs someone watching his back, LT. I can't let him go off alone in hostile base searching for some crazed-"

After so much unbroken silence, another gunshot rang out, causing everyone to flinch. A dozen of the worse possible scenarios played through Ashley's mind, and she couldn't stand idle any longer. She shared one more fleeting glance with Kaidan before she ran off.

"Chief, wait!" he called, but it was too late. Ashley was already barreling through the base, in search of where Shepard had gone.

She heard the sounds of a physical altercation and followed them to their source. She paused briefly by an open doorway before barging in, rifle raised. She quickly assessed the situation.

One man in a medical uniform, probably Dr. Wayne, laid on the floor to her left, his arms bound behind his back. Aside from some scuffs and a ruined pair of pants, he looked like he was fine. Wayne was staring across the room, and Ashley followed his gaze.

She found Shepard on the ground with another man she didn't recognize, probably Toombs. Shepard was behind Toombs, one arm choke holding Toombs around the neck. His other hand was holding onto Toombs' wrist, who had a gun pointed upward. The light around them was flickering, and Ash glanced up to see a bullet hole in the lighting panel above them.

Toombs was struggling in Shepard's grip, trying to aim the gun toward his own head. "Let me go, Shepard!" he cried. "Just let me end it!"

"Let go of the gun, Toombs!" Shepard tried ordering, but the other man didn't listen and continued to struggle. "The Alliance is on the way; we can get you help!"

Ashley stood stone still, one eye on Dr. Wayne so he couldn't try running, but she didn't know what else to do. If she intervened she might only end up getting herself or Shepard shot.

"I can't go back!" Toombs sobbed. "Not after what they did to me. I just wanna make the screaming stop!"

"You can go back, Matty," Shepard soothed. "We can all go back. You've still got a family out there. How do you think they'd feel knowing you were alive all these years but you killed yourself the moment you got out?"

"Fuck you, Shepard! It's not your choice." Toombs was still struggling, but his words were only halfhearted and pitiful. "The nightmares… they won't stop, Shepard. I can't live with them. I can't go back after everything they've done to me."

Shepard jostled Toombs, still keeping a hand on the other man's arm to keep him from pointing the gun to his head. "Be _better_ than them, Mat. They want you to kill yourself, because then you won't be able to testify against them. But you're strong, Mat, stronger than they think you are. Please, just let go of the gun and let us help you."

Toombs had his eyes shut tight, breathing heavy. Very slowly, almost unwillingly, his grip slackened and the pistol clattered to the floor. Dr. Wayne eyed the firearm covetously. Before he could do anything Ashley stepped forward and kicked the gun away, keeping her rifle trained on the petulant doctor.

Shepard released Toombs from the subduing hold, opting to simply hug the man close to his chest. Toombs sobbed in his arms. "I'm sorry, John, I'm so sorry…"

"It's alright, Mat," Shepard said quietly. He finally noticed Ashley's presence and looked up at her. She can see his eyes swim with more emotions than she can count. But in this very moment, he looks more like the Shepard she knew before Edolus, not the man he became afterward. .

"I just want the screaming to stop," Toombs muttered sadly.

Still looking at Ashley, Shepard told him, "It'll stop eventually, Mat, but first you need to find someone who can help you move on."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: As I'm sure many of you have noticed, I seriously changed the events of the Dead Scientists mission as we see it in the game. I like the mission as we see it in the game, but I thought this scenario made more sense for the story I wanted to present. <em>

_As always, thank you to everyone who has stuck it out with this story thus far! If you'd like to read more, please feel free to Favorite/Follow and Review._


	19. Chapter 19 - Surprise!

_Pre-Author's Note: No, your eyes are not deceiving you, nor is Fanfiction glitching out. I am in fact skipping chapter 18 and going straight to chapter 19._

_Why, you ask? Because I hit a wall and no amount of mental willpower could get me through, over, or around it. So rather than continue to wallow on a single chapter and force you all to wait, I decided to move onto events I have planned out and already know how I'm going to write._

_For a brief synopsis of chapter 18: The survivors of the Cerberus base are taken to the Normandy where they receive medical treatment .Ashley and Shepard have a serious talk, they fix their relationship, Ash helps Shepard to move past his PTSD, and sexy times are had. Yay happy endings!_

_Hopefully someday I will be able to finish chapter 18, but until then, let's get on with the show!_

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Parties

Chapter 19 – Surprise!

* * *

><p><em>April 11<em>_th__, 2183, Earth Alliance Standard Calendar_

Ashley couldn't help feeling positively giddy. This was the first time she and John actually got to spend this certain date together. And now that they were officially in a relationship, Ashley wanted to pull out as many stops living on a small ship out in the middle of space could allow.

She gripped the box wrapped in bright red paper tightly, too excited to keep still so she settled for bouncing on the soles of her feet. Even the abominably slow elevator she rode in couldn't dampen her mood today.

The lift finally came to a stop and opened up to the mess hall. Ash briefly said hello to all those currently enjoying their meals as she breezed past them. She ignored the knowing smirks some of them gave her, but instead reveled in the feeling of knowing that they knew she was on close enough terms to give Shepard a present personally. Twas a privilege not many could say of themselves.

Ash keyed the door interfaced and waltzed inside, as she was the only one on the ship allowed such unrestricted access to John's personal quarters. She found him sitting at his desk, eating a bowl of soup as he went over reports on his terminal. John looked up with his spoon comically sticking out of his mouth, and he broke out into a large grin upon seeing her. His gaze then traveled southward, drawn to the bright red box she held in her hands.

He gave her a bemused look as he set his spoon and bowl aside. "You didn't."

"I did!" Ash couldn't help the cheeky grin on her face.

John merely sighed and crossed arms as he leaned back in his seat, still looking up at her with his goofy smile. "I thought we said we weren't going to do gifts."

"I know what we said. But I know you well enough that I can predict with absolute certainty you already got something to spoil me with three days from now."

Her boyfriend shrugged shamelessly. "Alright, you caught me, guilty as charged." John finally got up from his seat and walked over to her. He placed his hands over hers on the box as he leaned in to give her a quick smooch. "You are the best girlfriend a guy could ask for."

"Don't I know it." Ash jostled the box in their hands. "Now open your gift! I wanna see what you think."

"I'm already pretty sure I'm going to love it," Shepard placated as he set the box on his desk. He set about working his fingers underneath the neatly folded corners and carefully prying off the tape.

While John opened his gift at a snail's pace, Ashley stood nearby, hands on hips and foot tapping impatiently. "Are you seriously one of those people who try to save wrapping paper?"

"But it looks so nice and shiny."

"Just tear the damn thing open!"

"Okay!" John grabbed ahold of one side of the wrapping paper and pulled it across with a satisfying _rriiiiip!_ Ash grinned unreservedly as the wrapping paper was pulled away to reveal the gift that lay underneath.

John's hands slowed as he realized just what it was he received. "You didn't…" he said to Ash wondrously. He freed the gift, which was actually two boxes, from their confines for them both to admire.

The first box proudly displayed the picture an Alliance Cruiser model, while the second boasted a portrait of a Destiny Ascension model. Both boxes gave a detailed list of every single piece they came with, the exact specifications of how they were scaled according to their real life counterparts, and the list of paints included that the buyer would later use to paint the ships when they were completely built.

John had a nostalgic smile spreading across his face as he examined the two gifts. "I remember you saying you used to have a collection of models like these before you enlisted," Ashley explained. "Now you've got your own ship and cabin, I figured you could work on these in your off time and spruce up your living space a little."

"I haven't seen one of these in a long time," John whispered as he gazed at the boxes. He turned back to her and gave her such a look of gratitude and happiness. "I don't know what to say. Thank you so much, Ash. I love them."

There was that little, innocuous, four letter word again, and it made Ash slightly wince internally. Ever since she realized she was in love with John Shepard the thought has both terrified and invigorated her. But Ash hasn't figured out yet how to tell him. It never feels like the right time. Even now, how much John loved her back was plain to see, but Ash couldn't bring herself to say she loved him yet.

But that didn't mean she couldn't show it. Grinning coyly, Ash sauntered up to John, gently took the boxes and set them aside, and looped her arms around his neck to pull him down to her level. "Well, you know how much I like making you happy," she told him before closing the distance and locking their lips.

John gripped her supple waist and pulled them flush together. "All you have to do to make me happy is being around." Another kiss. "Although you'll never see me complain if you want to go above the call of duty."

Ash only hummed thoughtfully through another kiss, longer this time. "Just make sure to remember this three days from now," she added cheekily.

His affirming answer was nothing more than a growl that ripped right through to Ashley's core. Their make out was intensifying, the kisses becoming longer and deeper. Her body was starting to react the same way it always did in John's presence, and for once she didn't care about being absent from the rest of the ship for a little while.

"You know…," she conveyed between oral assaults, "my shift doesn't start… for another… twenty minutes."

"Is that so?" he asked, intrigued. "Because I'd only need ten."

She snorted with humor. "Like you could actually last ten minutes."

Suddenly John grabbed her upper thighs and hoisted her up. Ashley gasped as he deposited her on his desk. Data pads clattered to the ground as they were brushed aside. Ash spread her knees apart and John eagerly stepped between them to fill the void. "Like _you_ could last ten minutes," he teased back.

Ash paused for a moment to grip either side of John's face and lean back to get a good look at him. She saw his beautiful lips agape, panting with arousal. Already his cheeks were flushed. In his deep blue eyes she could see all the caring emotions he had for her.

She smiled adoringly back up at him. "Happy birthday, John."

* * *

><p><em>April 13<em>_th__, 2183, Earth Alliance Standard Calendar _

"Worst. Mission. Ever!" Ash declared as she, Shepard and Wrex disembarked from the Mako. On yet another mission from Hackett, they'd been sent down to Elatania to find the data recorder from a crashed satellite. Unfortunately, they discovered the module had been pilfered by a local Pyjak. The three of them then spent the last few hours driving around and rooting through Pyjak nests to find the recorder.

"At least nothing was shooting at us," Shepard tried.

"That's what made it the worst," Wrex agreed with Ash. "Anything would have better than chasing down vermin and shifting through their feces. You should have just let me shoot them all."

"I am many things, Wrex, but I don't intend to be on PETA's most wanted list any time soon."

"Uh huh," Ash drawled. "Tell that to the poor cow you blew up because you actually thought it stole some of your credits."

He turned a mild glare on her. "It was shifty looking! And I lost, like, fifty credits before I realized what was going on."

"Whatever," Wrex dismissed as he stowed his guns away in his locker. "I'm gonna go get some grub."

As the Korgan sauntered off toward the elevator, Ash and Shepard retreated to their lockers and started peeling off their armor.

"I'm still with Wrex," Ash said as she unbuckled her torso plates. "That was a pretty boring mission. I didn't even work up a sweat! How am I supposed to laud over the techies on the bridge that the marines are the superior race when I don't have the smell to back it up?"

John was working his greaves off. "You could just, I don't know, talk to each other like normal human beings?"

"Naw, that's lame."

"Alright, fine," John conceded with a chuckle. "On the plus-side we did pick up some more gear, so why don't you go through all of those and see what we can sell to… oh."

Ash looked up from her locker to see John staring off into space with a confused look. She followed his gaze to where Joans the Requisition officer should have been stationed, but the young man wasn't there. "Isn't Richard supposed to be on duty right now?" she asked John.

"He should be. And where's Garrus?"

Usually the cargo bay had to be cleared whenever the Mako disembarked or came back on board. As soon as the all clear was given, Garrus was always the first to rush out and attend to his 'baby.' But their Turian friend was currently nowhere to be seen. And now that they were looking, there wasn't anyone else in the cargo hold either. Ash and John were completely alone.

"Well this is weird," Ash stated aloud.

"Maybe everyone's still on lunch break," John suggested. He shrugged and went back to stowing away his gear.

Ash pulled out a set of her BDU's and put them on over her under suit. Today's mission report promised to a quick affair due to the lack of action, so she figured she'd take a shower when she got that done first. Next to her John donned himself in uniform as well.

As they walked back to the elevator Ash asked, "So how come you brought Wrex along if you thought it was just going to be a simple retrieval?"

"You never know when a situation can get out of hand," John answered. "Besides, you and Wrex were the only people I could get ahold of."

John counted off on his fingers as they board the elevator and ascended. "Adams harangued Tali in the engine room for some tests. Garrus and Joker were in the middle of a pissing contest and he was very adamant about not wanting to back down. Chakwas informed me Kaidan was confined to the med bay because he had a killer migraine. And Liara was holed up in her room going over some Prothean artifact when we found in our last run."

That was certainly odd by Ash's experience. Everyone was usually clambering at the bit to join Shepard on his away missions. It wasn't often for so many of their squad mates to suddenly be too busy with other things.

"Well, their loss," Ash finally concluded. "However much of a loss not wading through space monkey crap may be."

John seemed not to have heard her, stroking the stubble on his chin thoughtfully. "I can't be certain, but I can't help but feel there's some sort of plotting afoot." The elevator stopped on the second floor and the doors opened. "Oh hold on. Why are the lights out?"

The lights were indeed turned off. Peeking around the partition, Ash couldn't see much farther than her hand if it was fully outstretched.

As they carefully walked around into the mess hall, Ash called out, "Hey Joker? Is there something wrong with the lights in the-"

The lights flashed on…

"SURPRISE!"

…and Ash let out an undignified screech of terror as she jumped back into John's arms.

The two of them stood there for a moment, stunned into silence as their eyes readjusted to the bright lights. Ashley's heart was still hammering in her chest as she started to make out the scene before her.

What looked to be the entirety of the _Normandy's _crew were huddled in the mess hall. Chakwas, Adams, Tali, Garrus, Liara, and even Joker were in attendance. Lots of them were wearing colorful pointy hats and holding party streamers. They were all clustered around a single table in the center of the mess, and stacked on top of that was a veritable mountain of different colored boxes. Ash spied a banner hanging over the whole scene. It read, "Happy Birthday Williams and Shepard!"

"Oh god," Ash moaned as she buried her face in Shepard's chest as the crew laughed at them for being so scared. Her cheeks burned as she couldn't help laughing so hard. John wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, chuckling nervously himself.

"What's wrong, Williams?" a familiar Turian voice goaded. "Caught off guard, were we?"

Without turning around Ash held up a hand and made an obscene gesture in the general direction of Garrus' voice. That got him another round of jeers and laughs from the crew.

Ash finally pried herself away from John's embrace, blinking away the tears as their friends came up to pat them on the back and get them into the swing of things. Somewhere somebody got club music to start playing through the ship speakers at a low level and another person started doling out beverages, all nonalcoholic, of course.

"How in the world did you plan all of this?" Shepard asked as he and Ash were almost forcibly made to sit down at the table and drinks were shoved in their hands.

"Very secretively," Chakwas intoned, giving the commander a pat on the shoulder. "Although because you and Williams spend so much time together, it wasn't exactly difficult to set up secret meetings." The flush on Ashley cheeks darkened a degree but her smile remained giddy.

"We went through a lot of trouble getting you two off the ship for long enough to get this set up," Garrus explained as he sat down across from them. "Spirits, you're lucky Wrex doesn't care about parties and agreed to go planetside with you guys and keep you busy."

"So that's why the four of you were too busy to come along?" Ashley asked.

"Of course!" Kaidan told them. "Garrus was sort of the ring leader in charge of setting up, I can't lie for crap, and Tali and Liara would have been too jittery with excitement to not give anything away."

Over to the side Tali crossed her arms and harrumphed somewhat. "Well he's not wrong," Liara placated her Quarian friend.

"Yeah, yeah, we totally duped Shepard and Williams," said Joker with a laugh. "Now come on! It's gifts time!"

One by one, members of the crew stepped forward to pick their presents out of the pile and present them to the birthday recipients. Most of their friends gave them rather atypical gifts, such as cards with extranet coupons so they could use the money to buy their own gifts. John got a coffee maker of his very own from somebody and Ash received a new makeup set from one of the girls up on the bridge.

Garrus gifted each of them their own Kuwashi Visor, not unlike the one he wore but specially fitted for their human shaped heads. They were still new and not nearly tricked out as Garrus had made his own, so he promised John and Ash to help them mod their new equipment.

From Kaidan, John and Ash each got an almost ridiculously large pack of assorted tea flavorings and a set of fine china teacups and pot to serve them with.

Ash got a vile of a rather rare and expensive Thessian perfume from Liara. For John the Asari bought a bottle of cologne popular among Salarians, Turians, and Krogan.

Tali gave John and Ash a pair of Omni Tools she had designed and built herself. As tech wasn't exactly the forte of the two soldiers, the custom Omni Tools came preloaded with a variety of hacking algorithms and electronic defense systems. Also designed by Tali.

Wrex showed up just long enough to deposit his two gifts on the table; a pair of Avalanche shotguns, already modded to pack even more punch than they usually did. Although Wrex did pause long enough to grab a bowl of pretzels before retreating down into the cargo hold.

Joker very proudly presented Shepard with a month's subscription to Fornax. He sent Ash a saucy wink while doing so and she had to resist the urge to slap the beard off of his face. To Ash he gave a gift certificate to a fancy lingerie shop on the Citadel. Joker spent the rest of the party asking for his hat back.

From Chakwas, Shepard received a bottle of high quality Varani wine. Ash got an aged bottle of Irish whiskey from the matronly doctor. They both promised not to break open either bottle without inviting Karen to have a drink first.

Ash couldn't remember what Joans had gotten for Shepard, but the gift she received from the Requisitions Officer was rather suggestive. Richard had given her a large box of over forty different assorted chocolates. The dark red box and intricate designs of the candies suggested a somewhat romantic gesture. Maybe it was about time Ash started dropping bigger hints that she was spoken for.

John quickly ducked into his room to bring out Ashley's gift to him and show off the new model ships. He also presented his gift to Ash, seeing as how they were already in the middle of a surprise party. John had gotten her a copy of the latest edition of The Alfred Lord Tennyson Compendium, a work containing most if not all of the essays and poems Tennyson had written throughout his life. The book was in pristine condition; leather bound with real made-from-trees- paper. Ash loved it, but privately she couldn't help feeling the gift was a little lacking. John had always shown an inordinate amount of zeal and passion for their relationship, so Ash was surprised her birthday present from him wasn't quite so grandiose.

However, she paid the thought little mind, too happy to simply be with her boyfriend and their closest friends, all having fun and partying. Not too long after the gifts were taken care of did Liara and Tali suddenly disappear and come back holding a large cake. When they set it down on the table Ashley could see the cake was divided into two sections. Ashley's half was vanilla and strawberry marbled with a blue Alliance symbol decorating the top. Shepard's half was dark chocolate emblazoned with a bright red N7. On both of their halves were the respective numbers of candles for how old they were turning; twenty six for Ash, and twenty nine for Shepard.

Of course everyone else broke out into the customary 'Happy Birthday' song. Ashley noticed Liara not-so-subtly pull out a stock card to read from as she sang along.

The song was nearing its crescendo, and Ash was wondering what to wish for when she felt something brush her hand under the table. She glanced over to find John staring back at her with those beautiful blue eyes of his.

It's been a while since she's seen him this… happy. John had gotten over the ordeal with Cerberus and his old unit, but Ash knew he was still recovering from the emotional ordeal. It made her heart soar to see him being so carefree and joyous. This whole mission took a lot out of everyone, but Ash was glad they were still capable of all sharing moments like this, where everyone could have a good time and simply forget about the gravity of what it was they were doing on this mission.

Ash beamed back at him, happier than she's felt a quite a while too. She reached out and locked their fingers together under the table, reveling in the warmth she felt from them.

"Happy birthday Ash and Jo-ohn! Happy birthday to yooouuuuuu!" their friends finally finished. Or, in Joker's case, "Happy birthday to givememyhatbaaaack!"

Just before Ash went to blow out her candles, she did one last sweep around the room. Here she was, serving aboard the finest ship in the Alliance fleet, surrounded by a crew who treated her like family. Even the alien ones she now considered to be some of the closest friends she'd ever made. Her actual family may have been thousands of light years away, but she knew they'd always love and support her. And sitting next to Ash was the man she loved with all her heart. A man she knew would always be there for her, and would always strive to prove how much he loved her back, even if neither of them could say it yet.

She and John went to blow out their candles, but Ash never made a wish. She knew she already had everything she ever wanted.

* * *

><p>"So did you enjoy your first twenty ninth birthday, Shepard?" Joker asked with mirth, dabbing at his cheek with a napkin to get the bit of frosting that missed his mouth.<p>

After Adams and Chakwas had cut the cake and everyone had gotten a piece, they all converged into their own little social circles to eat and chat for a while. Other tables were brought out so everyone could sit while they ate. John and Ash had joined a small group with Joker, Tali and Liara off to the side of the mess hall.

Tali canted her head in confusion to Joker's question. "His _first _twenty ninth birthday?" She was eating a small bowl of what looked to be the dextro equivalent of ice cream. Seeing how neither of their dextro team mates could eat the levo cake they'd made, Garrus had gone to the trouble to buy the specially sterilized treat for himself and Tali.

"It's a human vanity thing," Ash explained next John. She leaned against his arm as she picked at her marble cake. "One of the first big warning signs we're getting old is hitting the thirty years mark, so a lot of humans like to pretend they keep having twenty ninth birthdays after the first one."

"For a short lived species, I can understand that," Liara added. "We Asari live so long, most children are lucky to get birthdays more frequently than twice per decade. Turning thirty is definitely something they would get excited about."

"We'd never have a party like this on the Flotilla," said Tali. "Children might get a present or two from their parents every year before they went off on pilgrimage. After that, most Quarians don't pay much attention to their own birthdays. They might have a celebratory drink with friends, but that's about it."

"A lot of humans get like that too, where it's only another day in the year," Joker concurred. "To be honest the only reason we planned this whole shindig is because Ash's and Shepard's birthdays were so close together."

"I still appreciate it, nonetheless," John told him. To the whole group he went on, "It really means a lot to me that you all went to so much trouble. I never expected anything like this, but I'm real glad you went through with it."

"Yeah, I guess it was okay," Ash said with mock snide. "You could have sprung for a couple of adult entertainers."

"We wanted to throw a party, not give Liara a heart attack," Joker replied cheekily. Next to him, Liara blushed slightly and shoved his arm playfully.

"By the way Joker, I keep meaning to ask where you got the cake," said Liara. "The chefs did a wonderful job. The batter is so delectably moist."

Ash bristled next to him. "Ugh! Don't use that word!"

Liara turned to her with wide, innocently confused eyes. "What do you mean?"

"That… word you just used to describe the cake. I hate that word."

"What, you mean moist?" Joker asked.

"Stop it!" Ash complained as she flung Joker's hat back at him. "It's such a disgusting word. I have no idea how it ever got approved to be in the human dictionary."

Tali canted her head at Shepard. "Is this a human thing?"

"No, it's just an Ashley thing," John answered. He turned back to his girlfriend and asked, "How come you never told me there were certain words you don't like because they're not aesthetically pleasing?"

"Because I knew you'd take every possible chance to say them in front of me."

"I would never… actually, yeah, that sounds like something I would do. But you have to admit it's kinda childish getting mad at people just for using the word 'moist.'"

She scowled at him. "Well I think it's perfectly reasonable to deny your boyfriend sex when he starts getting on your nerves."

"Shutting up."

"Good boy. Here's your reward." Ash forked a piece of her cake and directed it into John's waiting mouth. Tali, Liara, and Joker all made disgusted sounds at the backs of their throats.

Across the mess hall, John heard someone speak up, "So how about a speech?" The crewman's remark was immediately followed by a chorus of "Yeah!" and "Speech!"

John only looked at Ash, the pair of them bemused with the crew's eagerness. Only when they'd starting chanting the word 'speech' like some kind of tribal war cry did Ash raise her hands in surrender. "Alright, alright! I'll go first!" She handed her plate and fork to John as she got up. Ash made her way over to the small flight of steps leading to the hallway lined with sleeper pods, stepping up onto them in lieu of a podium.

Ash waited a moment for everyone to calm down before she began. "Alright, I don't get off on listening to myself talk for hours on end, so I'll keep this brief." The jab got a round of jeers thrown in John's direction, who waved off their attention.

Ash was quiet for a moment, ringing her hands around her cup of soda. Her demeanor shifted from one of joviality to one of seriousness. "Well, you all know my history by now. As the granddaughter of General Williams, I caught a lot of flak throughout my career as a marine." A murmur spread through the crowd, mostly to the tune of, "Stupid politicians."

"After what happened on Eden Prime, I thought that was it. My unit gone, the colony in shambles, and the beacon blown to hell. If I got out alive, I was sure the brass were gonna kick my ass to the curb." Ash paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "But then Anderson said he'd gotten me reassigned to the _Normandy._ I'd never served aboard a ship before, so I had no idea what to expect.

"But serving with you all… it has to be the greatest experience I've ever had. It's only been almost three months since this mission began, and already I feel like I've seen more and lived through more spectacular events than in my entire lifetime. On the _Normandy_ I get to put all of my training to use; I'm learning new things about different places and cultures every day; and I've met a lot of people who have become some of the closest friends I've ever made, both human and not.

"So thank you, everyone. You've all made me feel so welcome and appreciated. I honestly don't know how well I would have done here if you all weren't so understanding." Ash raised her cup, smiling proudly. "To the _Normandy,_ and the best crew in the Alliance fleet."

Everyone raised their glasses and chanted, "To the _Normandy_!" After the customary drink, applause broke out for Ash as she stepped down. John stood up and traded his food with her before walking over to the designated speech area. After he moved up the steps, John took a moment to admire the group of people before him. He found the smiling faces of the most loyal crew and friends he'd ever come to know.

"Joker, am I transmitting to the whole ship?" he asked.

"Already made sure it was goin' before Ash started her speech." That was good. John knew not everyone could afford to leave their posts for the sake of a party, but he still wanted all of them to hear what he had to say. "And William's speech was pretty top notch, Shepard. I'm waiting with baited breath to see how you're gonna top her." More than a few crewmen laughed at Joker's obvious use of double entendre.

"I'm getting to that, just hold your horses," Shepard defended. He waited a moment for the laughter to die down. "I look around, and I see the most loyal and steadfast crew I've ever had the pleasure of working with. I also see the worst PR nightmare in the Alliance fleet's history." The crew let out a round of giggles and cheers of triumphs at his remark.

John laughed with them, but then he took a moment to calm himself down and adopt a more businesslike manner. "I realize this isn't how most of you planned to spend your tour of duty. Chasing down a rogue Spectre before he can bring back some kind of doomsday race of aliens. It's the stuff of wild fantasies. When all of this first started, I made it abundantly clear to you all that this wasn't a one way ticket. If you had any reservations or if you thought your skills weren't best suited here, I would have listened and accommodated you as best I could.

"But I'm happy to say it never came to that, with anyone. You've all performed your duties admirably and with a level of competency greater than what the Alliance requires. I've gotten to know each and every one of you, and I can say with absolute certainty you've earned the right to be here, on the _Normandy_. There's not a single person on this crew who should be anywhere else."

John paused for a moment to let his words sink in. "But you're more than that. Despite all of your different backgrounds, you all work together as though you've been doing it since you were kids. On this ship, it doesn't matter if we're humans, Turians, Quarians, Asari or Krogans. It doesn't change the fact we're family.

"And I want you all to know I consider you as part of my family. I would defend you, fight beside you, and die for you, any of you, if it came to that. Because this is the greatest kind of family I could have ever asked for, and I cannot truly express just how immeasurably proud I am. I'd go to hell and back for you all, because I know you'd do the same for me."

He locked eyes with Ashley, and much like the rest of the crew she had a big smile and dewy eyes. Perhaps John was lying just a tad bit. Maybe he did consider the crew of the _Normandy_ to be his family, but there was still one person he held above all the rest.

Before his admiration for his crew could overtake him, John raised his glass and said, "To the Alliance. To the best damn crew in the fleet. And to family."

"To family!" the crew cheered. They stood up to applaud as he stepped down, and John bashfully ducked his head at all of the praise. Most of the time he really just pulled all the stuff in his speeches out of his ass.

He watched Ashley stride toward him, and before John knew what was happening she'd already grabbed his shoulder and pulled him down before crashing her lips against his. By instinct alone he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss. A new round of cheers rose up around them.

"God, finally!"

"I fucking knew it!"

"Aww that so swee… wait, Joans, why are you crying?"

"Get back here, Montreal! Just admit you lost the bet and give me my money!"

But John couldn't hear any of them. In this moment, John had the woman he loved in his arms, and he couldn't care about anything else.

* * *

><p><em>April 14<em>_th__, 2183, Earth Alliance Standard Calendar_

Shepard stepped out into the cargo bay, carefully keeping the surprise hidden behind his back. As he walked by he briefly met Joans' gaze, but the young man quickly ducked back down to his wares. And for those who may ask; No, John did not feel at all bad about dashing the Ensign's hopes and dreams.

His gaze shifted to Garrus, and with a subtle nod the Turian abandoned his work by the Mako and made for the engine room. He made up some excuse about wanting Joans to help and he practically dragged the human along with him.

On the other side of the cargo bay, Wrex met John's eyes and barely needed more encouragement. With a scowl the Krogan pushed himself off of his spot on the wall and headed for the elevator back to the mess. Now that all possible snooping eyes were accounted for, John strode toward the only other person left in the cargo hold.

Ashley had been working on one of the Avalanche shotguns they'd gotten from Wrex, but she set her tools aside when she noticed John coming toward her. "Hey you," she said with a lecherous grin.

"Hey you," he shot back. He curled a hand around the small of her back and leaned in for a quick, chaste kiss. Since their relationship was pretty much public knowledge on the ship now, John was far less reticent about public displays of affection.

"So I was just talking to Hackett, about our mission yesterday," he told her after he pulled back. "You know he was actually in on the party?"

"You're kidding."

"Seriously, the man just told me himself. Granted, Hackett really did need that satellite info so he was eventually going to send a team anyway. I guess Chakwas gave him a call and he figured he could kill two birds with one stone."

"I guess I'll have to thank him the next time we're at Arcturus." Ash leaned her hip against the workbench and spied the arm John was still keeping behind his back. "What've you got there?"

"It's your birthday present!" John told her.

Ash furrowed her brow at him. "But you already gave me my present yesterday. Which I loved, by the way."

"I'm glad you liked it. But in the end, it was, however, a decoy present."

Ash only gave him a skeptical look, and John countered with a bashful smile. "Considering how close our birthdays are, I had a feeling the crew might plan something. I already had a gift for you, but it wouldn't exactly be considered just a friendly gesture if everyone else saw it. So I got you the book as well, because that was a nice, safe gift no one would suspect to have romantic overtones. But then a certain _someone_ went and kissed me, dashing any and all mystery the crew had left about us."

"Who kissed you?" Ashley asked with a grin. "I'll kick their ass for kissing my boyfriend." She stood up on her toes to give him another peck on the lips. "Though I do understand where you're coming from. And since the whole crew knows about us, there's nothing stopping you from giving it to me now, right?"

"No there is not," he agreed. With a great flourished he revealed the gift from behind his back and presented her with a medium sized, rectangular black box. "To the most wonderful girl in the galaxy, straight from my heart."

Ash looked at him incredulously as she accepted the gift. "You got me jewelry? You know I don't normally go for this kind of…" She pried the lid off and looked inside. "..._oh_."

She slowly lifted out a slender silver chain to reveal a necklace, and John quietly pried the box and lid out of her unresisting fingers. Ash cradled the necklace with reverence. The chain connected at either end of a flat, sterling silver crescent moon. In the middle of the crescent sat a round, white gem, one inch in diameter. It was pearlescent, but still somewhat see-through to reveal rolling waves of gem formation in the interior. It almost seemed to glow with its own light source.

Ash looked at it with awe, her mouth slack. "John, this is… _beautiful._ I don't know if I've ever seen anything like it."

"It's a Thessian Moonstone," he explained. John wasn't sure if Ash was actually hearing his words, but her look of bewilderment was enough for him. "The last time we were on the Citadel, I saw this in a display case and I just knew it would be perfect for you."

She gave him a questioning glance, and John went on explaining in a slightly more hesitant voice. "Like most everything else on Thessia, these Moonstones have very trace amounts of Eezo woven into the gem structure. This gives them the special ability to become extra luminescent in dark areas, especially whenever the moon's out."

John rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "When we first met I had a lot of problems. I was in a dark place, mentally. And then you came along and showed me the way back to living my life normally again. I guess I got you the necklace because you were the light that shined my way through the darkness, and this necklace is my way of showing you."

Ash snorted and squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears. "That has to be the corniest shit you've ever told me."

He gave her a small smile. "I know you don't normally like jewelry, but as your faithful boyfriend I felt it was my duty to at least once in a while get you som-oomph!"

She'd cut him off when she threw her arms around his neck and jumped into his arms, planting their mouths together in a searing kiss. John curled his arms around her tightly, wishing he'd never have to let go of this wonderful woman.

Ash pulled back to look at him with glistening eyes and an emotional smile. "It the best present you've ever given me," she told him emphatically. Ash handed the necklace to him, and then carefully turned herself around in his grasp to present her neck to him. Getting the hint, John looped the necklace around her front and then attached the clasp around her neck.

She turned back around and asked, "So does it look good on me?"

To John, Ashley would always be the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. There was nothing anyone could ever put her in that would detract from her beauty in his eyes. The necklace shined and shimmered in the low lighting of the cargo bay, looking every bit as dazzling as it did when John first bought it. But John thought it was made all the more stunning because of the woman it adorned, not the other way around.

He gripped her waist and pulled her close, before resting their foreheads together. "I already think you are the most stunningly attractive woman I have ever met," he whispered, "and any jewelry you wear will only ever make you all the more beautiful."

Ash smiled up at him and grazed her warm, soft fingers against his cheek. "And I think you are the most amazingly caring man I have ever met, and any gifts I get will be all the more special because they came from you."

They closed the distance to lock their lips once more, drinking each other in.

John pulled back only long enough to tell her, "Happy birthday, Ashley."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: And we're finally back! Sorry again about taking so long in between chapters. Hopefully this chapter had enough info to make up for it. But hey, this story is over one year old now! That thought is both exhilarating and somewhat terrifying to me.<em>

_Also, special shout out to YorkShireFox, SpectreStatus313, and Yale91 for checking up on me and making sure I wasn't dead! All of your kind words helped me out immeasurably, and I consider myself honored to have such devoted fans._


	20. Chapter 20 - Fallout

Chapter 20 – Fallout

Mass Effect is owned and Operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

* * *

><p>Ashley wasn't at her workbench.<p>

Shepard looked around the cargo bay, but there was no sight of her. Garrus was on top of the Mako, a grim expression on his Turian face as he attended to the auxiliary cannon. A little ways off Joans was somberly picking through his merchandise while he conversed quietly with Commander Rentola. Across the cargo bay, Captain Kirrahe and the remaining Salarian STG were licking their wounds and preparing their gear for when they would eventually have to depart.

As he searched, Shepard caught Wrex's eye and the Krogan beckoned him over. "Looking for Williams?" he asked. "She was starting to get worked up with nothing to do, like a caged varren, so Zorah called her into engineering to help with something."

"Thanks, Wrex," Shepard intoned. But before he walked off he asked, "I saw you take some good hits in Saren's base. Did you let Chakwas take a look at you?"

"Krogan are good at shrugging off bullets," Wrex told him indifferently. "But yeah, I went and got myself checked out. I knew Chakwas would pull out the needles if I tried avoiding her."

Three months ago, Shepard would have been surprised to hear Wrex say something like that. The Krogan was fiercely headstrong and independent. It still amazed Shepard sometimes how much the whole crew had changed since the mission began.

"Nice to know you're getting along with the crew, Wrex," Shepard commended. With a dismissive nod, Shepard made for the engineering bay.

"I knew she was there, you know," Wrex called after him. Shepard turned back around to face Wrex. For once the Krogan didn't look like he was entirely assured of himself, like he always did. No, Wrex almost looked uncharacteristically passive.

"On the beach, when you were talking me down, I saw her lining up her sights on me," Wrex explained. He tapped his brow plate just above his right eye. "She had her sights set right here. I could feel it. If I made a move against you, she would have sent a sniper rifle round straight into my brain."

"So what do you plan to do about it?" Shepard asked slowly.

"Nothin'," Wrex stated as if it were the obvious answer. "Maybe I'll buy her a beer when we get back to the Citadel. Standing up to a Krogan Battlemaster takes guts. And Williams has a lot more quad than a lot of Krogan I've known in my day. She was defending her mate; I can respect that."

Shepard couldn't help inwardly letting out a sigh of relief. The ship had enough problems without Wrex going on a vendetta. "You're a very strange Krogan, Wrex. But you're also a very good friend."

"Yeah, yeah, don't go trying to make me soft, Shepard," Wrex dismissed without much heat. "I'm glad Williams made it out. But Shepard, I'm… sorry about Alenko."

A cold, sick feeling settled in Shepard's chest, and he lost some of his commander-like stature. "Kaidan Alenko was a good soldier, and a much better friend. I wish we could have done more for him."

"He died a hero's death," Wrex asserted. "He always sorta acted like a wimp, but you can tell he could be dangerous when he wanted to be. And he was loyal. I would have been proud to call him Krogan." Wrex let out a gravelly chuckle. "You gotta admit though, he got one hell of a funeral pyre in the end."

Shepard didn't answer to that. No matter how grandiose and noble a death was, it didn't change the fact the hero doesn't come out of the other side.

Wrex jerked his toward the engineering bay. "Go find your woman, Shepard. I get the feeling she's the one you need to be talking to, not this crusty old Krogan."

Shepard nodded with understanding. "Wrex."

"Shepard."

As he walked away, Shepard couldn't help reflecting how his customary farewell with Wrex always left him feeling a tad bit better.

Some of the Salarian STG nodded to the commander as he passed, either as a way of thanks for saving them or as recognition of his authority on the ship. Shepard ignored them and walked into the Engineering bay, where he found the crew here to be just as somber as the rest of the ship.

An enthusiastic buzz had ran through the _Normandy_ when they'd realized they'd found Saren's base of operations on Virmire. Shepard in particular was practically foaming at the mouth to corner Saren and finally bring the Turian to justice. Looking back, Shepard wonders if it was that over eagerness which got his crewmen killed.

Ashley was the natural choice to assist Kirrahe's assault on the base, at least in Shepard's mind. Alenko was a good soldier, but he wasn't trained for full fledged engagements the same way Ash was. Besides, even though Kaidan insisted setting up the nuke would be as easy as setting a kitchen timer, Shepard still wanted the best technological mind they could afford on the ground with the nuke, in case things went south.

The mission had been running almost impossibly smooth up until that point. Sure, Shepard might have been mind jacked by another Prothean beacon, and the crew did learn the horrifying truth as to the true nature of the Reapers. But Saren's cloning facilities were being left in ruin and the turn-coat Spectre was set years behind in his research into Indoctrination.

After clearing the breeding courtyard, Shepard and his team rendezvoused with the _Normandy_. As Kaidan moved the nuke into position, they'd received a broadcast from Ashley saying the assault force was pinned down, so Shepard elected to lead a small team to bail her out while Kaidan finished up. Marines Mathews and Lewiztky volunteered to provide the Lieutenant with back up.

It all went to shit from there. Shepard's team had only made it half way to Ashley's position when a Geth dropship soared in overhead, and Kaidan reported they were being besieged by Geth forces. Alenko, Mathews and Lewiztky were all capable marines, but they knew they couldn't hold off the Geth for as long it would take to extract Ashley's team. Before Shepard was able to fully process the situation, Kaidan was already declaring he'd set the nuke to go off.

One conclusion made itself absolutely clear in Shepard's mind, and near instantly his gut bottomed out and his blood ran cold. Shepard's squad wouldn't have time to rescue both teams, extract to the _Normandy_, and clear the nuke's blast radius before it went off. Whichever team Shepard chose to assist, he was consigning the other to their deaths.

On the one hand, making sure the nuke went off should have been Shepard's priority. They had to stop Saren's research at all costs, and in the process Shepard would save three of his own crew. On the other hand, while the STG weren't Shepard's crew, Captain Kirahee was still the highest ranking officer and Shepard had the potential to save well over a dozen lives.

Ashley and Kaidan were both yelling at him to go save the other. They were both soldiers, and they both knew giving your life for the mission was a very real possibility. And both of them would do so without any regrets.

Shepard could honestly say Kaidan Alenko was one of the closest friend's he'd ever made. Like Wrex had said, he was loyal, charming, and understanding. If Pressly were to retire, Shepard would have made Kaidan his XO in a heartbeat. Kaidan was a man whom one could put their absolute faith into, and finding a person like that was beyond rare.

Ashley Williams may just be a soldier, but very few serviceman in the Alliance could compete with the level of raw talent Ash had. But Ashley… she is John's best friend, and his lover, and yet she is still so much more than that. Ashley is a part of his very soul now. She is the reason John finds the will to keep moving forward after each revelation about their enemy, no matter how dark the truth becomes. If he were to leave Ash behind, John knew he'd be killing a part of himself.

So in that moment, when Shepard had a choice he knew he could never go back on, Shepard already knew his answer. And he hated himself for it.

Shepard did a quick scan of the engine room but Ash was still nowhere to be found. He nodded a passing hello to Adams as he made his way over to Tali's station.

The Quarian glanced up when she heard footsteps coming toward her. Without even being asked, Tali told him, "She's in there," indicating a nearby open hatch.

"Thank you, Tali," he said softly. Without further ado Shepard lowered himself through the hatch and into the cramped, dark inner compartment, closing the hatch behind him. Down here the walls were so cramped John couldn't actually stand up to his full height, nor could he walk forward normally.

Ashley stood at the far end, her back to him while she soldered a couple panels back together. The _Normandy_ had taken something of a beating from the base's anti air defense systems, but a quick diagnostic from Joker assured John that any damage was only structural and not life threatening.

"I want to be left alone right now," Ashley said without turning around. She sounded tired, harrowed.

"Are you sure that's what you really want?" John asked slowly.

He saw her shoulders tense upon hearing his voice. Ash carefully powered off the soldering torch and took her protective face mask off before setting them both aside. She slouched and gripped the waist high partition in front of her rather than turn around and face him.

"I'm sure I _especially_ don't want to talk to you," Ashley bit out. "I have things I need to attend to. Come back later if you want to talk so badly."

"Please don't shut me out, Ashley," John pleaded.

They were quiet for a long, tense moment. Ashley still chose not to turn around and face him directly. John could see she was tired but no less agitated, and he knew his presence wasn't helping matters. But what else could he do? Just leave her alone and let her stew in survivor's guilt and anger?

"I can't believe we _left_ him down there," Ash accused. "Kaidan shouldn't be dead right now. He was the superior officer. You should have left me behind."

"It wasn't your call to make," Shepard shot back. It broke his heart to hear Ash say such things, but it still royally ticked him off to listen to her questioning his orders. "And if we're going to start arguing semantics, then as a Captain, Kirahee was the superior officer. I would have saved your team anyways."

"Don't give me that bullshit."

"What _do_ you want from me, Ash?" It was too cramped in this compartment. Too effective at bottling up their combined anger and making him wallow in it. "How far are you going to push yourself, Ashley? Do you think making a martyr out of yourself will redeem your family's name?"

He knew it was a low blow but he couldn't stop himself. Ashley could be just so goddamn stubborn sometimes. He watched her shoulders slump with guilt. "That's not fair," she defended weakly.

John cooled his jets the slightest amount, not wanting to squander this opening. "What happened to your grandfather wasn't fair, Ash. What happened to your father _wasn't fair._ What happened to you for all these years hasn't been _fair._ But no amount of sacrifice will ever change that. You deserve more than an unfilled casket."

"And Kaidan didn't?" she asked rhetorically. Her voice was raw. "Believe me, I'm grateful to be alive, but I can't stop from hating myself for knowing Kaidan's dead because of us."

Shepard made a noncommittal noise, like he wanted to prove she was wrong, but the argument died in his throat. That was the reason Ashley's still here and Kaidan isn't, right? Because John became attached and he couldn't let go of her.

When his silence stretched on, Ash shook her head and said, "He warned me something like this might happen. Kaidan knew full well how relationships can fuck up the chain of command. And what did I do? I ignored him. I wanted to be with you and I didn't care about the consequences. And now Kaidan's dead because I was selfish. Kaidan, Mathews, and Lewiztky are all dead because we were selfish."

"That's not the reason they died!" John implored. "They were all marines, just like us, Ash. They evaluated the situation and knew there was no way they were coming out of it alive, so they decided to make their deaths mean something. To give the rest of us a chance to get away and complete the mission."

Ashley's only answer was a ragged sigh. John could see her nails digging into the metal partition, and her posture was slackened with burden.

"Kaidan activated the nuke because he wanted to protect you, Ashley," John continued. "He would have hated himself knowing he was alive while you were left behind, just like you are now. Kaidan and his team knew we had to save as many people as possible, and unfortunately than meant giving up their own lives for the greater good. And Kaidan knew I could never leave the woman I love behind to die. it's a shit situation, but we all made the very best out of it as we could."

Everything was silent for a few moments. He was so caught up in trying to help Ashley, John hadn't realized what he'd said until after he saw Ashley's back tense up. Very slowly, Ash backed away from her patch job and turned back around to face him. Her brow was furrowed and her dark eyes stared at John incredulously.

"What did you just say?" she asked quietly.

The air left his lungs. In all the times he'd imagined this moment going, John always pictured a romantic venue. Maybe a restaurant, or in a hotel room during shore leave, or hell, in his cabin after hours. It would have just been the two of them, without a care in the world, curled up in each other's arms, and John would just say it. He loved her.

Not like this though. Not in some dark, cold crawl space right after a harrowing mission where they'd just lost some of their closest friends.

But what else was there to it now? He couldn't take it back. John would be lying to himself more than Ash.

Steeling himself, John told her, "I said I love you."

Ashley reared back almost like she'd been struck, blinking several times, taken off guard by the confession.

Without waiting for her answer, John took a step toward her and kept going. "I'm in love you, Ashley Williams. I've been in love with you for a long time now, and I've been too scared to say it. But I'm not trying to hide from the way I feel about you. Not now, and not ever."

The silence was deafening as the weight of his confession settled over them both. Ashley still looked shell shocked, unable to come up with how to respond. John was breathing heavily; too shocked himself to follow up with anything else.

"Now?"

The question threw him for a loop. John's brow furrowed with confusion. "What do you-"

"You choose _now_ to say that?" she demanded angrily. Ashley stalked toward him, and he could see the irate expression on her face now that she was closer. "Our friends just died, we're no closer to stopping Saren than we were yesterday, and you choose _now_ to say that you love me?"

John sputtered, taken off guard by her hostility. "Ashley, I don't mean-"

"Get out."

"Ash, please, just let me-"

"I said get out!" which she punctuated with a hard shove to his chest. Ashley stared up at him with absolute fury in her dark brown eyes. "Leave! Don't stand here and say how much you love me like Kaidan's death doesn't bother you. Like nothing else matters so long as you have a clear conscience."

He didn't know what to do. John wasn't trying to imply he felt nothing for Kaidan's death; he was trying to tell Ashley how much he cared for her. But she quite obviously didn't see it the way he was trying to communicate it.

John's heart was close to its breaking point, and he knows Ashley has reached her wits end. If he were to stay and try to keep arguing with her, John couldn't see it ending well any more. One of them would say something they didn't truly mean and it would cut deeper than either of them intended. John has fought so hard to be with Ashley; he can't risk pushing her away for good.

Disappointed, wounded, and hollow inside, John let his head hang and he took a half step away from her. "Sorry," he muttered to her as turned around to go back up the small step ladder back to engineering.

Just before he opened the hatch back up, John paused and looked back down into the hold. Ashley was half turned away from him, hugging her midsection defensively and glaring at an unspecified spot on the wall.

"I meant what I said," John told her quietly. Ashley's expression hardened and she turned further away from him. Heedless, John went on, "I do love you. And I know I mess up sometimes. But how I feel about you… that won't ever change."

Without waiting for her answer, John opened the hatch and climbed out. He and Ashley would have to come back to this; fix their relationship once again. But right now, he was still Commander Shepard, and he had ship to run.

* * *

><p>It took all of five minutes after John left for Ashley to calm dawn and realize just how much of a glorified bitch she was.<p>

She was sitting in the lower compartment, her knees pulled up to her chest and her head resting on her knees. A Williams didn't cry, but that didn't mean Ashley still couldn't pine.

Why did he have to say it? Ash knew he hadn't meant to; how it had just slipped out. But there was no taking it back, so John had come right out and told Ashley: He loved her.

And what did Ash do? Yell at him. Berate him. Be angry with him because that was easier to deal with than being angry at herself. The look in his eyes when Ash rejected him… it was worse than the first time he told her about his nightmares.

Ashley hated herself. She was a second rate soldier, and because of that her best friend was now dead. And she was a second rate lover, and because of that she may have royally screwed up her chances to be with the only person she truly cared about in this messed up galaxy.

Gingerly, Ash reached into the hem of her shirt and pulled out the necklace he'd given her only a few days ago, for her birthday. The Moonstone shined in the dark compartment beneath engineering, blissfully unaware of Ashley's inner turmoil. She cradled it in her hands, staring at this symbol of love and devotion John had given her. She'd looked up the price later that night, when she was alone. Apparently to John Shepard, money was no great concern when it came to the people he cared for.

She pressed the cool gem to her forehead, trying to will some of its purity into her own psyche. Why did things always have to be so difficult for them? Why couldn't have Ash and John met like normal people do; have a relationship like the ones normal people have? Not one where the return of a millennia old race of doomsday machines was imminent and the lives of trillions were on the line?

The sound of the hatch opening startled Ashley out of her wallowing and she quickly stashed her necklace back underneath her shirt. She looked up to see familiar three-toed boots descending down the ladder. Tali closed the hatch after her before sitting down next to Ashley, mimicking her pose.

Tali didn't say anything immediately, so Ashley asked, "How much did everyone hear?"

"Well, the Quarian capable of turning up the audio recorders in her suit heard just about everything," Tali answered. "The rest of the human crew didn't hear much at all, but based on Shepard's posture when he came out, I can't imagine they'll find it too hard to make an educated guess."

Ash only let out a sigh of derision and let her head fall back on her knees. That was just great; rumors about their impending break up to add onto all the deaths the crew just faced.

She felt Tali nudge her shoulder, and Ash looked back up to see Tali staring at her with those bright eyes of hers. "So… I take it the L word is kind of a big deal with humans."

In spite of herself, Ash let out a chuckle. "Liara asked the exact same thing. And yeah, it kind of is. It's not something we just throw around outside of family."

"I see," Tali said slowly. "And… does that mean you don't love Shepard?"

Ashley dragged a hand down her face. "No, it doesn't, Tali. God, I think I've been in love with John Shepard for years and I was just too chicken shit to face up to it."

Tali canted her head with confusion. "Then how come…"

"I didn't say it back?" Ashley surmised. She shook her head. "I don't know, Tali. I'm just so… _angry_ right now. Angry at myself for how I screwed up my first real command. Angry at myself and John because we both knew how fraternization could affect the mission. Angry at John because he chose to save me instead of Kaidan."

"Well then you'd be the only one," Tali stated. Ash looked at her, taken off guard by her directness. The Quarian girl took a shuddering breath. "Everyone misses Kaidan, Ash, even me. He was one of the first people to open up to me besides you, Adams or Shepard. Kaidan was sweet and kind and caring. He was one of the few people I could actually call my friend."

Tali scooted closer and looped and arm around Ashley's shoulders, and Ash leaned into her embrace. "But no one is blaming you for Kaidan and his team's deaths except yourself, Ashley. You and Shepard seem to be the only ones determined to bear the guilt yourselves when there's no reason for it."

"You can't just say there isn't a reason," Ash argued. "Shepard chose to save me because of how he feels about me-"

"And by extension also saved all of the Salarian STG team," Tali added pointedly.

"I-" Ash cut herself off and took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Fine, I'll concede that. But what am I supposed to do, Tali? Just forget that Kaidan isn't here now because Shepard chose me over him?"

Tali was quiet for a few moments, likely thinking. Then without a word she brought up her Omni Tool and began searching for something. After a few seconds Ashley saw her activate an audio recording.

Ashley listened to her own digitized voice filter out of the Quarian's wrist. "'Then I don't know what you're apologizing for, Tali. I blame the deaths of my men on Saren and the Geth, not some Quarian girl we found dodging assassins. As far as I'm concerned, you and I are square, so you don't have to feel guilty over something you weren't part of.'"

That got Ash to deflate real hard. Tali closed down her Tool and turned back to Ash. "Do you remember when you told me that? How you convinced me not to worry over something I had no control over?"

"Yeah." Ash lightly kicked the wall across from them. "I said it right here in this hold, didn't I?" Tali nodded.

If she didn't loath herself before, Ash certainly did now. She'd helped Tali assuage her guilt over an outcome she had no part in, and now here Ash was wallowing about the same thing.

Ash groaned pitifully and buried her face in the Quarian's shoulder. "God, Tali, am I just a fucking idiot or is everyone around me so much goddamn smarter?"

"I'd definitely go with the latter," Tali answered. "You're not an idiot, Ashley, just a bit misguided sometimes. Plus, I like being called smart."

She snorted with humor and picked her head back up, leaning it against the bulkhead. So… maybe Ash was being a bit too hard on herself. And maybe she wasn't thinking about the whole situation rationally. Although she did act like a total bitch to John. There was no disproving that.

A three fingered glove clasped her knee and jostled it in a friendly manner. "Kaidan's death was not your fault," Tali told her seriously. "It's not Shepard's fault either. The only person to blame here is Saren. So the sooner we find the _bosh-tet _Turian…"

"…The sooner we get to shove a gun up his spiky ass and turn him into fine red paste," Ash finished.

"So poetic," Tali drawled.

Ash harrumphed slightly. She took a hold of the hand on her knee and clasped their hands together, turning to Tali. "Have I mentioned what a great friend you are?"

"Not recently, but you don't have to. You're one of my best friends too, Ash."

"Well I mean it. Before this mission, I never thought I'd ever be able to get along with an alien. But now you, Liara, Wrex, and Garrus are all some of the closest friends I've ever made." Ash leaned over to envelope the Quarian in a big hug, and Tali let out a small startled noise. "I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

Tali patted her shoulder lightly. "I think I speak for everyone else when I say you lift us up too, Ash." Gingerly, Tali placed her hands on Ash's shoulders and maneuvered herself out of the hug. "But right now, I don't think I'm the person you're supposed to be having a heart to heart with."

Ash sighed again and let herself fall back against the wall. "I know, but it's not that simple. John's probably still angry with me right now, and he's got some stuff to take care of before we reach the Citadel. We both need more time to cool down, and I can't go talk to him while he's busy." Tali gave Ash what she deduced to be the Quarian equivalent of a skeptical look, so she bumped their shoulders together. "I promise. The two of us will talk, and hopefully we'll be able to get back to a normal place in our relationship. As normal as we can get, anyway."

"I'd like that," Tali said with a nod. "The romantic in me has been rooting for you two since the beginning, so I'd become a very cynical person if it didn't work out."

"Hoping that our bond staying strong will bode well for your romantic endeavors?" Ashley asked, grinning.

Tali's eyes slyly shifted sideways. "Something like that, maybe."

Ashley laughed, without restraint now that she was in a better state of mind. She pushed herself off the ground and offered Tali a hand up, who accepted. "Ready to get back to work?"

"Definitely," Tali agreed. "Although, and don't take this the wrong way, Ashley, but engineering really isn't your strong suit. That is a horrible patch job."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: So a little while after posting Chapter 19, I sort of made the discovery that Thessia, the Asari home world, does not in fact have a moon. As such, calling a gem from Thessia a 'Moonstone' might not be entirely, anatomically, geologically, culturally accurate. However, your dear Author is too lazy to go back rename the necklace, so I'm going with the idea that the Thessian Moonstone is actually just a really bad translation from the original Asari dialect. Yay loopholes!<em>

_As always, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to Favorite, Follow, or Review this story. You rock!_


	21. Chapter 21 - Pep Talk

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Artistry

Chapter 21 – Pep Talk

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><p><em>Stupid… fucking… assholes…<em>

John Shepard kneeled before his locker, perpetually scowling at the blasted thing. For one reason or another, his collection of armor, guns, and mods chose _today _not to be cooperative.

_Idiots… ingrates… goddamn… bastards…_

His rifle wasn't standing up on the left side like it always would, and the recently added mods on his shotguns were forcing him to place the gun on the locker in a rather precarious position. He'd abandoned slowly and calmly trying to set things up long ago because of their inability to stay in place for long enough. Shepard knew just brute forcing everything likely wouldn't help, but at this moment he couldn't have given a fuck about rationale thought.

_Morons… cunts… charlatans… _

Shepard thought he knew politicians. Sure, they could be egotistic, shortsighted (or longsighted, in the case of Councilor Tevos), and downright delusional at times. There was a reason he avoided dealing with their types of people as much as he could.

But for all of the likely back door dealings and voter manipulation, the Citadel Council was still a democratically elected body of three. The only people allowed to be elevated to such a position of power surely had to be the most respected, influential, and competent people each of their species could possibly put forth for the candidacy.

And they actually proved Shepard wrong. The Council proved it didn't matter how much education and political savvy you had; it still didn't stop you from being a close-minded fool who ignored the evidence even when it was drenched in blood. Saren, the Reapers, Ilos, all of it was staring them in the face and the Council brushed it aside like a parent whose child told them there was a boogeyman under the bed.

They were all idiots and their cock-sureness would ensure uncountable numbers of people be killed. Tevos, Sparatus, Valern, Udina… _especially_ that two-timing snake Udina. Shepard wanted nothing more than to shoot the man's knees caps out and leave him to hungry varren. He knew the idea to lock down the _Normandy_ was Udina's idea. And not once did Shepard see him pull out his Omni Tool during the meeting to give the order. Udina had already decided to stab him in the back without even hearing Shepard's arguments.

Shepard was a man to whom hate came difficultly. He hates Cerberus for what they did to him and his unit. He hates Saren for all the atrocities the Turian has committed in the name of the Reapers. But that was it. Shepard has disliked numerous people, namely the ones who shoot at him. But he has never regarded them as more than an obstacle; an opposing force to be circumvented. Shepard never brought himself to hate every person who has either disagreed with him or pointed their weapon at him because there simply isn't enough time and energy for a single person to channel such large amounts of meaningless animosity.

But not like this. Udina has questioned his every move, declaimed his every decision, and used Shepard like a political toy whenever it seemed to serve his own ambitions. Udina wasn't a man who cared for the people he represented. He only cared for himself. His egotism, more than that of any of the Council members, was the reason the Reapers would win. Humankind was on the very brink of extinction, and its only hope was stuck in dry dock because of one man's selfish desires.

So yes, John Shepard found he could _very_ easily bring himself to hate Donnel Udina.

The pistol slid off its rack yet again as he tried to reposition his sniper rifle, and Shepard's blood boiled over at last. Rashly, he grabbed the pistol and threw it back into the locker. In the same motion, he grabbed his chest piece and shoved it in with all his might on top of the assault rifle and sniper rifle. Before even a split second had passed, Shepard slammed the door to his locker closed, heedless of the pressures trying to force its way back out. As soon as the seam locked back into place, something inside gave off a definitive sounding _SNAP_.

Shepard sighed and banged his head on the locker, already starting to realize his error as he calmed down again. He wanted to do something. Anything other than sit around and wait for Judgment Day. But as things stood, his ship was completely locked into place and he was on a station where his every movement was being recorded. Shepard had no way off of the Citadel, and even then he had no way of reaching Ilos in time. And since the Council persisted in only boosting their border patrols rather than chasing down Saren, they were all well and truly fucked.

"Rough day, huh?" asked a person behind him.

At the sound of her voice, his eyes shot open and he whirled around to face her. Ashley Williams stood over him, arms crossed under her chest. She looked… sympathetic more than anything else. They hadn't seen much of each other ever since their argument after Virmire. She didn't look angry with him anymore, but Shepard didn't want to consider himself in the clear just yet.

Shepard turned his body around and let himself fall back against his locker, looking back up at her with an arm leaning on his bent knee. "You heard?" he asked tiredly.

"Joker's been bitching ever since he got locked out of his flight controls," she told him. Ash leaned her hip against the adjacent locker. "The whole Citadel's heard by now."

He grunted in affirmation. "The Council grounded us. No one's going after Saren. Including the _Normandy_. The Council doesn't want to believe the Reapers actually exist."

Ash rolled her eyes and let out a long suffering sigh. "I hate being right."

Her laid back tone actually brought a chuckle out of him. "I wish I could say I was surprised, but I had a feeling the Council would leave us out to dry when we needed them most."

"I was surprised Udina actually bought into it, the snake," Ash said with a bit of scorn. "I guess he's just like any other politician. The Council's used to being the biggest kid on the playground. They don't want to believe Daddy's coming to pick them up." A pause. "And eat them, I guess."

Shepard felt himself smiling for what felt like the first time in days. Ashley had a funny way of doing that; taking a bad situation and putting a humorous spin on it.

Emboldened, Shepard told her, "No matter what the Council does or doesn't do, we can't just sit here. We're going to have to stop Saren and Sovereign by ourselves." Then his brief moment of bravado was quashed when he evaluated their reality again. "But right now, I don't know how we're even going to get off this station."

"There must be something we can do. Maybe we go through the Council; get President Huerta to back us up and bail us out. It's not like the Council has absolute control over an Alliance vessel. Whatever you come up with, you can count me in."

He looked back up at her, surprised by her assertiveness. "Well look who's being an optimist," he told Ash cheekily.

Ash gave him a coy smile back. "An optimist is what a pessimist calls a realist."

She paused for a moment, looking away as she thought. "Look, Skipper, I know I'm not the easiest person in world to get along with. I get that. So I'll do you a favor, just this once." Ash kneeled down next him and put a hand on his shoulder, an expression of such sincerity it actually surprised him. "I… want you to be happy. Whatever you need, I'll be there to either lend a hand or bail you out. Like always."

A well of emotions blossomed in his chest, and John lightly gripped the hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, Ashley," he told her quietly.

Smiling, Ash stood back up to her full height. "There, you made me say it. Boom goes my feminine mystique," she added wryly.

"I'll keep your secret safe, along with your singing," he teased.

"You'd better!" Ash said with a laugh.

For the first time in days, John didn't feel horrible. There wasn't a looming weight of darkness over his shoulder tainting his every interaction. Ashley was smiling again, and because of that he found he could smile again too.

Feeling reenergized, John made to get up, but saw Ashley's open hand extended in front of him. He gripped it and let her drag him up. However, the fast ascension joggled his mind and left Shepard a bit dizzy. Just enough to make him misstep and lose his balance. Before he could topple over, Ashley leaned in to catch his shoulder and keep him steady.

John gripped her arm to keep himself still, and the pair of them froze where they were. They stood there for a moment, unmoving, and John was struck once more by how beautiful Ashley was. Not dazzling beautiful like some Hollywood starlet. She wore a bare minimum of makeup, and John could admit she may not be the most objectively attractive woman he's ever met. But it was a simple yet refined beauty. Ashley never tried to make herself alluring, she simply… was.

His grip trailed down her arm, and the hand on his shoulder crept toward his chest. Ashley stared up at him, her dark brown eyes hooded with a latent desire he knows all too well. Heat crawls up the back of John's neck and they subconsciously moves closer to one another. His eyes drifted close and his head leaned in toward hers the same time Ashley was doing the same…

"Sorry to interrupt, commander, but I got a message for you from Anderson," Joker blared through the ship speakers.

With their lips a scant inch apart their eyes shot open and the two practically jumped away from each other. Ash regained her composure first, running a hand through her hair and directing a glare at the ceiling as if Joker could actually see it. Though embarrassed, John couldn't help but keep smiling. "Are you spying on us, Joker?" he asked in good humor.

"At this point I'm kind of insulted you have to ask," Joker told them with mock chagrin. "But Anderson contacted me, said he wanted him to meet you at Flux, that club in the upper Wards. He made it sound urgent."

"It sounds important. You'd better go," Ashley suggested. A regretful expression crossed her features, but it was gone as soon as he realized it was there.

"Right," he said neutrally, trying to keep his emotions in check. Ash always had a way of making him unravel, lay his emotions bare and cloud his thinking. One moment they were yelling at each other and the next they were making up. "Anderson might be able to help us out. I'll let you know how it goes."

John turned to leave, but before he could actually move a hand grabbed his wrist and secured him in place. "Wait!" Ash said desperately. John turned back around, and she was on him in an instant. A warm hand curled around the back of his neck and pulled his head down so Ash could lock their lips in a bruising kiss. John gripped her sides and pulled her closer, pushing back against her kiss with fervor.

Their tempo slowed and they pulled away from each other, quiet for a moment as they stared at each other. "Does… this mean you're not angry with me anymore?" John asked her meekly.

Ash sighed and rested her cheek on his chest. "I was angry with myself, but I took it out on you because I didn't know how to deal with it. And I'm sorry for that. I… Kaidan was my best friend, and his death left me hurting. But what I said to you wasn't right. I was acting like an idiot, and I'm sorry."

"You apologize too much," he soothed. John hugged her close and buried his face in her hair. "Like I said; I know I mess up sometimes. What I said to you before… should have been saved for another time, not right after losing Kaidan. You probably had every right to be angry with me. But it's enough just knowing you've forgiven me as well."

Ashley kissed his cheek. "I think we both spend too much time apologizing for stupid stuff," she told him with a smile. John hummed with agreement and leaned down to connect their lips once more.

"So are you two back together again?" Joker phoned in once more, ruining the moment.

"We never actually broke up, Joker," Ash told the pilot snidely. "But yes, we're doing fine."

"I swear you two have more ups and downs than couples you find in sappy rom coms."

"Thank you for your two cents, Joker," John cut in. "Please stop snooping now."

"Alright, fine, jeeze." This time the intercom gave a definitive click when Joker signed off.

John was quiet for a moment, giving Ash a hesitant look. "I know I caught you off guard, but I just want you to know-"

A pair of fingers on his lips silenced his words, and Ash's endearing look quelled his desire to keep talking. "Go," she ordered. "We'll have more time to talk on the way to Ilos. But you have to talk to Anderson right now." She gave him a small smile. "And how about I pick up your toys while you're away?"

He sent his locker a guilty glance. "That would be appreciated."

"It's a deal then. Just... try to avoid any politicians while you're out and about. In the state we're all in right now, I wouldn't blame you punching one out."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: A bit of a shorter chapter than usual, I realize. I just like this scene in-game so much that there wasn't much I wanted to change to it. Next chapter should be plenty long though.<em>

_Also, I went back to Chapter 20 and fixed a couple of errors, namely the Captain/Major Kirahee issue. I dun goofed :P_

_Thanks again to everyone who Follows, Favorites, or Reviews my story :)_


	22. Chapter 22 - Solemn Hour

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Chapter 22 – Solemn Hour

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><p><em>John Daniel Shepard, Alliance Lieutenant Commander and First Human Spectre, has reportedly defected from Council authorities and has stolen the Alliance vessel known as the SSV Normandy SR1…<em>

_First Saren Aterius, and now John Shepard: Is the Special Tactics and Recon division responsible for turning heroes into mad men?..._

_Mentally unhinged Spectre speaking of doomsday prophecies steals advanced Alliance warship and flees Citadel…_

The accounts of their defection varied widely from article to article, but it was still easy to get the gist of things. John Shepard, along with all of his crew and David Anderson, were now considered traitors.

Not like John could blame them. Anderson did knock out Udina and illegally override his control to allow John and his crew to escape the Citadel with the one of a kind, highly advanced stealth ship. If by some miracle the Reapers were really a hoax created by Saren, then John would have a lot to answer to once he was back in either Alliance or Citadel custody.

He knew they were taking the right course of action, but John couldn't shake the feeling of bitter regret in his gut. John Shepard has always striven to be an upstanding citizen, who follows his superior's orders, and works for the betterment of all those around him. Now he was an outlaw in the eyes of pretty much every government in the galaxy, even the Alliance.

But what they were doing… If they could stop Saren and prevent the return of the Reapers, if even for a little while, then John was willing to let his name go down in infamy. Being labeled a turn coat would be worth it for all the lives they'd save.

Then again, John had no idea if they even stood a chance. Saren already had a sizable lead on them, giving him time to set up his legion of Geth on Ilos in defensive positions. Saren could feasibly reach the Conduit before they could get to him. John doesn't know what will happen if Saren activates the Conduit, nor does he know what they'll do when he does.

He rubbed his hands down his face, suppressing a groan. So many questions, so many possible outcomes, so little time to plan for them all. John had secluded himself in his room until they reached Ilos. Working over the ship and pestering every one of his crew would only leave him feeling drained. John needed to be rested for when they dropped down on Ilos. He needed to have his mind clear, free of all the doubt and guilt and apprehension. The crew of the _Normandy_ were looking to him to lead them through the storm. John didn't know if he actually could, but he'd be damned if he didn't at least try with everything he could give.

The sound of his cabin door opening cut through his thoughts, but John made no move to get up. He'd already set his door to bar anyone from entering for the trip to Ilos, save for one person. He listened to her pad through the dark cabin, a small smile forming on his face, illuminated by the blue light of his terminal. A pair of strong arms circled around his shoulders and chest, and he felt her rest her cheek against the top of his head.

"Whatcha' readin'?" Ashley asked lightly.

John leaned back into her, relishing her warmth and how the scent of her lilac shampoo soothed his burdened mind. "You know, the usual. There's some crazy guy on the Citadel who stole an Alliance war ship. They say he keeps going on and on about Reapers and how the end is nigh."

Ashley hummed thoughtfully, the sound reverberating through his body. "He must have had a really good reason to go through so much trouble," she pondered.

"I bet it was a woman," he jested, and Ashley chuckled against him. "I've only ever seen men act that crazy when they have a beautiful gal who sets their loins ablaze."

John tried to match her light tone, but the gravity of the situation they were in refused to let him go. He couldn't stop from feeling trepidation, both from his recent actions and the events that would unfold in the next few hours.

Ash planted a soft kiss on his cheek and leaned toward his ear. "Come to bed, Skipper," she whispered. The warm arms retreated, and he turned to watch her walk to his bed, an extra sashay to her hips he knew she put there on purpose. She shucked off her boots and laid down on his bed, her arms open in invitation. With a grin and a shake of his head, John powered down his terminal and went to join her after taking his own shoes off.

When he was situated, Ash curled up against him and laid her head on his shoulder, giving him one of those doleful smiles that made is heart ache. "Don't you think we're a little past titles?" John asked her, a bit gloomier than he'd been intending.

"We had to do it, John," Ash told him earnestly. "You know that. There was no other way. Besides, you'll always be the Skipper to me. Oh Captain, My Captain."

"Whitman, at a time like this?" he asked her playfully.

"No better time, I would think," she countered. "We're mutineers! Sailing into the most hostile system in the galaxy. Just call us humanity's best and brightest, I guess."

"I keep trying to remind myself we're doing the right thing." John sighed and pulled them closer together. "I don't exactly believe me yet, though."

"Believe in me then?" she asked. "Believe me when I say we'll get through this? That you'll succeed and stop the Reapers?"

John leaned in to give her a soft kiss. "Well, when you say it, it doesn't sound so irrational anymore."

Ash seemed to think of something and shifted herself over him, moving to straddle his waist. She locked their hands together and gave John a serious look.

Slowly, she recited:

_Death closes all:_

_But something ere the end,_

_Some work of noble note,_

_May yet be done,_

_Not unbecoming of men that strove with gods._

"Ulysses," John breathed with a smile, and Ashley smiled back down at him.

"We'll get home again, John. I believe… I know you'll lead us through. Oh Captain, _My Captain._"

John picked himself up and curled his arms around her waist. "Is my rank all you see when you look at me, Williams?" he smirked.

"No," she answered sincerely. "I see a strong, passionate man. One who's earned the respect of his crew and friends. Who knows when to admit he's wrong but never backs down when he knows he's right." Ash grinned and not so subtly reached down to give his backside a firm squeeze, making him jump slightly. "And he happens to have a great ass."

"You know there are a lot of regs against something like this," he teased. "Even if we are mutineers. You sure you're ready to handle the consequences?"

Ashley was quiet for a moment, pondering his question. "John, you know more than most I've spent my whole life fighting to get what I want. To get it done… I had to bury a lot of things. A lot of things I thought made myself weak. During that whole time, not even once did I ever feel like I was actually worth what I was fighting for." She leaned in and pressed their lips together, kissing John hard.

"You make me feel good enough," she whispered.

"Ashley, I…" John floundered for the right words. "Sometimes, everyone looks to me like I'm some kind of hero. Like I'm the only person capable of saving everyone. And I can't help but feel as though I'm an imposter. Like I'm a fool in costume, trying his best not to fuck up everything he's trying to save." He caressed her cheek, and Ashley leaned into his touch while she listened. "But then I see you, and I see the look in your eyes when you stare back at me. I see that unquestionable faith, the undeniable devotion, and your staggering passion. And when I see you, I know you believe in me, one hundred percent."

Jon gave her a searing kiss. "You make me feel good enough too," he whispered back.

"Just a couple of defunct engineers?" she remarked.

"None better," he agreed. Ash curled her arms around his neck, and her lips were back on his again. Her tongue sought entrance, and John willingly parted his lips so they could explore each other's mouths. He moved one hand to her upper back to keep her steady against him while he cupped her firm ass with the other hand, eliciting a moan from Ash that John drank in. He rolled their tongues together, yearning for her taste and touch.

They pulled back for air, and John looked at her through lidded eyes. "Bunk here tonight, Ash, with me," he quietly pleaded.

"Is that an order, sir?" she asked flirtatiously.

"You know I'll damn well make it one," he growled before he was on her again.

* * *

><p>An incessant beeping invaded his dreamless sleep and John's eyes fluttered open. He glanced around, getting his bearings back, and John found himself in his bed with Ashley under the covers next to him, groaning as she too was robbed of her sleep. The source of the beeping was found to be coming from the alarm clock on his side table, and John mercifully clicked it off. The timer indicated they were less than half an hour away from Ilos.<p>

John settled back onto the bed, unwilling to get up for a few minutes more. Ashley's hand lazily drifted across his waist and she pulled them closer together. "Well then, that's a whole new spin for 'four on the floor and give me twenty,' hmm?" she asked with an airy laugh.

John chuckled and looped his arms around her. "You're incorrigible."

They shared a slow, sensuous kiss, and Ashley told him, "You know you love it."

"I wouldn't take you any other way," John agreed. He sighed and pulled her close, massaging her bare back as she closed her eyes once more and rested her head on his chest.

The two of them didn't move for several minutes, basking in the serenity of the moment. John wanted to stay here forever. The woman he not-so-secretly loved was wrapped up in his arms, in a place where they were safe, and none of the galaxy's other worries could possibly reach them in here.

And the thought terrified him. John never wanted this moment to end because he knew what was to come afterward. Ilos promised to be the most harrowing mission of his life, even more so than Akuze. If Saren were to succeed, and the Reapers made their terrible return… there was a very real possibility John and Ash would never again be able to have a quiet, peaceful moment like this. Hell, there was a chance they'd never even see each other again once he left for Ilos, and the thought made his chest tighten with dread.

"What's wrong?" Ashley asked, picking herself up and leaning in her arm to look at him better. Ashley gazed at him with those soulful, keen eyes of hers. They were always so perceptive of each other's emotions, and John was never afraid of how she could see right through him.

He trailed a hand down her arm, contemplative. "Ash, you're not mad with me, are you?"

She gave him a queer look. "Just a few hours ago we had sex, and then we spent the night together. In my experience you don't really do those things with someone if you're mad at them."

"I understand that. But surely you must have seen the announcement I sent out to the ground team. The one detailing who I'd be taking with me down to Ilos."

"Oh, right. That." Ash sighed and laid her back down on her pillow. "I was a little peeved, sure, but I understand your reasoning."

Her voice took on a clinical monotone as she continued talking. "Ideally all five of us would go down with you; the more guns, the better. But once you get Wrex in the Mako, you'll barely be able to fit in three other people. And you need him for his sheer bullet sponge-y ness. Wrex's biotics are good but not really substantial on their own, so you need Liara to help him set up combos. Because you're going up against a hell of a lot of Geth you'll need a tech expert, so normally the go to choice would be Tali. But the chances of the _Normandy_ getting into a dogfight with Geth or Reaper ships is a real possibility, and everyone knows Tali's best suited to be in the engine room when that happens. That leaves Garrus to fill the tech void, plus he can provide serious long range support.

"I'm narcissistic enough to know I'm one of the best soldiers in the Alliance, but I'm still humble enough to admit you're a better soldier than me on the battlefield," she confessed. "Besides, my skills would be pretty redundant since you're already going to be there."

"If we could both be on the field down there, you know I'd do it," John told her earnestly. "I'm not leaving you behind because I think you'd be a liability."

"I know you don't think that," Ash replied with a small smile. She kissed his chest and said, "What I want more than anything is to keep you safe. And I know I can trust Liara, Garrus, and Wrex to watch your back for me. Although I may have threatened to bring down some righteous justice on Garrus and Wrex if they let anything happen to your pretty face."

The jest brought a chuckle out of him, and John told her, "Thank you for understanding. After everything that's happened… I didn't want to leave with you thinking I didn't appreciate you." He leaned in to give her a quick kiss, an affirmation of their union. "Besides, don't think you're being left off the hook by not coming. I still need someone to be in charge of the marines while I'm gone."

Ashley's brow furrowed with confusion. "I can't be in charge of the marine detail. After Kaidan, Second Lieutenant Crosby is the officer with the most seniority-"

"-And he fully agreed with me that you'd be much better suited to lead the marines," John cut in. "The men respect you; they'll follow your lead no matter what happens. And with Pressly in charge of the main bridge in my absence, I can leave knowing I've left my ship in the best possible hands there are." In return for his kind words, John received one of those dazzling smiles he loves so much.

Ash looked like she wanted to reply with something, but just then the intercom flared to life and Joker phoned in. "Bridge to Commander Shepard: We're five minutes out from the Mu Relay." John gave him a word of thanks and the pilot signed off, giving them privacy once more.

"Well, duty calls," Ash said with good humor. "You should get up to the bridge, Skipper. I've got… _other_ big guns to check out before you hit Ilos."

"Yes ma'am." John waited long to share one more brief kiss with her before they both got out of bed. It took them a few minutes to gather up their clothes and make themselves presentable again. John knew he wouldn't have time for a shower, so he settled with applying a generous amount of deodorant to cover up the smell of sex still lingering on him.

He was ready to go first, with Ash still sitting on the bed tying her boots up. The pair of them shared a look for a moment, knowing this could be the last time they'd see other. John wished there was more he could say, but Ashley knew what she meant to him, and he knew what he meant to Ash. There was nothing left to do but get the mission done, and hopefully return to each other.

Ash gazed up at him with uncertainty. "Hey John? Whatever happens down there, I just wanted to say that I…" But then she trailed off, and Ash's features lit up as an idea popped into her head. "You know what? I'm not telling you. If you want to hear this, you'll just have to come back to me."

With a grin, John sauntered back over to the bed and pulled Ashley up, keeping their hands held together. "Is that a promise, Miss Williams?"

"You know I'll damn well make it one," she whispered with heat.

John cupped her cheek and gave her one last, long, enduring kiss. "Then that's all the motivation I'll need to come back."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: I remember promising last chapter that this one would be on the lengthier side, although it didn't really pan out the way I thought it would. Originally I had been planning to write an extensive love scene like the one in Chapter 13. However, I didn't feel writing it would have been entirely appropriate, given what I want to say next.<em>

_As I'm sure most of you have heard by now, at the time of my writing this the country of Nepal suffered an extremely severe earthquake just a few days ago. Around the same time, the seismic activity caused the Himalayas to have a series of avalanches. Casualty reports are still forthcoming, and all the damage done looks to be irreparable in the near future. _

_All I'm asking is for all of my readers to take a moment of silence to send your prayers out to those who have been left homeless, missing, or deceased by this terrible tragedy. If you or someone you know was caught out in Nepal or the Himalayas during the past few days, please know that my heart goes out to you and your loved ones, and that I hope for the best regarding your situation. If you're reading this, I hope my little story put a smile on your face during this bleak period._

_I wish everyone the best moving forward. If you are not in a position to aid the survivors in Nepal with donations, like me, then please try to raise awareness to all those around you. This should be a time when people come together to aid the suffering and fix what is broken._

_May God bless you all, and I hope you have a better day today than you did yesterday._


	23. Chapter 23 - Hope from Ruin

Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Arts

Chapter 23 – Hope from Ruin

* * *

><p>The elevator was silent as they ascended, her men tense but ready for whatever they may find. Ashley flexed her hands around her rifle, willing herself to remain calm and collected in front of the marines she was tasked with leading in Shepard's absence. To herself, Ashley was an uncontrollable ball of nerves and she cursed how slow Citadel elevators were, wishing they could get to the Council chambers faster.<p>

The Battle of the Citadel, as it was now being called hours later, had to be one of the most haptic space battles she ever heard of. The Citadel fleets had been absolutely decimated by the Geth's surprise attack, just like they'd feared. What forces which weren't being pummeled by the Geth were destroyed by Sovereign. Ashley had already known the Reaper ship would be a force to contend with, but she hadn't been expecting the raw level of destruction it could cause. Almost the entirety of the Fifth Fleet went up against the monster, and Sovereign had taken out eight cruisers before it was brought down. Ashley dreaded what kind of damage an entire fleet of Reapers could inflict.

From the initial drop onto Ilos, to reaching the Conduit, to traveling to the Citadel, Ashley remained on the bridge, listening to the ground team's progress whenever comms allowed. Ash was at least there in spirit when Shepard met Vigil, discovered the true nature of the Conduit, and eventually took down Saren Arterius once and for all.

The _Normandy_ had been abuzz with jubilation when both Saren and Sovereign fell. However, the celebration was cut short when Garrus yelled something about one of Sovereign's legs colliding with the Citadel Tower. Ashley listened with absolute fear to Shepard yelling at the ground team to move before the connection was cut completely. Her dread only increased every time they tried to hail the ground team but were only met with static.

That was over seven hours ago. When she couldn't stand idle any longer, Ashley and a few of the other marines demanded they go ahead to lead a search party. Pressly initially barred her and the other marines from doing anything until there was more information to go on. Then Anderson had started broadcasting on still functioning C-Sec channels, requesting assistance from any and all Alliance personnel who could respond, and Ash and her men jumped at the chance.

Ashley rode upward in the elevator, flanked by Captain Anderson and Tali Zorah, who had insisted upon coming along as well. Joining them were several of Ashley's marines and more than a few C-Sec personnel. In the second elevator ascending with them were more marines and C-Sec officers. Ash heard the Citadel police force had taken a serious hit to their numbers because of the Geth. She was grateful they could spare at least so many men to help look for the commander and his team.

At long last the elevator finally slowed to a stop when they reached the Council Chambers. Ashley, Second Lieutenant Crosby, and Tali took up firing positions before Ash manually triggered the door opened. They moved out quickly, rifles and shotgun raised, surveying the chambers for any hostiles left. Across the way more of Ash's marines spread out from the second elevator much the same way, on the alert as well. Everyone waited for a moment, and when enemies weren't forthcoming, Ashley signaled for everyone else to start moving up. Anderson spoke into his comm. piece as he followed; informing the medical teams standing by it was safe to come up.

Ash mentally cursed when she saw the state of the Council Chambers. The far wall was completely smashed open, revealing the backdrop of black space and another of the Citadel's arms, smoking profusely. But they still had power, so the atmospheric barrier was active and they could breathe easy.

Everything else was a mess. The piece of Sovereign that collided with the Tower lay before them, making it nigh impossible to move forward on the right side of the room. There was rubble everywhere, from jagged remains of collapsed walls to sparking electrical panels torn from the ceiling. The grass enclosures were almost entirely burning, and the busted fountain spouted water off in odd directions like a paltry semblance of rain.

"You're sure the commander and the others are still in here?" she heard Anderson ask, his voice quiet.

"I'm sure," Tali answered. She tried to sound confident but Ash could still here the waver in her voice. "I tracked their Omni Tool signals to here, but I can't pinpoint their position exactly because of the rubble and faulty tech in here."

"Then we start digging," Ash surmised. She gestured to her marines and started making hand signals. "Crosby, I want you and your team to start canvassing the wreckage here and on the second level. Start clearing rubble and making sure nothing will start to come toppling down on top of us. Robinson, take your team directly up to the third level and do the same. Officer Bailey, I want you and your men to start scanning the rubble. Try to find any signs of life or at least help my men clear the wreckage so we can work faster. Everyone be careful! We don't know what kind of damage Sovereign caused up here, so tread lightly and be ready to bug out."

Everyone let out a chorus of 'Aye aye's and jumped to their assigned tasks. Ash grabbed Tali's arm and said, "Get to work on triangulating their signal. See if you can make it come in stronger." The Quarian nodded and ran off to boot up a nearby Avina terminal that still had power. Before she went to join her men, Ash briefly met Anderson's gaze while he waited for the medical team. There was something strange in the look he gave her, sort of how Shepard looked at her sometimes. However, Ash didn't have the time to worry over it, and she went off to help the search.

The work was slow going. They didn't have any heavy duty equipment to clear out rubble, and they had to spend more time making sure whole piles of wreckage didn't come crashing down around them than actually searching through them. Ash tried to keep as much distance between her men and the Reaper leg as possible while they worked. It may be dead, but Indoctrination was a strange, Lovecraftian manifestation, so Ash had every right to be wary.

She was on the second level about to help move a fallen support girder when Bailey caught her attention. "What have you got?" she asked.

"I was talking with your Quarian friend, and we both agree Shepard's team isn't down here," he answered gruffly. "The readings my boys have been getting aren't finding anything more than Geth scrap. Even if Shepard and his team were dead, we'd have found the tech in their suits by now. That means if they're here, they have to be on the third level."

Ash ignored the comment about her friends and lover possibly being dead. To everyone in ear shot she called out, "You heard Bailey! Start moving toward the third level. Search in a grid pattern and keep your eyes and ears open. The longer we take, the less time they have to keep holding on."

As Ash starting picking her way up the stairs along with everyone else, Tali fell into step alongside her, still fiddling with her Tool as she watched her footing. "Ash… we are going to find them, aren't we?"

"I know we will," Ash replied with a conviction she was still trying to fully believe in herself. The more rubble they cleared, the more damage they found, the more her anxiety levels rose. Ash was still doing her best to remain optimistic, but she wasn't sure how long she could keep it up. "The reason we're even standing here is because Shepard and the others saved our asses. The least we can do is save theirs."

Tali nodded warily, probably trying to keep herself psyched up the same way Ash was. "Alright, I'm getting some strong readings up ahead. Somewhere off to the right."

They crested around the Reaper leg, and Ashley saw what Tali was probably referring to. Off to the right side of the Council Chambers was a massive cross work of fallen ceiling beams and chunks of wall, scattered with the same care a toddler would apply to Linkin-Logs.

"You really think they could have survived something like _that_?" Ash heard a Turian C-sec officer ask.

"The Skipper can survive anything!" Robinson shot back. He paused a moment to help push aside a boulder and send it tumbling to the floor. "And Wrex is way too goddamn stubborn to die. They're alive; I know it."

"Report, Robinson?" Ashley asked when she came up on the pseudo-mountain. Marines and C-Sec officers scoured all over it, trying to find gaps to clear away without compromising the whole structure.

"It's all a giant cluster fuck, ma'am," the corporal answered. "We can get the scraps on the surface, but we can't move anything without turning the whole thing into a giant game of Jenga. Not without heavy equipment. If Shepard and the others are in there, we won't be reaching them anytime soon."

Ash cupped her chin in thought. "Maybe we can work from the top, down. Hook up a simple pulley system to start clearing away-"

"Over here!" someone shouted. Ash snapped her head around to see a Salarian C-Sec officer clawing away some debris at the base of the pile on the far side. "I've got survivors here!"

Her heart leapt into her throat and Ash scrambled over to the C-Sec officer's position, followed closely by Robinson and a few of the other marines. The Salarian moved out of the way to let Ash peek through a small hole he had created. She powered up the flashlight on her Tool and shined it in, the circle of light falling on a suit of red armor.

"Wrex!" Ash called. "Wrex, can you hear me!?"

"What the hell took you so long?" a gravelly voice muttered back. Ash and the others around her let out a chorus of relieved sighs.

"Liara and I are here too, Ash," she heard Garrus' dual tone voice call out. "We could really use a way out, though. Not exactly comforting sitting under hundreds of tons of steel and rebar."

"We're working on it," Ash placated. She ordered the marines to start moving upward and see what they could remove without sacrificing structural integrity. "We need you guys to stay still for now. There's no telling when this whole thing could come crashing down."

"Krogan do not fare well in tight spaces, Williams," Wrex cautioned.

"Go and get the car jacks," Ash ordered to a couple of the C-Sec officers. Chain of command was in turmoil after the attack, supply lines equally so, and C-Sec had reverted to appropriating whatever local businesses were willing to loan them.

Ash inspected the rubble immediately near the hole that had already been dug out. She spied a boulder leaning against a girder, but it didn't appear to be holding up much weight at all. "Tali, see if you can give me a hand with this." The Quarian joined her, and together they braced themselves against the mountain and pushed against the slab of concrete. It took no small amount of effort, but after a moment the boulder finally began to budge before popping out of place and tumbling to the ground.

They were rewarded with a fresh hole in the side of the rubble, just wide enough for a thin person to squeeze through. On the other side Ashley could see Garrus, Liara, and Wrex huddled together, looking beaten and bloody but no less relieved to see the cavalry.

Their smiles were short lived, however. A moment later the mountain of rubble let out an ominous sounding rumble and small bits of rock started raining down around them. "Everyone clear out!" Ash yelled, so her men and the C-Sec personnel immediately began scrambling off the rubble before they were taken down with it. Several girders within the mass started to groan with protest as they succumbed to gravity.

"Hurry up with those car jacks!" Ash ordered from her spot next to the hole, unwilling to leave her friends. If they were lucky, at this point they'd maybe have enough time to get Liara out before the whole thing came crumbling down around them. But Ash could never leave Garrus and Wrex behind to die.

"To hell with this," she heard Wrex growl. Ash looked back into the hole to see Wrex moving around and positioning himself. Wrex got down on one knee whilst applying his hump and palms upon the ceiling, like the titan Atlas holding up the celestial spheres on his shoulders. With a great bellow, Wrex pushed upward steadily, forcing their low ceiling to lift. The rubble around them continued to fall out of place and tumble away as Wrex further pushed them past their breaking points.

But his gambit paid off. As the mountain lost integrity, the pieces of debris around the hole Ash and Tali had previously created started to loosen as well. Acting quickly, Ash and Tali clawed away at bricks and chunks of cement, widening the passage until a normal sized person could fit through.

At long last a couple of C-Sec officers finally arrived with a pair of car jacks. They were placed at either side of the opening, supporting a beam which hung over the now larger hole. The mountain of wreckage they stood upon threatened to tumble any second, but at least their friends' means of escape would be stable for the moment.

First to be urged through was Liara, who required both Garrus' and Tali's aid as she stumbled drunkenly through the passage. Next Ashley reached in and unashamedly grabbed Garrus by his collar to yank him out and pass him off to a couple of the marines.

"Lookout!" someone yelled. Ash barely had time to glance up and see a girder snap free from the ceiling and come falling down. Everyone even remotely in its path jumped aside, clearing out of its way before the girder smashed into the side of the mountain of rubble. It landed left of the hole they'd made, scattering bits of debris through the air with the collision. The mountain groaned and shifted dangerously as the girder slid down the side, destabilizing several of the load bearing pieces at the bottom.

Ash barely waited for the dust to settle before she scrambled back to the opening they'd made. The beam which had previously lain above the hole was now sitting diagonally over the opening. It had caused the car jack on the right to snap in half once it couldn't take the pressure anymore. The car jack on the left was still in place, but Ash could see it was starting to warp from tons of debris weighing down on it. Wrex had mere seconds until the whole thing came crashing down on him.

"Get the hell out of there, Wrex!"

"Fuck this!" she heard the Krogan yell back. Wrex let out a mighty roar, and Ash realized what he was doing just in time to jump out of the way. Wrex came barreling out of the opening, ramming the beam in his way and sending it flying. The Krogan himself came tumbling out as well, winded from head butting a solid piece of steel. There was even a dent in his head plate from where it collided.

Acting quickly, Ashley scuttled to his side and looped one of his arms around her shoulders to support him. She lifted Wrex out of the space they'd been camped out in, mere moments before the thing caved in, and together they hurried away from the mountain before it came toppling down around them. The group of marines and C-Sec officers gave the whole thing a wide berth as it collapsed to the ground. After a few moments the internal network of concrete slabs and fallen girders reach some sort of equilibrium, and the whole pile settled down once more.

Ashley coughed into her hand to try and not breathe in any of the dust displaced into the air because of the avalanche. "Everyone all right?" she called out. Her marines and the C-Sec officers all answered back with reassurances of their health and safety.

She helped Wrex hobble over to the far wall and sat him down. To her surprise, the Krogan was actually laughing hysterically. Then he was bent double as a coughing fit wracked his body, but then he was back to laughing loudly again. "Joining you humans on this little adventure of yours was one of the best ideas I've had in centuries."

"I certainly wouldn't call it 'little' but I'm still glad as hell you tagged along, Wrex," Ash said with a relieved smile. She stepped back to let the medical team attend to Wrex, same as they were doing to Garrus and Liara already. Ash crossed over to Garrus' side, though she kept her gaze on Liara. The Asari kept nodding in and out, requiring the aid of her medical attendant to keep her awake.

"Is Liara okay?" she asked Garrus as she kneeled down next to where he sat.

"She pushed her biotics to the limit. And then she kept pushing." Garrus batted away an annoyingly persistent nurse from grabbing his visor off his head. "Liara created some kind of biotic bubble to keep the ceiling from falling down on top of us. The moment we were safe, relatively speaking, she passed out and didn't wake up for several hours."

"You all look pretty beat up, even Wrex. How are you feeling?"

Garrus shrugged tiredly as the nurse began to wrap his left arm in a sling. "From this day forward I will always remember my training in basic to be a cake walk compared to what we went through getting here. But in retrospect we could have gotten off a lot worse. We're not dead, so there's that." Garrus shifted himself into a more comfortable position. "How's Shepard doing? He must have gotten pretty banged up too."

"He wasn't with you?" Ashley asked, unable to keep the bit of panic from her voice. "We haven't found him. I thought you would know…"

"You haven't found him yet?" Garrus shook his head and sighed. "Shit, Ash. We got separated when Sovereign's leg collided with the tower. I haven't seen him since the ceiling came crashing down around us. Wrex, Liara and I only wound up together out of sheer dumb luck."

Ash stood back up and gazed out over the disaster zone which had become of the Council Chambers. John could have been anywhere in the wreckage. He could even still be somewhere in the rubble that just collapsed… or maybe he'd been flatted under Sovereign's leg...

_No!_ Ashley berated herself. _I am not going to let John die here. Not now, not after everything we've been through._

"Where was the last place you saw him?" she asked Garrus.

"I don't know, Ash, somewhere beyond the wall of bent steel and former architecture?" She turned back to him with a stern glare, and Garrus cast his gaze away with shame. "We were down in the garden below the Chamber. Saren just sort of exploded after he died, sending us flying in odd directions. Liara, Wrex and I landed by the near wall, and Shepard ended up by the far wall, underneath where the Council stands. I think Shepard managed to climb out on his end, but after that I just don't know."

The podium where the Council normally stood wasn't doing too well, from what Ashley could see. It too was now covered in a small mountain of debris and rubble. A few of her marines were just starting to scour it, but Ash could see reticence in their movements. Obviously that pile was far less stable than the others.

Leaving Garrus for the medical personnel to attend to, Ashley carefully picked her way over to it. "What have we got over here?" she asked Lieutenant Crosby as she came up.

The lieutenant was shaking his head. "Lustrums said she thought she heard something from over here. I'm not saying Lustrums is going crazy, but if someone was actually moving around in there, the whole thing would have come toppling down already."

"I know what I heard," the corporal called over her shoulder crossly.

"Have the C-Sec officers picked up any life signs?" Ashley asked.

"They're still working their way up to us," Crosby told her. "But our Tools are picking up some weird static. I can't be certain, but maybe-"

"Hey watch it!" the third marine yelled. Ash and Crosby looked over to see Lustrums scrambling around the side of the hill of rubble just as it started to give way, kicking up a small cloud of dust as it collapsed somewhat. Ash and her marines backed away a few steps just to be safe, but it took mere seconds for everything to settle down again. The whole set-up hadn't shifted nearly as spectacularly as the other avalanche from before.

"Lustrums!" Ash called out after a moment once everything was quiet again. "Are you alright?"

There wasn't any immediate answer from the corporal, and for a second Ashley feared the worst. Then a moment later the air was filled with Lustrums' maniacal laughter, so obviously she wasn't in any real danger.

"Yeah!" Lustrums yelled back from out of sight. "Yeah, we're both a-okay!"

_We?_ Without even thinking Ash began moving toward where Lustrums had disappeared. Two figures rounded the corner, and Ashley's breath caught in her throat.

It was obvious he was favoring his left leg, seeing as how Lustrums had to support him in his right side. He was flat out missing pieces of his armor, and what was still there looked chewed up all to hell, both from bullets and from being buried under rocks. The visor on his helmet was near completely shattered, revealing his bruised and bloodied face.

But the moment she caught his deep blue eyes, John Shepard gave her a smile full of as much life as possible, and Ash knew everything was going to be alright.

Ashley rushed to his side, a huge smile on her face while she fought off the watering in her eyes. She helped support Shepard on his left side, and together she and Lustrums helped the commander hobble back to a safer area. By now the rest of those in the Council Chamber had caught on that Shepard had been found. Already Anderson and a few medical personnel were rushing over to see to the commander. The marines let out a round of cheers to seeing their CO safe and sound. Next to her, Ashley could hear Shepard laughing quietly, and she knew there was a relieved smile beneath his helmet.

The nurses ushered him onto a stretcher, and Anderson was by his side in an instant, patting the Commander's shoulder fondly. "You did good, son. Real good." To the medical personnel, Anderson ordered, "Get the Commander and his team to Huerta Memorial Hospital, ASAP. Myself, C-Sec, and the marines will stay here to continue canvassing the area, see what else we can find."

Anderson turned to her next. "Gunnery Chief Williams, go with them as their escort, just in case." Ashley caught the knowing wink he gave her, and she resisted the urge to thank him profusely. Instead, Ash merely saluted and followed along as Shepard and the team were led back toward the elevator. Garrus and Liara had also been relegated to being transported on stretchers, although Wrex was still enough of his indignant self to insist upon walking without aid, even if he was just a tad bit wobbly on his feet.

On the elevator ride down, Ashley stood as close to Shepard as she dared without getting in the way of the nurses as they tended to him. An Asari nurse very carefully pulled his helmet off so she could begin cleaning the wounds on his head. Shepard had a large gash above his left eye, streaming bright red blood down the side of his face, and there were dark purple bruises running down the right side of his neck.

But in spite of everything, Ashley was overjoyed to see him like this. Wounded meant not dead. Trouble walking by himself meant not crippled. Not coughing up blood meant no serious internal damage. All of which meant Shepard, her John, was alive, and he'd get better. And Ash couldn't have been any happier. John was going to be okay. They were both going to be okay.

She laced their gloved hands together, and John glanced up at her with dazed eyes and a lazy smile as the nurse cleaned his cut. "Hey you," she offered.

"Hey you," he whispered back. He inhaled sharply when the nurses pressed the damp cloth a little too firmly into his cut. The Asari muttered an apology and retreated for a moment to find some gauze for his head. John breathed deeply, trying to keep himself awake. "So… we won?"

Ashley laughed only slightly as she petted his hair reassuringly. "Yeah, we won." Of course, they both knew this wouldn't be the end of the Reapers. If anything their returned had only been delayed. It might take months, years, or even decades, but one day the Reapers would come. But that just meant all the more time they could prepare. So they were taking today as a victory, for what good it would hopefully do in the end.

John's smile widened and he squeezed her hand. "And we both made it through. So what was it?"

"What was what?" she asked, perplexed.

"The promise," he explained. "Before I left, you promised to tell me what you wanted to say when I came back. And I came back. So what was it you wanted to say?"

In all of the excitement of taking down Sovereign and finding her lover, Ashley almost forgot what she'd said in his cabin less than a day ago. Or rather, what she'd intended to say before she thought better of it. Ash couldn't say for sure if they'd have ever seen each other again. She already knew John would be fighting like hell to make his way back to her, but she'd wanted to add in that bit of extra incentive, if only just to give him something tangible to look forward to.

Smiling broadly, Ash leaned in closer and whispered, "The secret… is I love you too." And to prove she meant it, Ashley closed the little distance remaining to give him a soft but lasting kiss.

Off to the side of the elevator, Wrex let out a displeased noise.

* * *

><p><em>Several hours later…<em>

Now cleaned and decked in her BDU's instead of her armor, Ashley stood within one of the many halls of Huerta Memorial, keeping vigil over the room where John, Garrus, and Liara rested off their injuries. Outside, people everywhere were working to clean up after the mess the Geth had left, finding those who had gone missing, or making sure society as a whole didn't come crumbling down around them. Maybe Ashley should have been out there helping to rebuild. But she didn't want to leave her friends and lover, not again.

She gazed fondly at John as he rested on the bed from behind the pane of glass separating the hallway from the recovery room. She could see the skin not covered with the blanket was near covered in a myriad of bruises and bandages covering up treated wounds. Even with MediGel, no doubt John would walk away sporting a few more scars from today. But Ashley didn't mind. She's already spent more than enough time acquainting herself with each every mark and scar on John's body. Any new ones would be a testament to how he'd come back to her.

Anyone who might have seen Ash would probably think her to be suffering from lunacy, given the manic smile she had no hopes of repressing. It wasn't her fault she was feeling as though she were walking on air. She'd told John she loved him, and he'd been so overjoyed the man might have jumped off the stretcher to pick her up into his arms were it not for the pain relievers in his system. John kept that same smile throughout all of the procedures he'd been subjected to since arriving at Huerta. Even now as he slept, Ashley could see the pleasant quirk to the corners of his lips.

Ashley Williams loves John Shepard, and she knew he loves her back. With the Reapers defeated for now and her friends alive, Ashley had absolutely no reason to be melancholy.

She picked her head up when she heard footsteps coming toward her. Instead of finding another doctor like she'd expected, Captain Anderson came striding down the hall. He looked tired, but there was a spring to his step, like a man who's finally achieved his goals after years of labor.

By habit Ash saluted him as he came closer. "At ease, Williams," he commanded softly. Ashley relaxed, and Anderson stopped next to her, arms crossed behind his back as he gazed at the commander.

"The Council Chambers have been properly quarantined," he informed her. "Teams are moving in to assess the wreckage of Sovereign and begin transporting to an offsite location."

"Have you been taking proper precautions?" Ash wanted to know.

Anderson nodded. "We still don't really understand just what exactly Indoctrination is. But we're using special shielding that should block any and all forms of data transmission, and none of the pieces are being handled directly. In any event, I've ordered for all workers to receive regular psych evals, myself included, just in case."

"That's good to hear. Whatever tech Sovereign is made up of, it's way too above my pay grade to understand. But I've seen the kind of damage Indoctrination can inflict. The more info we can crack out of Sovereign, the better."

"If we can even find enough wreckage to study," Anderson acquiesced. "We've already had reports of widespread looting and Keepers dragging parts into whatever holes they reside in. Pieces of Sovereign landed on each arm of the Citadel. We don't have the manpower or the time to carefully register and evac every piece of wreckage there is."

Ash didn't have an answer for that. Keepers were in fact supposed to be constructs of the Reapers, so it would be natural if they had built in protocols to clear away Reaper tech in case one of them did die, so that no one could learn their secrets. At the same time, small time looters and thieves probably thought they were scoring a jackpot by lifting some rarely seen before tech for sale on the black market. But they more than likely had no idea about Indoctrination. At this moment, the remains of Sovereign could be working its dark magic on thugs from all different walks of life.

There was only so much they could do to prevent it. The Citadel was in disarray, its government and major political/commercial powers trying to pick up the pieces. Even if the Citadel's network of leaders and man power was working at one hundred percent, there would always be pieces of Sovereign that fell through the cracks, never to be seen again. There was simply no helping it.

Instead of answering, Ashley went back to looking at John through the window. It was so much easier to focus on her little slice of the universe, where the only things that mattered to Ashley were her family, her friends, and the man she loved. She wasn't cut out for working with the big picture like John and Anderson did on a regular basis. She preferred to be a helping hand, not the one leading the party.

Anderson followed her gaze, watching Shepard's sleeping form with a fond expression. Changing tactics he asked her, "How's the commander and his team doing? Nothing serious enough to take them out of the fight, I hope."

"A minor concussion, five cracked ribs, hairline fracture in his left arm, dislocated the knee joint on his right leg, plus a whole lot of bruising and surface cuts," Ash rattled off. "Doctors told me he's lucky; Shepard could have been a lot worse off, considering what he'd been through. Vakarian busted up his left arm a bit, a few of those spurs on his head snapped off. I think I heard somewhere they grow back. Liara's just exhausted more than anything. Too much biotics use."

"And the Krogan, Wrex?"

"Eh, redundant nervous system takes care of the big guy better than any doctor can. He left a couple hours ago, wanted to find a still working bar and 'drink to the nines' before... uh, hold on." Ashley stalled, her face scrunching up. "I… Achoo!"

"Gesundheit."

"Thanks," Ash said as she covertly wiped her nose clean. "Anyway, the docs have Shepard pretty heavily medicated, you know. He probably won't wake up for a few more hours, so you're a little early if you wanted to talk to him."

"Let the boy rest," Anderson deflected tenderly. "Lord knows Shepard deserves it more than most. Besides, the person I wanted to talk to was you, Chief Williams. I… owe you an apology, Ashley."

Taken off guard, she turned back to him with a queer look. "I don't recall being offended, sir."

"I don't suppose I was overt about it. But nevertheless, I did insult you. Not intentionally, or course, but I have to make things right."

Anderson was quiet for a long moment, starting to look nostalgic. For the life of her, Ashley couldn't figure out what exactly he'd done to insult her.

"Daniel Shepard was one of the closest friends I'd ever had," Anderson began after a moment, his voice quiet. "We'd met back when I was still in basic, and we were nigh inseparable ever since. He was there to help me get black out drunk after I made it through ICT. I was there to help make sure he didn't royally screw up with Hannah when they first started dating. Danny… he was like a brother to me. I'd have taken a bullet for the man, and I knew he'd do the same for me.

"His death took us all by surprise. John was barely more than five; Hannah still had a long future of service ahead of her. So I followed through on the promise I'd made Danny on his deathbed. I vowed to always be there for Hannah and John, to guide John into the kind of man his father hoped he would become. And like his father before him, John became a sort of surrogate family to me. I love him as though he were my own son. Pushing him toward ICT, and the nominating him for the Spectre position may seem contradictory to this, but all I've ever want is to keep John safe."

That love was plain for Ashley to see as Anderson talked about John. The Captain was usually so stoic and hard to read, a trait John had obviously taken after. So like John, seeing Anderson without his Mask was a strange sight to see. "I don't quite understand where I fit into this story, sir," Ashley tried.

Anderson paused again, clearly nervous before going on. "After the attack on Eden Prime, you were left in flux, Miss Williams. Because of our unique situation, it would have been perfectly understandable for me to simply hand you over to military high command and let them decide what your next assignment should be."

He turned to her, his gaze both stony and alight with emotion. "I studied your service record. The _Normandy_ would have been lucky to have a soldier like you. But an above average skill set couldn't really justify adding on another marine we didn't necessarily need. But then I had a much more compelling reason to place you under my command, and by extension, Shepard's command."

"You thought having me aboard the _Normandy_ would help keep John safe?" she guessed.

A nod. "You never truly met the Shepard I had known before Utukku. He was still courageous and noble, yes, but Shepard was a hard young man. He rarely if ever allowed himself to feel emotions that weren't essential to completing the next mission. But when he came back from your mission together, all those years ago, I saw a side of Shepard I thought I'd never see again. John smiled without restraint, laughed with the crew, became a beacon they could all look to and admire rather than cower in fear from.

"I had you reassigned because I knew wherever the mission took Shepard, it would place him in mortal peril. I felt having you aboard the _Normandy_ would keep him focused, make his reason for fighting visible to him on a day to day basis. So the reason I want to apologize to you, Chief Williams, is because I did not see you as a person. I saw you as a means to an end. A comfort to help aid the boy I care about. I am truly sorry for that."

Ashley didn't know how to respond to this confession. The logic made sense, seeing as how Ash and John had saved each other countless times during the mission. John himself had even suspected Anderson's intentions when he transferred Ashley to his command. But Ash understood where the older man was coming from. He merely wanted to do everything her could to ensure his 'son' would be safe. And in no way could she fault him for that.

Crossing her arms behind her back and adopting a businesslike stature, Ashley turned to the captain fully and said, "Sir, while I believe you have no reason to be apologetic, I accept your admission of guilt and forgive you. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you, sir, and I'm glad to hear you feel the same way about me."

A weight lifted off his shoulders, albeit a smaller one, and Anderson relaxed his posture with a small smile. "Thank you, Ashley. John cares for you quite a bit, so it means a lot to me to hear you say that."

"John means a lot to me too," Ash told him with a reassuring smile. "Knowing his mentor approves of me as well is more than enough. But if I might ask, sir, what brought this on now?"

Anderson hummed thoughtfully as he turned his head to look back through the window. "Shepard and I chose the marine detail from a pool of veterans, soldiers who had proven to be good at their jobs. So we needed a CO who could keep seasoned marines in line, not just greenbacks. Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was the clear choice for me. I'd worked with the man before, and I saw how he can control his men. His marines respect him, follow his orders, and never question him." Talking about Kaidan reopened the wound she still had from Virmire, though Ashley did her best not to let the captain see it.

He turned back to her and said, "I was surprised to hear that Shepard made you the head of the marine detail after Alenko's death. However, after what I saw today, I can't say I'm surprised anymore. Your men more than just respect you; they look up to you. They trust in you. You've held your new position for little more than a few days and the men already put their unquestionable faith in you.

"Today I realized I saw more in you than merely the soldier with the marred past. To be honest I see of lot of Shepard in you, Miss Williams. You share a certain of quality of courage and devotion to your goals, one that doesn't let you stop even when the whole galaxy seems to be trying to hold you back. I see now what drew Shepard to you when you first met."

Ashley could feel the heat in her cheeks rising. She still wasn't so used to people openly praising her. "Thank you, sir," she muttered with much less confidence than she wanted.

Anderson chuckled at her naivety. "Another trait of Shepard I see in you; modesty, even when you have every right to be otherwise." Smiling broadly, Anderson patted her on the shoulder before turning and walking back the way he came.

"I expect great things from you, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams," Anderson called over his shoulder. "And with Shepard to go by, you know I'm a good judge of character." Leaving the thought floating in the air, Anderson turned the corner and was gone from her sight, leaving Ashley alone to think about everything he'd said to her.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: We're back after yet another hiatus! So that pretty much wraps up the Mass Effect 1 story arc. The next few chapter will be focusing on what happened to our lovable band of misfits in between the games.<em>

_So, I purposely waited until after the new Mass Effect was announced at E3 (Yes, that's the story I'm going with, and now the whole "I'm really lazy" thing). _

_My first impressions... I'm not terribly excited, unfortunately. I like the idea of the song choice they went with, but Johnny Cash doesn't fit well in the ME universe if you ask me. I preferred the techno beats and symphonic overtures that were more prevalent in the first two games. _

_We saw new planets, which is to be expected since we're supposedly playing in an entirely new galaxy. We saw a whole bunch elements from the old games (Omni Blade, N7 logo). We saw a jetpack, but that's pretty par for the course with games nowadays. _

_I don't really know how I feel. Of course there's the whole, "Yay, new Mass Effect!" feeling. But at the same time, because the new game isn't supposed to have any overlap with the original trilogy at all, I'm fearful players won't actually get to see how their stories with Commander Shepard and their crew affected the galaxy as a whole. _

_So what what was your reaction to Mass Effect: Andromeda? Anything else at E3 that's initiated your hype train? Of course everyone is excited for Fallout 4. Dishonored 2 looks freaking amazing._

_I hope everyone has a really good summer!_


End file.
